How Popular Are Dating Apps: Swipe and Web?

westinlover

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I tried signing up for a couple of online dating sites but was flabbergasted at how time consuming and dull the process was. Add to that way too many ugly, fat girls in my local area. Most of the profiles of the prettier girls were inactive. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

With swipe apps, I was discouraged about posting personal info permanently on a dating site and then linking it all back to social media accounts. I am way too careful about privacy to use these apps seriously.
 

forcerecon01

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I'm on OKcupid and you are not alone in that there are too many fuglies.
 

westinlover

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I've done some dating through apps and websites. I got tired of being catfished. Lots of women were lying about their age, using out of date photos, using filters, etc.

When I weighed the results vs the amount of time I was investing, it didn't seem to make a lot of sense.
 

bat soup

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I tried signing up for a couple of online dating sites but was flabbergasted at how time consuming and dull the process was. Add to that way too many ugly, fat girls in my local area. Most of the profiles of the prettier girls were inactive. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

With swipe apps, I was discouraged about posting personal info permanently on a dating site and then linking it all back to social media accounts. I am way too careful about privacy to use these apps seriously.
An attractive woman that signs up to a dating website can expect 200 matches within a few hours.

Do you want to compete with that?
 

westinlover

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An attractive woman that signs up to a dating website can expect 200 matches within a few hours.

Do you want to compete with that?
This has to be distorting or even warping dating and societies to the breaking point. The only possible outcomes of dating becoming internet focused are

-huge disparities in SMV between women and men who eventually date (male 8's settling for 4's and 5's for easy dates and super happy to marry 6's)

-huge numbers of men completely left out of the dating game (a third of men? half of men in the future?!?)

This sh*t's gonna get weird real soon....
 

westinlover

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So the question is, considering how meager the results are for internet dating, why are so many men using them?
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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So the question is, considering how meager the results are for internet dating, why are so many men using them?
Great question, considering most dating apps boast around 65% of all users being men, on average, meaning you are more than likely speaking to a guy with a woman's picture up OR every woman is receiving hundreds of messages, but probably somewhere in the middle
 

westinlover

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Great question, considering most dating apps boast around 65% of all users being men, on average, meaning you are more than likely speaking to a guy with a woman's picture up OR every woman is receiving hundreds of messages, but probably somewhere in the middle
Clearly, app developers have cracked the code as to how to get a very significant percentage of men addicted to swipe apps. Seeing just one beautiful woman is a huge dopamine rush. Now, multiply that rush by 10 or 100, or even 1,000!

Basically, men get addicted to these swipe dating apps just like some get addicted to pornographic imagery. It has almost nothing to do with rational decision making and just about everything to do with soft porn addiction.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Clearly, app developers have cracked the code as to how to get a very significant percentage of men addicted to swipe apps. Seeing just one beautiful woman is a huge dopamine rush. Now, multiply that rush by 10 or 100, or even 1,000!

Basically, men get addicted to these swipe dating apps just like some get addicted to pornographic imagery. It has almost nothing to do with rational decision making and just about everything to do with soft porn addiction.
Studies show cities with higher wage gaps between men and women have higher populations of women with skimpy pics
 

SW15

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Basically, men get addicted to these swipe dating apps just like some get addicted to pornographic imagery. It has almost nothing to do with rational decision making and just about everything to do with soft porn addiction.
Yes, this is correct. There are co-morbidities here. Many men who can't get laid in real life, who are using swipe apps to attempt to get laid and failing, eventually end up wanking on the tube sites and OnlyFans. Gving up porn and mbate many years ago was one of the most difficult things I did. I also stopped using swipe apps too.

So the question is, considering how meager the results are for internet dating, why are so many men using them?
Cold approaching is quite difficult, especially cold approaching at non-bar venues. The pandemic has only made this more difficult.

It's even difficult when you're motivated by not having porn or mbate to fall back upon and are reaping the benefits of being extra horny.

This has to be distorting or even warping dating and societies to the breaking point. The only possible outcomes of dating becoming internet focused are

-huge disparities in SMV between women and men who eventually date (male 8's settling for 4's and 5's for easy dates and super happy to marry 6's)

-huge numbers of men completely left out of the dating game (a third of men? half of men in the future?!?)

This sh*t's gonna get weird real soon....
Male sexlessness rates were at all time highs in the couple of years prior to the pandemic and likely got worse since the start of the pandemic.
 

westinlover

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Add to that, cold approaches are being criminalized, or being stigmatized as creepy or thirsty.
 

bat soup

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So the question is, considering how meager the results are for internet dating, why are so many men using them?
Men want to get laid. Women, obviously (and despite what feminists will tell you) are significantly less interested in sex. This creates an imbalance, which leads to a vicious cycle of women making less and less effort whilst men make more and more.

Generally speaking, women have a totally passive strategy. Their game is limited to going out and doing whatever they wanted to do anyway, and either accepting or declining the offers they get. Of course, they can sway the odds by going to certain types of places (e.g. expensive places where rich men hang out). It's not as if they have to pay to get in or buy drinks for themselves most of the time, anyway.

Men, on the other hand, have to spend enormous amounts of time and energy to get laid. They have to compete with all of the other guys, put their reputation on the line by being the one to make a move (otherwise they'll get nothing), deal with women that are just out to use them and waste their time, etc.

