A Warning to Men Who Don't Understand Their Value

[bat soup]

Warning: This is a long one. This is a little summary of the break up process of my LTR of the past 1 year 3 months. In addition to this being a way to cope for me by writing it out without every detail, this is for all the men who have hope for a certain girl, get emotionally attached to someone, and give their all to someone even when there is a huge difference in value between the two people, and then get trapped into something ugly.

This starts off about a year and a half ago when I got my Associate's degree. I had a strong mindset and a lot of self respect for myself. I was talking to multiple woman. I was applying to jobs and was looking for references. I added a middle age female co-worker on facebook and sent her a message asking if I could use her as a reference. She agreed enthusiastically and messaged me right after if she could set me up on a date with her daughter. She proceeded to send me multiple pictures. I said "sure" and didn't think much of it until she messaged me 3 weeks later again and tried to set me up more aggressively this time. I ended up going on 1 date with her and thought she was cute but wasn't impressed and didn't call her back as she appeared to have a lot of baggage. For reference, here is a summary of us (most of this I had an idea of in the beginning, but got to understand more as time went by.

-I'm about to turn 24, she's about to turn 29.
-I'm working on my Master's right now, she has no education.
-She's American, I'm European.
-She's in debt, I have a lot of money saved up.
-I have a great support group, she doesn't have friends and mostly mentions negative things about friends or co-workers she has had (It took over a year for me to get her to see an old friend of hers)
-She's very cute but friends and family have told me that I'm way above her in terms of looks.
-She smoked weed every day, I don't smoke.
-She has bipolar, I have a history of anger management problems.
-She takes anti-depressants, I don't take meds.
-Her parents are still married but sleep around on the side.
-Had an 8 year LTR with a guy who she got engaged to and then cheated on him (her excuse was he stopped paying attention to her after getting engaged with her).
-She's been with around 30 people in a span of 3 years.
-Been with plenty of women.
-She's been "r***d" multiple times (found out that besides trauma by females when she was younger, the rest of the scenarios were from partners at the time and one date that ended up having multiple people involved).
-Multiple threesomes (multiple with one of her r*** abusers)

After contacting me a month later, she offered me to come to her place to have s3x. After this happened, she offered me a threesome, to which I refused and started ignoring her. She continued messaging me, however, so I continued having s3x with her a couple times a week. She behaved so well during the first 6 months or so and during this time, it turned from having an f buddy, to having someone to talk to with a pretty awesome personality (when understanding redpill, you understand that when they're interested in you, they will do anything to get along with you. Examples of all the changes she made with me; She went from hardcore liberal to ultra conservative, she stopped smoking weed completely, she started going to school, she started cooking for me). After about 8 months, I wanted to move out and she wanted to move out with me, I agreed if she paid half. After moving in, We started having little fights here and there that occurred once or twice a week. Over time the fights increased and got worse. A little after moving in, I wanted out after she came back from the Dr with an increase in her antidepressant dose and she threatened suicide afterwards. Her family got involved and it got pretty ugly. I stayed to make sure she was okay. After this, I continually tried to go on dates with her and when things were good, they were great. But over time, the cooking decreased, the cleanliness of the apartment decreased (I cleaned multiple times but she would get upset and say that she wanted to do it her way), I felt like I was spending less time with my buddies and family, that I was going less to the gym, and she would get easily upset over the most stupid things and get her mother involved. Last month, we were getting ready for a boating trip with buddies and she still wasn't ready from 10am-3pm. Things escalated and I told her I'd go myself but she threatened to break up with me. I called my buddies and told them that I wouldn't make it and she she started berating me and they heard, to which she got embarrassed. A day later, my buddies advised me to finish it with her. I left the apartment and she threatened suicide once again. She sent a terrible terrible accusation to my mother about me to which my mother never wanted to see her again. Her mom wanted me to call her to check up on her so I did and she said she wanted me to be with her and that she doesn't see life past me. Me seeing her turned into one more chance for her. A couple days ago, we got into another fight after I told her that my mom invited me over for dinner. She told me that she doesn't like my mom and that she didn't want me to see her. After this, I parked by the nearest store and told her that I'm being isolated and that I'm breaking up with her. When we got to the apartment, she deactivated my phone as it was under her plan and she called her mom to pick her up. I got in her way to try and get her to reactivate the phone but she didn't and left. Afterwards, her and her mom accused me of being physically abusive towards her and toxic. The next day, they both pleaded that I stay with her and that she's worthy of being my bride (lol). I haven't budged. Yesterday night and this morning, she told me that she wants me to be with her and her mom tried to send pictures of past memories but I stuck what I wanted and today, she's nonstop texting me about how bad I've been to her and that if I truly loved her, I wouldn't have left. It went from me being a God send and the perfect man and the love of my life to being an abuser, toxic, using her, and the reason she's in debt. Slowly but surely, I am figuring out what to do with the phone and I am figuring out how to handle the lease properly. I am sad about the whole situation but super relieved, and it helps that I have an amazing support group around me. Obviously I haven't been perfect and when provoked, I have said extremely hurtful things that I regret and have tried to make up for (flowers, dates, apologies, etc.) But it takes 2 to tango and when someone always blames you for the fight and can't see their part in it/says they did nothing wrong, the communication will always have a weak foundation. I get along with most people in my life and have always handled arguments well.

