New female gym goer, reports gym managers friend for offering her lift home.

[Don Dark Horse]

Woman has just started going to gym. She has to get a 15 minute bus ride to the gym. One of the regular male gym goers offered her a lift back whilst in the gym. She has complained to the gym manager saying that he waited until they were alone, then asked her.

I was training with the gym manager and another lad..couple nights ago. They were both saying the guy was creepy for offering a lift back. Personally, i think it's a reasonable offer. All she has to do is say no thanks. I'm aware that women should not be getting into cars with men they hardly know, but from a mans perspective.. why not offer the lift?! It's a forward move, she might be turned on by his physicality in the gym and fancy fu*king him.

I open to the floor: Is it better to approach a girl when she's alone? Or when there are onlookers? (I think it is situational dependent. In a gym, it's probably better to approach when a girl is not alone so as to not make her feel cornered.)

 

[sangheilios]

I've done a few approaches at the gym and it is an environment that can turn things really ugly if you aren't careful. Something you need to consider is that you are going to be running into the same people on at least a semi regular basis. There is nothing wrong with approaching and it can be done, but it creates a set of circumstances that can be awkward for both parties very easily. If you are a man and get rejected or she seems to be flakey, immediately abort and don't talk to her ever again. From my personal experience, too many woman today are addicted to attention and will think nothing of leading on some guy at the gym just for some attention. It's not at all normal behavior but it is something that is quite prevalent and I don't think a lot of men are aware of it.

A few years ago I approached this girl at the gym that I had started seeing there and we spoke for about 10 minutes. I saw her a couple days later and she approached ME, we talked about what we liked to do and she more or less asked me out to go hiking, so naturally I accepted. She flaked on our date, to which I immediately had a really bad gut feeling about, and then ghosted me for a week. She then used me as an orbiter that she led on, repeating the same behavior. I ended up confronting her and asked her if she had a problem with me and she finally left me alone but then months later tried to approach me, I literally walked away. I later found out she did this to tons of other men regularly a completely lied about what she had done in order to make me look bad.

This story above is a more extreme example but people need to be aware that this does happen, my other approaches all went went well initially but resulted in something similar.

 

[Don Dark Horse]

Offering a chick a lift home is a simp move. She can get her own @ss back and forth to the gym. Classic 'nice guy' behavior. A 15 minute bus ride is nothing he isn't offering anything of real value.

Having said that he didn't do anything wrong, it was only stupid. Let me tell you what goes on in a chick's mind when this happens:

(1) What does he want?
(2) How does he know I don't have a car, how does he know I take the bus? Is he following me?
(3) Is he a stalker (BTW chicks hate that sh1t)?
(4) Is he trying to figure out where I live?
(5) Why does he think I'm interested?
(6) When I'm ready to go, will her just drop his workout to be my chauffeur?

This move has red flags all over the place for a chick. Never offer anyone a lift unless they are established friends, or if the person you just met is too drunk to drive. Then you have a reason.

I think the biggest problem here is the dude has no social intelligence at all, doesn't know how to read female body language, and is generally clueless. If he was interested he should have just asked for her phone number.

This is extremely accurate.

 

[DonJuanjr]

This is extremely accurate.

I'd venture to say that given female solipsism, they will defer to number 3 the majority of the time.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Speak for yourself.

Not every man or woman is swayed so easily by superficial "good looks" that they allow their rational judgement and principles to be compromised like a love struck teenager.

Coming so close to describing Simp behavior (allowing yourself to turn a blind eye to women's bad behavior because she is pleasing on the eye. Easily manipulated.

Let's use sales people as an example, it's been proven that most people are more likely to buy a product if an attractive person is selling it.

And let's go back to dating, if a fat woman was being rude you would simply block her. Now if a Victoria secret model exhibited the same behaviour you would tolerate it for longer.

I'm not saying what the woman did was right, it was an overreaction since she simply could of said no thanks.

I've done a few approaches at the gym and it is an environment that can turn things really ugly if you aren't careful. Something you need to consider is that you are going to be running into the same people on at least a semi regular basis. There is nothing wrong with approaching and it can be done, but it creates a set of circumstances that can be awkward for both parties very easily. If you are a man and get rejected or she seems to be flakey, immediately abort and don't talk to her ever again. From my personal experience, too many woman today are addicted to attention and will think nothing of leading on some guy at the gym just for some attention. It's not at all normal behavior but it is something that is quite prevalent and I don't think a lot of men are aware of it.

A few years ago I approached this girl at the gym that I had started seeing there and we spoke for about 10 minutes. I saw her a couple days later and she approached ME, we talked about what we liked to do and she more or less asked me out to go hiking, so naturally I accepted. She flaked on our date, to which I immediately had a really bad gut feeling about, and then ghosted me for a week. She then used me as an orbiter that she led on, repeating the same behavior. I ended up confronting her and asked her if she had a problem with me and she finally left me alone but then months later tried to approach me, I literally walked away. I later found out she did this to tons of other men regularly a completely lied about what she had done in order to make me look bad.

This story above is a more extreme example but people need to be aware that this does happen, my other approaches all went went well initially but resulted in something similar.

When it comes to gyms,cafes and bookstores an indirect approach works best, you need to slowly escalate and see how she reacts before you ask her out.

