Do i have a chance to attract this girl back to me ?

[brizi]

Hello, i'm new here !

I have a question... I'm 34y and i met a 31y old girl on a dating website, connexion was really GREAT between us, we dated and went together very fast, but because of my previous relationship i was not ready to be with her, i had trouble to open myself, i was feeling empty.

She asked me to show more love and attention multiples times but I was really blocked, I wanted to see her only on week end and be alone the rest of the week. she was feeling lonely. We still had some great moments together, she even talked about mariage etc... (she was thinking fast yeah) so i assume she liked me, and she knews about my bad previous relationship and that i needed time.

After 6 months, she decided to leave me... i had to make a logo for her job (I am an artist)and she wanted to stay friends with me, I asked her if it was for the logo that she wanted to stay friends, she replied me no, i just don't want to cut contact... i told her i don't want to be your friend, but i will finish the logo don't worry.

I tried everything to get her back for 2 weeks, bought her a gift, said i love her (was the first time i said it), kissed her hands, i even cried... i realised my mistakes... but it didn't work...

She still wanted to talk to me, but i asked her how can i show that i'm making changes if we can't meet ??? She said that she was not ready to meet me.

i told her "i give up"

she said "ok sorry to be annoying wish you the best" and she deleted me everywhere...

but she still came for her logo... lol, so I finished it and sent it to her a week ago.

Since that i have no news from her.... she is a military girl, very stubborn... i was thinking the more i chase her the less she will want to be back with me.

So, since the logo is done, I stopped talking to her and i'm hoping that "no contact" could work and bring her back.. (i know no contact is not made for that at the first place, but i know that it can happen if the girl care).

But since the relationship was not perfect at all and we were only together for 6 months, i'm doubting... do you think it's still the best solution in my case ? i think showed her that i care and tried plenty of thing, even did her logo (was lots of work...) But someone told me i should not have said "i give up" but well, i tried everything to meet her she didn't want, that's why i said that.

Messaging her and explaining to her why i said "i give up" would still be chasing her and i'm assuming that if she cares enough about me, she would try to fix it anyway...

Should i try to message her or just wait and see what happen ? it's been a week now... (i really want her back and i'm full of regrets)

thanks

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Definitely wait. Don't contact for several months and only if you're completely over her. It seems fairly clear why she left and she knows that you're willing to make changes, but nothing will work until you both have moved on, and very likely you'll both will have lost interest. But it's worth a shot down the line, just don't get your hopes up over it. It has to be entirely her idea, especially if she's stubborn.

Once her head clears and she mostly forgets about you, she will remember the good parts and not just the frustrating parts. Once that happens she might get curious if she happens to reminisce about you, and logistically speaking that's when your opening is. But like I said, chances are you'll be into other women at that point.

 

[handle]

You don’t need to overthink this. You have put the ball in her court several times over. Best to err on the side of backing off.

Yeah, something might happen months or years down the line. But do you want to spend the intervening time worrying over mere possibilities?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Business and Pleasure rarely end well, this could easily be a competitor trying to seize your revenue streams if you have any by logging all your interactions with this person, that being worst case scenario but again, business and pleasure rarely mix well, even when they do, the consequences are still there.

If you rely on the Internet to feed you, I'd be keeping two very separate identities online.

 

[brizi]

thanks for your replies!

Definitely wait. Don't contact for several months and only if you're completely over her. It seems fairly clear why she left and she knows that you're willing to make changes, but nothing will work until you both have moved on, and very likely you'll both will have lost interest. But it's worth a shot down the line, just don't get your hopes up over it. It has to be entirely her idea, especially if she's stubborn.

Once her head clears and she mostly forgets about you, she will remember the good parts and not just the frustrating parts. Once that happens she might get curious if she happens to reminisce about you, and logistically speaking that's when your opening is. But like I said, chances are you'll be into other women at that point.