Overall, I am thankful for all of it and am not resentful as I have learned a lot in the past year and a half that I will keep in mind and use for the rest of my life. I have a long way to go and I definitely grew as a man and will come out of it harder than I was before. I'm posting this to warn men who jump quickly for aggressively interested women (especially if they have a rocky past) and see the correlation and to not have hope for anything working out. Just have fun and leave (if you're even able to risk that). Giving someone your all when they are obviously not best for you because of some good times can turn ugly, can ruin your life, and can help you realize that they truly don't love you and even resent you for everything you tried to help them with. They only love you when it benefits them.

Give me her number. I want to set her up on a date with my worst enemy.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Warning: This is a long one. This is a little summary of the break up process of my LTR of the past 1 year 3 months. In addition to this being a way to cope for me by writing it out without every detail, this is for all the men who have hope for a certain girl, get emotionally attached to someone, and give their all to someone even when there is a huge difference in value between the two people, and then get trapped into something ugly.

This starts off about a year and a half ago when I got my Associate's degree. I had a strong mindset and a lot of self respect for myself. I was talking to multiple woman. I was applying to jobs and was looking for references. I added a middle age female co-worker on facebook and sent her a message asking if I could use her as a reference. She agreed enthusiastically and messaged me right after if she could set me up on a date with her daughter. She proceeded to send me multiple pictures. I said "sure" and didn't think much of it until she messaged me 3 weeks later again and tried to set me up more aggressively this time. I ended up going on 1 date with her and thought she was cute but wasn't impressed and didn't call her back as she appeared to have a lot of baggage. For reference, here is a summary of us (most of this I had an idea of in the beginning, but got to understand more as time went by.

-I'm about to turn 24, she's about to turn 29.
-I'm working on my Master's right now, she has no education.
-She's American, I'm European.
-She's in debt, I have a lot of money saved up.
-I have a great support group, she doesn't have friends and mostly mentions negative things about friends or co-workers she has had (It took over a year for me to get her to see an old friend of hers)
-She's very cute but friends and family have told me that I'm way above her in terms of looks.
-She smoked weed every day, I don't smoke.
-She has bipolar, I have a history of anger management problems.
-She takes anti-depressants, I don't take meds.
-Her parents are still married but sleep around on the side.
-Had an 8 year LTR with a guy who she got engaged to and then cheated on him (her excuse was he stopped paying attention to her after getting engaged with her).
-She's been with around 30 people in a span of 3 years.
-Been with plenty of women.
-She's been "r***d" multiple times (found out that besides trauma by females when she was younger, the rest of the scenarios were from partners at the time and one date that ended up having multiple people involved).
-Multiple threesomes (multiple with one of her r*** abusers)