Direct game in these environments are a recipe for disaster.

 

[Alvafe]

guys its only creepy if he is ugly, we know that she knows that, any simp who act on a dumb thing like this deserve his bussiness to fail, moving on

 

[sangheilios]

When it comes to gyms,cafes and bookstores an indirect approach works best, you need to slowly escalate and see how she reacts before you ask her out.

Direct game in these environments are a recipe for disaster.

With that particular example I provided nothing I personally did was incorrect with the approach, the issue was running into an attention ***** with some mental health issues and ignoring the red flags from early on simply because she was very hot. As you mentioned on your post earlier, when we find someone really attractive we are more likely to ignore troubling signs simply because we want to bang, every single man has had this happen to him at one point.

However, I do feel that an initial approach and building up a bit of rapport is the correct method in an environment like this. I do believe that a man should be fairly sensitive and aware of rejection or getting led on so that he can cut that woman off right then and there. I also believe that many woman today lack social skills when it comes to dealing with men, are conflict avoidant and don't know how to reject appropriately. It's easier for them to pretend to like the guy, lead him on and then flake on a date instead of just saying no. Also, in a situation like this they can still gain what they want, attention and validation.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I open to the floor: Is it better to approach a girl when she's alone? Or when there are onlookers? (I think it is situational dependent. In a gym, it's probably better to approach when a girl is not alone so as to not make her feel cornered.)

At the gym, there is this woman who was hitting on me and this tall slim guy that was trying to stare me down, off and on for about 2 months, turns out this chick is married and this guy is her husband, I approached her and she just let's loose about how she's in a depression and has 2 Kids and is married with a husband and it was in this moment I realized she was just looking for validation, got it and now I'm looking like a fool, so I interacted with her for a couple seconds longer, then abruptly walked off while she was mid sentence, then totally ignored her.

Approaching with onlookers for me has consistently shown to be about her ego and nothing else, I would say don't do it

 

[In2theGame]

"Creepy" = she thinks he's ugly.

lol

 

[Bokanovsky]

"Reporting" someone for offering her a ride is excessive and unreasonable. A polite no should be sufficient.

 

[bat soup]

At the gym, there is this woman who was hitting on me and this tall slim guy that was trying to stare me down, off and on for about 2 months, turns out this chick is married and this guy is her husband, I approached her and she just let's loose about how she's in a depression and has 2 Kids and is married with a husband and it was in this moment I realized she was just looking for validation, got it and now I'm looking like a fool, so I interacted with her for a couple seconds longer, then abruptly walked off while she was mid sentence, then totally ignored her.

Approaching with onlookers for me has consistently shown to be about her ego and nothing else, I would say don't do it

I would rather not have onlookers. If a woman begins spouting BS, just turn around and walk off. You don't owe her your time.

 

[B80]

unless the woman is unhinged, I'd imagine he didn;t come across at all well to end up being reported. socially uncalibrated I expect.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Guys can be pretty brutal at the gym sometimes, like a lot of muscular guys at the gym think they are hot sh1t but the thing is, if your practically maxxed out, wtf r u still doing at the gym,

Tell me you have no idea about how working out works without telling me you have no idea how working out works.

 

[SW15]

I'd imagine he didn;t come across at all well to end up being reported. socially uncalibrated I expect.

Lots of men are socially uncalibrated.

guys its only creepy if he is ugly, we know that she knows that, any simp who act on a dumb thing like this deserve his bussiness to fail,

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Tell me you have no idea about how working out works without telling me you have no idea how working out works.

Any guy who needs to go the gym everyday does not have a purpose, especially if he's maxxed, you can go up to 3 weeks without working out before seeing any drop offs and you should if your maxxed.

Its embarrassing to see guys like you with your rhetoric but nothing of substance to actually say, like working out is simple.

 

[SW15]

Any guy who needs to go the gym everyday does not have a purpose, especially if he's maxxed, you can go up to 3 weeks without working out before seeing any drop offs and you should if your maxxed.

Its embarrassing to see guys like you with your rhetoric but nothing of substance to actually say, like working out is simple.

Working out 4-5 days a week is fine. Over the years, that's what I've tried to do. It's not a good idea to go every day because muscles need rest and recovery periods.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Working out 4-5 days a week is fine. Over the years, that's what I've tried to do. It's not a good idea to go every day because muscles need rest and recovery periods.

Yes, for building muscle its fine however you don't need to do that type of time to maintain, after a certain point your time will be better spent doing something else unless your just defaulting to spending time at the gym because it's a way to spend time.

 

[SW15]

Yes, for building muscle its fine however you don't need to do that type of time to maintain, after a certain point your time will be better spent doing something else unless your just defaulting to spending time at the gym because it's a way to spend time.

You can use your gym time once muscular to approach women.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

You can use your gym time once muscular to approach women.

Regardless of how you look, desperation looks and feels the same way.

 

[SW15]

You can use your gym time once muscular to approach women.

Regardless of how you look, desperation looks and feels the same way.

If you are a muscular guy between 6'0" and 6'5", you don't have to do much in order to seduce. Imagine being 6'2", muscular, and driving a Porsche 911. You would have more leeway on game. You could drive women home from the gym in the Porsche.