What motivates women to insist or suggest a dinner first date?

[roaming shark]

Over the past 6 years I’ve developed a firm no dinner first date rule. Early on I would bend the knee. I enforce my boundary now with ease. But I’m curious what’s the reason lots of women, maybe even 10-20% or more push for this?

the simple answer is they see you as a provider and just want a meal, or maybe they subconsciously want some assurance of investment early on. I don’t know. In hindsight, I seem to recall most of the women that insisted on this, and we would then go to dinner; they were typically needy and with red flags. So something is probably linked in that respect.

Thoughts? How do you enforce this boundary, if you do? I just say “I have a no first date dinner rule, don’t be lame” Or something similar.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Just frame the first meet as a "chemistry check" to avoid this. No girl wants to have to sit through a dinner date with someone who's lame, so play up that angle if you have to.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yes quick date, 30mins-1hours (the shorter the best), if the date goes well and you leave with a smile after 15-20 mins with a "I have to go, it was nice meeting you really, see you soon" without any explanation, I guess it's mind bugging for the girl and you, your value goes up. She will think that she didn't pass the test or that she did something wrong. She is used to all the beta trying to buy her attention/love, not used to a guy who doesn't give a fvck if she calls back or not. You're different from the rest, plus you don't waste your time and money. It's winner.
10$ max (coffee) or ideally free (a walk in the park). No touching, nothing. If she still wants to see you after that, it's a good sign. This way you get rid of the gold diggers, girls looking for orbiters/providers, time wasters, etc. Only high interest girls.

Interesting strategy. Seems like it could work well if you leave early while on a high note. Not sure this could work with insecure girls though.

 

[Juanto]

Yes quick date, 30mins-1hours (the shorter the best), if the date goes well and you leave with a smile after 15-20 mins with a "I have to go, it was nice meeting you really, see you soon" without any explanation, I guess it's mind bugging for the girl, your value goes up. She will think that she didn't pass the test or that she did something wrong. She is used to all the beta trying to buy her attention/love, not used to a guy who doesn't give a fvck if she calls back or not. You're different from the rest, plus you don't waste your time and money. It's winner.
10$ max (coffee) or ideally free (a walk in the park). No touching, nothing. If she still wants to see you after that, it's a good sign. This way you get rid of the gold diggers, girls looking for orbiters/providers, time wasters, etc. Only high interest girls.

I tend to agree with this for sure, only slight adjustment I would make is to add some kino and see if she complies (like for example touching her hand and checking if she backs off or maintains contact). What do you think about this mikedee?

 

[SW15]

It's possible to avoid dinner dates. In the early 2010s, after reading about no dinner dates in restaurants before sex, I stopped offering dinner dates in restaurants as first dates. If you don't offer a woman a dinner date but instead suggest something else, she won't usually ask for a dinner date.

This gets challenging to enforce as the number of dates increases without sex.

 

[Juanto]

Light kino is ok, it shows that you not afraid of being physical with a girl, but it has to be light in my opinion. I wouldn't force kino though, if it happens it happens if it doesn't, next time. You don't want to look like the creepy guy, especially on a 15min date.

usually my first dates are around 1 hour, so I reckon there is time for some kino on a 1st date

 

[Romanemp22]

Ofcourse . In most cases if she indicated dinner on first date, it means that she's out for free dinner and she's doing that frequently. It can also be a form of sh1t test.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have never had one insist on dinner.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Yes quick date, 30mins-1hours (the shorter the best), if the date goes well and you leave with a smile after 15-20 mins with a "I have to go, it was nice meeting you really, see you soon" without any explanation, I guess it's mind bugging for the girl, your value goes up. She will think that she didn't pass the test or that she did something wrong. She is used to all the beta trying to buy her attention/love, not used to a guy who doesn't give a fvck if she calls back or not. You're different from the rest, plus you don't waste your time and money. It's winner.
10$ max (coffee) or ideally free (a walk in the park). No touching, nothing. If she still wants to see you after that, it's a good sign. This way you get rid of the gold diggers, girls looking for orbiters/providers, time wasters, etc. Only high interest girls.

Do you find that this works consistently for you? The few times I had to cut the first date short (because I legitimately had a limited amount of time before having to go somewhere else), I could instantly see the girls getting butthurt. Women these days have very fragile egos, so I can see this strategy backfiring.