After contacting me a month later, she offered me to come to her place to have s3x. After this happened, she offered me a threesome, to which I refused and started ignoring her. She continued messaging me, however, so I continued having s3x with her a couple times a week. She behaved so well during the first 6 months or so and during this time, it turned from having an f buddy, to having someone to talk to with a pretty awesome personality (when understanding redpill, you understand that when they're interested in you, they will do anything to get along with you. Examples of all the changes she made with me; She went from hardcore liberal to ultra conservative, she stopped smoking weed completely, she started going to school, she started cooking for me). After about 8 months, I wanted to move out and she wanted to move out with me, I agreed if she paid half. After moving in, We started having little fights here and there that occurred once or twice a week. Over time the fights increased and got worse. A little after moving in, I wanted out after she came back from the Dr with an increase in her antidepressant dose and she threatened suicide afterwards. Her family got involved and it got pretty ugly. I stayed to make sure she was okay. After this, I continually tried to go on dates with her and when things were good, they were great. But over time, the cooking decreased, the cleanliness of the apartment decreased (I cleaned multiple times but she would get upset and say that she wanted to do it her way), I felt like I was spending less time with my buddies and family, that I was going less to the gym, and she would get easily upset over the most stupid things and get her mother involved. Last month, we were getting ready for a boating trip with buddies and she still wasn't ready from 10am-3pm. Things escalated and I told her I'd go myself but she threatened to break up with me. I called my buddies and told them that I wouldn't make it and she she started berating me and they heard, to which she got embarrassed. A day later, my buddies advised me to finish it with her. I left the apartment and she threatened suicide once again. She sent a terrible terrible accusation to my mother about me to which my mother never wanted to see her again. Her mom wanted me to call her to check up on her so I did and she said she wanted me to be with her and that she doesn't see life past me. Me seeing her turned into one more chance for her. A couple days ago, we got into another fight after I told her that my mom invited me over for dinner. She told me that she doesn't like my mom and that she didn't want me to see her. After this, I parked by the nearest store and told her that I'm being isolated and that I'm breaking up with her. When we got to the apartment, she deactivated my phone as it was under her plan and she called her mom to pick her up. I got in her way to try and get her to reactivate the phone but she didn't and left. Afterwards, her and her mom accused me of being physically abusive towards her and toxic. The next day, they both pleaded that I stay with her and that she's worthy of being my bride (lol). I haven't budged. Yesterday night and this morning, she told me that she wants me to be with her and her mom tried to send pictures of past memories but I stuck what I wanted and today, she's nonstop texting me about how bad I've been to her and that if I truly loved her, I wouldn't have left. It went from me being a God send and the perfect man and the love of my life to being an abuser, toxic, using her, and the reason she's in debt. Slowly but surely, I am figuring out what to do with the phone and I am figuring out how to handle the lease properly. I am sad about the whole situation but super relieved, and it helps that I have an amazing support group around me. Obviously I haven't been perfect and when provoked, I have said extremely hurtful things that I regret and have tried to make up for (flowers, dates, apologies, etc.) But it takes 2 to tango and when someone always blames you for the fight and can't see their part in it/says they did nothing wrong, the communication will always have a weak foundation. I get along with most people in my life and have always handled arguments well.

Overall, I am thankful for all of it and am not resentful as I have learned a lot in the past year and a half that I will keep in mind and use for the rest of my life. I have a long way to go and I definitely grew as a man and will come out of it harder than I was before. I'm posting this to warn men who jump quickly for aggressively interested women (especially if they have a rocky past) and see the correlation and to not have hope for anything working out. Just have fun and leave (if you're even able to risk that). Giving someone your all when they are obviously not best for you because of some good times can turn ugly, can ruin your life, and can help you realize that they truly don't love you and even resent you for everything you tried to help them with. They only love you when it benefits them.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

exactly. that's why I called out that specific. if she is STARTING small arguments, it's time to either next her or do an inventory on the environment and figure it out. no value in talking or interviewing her or engaging in any fight, she can be managed only indirectly by managing the environment. Your right, definitely should never ever give in to keep the peace.

It is impossible to win a direct fight with a woman. No logic or arguing or being tuff will win. The only way to win.. is indirect together with resolve. The problem is that she is the one that is the judge; no matter if your right or wrong she can simply call herself the winner and you a loser. As long as she is the judge. To win, simply do not obey her decisions and do not accept her as a judge. At the same time manage the environment and ensure others she deals with knows who you are and what you are such that they really would rather be your friend than a competitor.

75% of the tuff love advice will help achieve exactly that.

Often if we just walk away (and really that is the best sometimes or often) the same problems will come next time and the time after that.

This is all great advice. I would disagree partially with this though:

She is only argues with you, because she is losing respect or has lost respect for you, therefore also losing attraction.

Why? Because you didn't check her or walk away the moment she stepped out of line.

My personal opinion is that the above is true probably 90% of the time with most men (because most men won't draw boundaries and won't dare disagree with the woman or be willing to walk away), I learned in my last relationship that even a woman who is highly attracted to you and has respect for you can still argue with you non-stop. In the case of my ex, it was due to fear and anxiety of me abandoning her (which was all internal to her - I never gave her reason to be afraid other than being a valuable guy and also demonstrating that I was willing to walk away from the relationship if she violated my boundaries). I never caved to her demands, I set boundaries, I listened to what she had to say on any specific topic ONCE, then told her how I felt about it and what I was or was not willing to do (and I based this on what *I* thought was right not what she thought was right), and any further attempt to argue with me or fight about it or bring it up again would be responded to by my saying, "Listen, I've heard what you have to say. I understand how you feel. I've also told you how I feel and no amount of arguing about this is going to change that so I'm not going to discuss this topic with you again. If you continue bringing it up then I'm going to ask you to leave." I walked away from her often as a result of her not accepting that, and also when she was extremely emotional and being disrespectful and unable to have a calm adult conversation. From my experience, this is the only way to "win" a fight with a woman, but I'm open to additional opinions. Unfortunately she kept coming back and apologizing and saying whatever she need to say to get me to take her back (up to and including saying that she was wrong - but that would only last until I took her back and then shortly after she'd try digging up the topics again).

