Direct V Rapport building

[Bingo-Player]

I genuinely believe you are going to need to alternate between these two depending on the girl

Common pickup advice is " be direct , don't accept any non compliance , next "

but i speak to a lot of girls and honestly unless she is ridiculously attracted to you from the word go ( and sorry to break it unless your a 6ft 4 minted NBA player that probably won't be the case straight away ) then your gonna burn leads out really really fast

I do believe most girls want some level of comfort around you before committing to anything especially if they dont know you , maybe like 70 years ago grandpa would have said jump and grandma said how high but i really don't think todays girls respond well to it

I think ideally these days you almost need to build rapport first whilst establishing boundaries with her so you don't get booted straight into the freindzone

i think you can do this by talking about sex with her , dont be creepy but just make is subtly clear you are thinking about sleeping with or dating her

Keep the conversation pro active show her what your all about , be funny and dont let her drag you down pointless avenues

Once you have say a week or two's worth of rapport built then you go for the date , my feeling is your success rate will be a lot higher than just randomly hitting her up and asking for the date and having to next her real fast for "non compliance"

Appreciate some girls WILL respond to you being direct but the majority i feel do want that rapport established first as you know its a scary world out there

 

[2Rocky]

I agree wholeheartedly. I can think of one occasion where I met a girl I'd been saying hello to all semester as we passed on campus. We locked eyes, and started making out just after she came through the door.

Many times observing you interact with others will give her all the rapport she needs. You demonstrate you are liked and admired and it is more than social proof. She has to compete for your attention.

 

[jimwho]

Agree. I have always just called it the long game. I'm just too chicken to bring it up here for fear of being lambasted into the blue zone. I have no problem smiling or a wave "and that's it" then next time you see her you're not the creepy guy. I also give light signals to hopefully have them chase. But nothing is in stone with me, no real system. Good subject.

 

[Grounded eagle]

I genuinely believe you are going to need to alternate between these two depending on the girl

Common pickup advice is " be direct , don't accept any non compliance , next "

but i speak to a lot of girls and honestly unless she is ridiculously attracted to you from the word go ( and sorry to break it unless your a 6ft 4 minted NBA player that probably won't be the case straight away ) then your gonna burn leads out really really fast

I do believe most girls want some level of comfort around you before committing to anything especially if they dont know you , maybe like 70 years ago grandpa would have said jump and grandma said how high but i really don't think todays girls respond well to it

I think ideally these days you almost need to build rapport first whilst establishing boundaries with her so you don't get booted straight into the freindzone

i think you can do this by talking about sex with her , dont be creepy but just make is subtly clear you are thinking about sleeping with or dating her

Keep the conversation pro active show her what your all about , be funny and dont let her drag you down pointless avenues

Once you have say a week or two's worth of rapport built then you go for the date , my feeling is your success rate will be a lot higher than just randomly hitting her up and asking for the date and having to next her real fast for "non compliance"

Appreciate some girls WILL respond to you being direct but the majority i feel do want that rapport established first as you know its a scary world out there

Some of the most realistic and sensible advice I’ve ever seen here.

 

[Bingo-Player]

. You demonstrate you are liked and admired and it is more than social proof. She has to compete for your attention.

Yea definitely

I also think being too "alpha" with chicks can actually scare them off , a lot seem to get confused especially if they don't know you that well

A chick i am talking too actually said to me last night " i like you but please be a bit nicer"

She hasn't met me in person yet and because i was being so direct / blunt / alpha she just couldn't catch my actual vibe

I toned it down a bit and softened and her compliance actually went up to the stage where she suggested we should meet

 

[BadBoy89]

Once you have say a week or two's worth of rapport built then you go for the date , my feeling is your success rate will be a lot higher than just randomly hitting her up and asking for the date and having to next her real fast for "non compliance"

Appreciate some girls WILL respond to you being direct but the majority i feel do want that rapport established first as you know its a scary world out there

A week or two for rapport? That's only a man's wants a full-blown deep loving committed intimate relationship with the girl.

But if she is young and hot, I think a man has to close the deal in 360 seconds. What if you met the girl of your dreams and had to go to Spain in 2 days? What if she had to go to London the next day and you really wanted to sleep with her?

Any girl between 20-29 with any type of look is going to give in to her hounded by all sorts of guys for sex. If a man waits, she's already moved on.

 

[DonJuanjr]

A week or two for rapport? That's only a man's wants a full-blown deep loving committed intimate relationship with the girl.

I was thinking the same. "Netflix and chill" didn't become a global term for nothing. I'm thinking there's different approaches needed based on what you're looking for. Which will filter out the types of females that aren't into what you're looking for.

 

[Bingo-Player]

But if she is young and hot, I think a man has to close the deal in 360 seconds. What if you met the girl of your dreams and had to go to Spain in 2 days? What if she had to go to London the next day and you really wanted to sleep with her?

Like i said 90% of guys will just never be able to facilitate it , its a fantasy

The only way that's happening is if you demonstrate ridiculous value to her in 360 seconds ( celebrity , influencer , athlete )

The only hope you have is making enough of an impression on her ( rapport ) and she connects with you

Its PUA fantasy that these hot young women are going to fall at your knees at the click of your fingers

 

[Bingo-Player]

90% of guys?
After chatting for 15 mins.

"Hey lets go grab a beer there is a place right down the street"

She will be yea or nea
After beer or 2. Flirting

" Lets go back to my place"

She will be yea or nea.

All this depends on how you are presenting this too her. Numbers game yes but you got to shoot your shot. Dancing around sex is a vibe killer


"

Sounds simple , its not

1) most guys cant flirt

2) with modern rape culture so prominent very few women are going to go home with a stranger (non celebrity) after a 15 min introduction and a beer

I would like to see the actual percentage of women that commit to this kind of thing i seriously doubt it's that high

Even in a club environment where women are already drunk and horny it can be challenging to actually get her from the club into your bed unless you have that rapport and familiarity built


A couple months back a HB 8 gave me a wild fvck the reason she did ? because i was pre validated with one of her girlfriends i was a familiar face and she was comfortable around me after i built some rapport

Then she took me back to her place , stripped off in front of me and fvcked me without asking a single question

The above never would have happened had i approached her cold and started pressing her for immediate compliance

Girls give you the most sex when you make them think it's their idea , not yours

 

[Bingo-Player]

Well that would be creepy to "press"
I get what your saying but if you are out and cross paths with a chic and you hit the buttons of just being a cool guy and she has nothing going on. Why not?

What you described is social circle stuff. And its happened to me before. You just happened to be that guy at that right circle/place
Familiarity is good but dont forget a top fantasy for women is fcking a complete stranger and being controllably raped.

Theres rape scenes in romance novels. Now im not saying thats mainstream or right.
Just that women hide what they desire really fcking well.

Absolutley go for it , i'm not condemning it just saying i think the chances of that happening are slim

Yea i agree about the rape fantasy but consciously before she's going to allow you to get that far she's going to want to be comfortable and feel secure with you

To get to that stage productive rapport is the key