The importance of advancing to intimacy as soon as possible or....?

[jamesfromhouston]

As for kissing, I’ve also noticed that if you kiss a girl in a date but don’t fvck her or get sexual (bj, fingering) she will ghost as well because ASD creeps in

I can second this. This is something I've been thinking about lately. I pretty much kiss on all of my first dates, but many of them turn flakey after the kiss, and have been hard to ask out.

On the other hand, I've also gone for lays on date 3 usually. (Some on date 2). Usually, the girls become a bit flakey after the lays. Although it could just be me because, I tend to take them to a hotel for the lay. I don't like having girls over my place that I am just casually laying. So, ASD might be super high after that.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I can second this. This is something I've been thinking about lately. I pretty much kiss on all of my first dates, but many of them turn flakey after the kiss, and have been hard to ask out.

On the other hand, I've also gone for lays on date 3 usually. (Some on date 2). Usually, the girls become a bit flakey after the lays. Although it could just be me because, I tend to take them to a hotel for the lay. I don't like having girls over my place that I am just casually laying. So, ASD might be super high after that.

Have you tried going to the girls’ place for the lay?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Have you tried going to the girls’ place for the lay?

Oh god. I would love that. These hotels are expensive. But here's my problem. In the past where I have gone to certain girl's place, they've literally asked me to, at some point in the date/interaction. Its been their invitation and thats great. Otherwise, for most girls, during the lead up to the first lay, when I am always leading, I have no idea how to ask whether we can go to her place without being weird. I tend to just book a hotel on the night itself, and after some drinks (somewhere close by or even at the hotel bars/lounges at times), without telling her where we are going I just take them to the hotel/room near the end of the night. They usually follow my lead.

If you (or anyone) could offer some of their approach to getting yourself at the girls place on first lay, let me know.

I personally don't know how to do it smoothly without coming off as a creep for inviting myself over to ****.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Interesting, any ideas on why that is? Why is it sex that makes her head over heals? What about the rest of the physicals intimacy before sex, can that get her head over heals to or does it generally only get there once they are penetrated? I kinda wonder why and how that works.

Because it triggers Oxytocin and other bonding chemicals plus puts you in a different category than most men in her life. Some women become very bonded to a man after sex and I think these category of women usually will try and delay sex until they are 100% sure they want to be with that guy.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Oh god. I would love that. These hotels are expensive. But here's my problem. In the past where I have gone to certain girl's place, they've literally asked me to, at some point in the date/interaction. Its been their invitation and thats great. Otherwise, for most girls, during the lead up to the first lay, when I am always leading, I have no idea how to ask whether we can go to her place without being weird. I tend to just book a hotel on the night itself, and after some drinks (somewhere close by or even at the hotel bars/lounges at times), without telling her where we are going I just take them to the hotel/room near the end of the night. They usually follow my lead.

If you (or anyone) could offer some of their approach to getting yourself at the girls place on first lay, let me know.

I personally don't know how to do it smoothly without coming off as a creep for inviting myself over to ****.

I normally just up front ask them if they have their own place. Most dont and then I sadly have to let them go, but when they do it’s easy enough to just be like “ok that works” and set a time

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I normally just up front ask them if they have their own place. Most dont and then I sadly have to let them go, but when they do it’s easy enough to just be like “ok that works” and set a time

Oh I meant, on the very, very first lay. Before I've ****ed them yet. For me the pattern has almost always been like.

Date 1/Date 2: Go for the kiss close. (Usually dinner/drinks, kiss/make out at end of date).

Date 3/Date 4: I **** them, at a hotel. (Usually dinner/drinks, I lead them to a room that I book, we ****)
*Again, the extra trouble just being that I want to avoid taking crazies or strangers to my home yet.

For most girls, after the initial first or second date, we've still not gone fully sexual yet or in a FWB arrangement to talk logistics of hook up.

So I am still trying to figure out a smooth way to invite myself over on the first lay.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Oh I meant, on the very, very first lay. Before I've ****ed them yet. For me the pattern has almost always been like.

Date 1/Date 2: Go for the kiss close. (Usually dinner/drinks, kiss/make out at end of date).

Date 3/Date 4: I **** them, at a hotel. (Usually dinner/drinks, I lead them to a room that I book, we ****)
*Again, the extra trouble just being that I want to avoid taking crazies or strangers to my home yet.

For most girls, after the initial first or second date, we've still not gone fully sexual yet or in a FWB arrangement to talk logistics of hook up.

So I am still trying to figure out a smooth way to invite myself over on the first lay.

Oh, well I normally fvck all my girls on the first date at their place so. I don’t know what else to say