Some women can't be managed. No matter what you do or how perfectly you operate, they will keep starting fights. The ONLY solution to these kinds of women is to next them and NOT take them back. I do still believe it's ok to take a woman back once after you next her the first time, assuming you did it early and quickly in response to bad behavior - because if you don't next her, she will have no idea if you are bluffing or not when you set your boundaries. But once you've communicated this to her by breaking things off with her once, there is no point in proving it again and again and again.

 

[dude99]

Warning: This is a long one. This is a little summary of the break up process of my LTR of the past 1 year 3 months. In addition to this being a way to cope for me by writing it out without every detail, this is for all the men who have hope for a certain girl, get emotionally attached to someone, and give their all to someone even when there is a huge difference in value between the two people, and then get trapped into something ugly.

This starts off about a year and a half ago when I got my Associate's degree. I had a strong mindset and a lot of self respect for myself. I was talking to multiple woman. I was applying to jobs and was looking for references. I added a middle age female co-worker on facebook and sent her a message asking if I could use her as a reference. She agreed enthusiastically and messaged me right after if she could set me up on a date with her daughter. She proceeded to send me multiple pictures. I said "sure" and didn't think much of it until she messaged me 3 weeks later again and tried to set me up more aggressively this time. I ended up going on 1 date with her and thought she was cute but wasn't impressed and didn't call her back as she appeared to have a lot of baggage. For reference, here is a summary of us (most of this I had an idea of in the beginning, but got to understand more as time went by.

-I'm about to turn 24, she's about to turn 29.
-I'm working on my Master's right now, she has no education.
-She's American, I'm European.
-She's in debt, I have a lot of money saved up.
-I have a great support group, she doesn't have friends and mostly mentions negative things about friends or co-workers she has had (It took over a year for me to get her to see an old friend of hers)
-She's very cute but friends and family have told me that I'm way above her in terms of looks.
-She smoked weed every day, I don't smoke.
-She has bipolar, I have a history of anger management problems.
-She takes anti-depressants, I don't take meds.
-Her parents are still married but sleep around on the side.
-Had an 8 year LTR with a guy who she got engaged to and then cheated on him (her excuse was he stopped paying attention to her after getting engaged with her).
-She's been with around 30 people in a span of 3 years.
-Been with plenty of women.
-She's been "r***d" multiple times (found out that besides trauma by females when she was younger, the rest of the scenarios were from partners at the time and one date that ended up having multiple people involved).
-Multiple threesomes (multiple with one of her r*** abusers)

