Ex girlfriend that breaks up with me now says she loves me and wants to see me

[donenrique]

Jesus H Christ on a moped man. 12 years older than you past her prime and a long distance relationship????

Why on earth would you accept such a situation for yourself.

basically the rest of your post is irrelevant. Reflect on what the hell brought you to this and fix it.



It gets worse. You chose an older woman, more than a decade older than you, in a long distance relationship (of which there is no such thing) with two teenage kids (the older kid is closer than age to you than she is) and she is broke too.

You really landed on your fvcking azz here didn't you.



Yes, now don't look back.



Incoherent at its finest. more game aware, self development yet you not only reached back out to her but you stayed in contact for two years. Not even a ldr now, a little friend for you.



Stop dating. Do off and work on your self esteem.

I'm not reading the rest, this is trash.

Thank you man I needed to hear this

 

[mjb3617]

Thank you man I needed to hear this

We've all been in your shoes before in some way shape or form.

Some of us found this site later than others. Stick around and listen to the veterans. Some have a more direct approach than others, but want to help nonetheless.

Onwards and upwards.

 

[DonJuanjr]

You are absolutely right, do you have the link to OP's story?

You are OP. OP stands for Original Poster.

 

[Reyaj]

Thank you man I needed to hear this

Ironically that low quality woman Lobo describes is probably better than anything he could get lol. I wouldn't be surprised if he still a virgin with the amount of hours he spends on here

 

[donenrique]

I'm glad OP posted this story. It showcases that if you take a third world female away from her environment, she will employ her hypergamous needs, and dualistic sexual strategy. Just like any other female.

Just curious what do you think her hypegamous need, in this case is?

 

[DonJuanjr]

Just curious what do you think her hypegamous need, in this case is?

The same as every female. Hypergamy is the constant drive of a female to position herself to have access to providers with more resources. Here's an example https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/mom-is-becoming-redpilled.271421/

She broke up with you, because she wasn't doing well financially. The next thing you know she might be married to a wealthy older guy now in the U.S. When she gets here, she now is being shady about her situation with you. Not wanting to show that she's married and trying to cheat on her husband. This is her dualistic sexual strategy. She has her provider(her husband), now her desire for him is lowering. She is looking for a lover to get those chemical highs from sex with a different man. She will not risk losing her provider for a lover. The provider is more important, even if she doesn't desire him like she does with a lover. That's why she is being shady about it.

You should move on. She's 42... Find a younger one, or two..

 

[donenrique]

She is looking for a lover to get those chemical highs from sex with a different man. She will not risk losing her provider for a lover. The provider is more important, even if she doesn't desire him like she does with a lover. That's why she is being shady about it.

Did not see it that way, you just opened up my mind to a different perspective.

My curiosity/question now is this, if she is in a transactional "relationship" at the moment, and looking for a lover to give her those chemical highs again, if I was that person (or one of them) that she was trying to seek them from. Why has she now pulled away? Could it be due to my less available behavior that I was portraying? Not giving her what she wants? Or is it a **** test? Trying to put me in her frame again?

 

[donenrique]

You should move on. She's 42... Find a younger one, or two..

Trying to, but discovering her behaviors/true motives from men with more experiencing is truly enlightening.

 

[SW15]

I'm glad OP posted this story. It showcases that if you take a third world female away from her environment, she will employ her hypergamous needs, and dualistic sexual strategy. Just like any other female.

If you desire to have traditional marriage and family, women raised in Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe are better options for that. There's one key catch to that. You as the man must relocate to her country. Going to the 2nd or 3rd world and bringing a woman back to the United States or another Western nation defeats the purpose of going to the 2nd/3rd world. This is because women are like water and take the shape of their environment. If you go to Peru, find a woman, and bring her back to the United States, she'll starting acting more like a Western woman once she starts meeting white American women. She might be a little better than a Western woman in terms of attitude or behavior, but you won't get the advantages of a truly feminine and more traditional woman.

Western nation men who want marriage and family have two real choices:

1. Hitch your wagon to some Western woman: This is a bad idea. Spend only a few weeks in Toronto, Sydney, London, or any major U.S. city and you'll see why.
2. Leave your Western nation and immigrate to a non-Western country to have your family. This is the better option.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Trying to, but discovering her behaviors/true motives from men with more experiencing is truly enlightening.