What's weird is i'm not even sure if she understands that i want to be with her and get another chance, i mean... i did everything, even the bad one, begged, cried, buy gift, kissed her hands, hugged her etc... But then she talked to me on internet to be "friends" and i didn't reply her and she told me : "even after the break up, i'm still confused, you try to get me back and when i'm talking to you, you don't reply", I told her that i didn't want to be her friend and asked her if there is a chance that we could get back together, she replied "we don't know what the futur is made of" but at the moment i want to stay friends and not cut contact with you.

i didn't agree with that, asked her to meet she said that she is not ready to meet me, that's when i said "ok i give up" and then she said "sorry to be annoying, wish you the best" and deleted me, I'm not sure how she took the "give up" thing, and yeah i know it's bad to overthink and try to get excuses to reach out... but i'm always wondering if she knows.

I just didn't want to make the break up easy for her and talk to her everyday like everything is normal till she gets another bf and throw me away, that's why i was not replying to her messages, then i sent her the logo a week ago "she said thank you very much!" , then i said "no problem " and she replied a smile "" and done... (and i really hate those kind of smile "" )

Just hope she knows i care... and she is the type of girl that is scared of rejection, so i don't know if she would reach out one day or not.

You don’t need to overthink this. You have put the ball in her court several times over. Best to err on the side of backing off.

Yeah, something might happen months or years down the line. But do you want to spend the intervening time worrying over mere possibilities?

I know, i don't need to overthink but, since i feel i made mistakes in the relationship, i have lots of regrets and it's difficult to live with it, i didn't want to loose her, we realise the value of things when we loose them, and it's bad ! i just can't let it go atm and i'm constantly fighting against myself to don't contact her... it depends the hours of the day.

Business and Pleasure rarely end well, this could easily be a competitor trying to seize your revenue streams if you have any by logging all your interactions with this person, that being worst case scenario but again, business and pleasure rarely mix well, even when they do, the consequences are still there.

If you rely on the Internet to feed you, I'd be keeping two very separate identities online.

what do you mean business ? about the logo ? i made it for free ^^ i started it i was in couple with her, and she left me a week later, and when she left me she said : "if you think i still want to talk to you because of the logo, just give me the name of another graphist i will pay and then you'll see that i'm still talking to you" but i told her nah, i will finish it for free.

 

[Robert28]

The problem IS that you care more than she does. See if she cared she’d be doing all the stuff you were doing to win her back. But she didn’t. When you tried to set a date and meet up she blew you off. There’s another example of who cares way more. She might come back but it won’t be for the reasons you want, she will come back for attention and validation.

 

[brizi]

The problem IS that you care more than she does. See if she cared she’d be doing all the stuff you were doing to win her back. But she didn’t. When you tried to set a date and meet up she blew you off. There’s another example of who cares way more. She might come back but it won’t be for the reasons you want, she will come back for attention and validation.

she broke up with me because i was the one who didn't care at first... i mean, i cared about her but i was feeling so empty because of an abusive relationship i had befor, i was with a woman that was telling lies all the time, menacing to kill herself when i wanted to leave, cheated on me etc... i lost like 20lbs because of this girl... And then i met my new girlfriend (this girl) and i told her i need time, i told her about my bad previous relationship. she knews it, and she was really into me, but 6 months later yeah she decided to leave because i didn't show enough. And when she left i realised my mistake and wanted to open myself to her, but she said it's too late when i press the "off" button to protect myself i become selfish and i don't feel anything.

but maybe she thinks i don't care because i wanted to cut contact and not speak to her, i don't know.... i doubt a lot about my choice man

 

[Grounded eagle]

Hello, i'm new here !

I have a question... I'm 34y and i met a 31y old girl on a dating website, connexion was really GREAT between us, we dated and went together very fast, but because of my previous relationship i was not ready to be with her, i had trouble to open myself, i was feeling empty.

She asked me to show more love and attention multiples times but I was really blocked, I wanted to see her only on week end and be alone the rest of the week. she was feeling lonely. We still had some great moments together, she even talked about mariage etc... (she was thinking fast yeah) so i assume she liked me, and she knews about my bad previous relationship and that i needed time.