After contacting me a month later, she offered me to come to her place to have s3x. After this happened, she offered me a threesome, to which I refused and started ignoring her. She continued messaging me, however, so I continued having s3x with her a couple times a week. She behaved so well during the first 6 months or so and during this time, it turned from having an f buddy, to having someone to talk to with a pretty awesome personality (when understanding redpill, you understand that when they're interested in you, they will do anything to get along with you. Examples of all the changes she made with me; She went from hardcore liberal to ultra conservative, she stopped smoking weed completely, she started going to school, she started cooking for me). After about 8 months, I wanted to move out and she wanted to move out with me, I agreed if she paid half. After moving in, We started having little fights here and there that occurred once or twice a week. Over time the fights increased and got worse. A little after moving in, I wanted out after she came back from the Dr with an increase in her antidepressant dose and she threatened suicide afterwards. Her family got involved and it got pretty ugly. I stayed to make sure she was okay. After this, I continually tried to go on dates with her and when things were good, they were great. But over time, the cooking decreased, the cleanliness of the apartment decreased (I cleaned multiple times but she would get upset and say that she wanted to do it her way), I felt like I was spending less time with my buddies and family, that I was going less to the gym, and she would get easily upset over the most stupid things and get her mother involved. Last month, we were getting ready for a boating trip with buddies and she still wasn't ready from 10am-3pm. Things escalated and I told her I'd go myself but she threatened to break up with me. I called my buddies and told them that I wouldn't make it and she she started berating me and they heard, to which she got embarrassed. A day later, my buddies advised me to finish it with her. I left the apartment and she threatened suicide once again. She sent a terrible terrible accusation to my mother about me to which my mother never wanted to see her again. Her mom wanted me to call her to check up on her so I did and she said she wanted me to be with her and that she doesn't see life past me. Me seeing her turned into one more chance for her. A couple days ago, we got into another fight after I told her that my mom invited me over for dinner. She told me that she doesn't like my mom and that she didn't want me to see her. After this, I parked by the nearest store and told her that I'm being isolated and that I'm breaking up with her. When we got to the apartment, she deactivated my phone as it was under her plan and she called her mom to pick her up. I got in her way to try and get her to reactivate the phone but she didn't and left. Afterwards, her and her mom accused me of being physically abusive towards her and toxic. The next day, they both pleaded that I stay with her and that she's worthy of being my bride (lol). I haven't budged. Yesterday night and this morning, she told me that she wants me to be with her and her mom tried to send pictures of past memories but I stuck what I wanted and today, she's nonstop texting me about how bad I've been to her and that if I truly loved her, I wouldn't have left. It went from me being a God send and the perfect man and the love of my life to being an abuser, toxic, using her, and the reason she's in debt. Slowly but surely, I am figuring out what to do with the phone and I am figuring out how to handle the lease properly. I am sad about the whole situation but super relieved, and it helps that I have an amazing support group around me. Obviously I haven't been perfect and when provoked, I have said extremely hurtful things that I regret and have tried to make up for (flowers, dates, apologies, etc.) But it takes 2 to tango and when someone always blames you for the fight and can't see their part in it/says they did nothing wrong, the communication will always have a weak foundation. I get along with most people in my life and have always handled arguments well.

Overall, I am thankful for all of it and am not resentful as I have learned a lot in the past year and a half that I will keep in mind and use for the rest of my life. I have a long way to go and I definitely grew as a man and will come out of it harder than I was before. I'm posting this to warn men who jump quickly for aggressively interested women (especially if they have a rocky past) and see the correlation and to not have hope for anything working out. Just have fun and leave (if you're even able to risk that). Giving someone your all when they are obviously not best for you because of some good times can turn ugly, can ruin your life, and can help you realize that they truly don't love you and even resent you for everything you tried to help them with. They only love you when it benefits them.

The instant you found out she was bipolar and on meds you should have nexted. That instant.

No fairy tale story ever began with " she was single at 29, bi-polar on meds to regulate her moods but she knew her knight would come."

Any cluster b personality is an immediate next.

 

[soulforge]

The thing is we know these red flags but we choose to ignore them if the woman is hot. The hotter a woman is the more red flags we tolerate.

What you said is a perfect description of my ex, i knew from the start she would be trouble but i chose to ignore it and regret it 6 months later when we broke up.

Ignoring red flags is BETA THIRST

 

[eli77]

This is the average 30 year old single woman today in my opinion

I would say 40

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Your to blame for this outcome!

This girl had more red flags, than a red flags production factory & you pretty much wifed her up? Really!

This one was nothing more than a few bangs, maybe a threesome or two, then move the fuk on!

Honestly man, I see dudes get into relationships with EXTREMELY broken & damaged woman.. Then make a thread on SS on how they didn't see it coming lol

lol

 

[soulforge]

I still can't get over how many red flags this hoe had.. Multiple grapes? Graped by 2-3 dudes at a time & you had her cooking for you... Holy fukin hell.. Talk about being your own worst enemy!!

Bipolar & on Meds, smokes weed & knee deep in debt.

Seriously dude.. What does it have to take for you guys to rule a chick out? Anything less than a serial killer sounds like a wife material to some guys on here.

 

[metalwater]

This is all great advice. I would disagree partially with this though:


My personal opinion is that the above is true probably 90% of the time with most men (because most men won't draw boundaries and won't dare disagree with the woman or be willing to walk away), I learned in my last relationship that even a woman who is highly attracted to you and has respect for you can still argue with you non-stop. In the case of my ex, it was due to fear and anxiety of me abandoning her (which was all internal to her - I never gave her reason to be afraid other than being a valuable guy and also demonstrating that I was willing to walk away from the relationship if she violated my boundaries). I never caved to her demands, I set boundaries, I listened to what she had to say on any specific topic ONCE, then told her how I felt about it and what I was or was not willing to do (and I based this on what *I* thought was right not what she thought was right), and any further attempt to argue with me or fight about it or bring it up again would be responded to by my saying, "Listen, I've heard what you have to say. I understand how you feel. I've also told you how I feel and no amount of arguing about this is going to change that so I'm not going to discuss this topic with you again. If you continue bringing it up then I'm going to ask you to leave." I walked away from her often as a result of her not accepting that, and also when she was extremely emotional and being disrespectful and unable to have a calm adult conversation. From my experience, this is the only way to "win" a fight with a woman, but I'm open to additional opinions. Unfortunately she kept coming back and apologizing and saying whatever she need to say to get me to take her back (up to and including saying that she was wrong - but that would only last until I took her back and then shortly after she'd try digging up the topics again).