 

[Mazer]

No dinner until sex. Only drinks.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Over the past 6 years I’ve developed a firm no dinner first date rule. Early on I would bend the knee. I enforce my boundary now with ease. But I’m curious what’s the reason lots of women, maybe even 10-20% or more push for this?

There’s a word for this. It’s called “gluttony”.

 

[Robert28]

My rule is no pu$$y no dinner.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Dinner dates are reserved for girlfriends only, not a chick you just met.

 

[f(x)]

If the drink phase goes well I might suggest getting a slice of pizza or ice cream.

Anything involving waitstaff is out of the question.

I have had several OLD matches say “maybe we can meet for drinks or dinner or something”

I’m guessing this may be some sort of test?

 

[Robert28]

Chad didn’t take them anywhere and they gave it up to him anytime, anyplace. I expect the same treatment.

 

[bat soup]

Over the past 6 years I’ve developed a firm no dinner first date rule. Early on I would bend the knee. I enforce my boundary now with ease. But I’m curious what’s the reason lots of women, maybe even 10-20% or more push for this?

the simple answer is they see you as a provider and just want a meal, or maybe they subconsciously want some assurance of investment early on. I don’t know. In hindsight, I seem to recall most of the women that insisted on this, and we would then go to dinner; they were typically needy and with red flags. So something is probably linked in that respect.

Thoughts? How do you enforce this boundary, if you do? I just say “I have a no first date dinner rule, don’t be lame” Or something similar.

I don't think that women generally push for it, they just expect it because that is what most guys do. If a woman is demanding that you take her somewhere I´d put that down as her trying to lead the interaction and therefore it´s probably a scam.

I firmly believe that women shouldn't lead. They can make a suggestion and I'll consider it, but if a woman is making demands on a first date then there´s definitely something wrong.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Over the past 6 years I’ve developed a firm no dinner first date rule. Early on I would bend the knee. I enforce my boundary now with ease. But I’m curious what’s the reason lots of women, maybe even 10-20% or more push for this?

the simple answer is they see you as a provider and just want a meal, or maybe they subconsciously want some assurance of investment early on. I don’t know. In hindsight, I seem to recall most of the women that insisted on this, and we would then go to dinner; they were typically needy and with red flags. So something is probably linked in that respect.

Thoughts? How do you enforce this boundary, if you do? I just say “I have a no first date dinner rule, don’t be lame” Or something similar.

Let's just put this very simply: If she is genuinely interested, it will not matter what you do. If she insists on dinner/fancy restaurant, she's got dark motives.

Learn from our experience, make her deserve that type of treatment. Entitled women think that if they just look pretty they have earned our time and financial resources.

Modern Man Advice

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I haven't had a dinner first date in almost ten years. I only take a girl out to dinner once we've already banged a few times and have seen each other for a little while.

I've literally never met a women who pushed for a dinner date, let alone for a first date; no idea where you're meeting them OP.

 

[Robert28]

I haven't had a dinner first date in almost ten years. I only take a girl out to dinner once we've already banged a few times and have seen each other for a little while.

I've literally never met a women who pushed for a dinner date, let alone for a first date; no idea where you're meeting them OP.

Online dating I would bet. They freaking demand it on there. Bunch of street walkers expecting the moon and stars after years of being Chad’s hoe. No thanks, find some other sucker.

 

[PRW63]

Over the past 6 years I’ve developed a firm no dinner first date rule. Early on I would bend the knee. I enforce my boundary now with ease. But I’m curious what’s the reason lots of women, maybe even 10-20% or more push for this?

the simple answer is they see you as a provider and just want a meal, or maybe they subconsciously want some assurance of investment early on. I don’t know. In hindsight, I seem to recall most of the women that insisted on this, and we would then go to dinner; they were typically needy and with red flags. So something is probably linked in that respect.

Thoughts? How do you enforce this boundary, if you do? I just say “I have a no first date dinner rule, don’t be lame” Or something similar.

Bunch of crap. Women don't dictate it needs to be a "dinner date". False narrative to say that is where it comes from.

I believe in dinner dates becaused they are easy, cheap (when you are smart about it), low investment, it is more intimate, less distractions, zero c*ck-blocking, avoids the "friend-vibe" (like Coffee Dates) that gets you in the friend zone, and puts the man in control of the when, the where, and the context (Frame) of the date. The men who whine about it are the selfish little boys who don't want to pay for a stupid hamburger, and justy want to get laid, and can't see past the little winky. If you can't bring yourself to pay for the stupid hamburger then stay home and play with the hot dog.