After 6 months, she decided to leave me... i had to make a logo for her job (I am an artist)and she wanted to stay friends with me, I asked her if it was for the logo that she wanted to stay friends, she replied me no, i just don't want to cut contact... i told her i don't want to be your friend, but i will finish the logo don't worry.

I tried everything to get her back for 2 weeks, bought her a gift, said i love her (was the first time i said it), kissed her hands, i even cried... i realised my mistakes... but it didn't work...

She still wanted to talk to me, but i asked her how can i show that i'm making changes if we can't meet ??? She said that she was not ready to meet me.

i told her "i give up"

she said "ok sorry to be annoying wish you the best" and she deleted me everywhere...

but she still came for her logo... lol, so I finished it and sent it to her a week ago.

Since that i have no news from her.... she is a military girl, very stubborn... i was thinking the more i chase her the less she will want to be back with me.

So, since the logo is done, I stopped talking to her and i'm hoping that "no contact" could work and bring her back.. (i know no contact is not made for that at the first place, but i know that it can happen if the girl care).

But since the relationship was not perfect at all and we were only together for 6 months, i'm doubting... do you think it's still the best solution in my case ? i think showed her that i care and tried plenty of thing, even did her logo (was lots of work...) But someone told me i should not have said "i give up" but well, i tried everything to meet her she didn't want, that's why i said that.

Messaging her and explaining to her why i said "i give up" would still be chasing her and i'm assuming that if she cares enough about me, she would try to fix it anyway...

Should i try to message her or just wait and see what happen ? it's been a week now... (i really want her back and i'm full of regrets)

thanks

You burned your bridges with her when you grovelled for her.Forget about her.It’s done.Barring a monumental shift in circumstances,her opinion of you is set in stone.Don’t know what you saw in her,but there are other girls who have those same qualities out there.Go find them.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hello, i'm new here !

I have a question... I'm 34y and i met a 31y old girl on a dating website, connexion was really GREAT between us, we dated and went together very fast, but because of my previous relationship i was not ready to be with her, i had trouble to open myself, i was feeling empty.

She asked me to show more love and attention multiples times but I was really blocked, I wanted to see her only on week end and be alone the rest of the week. she was feeling lonely. We still had some great moments together, she even talked about mariage etc... (she was thinking fast yeah) so i assume she liked me, and she knews about my bad previous relationship and that i needed time.

After 6 months, she decided to leave me... i had to make a logo for her job (I am an artist)and she wanted to stay friends with me, I asked her if it was for the logo that she wanted to stay friends, she replied me no, i just don't want to cut contact... i told her i don't want to be your friend, but i will finish the logo don't worry.

I tried everything to get her back for 2 weeks, bought her a gift, said i love her (was the first time i said it), kissed her hands, i even cried... i realised my mistakes... but it didn't work...

She still wanted to talk to me, but i asked her how can i show that i'm making changes if we can't meet ??? She said that she was not ready to meet me.

i told her "i give up"

she said "ok sorry to be annoying wish you the best" and she deleted me everywhere...

but she still came for her logo... lol, so I finished it and sent it to her a week ago.

Since that i have no news from her.... she is a military girl, very stubborn... i was thinking the more i chase her the less she will want to be back with me.

So, since the logo is done, I stopped talking to her and i'm hoping that "no contact" could work and bring her back.. (i know no contact is not made for that at the first place, but i know that it can happen if the girl care).

But since the relationship was not perfect at all and we were only together for 6 months, i'm doubting... do you think it's still the best solution in my case ? i think showed her that i care and tried plenty of thing, even did her logo (was lots of work...) But someone told me i should not have said "i give up" but well, i tried everything to meet her she didn't want, that's why i said that.

Messaging her and explaining to her why i said "i give up" would still be chasing her and i'm assuming that if she cares enough about me, she would try to fix it anyway...

Should i try to message her or just wait and see what happen ? it's been a week now... (i really want her back and i'm full of regrets)

thanks

Dude. WTF? Walk away, block her and move on. There was nothing here and it's done. Silence is the key. You have a lot of work to do. However, we've made it easy for you by providing the building blocks in becoming the best version of you.

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