Some women can't be managed. No matter what you do or how perfectly you operate, they will keep starting fights. The ONLY solution to these kinds of women is to next them and NOT take them back. I do still believe it's ok to take a woman back once after you next her the first time, assuming you did it early and quickly in response to bad behavior - because if you don't next her, she will have no idea if you are bluffing or not when you set your boundaries. But once you've communicated this to her by breaking things off with her once, there is no point in proving it again and again and again.

you're on the right path.

ever notice how a woman can stop the emotional bull when a third person arrives. I agree completely with you about being firm and never back down unless you are really really wrong...

with resolve, you can get the last word up until a point that she really doesn't care. it's not really winning if she does it again and again. when we continue to need to walk away from her because she is being difficult we are no winning, also she is not winning in that case.

she sees the world differently than us. the world (her environment) is a collection of different video games. when she is bored with one she will try another. not talking about other men, just anything to get some stimuli. she literally runs on feelings.

when we have to continue to walk away and try to win an argument(s) it means two things. one she is bored and two something is going on in the environment that she thinks would provide stimulus or is, probably something we either don't want or are not interested in. So to manage her must be firm like your doing, but you might have found that it was tiring to continue to need to do it. The answer is to investigate her world closer and see what is the issue appears to be. Not just one possibility but many things are possible, and yes often it's another dude but not always. It might be another woman that is getting more attention than her.

too many guys and girls tell, just pull away be aloof and if she likes you she will shape up. Not true, lots of bright shiny things in her world will get her attention. Any that provides more stimulation to her feelings than we do will cause her to ***** at us.

If you are firm with her and manage the environment she will not cause you trouble and instead will default to the female behavior of helping.

not sure I can really explain, but think of a typical subdivision of houses. usually, the best investment is the smallest one. however, the best one for peace in the family with a woman is the largest one. that leave us a decision, is it more important to get money or for the woman to behave. if you have the smallest house the woman will for sure want to know exactly what the husband of the woman living in the larger house does and often all about him. she never cares about the small one. not just houses; all topics. do not leave her to spend a lot of time with any other guy and not a lot of time in a more exciting space. you can make your space more exciting or you can try to make adjustments to her world. lots of ways to do it. you can not directly adjust her only arrange what input she gets.

it's not just her, AWALT. if we think we will find a woman that can be trusted we will never be satisfied as it does not exist. They/she can not even trust herself. We have to take care of ours just like anything else of ours. If you have a swamp on your property, you don't argue with it you just go drain it. You don't let her deal with a persistent guy, she can't. You don't let her be minimized by her environment, we alter it or move her away either choice is ok.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I still can't get over how many red flags this hoe had.. Multiple grapes? Graped by 2-3 dudes at a time & you had her cooking for you... Holy fukin hell.. Talk about being your own worst enemy!!

Bipolar & on Meds, smokes weed & knee deep in debt.

Seriously dude.. What does it have to take for you guys to rule a chick out? Anything less than a serial killer sounds like a wife material to some guys on here.

OP probably just wanted some easy s*x at first, but became attached over time. It happens to all of us, these women suck you in since they treat you like a king at the start.

You're getting s*x with a hot woman and she treats you like a king, this is why they say to never stick your d*ck in crazy.

 

[dude99]

I still can't get over how many red flags this hoe had.. Multiple grapes? Graped by 2-3 dudes at a time & you had her cooking for you... Holy fukin hell.. Talk about being your own worst enemy!!

Bipolar & on Meds, smokes weed & knee deep in debt.

Seriously dude.. What does it have to take for you guys to rule a chick out? Anything less than a serial killer sounds like a wife material to some guys on here.

What is more interesting is how all cluster b's use the grape accusation as a victim card, and it turns out most of them are lying.

Like all cluster b's have the same tools in the tool box

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

OP probably just wanted some easy s*x at first, but became attached over time. It happens to all of us, these women suck you in since they treat you like a king at the start.