You probably have more experience with women than I do... I just learned this from men with more experience, and seen other experienced men like @mrgoodstuff and @metalwater agree to the idea. After comparing the concepts with my own experiences, and observations, I agree.

As far as why she's pulling away... I'm not sure. Maybe there's been other lovers in the mix. Maybe she feels like you're going to compromise her with the more important husband(provider). What matters is, at your age you can find better than a 42 year old who's pushed out a couple kids.

 

[donenrique]

You probably have more experience with women than I do... I just learned this from men with more experience, and seen other experienced men like @mrgoodstuff and @metalwater agree to the idea. After comparing the concepts with my own experiences, and observations, I agree.

As far as why she's pulling away... I'm not sure. Maybe there's been other lovers in the mix. Maybe she feels like you're going to compromise her with the more important husband(provider). What matters is, at your age you can find better than a 42 year old who's pushed out a couple kids.

Thanks for the compliment man, I see things a lot more clear than before in my mid 20s, but sometimes I still find myself puzzled and or doubting my intuition about her true motives. I agree with what you say about @mrgoodstuff and @metalwater, in fact for this being my first post I have gained a lot of great advice from a lot of the guys here.

I still find it crazy though that she would just want to pull me back in momentarily for her own self-fulfilling attention needs, and not mean what she said, knowing that she knows how intense I was over her.

Haven't heard from her in a week, and dont plan on hitting her up.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks for the compliment man, I see things a lot more clear than before in my mid 20s, but sometimes I still find myself puzzled and or doubting my intuition about her true motives. I agree with what you say about @mrgoodstuff and @metalwater, in fact for this being my first post I have gained a lot of great advice from a lot of the guys here.

I still find it crazy though that she would just want to pull me back in momentarily for her own self-fulfilling attention needs, and not mean what she said, knowing that she knows how intense I was over her.

Haven't heard from her in a week, and dont plan on hitting her up.

Yes it is all crazy. But the ladies are playing these attention and validation games. She surely recognized that you had intense desire and thirst for her. She wanted that strong attention to make her feel some sort of way.

 

[donenrique]

Yes it is all crazy. But the ladies are playing these attention and validation games. She surely recognized that you had intense desire and thirst for her. She wanted that strong attention to make her feel some sort of way.

So she basically got her fix from me and now she's through again?

 

[Grounded eagle]

So she basically got her fix from me and now she's through again?

You might need to re read the rational male.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So she basically got her fix from me and now she's through again?

Basically. Shes filled to the brim by you with confidence to fvck the man who doesn't care as much as you did.

 

[HaleyBaron]

So my situation is this, I was dating this older chick back in 2016 (she was 37 and I was 24)

Your culture in south america is likely very matriarch, which unfortunately was caused by your government. I've seen it enough from the immigrants who come here into America from there who act similar. So to you, women are king.

No. You are the king. And the first step to being a man is to learn that. The second step is to stop getting with older women. Women are prime between 14 [which I believe is legal where you are] and 25. After 25, something changes in their brain and they become ****tier. You are young, don't go after older women unless she's a celebrity or wealthy politician. **** as many women as possible, but dont get any of them pregnant.

 

[donenrique]

Basically. Shes filled to the brim by you with confidence to fvck the man who doesn't care as much as you did.

Ouch

 

[donenrique]

Basically. Shes filled to the brim by you with confidence to fvck the man who doesn't care as much as you did.

But I didnt give her that much attention this time around, in fact I was being less available and she was complaining about that and said that I was "too busy for her" and that she didnt want to bother me anymore.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

But I didnt give her that much attention this time around, in fact I was being less available and she was complaining about that and said that I was "too busy for her" and that she didnt want to bother me anymore.

You need to stay busy. She won't be the last one you deal with. Dismiss them unless she's trying to be on your jock.

 

[donenrique]

Your culture in south america is likely very matriarch, which unfortunately was caused by your government. I've seen it enough from the immigrants who come here into America from there who act similar. So to you, women are king.

Its funny you say that because in fact our culture in south america is sometimes labeled as misogynist, but in the sense that the women should stay home, and the husband work and make a living for the entire family. However, I have seen a lot of patterns where the husband is kind of submissive to the wife, in the sense that he wants to keep her happy the entire time or else there will be indifference or punishment from her.

I will say this though, women in south america are all about the husband providing for her. It is very common and sometimes engraved in the culture for the man to take care of the woman specifically in a monetary form. And the finer or hotter the woman is, the more she expects of that.