You're getting s*x with a hot woman and she treats you like a king, this is why they say to never stick your d*ck in crazy.

this is why pump and dump is literally the stupidest thing a man can ever do because the dumping NEVER happens

 

[Blacksheep]

her excuse was he stopped paying attention to her after getting engaged with her

It's like a pattern script all women use to justify her cheating behavior. It's better than take responsibility for her behaviors.

Also, if you're dating a woman who say that she broke up with her ex because he didn't give her attention or something similar... Be careful.

 

[Blacksheep]

this is why pump and dump is literally the stupidest thing a man can ever do because the dumping NEVER happens

It can happen, but if you didn't have many past experiences and a lot of self-reflection on those experiences, a guy could easily fall into those traps. Then it's not a wise thing to get involved with those kind of women. But how can you spot that without knowledge? Either you have to live and learn or learn with other guys experiences (which is the best one, but sometimes we only learn by living it)

It took me some years to become more malicious about those things and I'm grateful that I found this forum to open my eyes.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It can happen, but if you didn't have many past experiences and a lot of self-reflection on those experiences, a guy could easily fall into those traps. Then it's not a wise thing to get involved with those kind of women. But how can you spot that without knowledge? Either you have to live and learn or learn with other guys experiences (which is the best one, but sometimes we only learn by living it)

It took me some years to become more malicious about those things and I'm grateful that I found this forum to open my eyes.

The dumping happens after you have faced the consequences and made a topic on Sosuave, not after the first night in bed

 

[TheCharmingGuy]

Warning: This is a long one. This is a little summary of the break up process of my LTR of the past 1 year 3 months. In addition to this being a way to cope for me by writing it out without every detail, this is for all the men who have hope for a certain girl, get emotionally attached to someone, and give their all to someone even when there is a huge difference in value between the two people, and then get trapped into something ugly.

This starts off about a year and a half ago when I got my Associate's degree. I had a strong mindset and a lot of self respect for myself. I was talking to multiple woman. I was applying to jobs and was looking for references. I added a middle age female co-worker on facebook and sent her a message asking if I could use her as a reference. She agreed enthusiastically and messaged me right after if she could set me up on a date with her daughter. She proceeded to send me multiple pictures. I said "sure" and didn't think much of it until she messaged me 3 weeks later again and tried to set me up more aggressively this time. I ended up going on 1 date with her and thought she was cute but wasn't impressed and didn't call her back as she appeared to have a lot of baggage. For reference, here is a summary of us (most of this I had an idea of in the beginning, but got to understand more as time went by.

-I'm about to turn 24, she's about to turn 29.
-I'm working on my Master's right now, she has no education.
-She's American, I'm European.
-She's in debt, I have a lot of money saved up.
-I have a great support group, she doesn't have friends and mostly mentions negative things about friends or co-workers she has had (It took over a year for me to get her to see an old friend of hers)
-She's very cute but friends and family have told me that I'm way above her in terms of looks.
-She smoked weed every day, I don't smoke.
-She has bipolar, I have a history of anger management problems.
-She takes anti-depressants, I don't take meds.
-Her parents are still married but sleep around on the side.
-Had an 8 year LTR with a guy who she got engaged to and then cheated on him (her excuse was he stopped paying attention to her after getting engaged with her).
-She's been with around 30 people in a span of 3 years.
-Been with plenty of women.
-She's been "r***d" multiple times (found out that besides trauma by females when she was younger, the rest of the scenarios were from partners at the time and one date that ended up having multiple people involved).
-Multiple threesomes (multiple with one of her r*** abusers)

After contacting me a month later, she offered me to come to her place to have s3x. After this happened, she offered me a threesome, to which I refused and started ignoring her. She continued messaging me, however, so I continued having s3x with her a couple times a week. She behaved so well during the first 6 months or so and during this time, it turned from having an f buddy, to having someone to talk to with a pretty awesome personality (when understanding redpill, you understand that when they're interested in you, they will do anything to get along with you. Examples of all the changes she made with me; She went from hardcore liberal to ultra conservative, she stopped smoking weed completely, she started going to school, she started cooking for me). After about 8 months, I wanted to move out and she wanted to move out with me, I agreed if she paid half. After moving in, We started having little fights here and there that occurred once or twice a week. Over time the fights increased and got worse. A little after moving in, I wanted out after she came back from the Dr with an increase in her antidepressant dose and she threatened suicide afterwards. Her family got involved and it got pretty ugly. I stayed to make sure she was okay. After this, I continually tried to go on dates with her and when things were good, they were great. But over time, the cooking decreased, the cleanliness of the apartment decreased (I cleaned multiple times but she would get upset and say that she wanted to do it her way), I felt like I was spending less time with my buddies and family, that I was going less to the gym, and she would get easily upset over the most stupid things and get her mother involved. Last month, we were getting ready for a boating trip with buddies and she still wasn't ready from 10am-3pm. Things escalated and I told her I'd go myself but she threatened to break up with me. I called my buddies and told them that I wouldn't make it and she she started berating me and they heard, to which she got embarrassed. A day later, my buddies advised me to finish it with her. I left the apartment and she threatened suicide once again. She sent a terrible terrible accusation to my mother about me to which my mother never wanted to see her again. Her mom wanted me to call her to check up on her so I did and she said she wanted me to be with her and that she doesn't see life past me. Me seeing her turned into one more chance for her. A couple days ago, we got into another fight after I told her that my mom invited me over for dinner. She told me that she doesn't like my mom and that she didn't want me to see her. After this, I parked by the nearest store and told her that I'm being isolated and that I'm breaking up with her. When we got to the apartment, she deactivated my phone as it was under her plan and she called her mom to pick her up. I got in her way to try and get her to reactivate the phone but she didn't and left. Afterwards, her and her mom accused me of being physically abusive towards her and toxic. The next day, they both pleaded that I stay with her and that she's worthy of being my bride (lol). I haven't budged. Yesterday night and this morning, she told me that she wants me to be with her and her mom tried to send pictures of past memories but I stuck what I wanted and today, she's nonstop texting me about how bad I've been to her and that if I truly loved her, I wouldn't have left. It went from me being a God send and the perfect man and the love of my life to being an abuser, toxic, using her, and the reason she's in debt. Slowly but surely, I am figuring out what to do with the phone and I am figuring out how to handle the lease properly. I am sad about the whole situation but super relieved, and it helps that I have an amazing support group around me. Obviously I haven't been perfect and when provoked, I have said extremely hurtful things that I regret and have tried to make up for (flowers, dates, apologies, etc.) But it takes 2 to tango and when someone always blames you for the fight and can't see their part in it/says they did nothing wrong, the communication will always have a weak foundation. I get along with most people in my life and have always handled arguments well.

Overall, I am thankful for all of it and am not resentful as I have learned a lot in the past year and a half that I will keep in mind and use for the rest of my life. I have a long way to go and I definitely grew as a man and will come out of it harder than I was before. I'm posting this to warn men who jump quickly for aggressively interested women (especially if they have a rocky past) and see the correlation and to not have hope for anything working out. Just have fun and leave (if you're even able to risk that). Giving someone your all when they are obviously not best for you because of some good times can turn ugly, can ruin your life, and can help you realize that they truly don't love you and even resent you for everything you tried to help them with. They only love you when it benefits them.

Have you ever seen the movie “The Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Stiller? It’s about this guy who gets married to this girl six weeks after meeting her, and then on their honeymoon he finds out she’s a total psycho.

 

[CBear]

Have you ever seen the movie “The Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Stiller? It’s about this guy who gets married to this girl six weeks after meeting her, and then on their honeymoon he finds out she’s a total psycho.

No, I'll have to check it out.
This one is definitely full on psycho and trying to ruin my life. She is threatening to sue me. Might have to get an order of protection or restraining order. Her mother seems to be the real villain in all of this, however.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

No, I'll have to check it out.
This one is definitely full on psycho and trying to ruin my life. She is threatening to sue me. Might have to get an order of protection or restraining order. Her mother seems to be the real villain in all of this, however.

My advice on that - it will likely blow over and she will finally fade away and find a new target, if and only if you go completely no contact. And I mean zero. No responses via e-mail, text, social media, nothing. This includes responses to her family. Total silence. Expect the threats and tantrums to escalate in a desperate attempt for her to get you to respond but responding in ANY way is the worst thing you can do, trust me. I've been through this. ZERO contact/responses. If she shows up at your place, don't answer the door - call the police and have her escorted from the premises. I've even had to do that before.

 

[OldComeBacker]

If she is hot enough let’s not act like we wouldn’t make the same mistake. Literally have banged multiple women I shouldn’t have just because they were hot. I’ll be the first to admit it’s dumb.

Depends. I've turned down plenty of "hot" women because I could see it wasn't worth it. made a couple mistakes like OP (passed at first but something made me give her a chance), though.

 

[Barrister]

Depends. I've turned down plenty of "hot" women because I could see it wasn't worth it. made a couple mistakes like OP (passed at first but something made me give her a chance), though.

Right - I have turned down good looking women before because I knew the drama that ensued wouldn’t be worth it. I’ve also slept with women who I shouldn’t have though simply because of how attractive they were - which was my original point.