So it would seem like a dating app like Tinder would solve all of men's problems. Unfortunately, the reality is that it just makes things worse. It seems to create some sort of feedback loop where women become even more entitled and arrogant and men become increasingly desperate - the end result is that men swipe right on everyone without even looking hoping to get a match, whilst women (even the horrendously ugly ones) swipe right on 0.5%. And the 0.5% are all the same small group of guys. Then the women get pissed of that these guys don't respond to them and that men don't read through hundreds of boring, low-effort and arrogant profiles that probably won't match anyway before swiping on them.

Then women go back to their totally passive strategy of just basically doing nothing and just accepting or rejecting men that approach them in real life.
 

Kotaix

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Women who need to resort to dating apps are usually undesireable. Hot women don't need it to meet men. If they're on it, they're usually just there for the validation and don't intend on dating anyone they meet thru it, or they have other problems like being a single mom.

Swipe apps are mostly crap. I've only met two women via those apps that were worth a damn and actually looked like their pics. The rest were a waste of time to talk to or date.
 

AttackFormation

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As bat soup explains somewhat, if dating in real life generally worked well for most men then men would not take to dating apps. We see this reflected in womens' behavior: most of them dont use dating apps, or at least dont use them with any seriousness, because they dont need to - so the apps are overwhelmingly male dominated.

"Arranged dating" is a good idea in principle to improve the state of irl dating, and the apps claim to perform this. But the predatory business models of for profit corporations means the apps give you a veneer of convenience, while really only exacerbating the problems that irl dating already has:

1 - Choice overload
2 - The illusion of options
(everyone flocks to the same small minority of people). No registry to see who is dating or talking to who (which there would naturally be in a smaller community like a tribe), magnifying the illusion of options
3 - Irl meetings are very rare. This means you dont experience the other person, which in tandem with #1 and #2, leads to a dehumanisation of other people (exacerbation of the difference between cold vs warm approaches). If you do meet up, there are no social consequences for poor behavior (no review system, not part of each others' social spheres)
4 - Chronic entitlement
5 - Validation abuse


As i alluded to in some of the points, you can find the precursors to all these problems in real life too, the more of a cold approach meat market the setting is. And the more that men as a whole would simply start spam cold approaching irl, the more these problems would be magnified there too. Arranged dating and the promotion of humility and reflection is the way around this, but modern western culture promotes narcissism instead and only has predatory for profit dating.
 
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bat soup

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View attachment 6883

Just gonna live it here
Yep. I imagine some countries are even worse.
View attachment 6883

Just gonna live it here
I'd imagine in conservative countries you could be looking at a 90% kok ratio. Add to that women's swiping habits of choosing the top 0.5% and you've got about a 1 in 2000 chance of getting a match with the average woman. Imagine what your chances are with the attractive ones.

In any case it looks like most of them are only there to promote their Instagram accounts.
 

SW15

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Women who need to resort to dating apps are usually undesireable. Hot women don't need it to meet men. If they're on it, they're usually just there for the validation and don't intend on dating anyone they meet thru it, or they have other problems like being a single mom.

Swipe apps are mostly crap. I've only met two women via those apps that were worth a damn and actually looked like their pics. The rest were a waste of time to talk to or date.
I was able to get dates with semi-desirable women on swipe apps. I was getting dates with 25-35 year old women whose looks I typically rated between 5.5 - 7. They were all childless women and mostly never married. There were many times I wanted a 2nd date but the woman flaked likely because she had an overinflated sense of self from having hundreds of options on the swipe app. I endured a lot of lost money and emotional trauma over being on swipe apps. I think it is better to do nothing than to be on swipe apps.

The ones who are there for the validation never show up on dates anyway.

I would occassionally see women that I would rate above a 7 on swipe apps but I rarely got a date with someone above a 7 from swipe apps.

Yes, the experience is mostly crap.

Men want to get laid. Women, obviously (and despite what feminists will tell you) are significantly less interested in sex. This creates an imbalance, which leads to a vicious cycle of women making less and less effort whilst men make more and more.
I applaud high sex drive women.

If solely the biological/chemical factors are considered, men want sex more than women. A low T guy has more T than even a high T woman. A guy with a good T reading is horny 24/7. A woman not on birth control might be able to get to 80% of that level for a few days a month near ovulation. Most women under 40 are on birth control so they aren't even replicating this.

Generally speaking, women have a totally passive strategy. Their game is limited to going out and doing whatever they wanted to do anyway, and either accepting or declining the offers they get. Of course, they can sway the odds by going to certain types of places (e.g. expensive places where rich men hang out). It's not as if they have to pay to get in or buy drinks for themselves most of the time, anyway.

Men, on the other hand, have to spend enormous amounts of time and energy to get laid. They have to compete with all of the other guys, put their reputation on the line by being the one to make a move (otherwise they'll get nothing), deal with women that are just out to use them and waste their time, etc.
This is all accurate. I have noticed within the last 10 years that women have gotten quite passive. I think dating websites and swipe apps made them more passive than they were in the past. Women who use swipe apps to get dates give off an aura of being apathetic. This will be evident on first dates. A woman who meets a man through her social circle will be much more into the interaction than a woman meeting a man from a swipe app. Cold approach can go either way but even those women are usually more into it than swipe app women. Swipe app women have hundreds of options. You're just another swinging penis in an ocean of penii for a woman using swipe apps. Now, if the woman is a swipe app user but you meet her through a cold approach, you might get a better experience. No woman gets cold approached as much as she gets right swiped on while using apps and receives messages on the apps. This also doesn't take into consideration the horn dog messages she receives in her DMs on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

I think women would have better outcomes if they went to more in-person events than just using swipe apps/social media. In 1990, a single woman in a larger metropolitan area had to go to bars, work on building her social circle/work her existing social circle contacts, and go to another in-person events to generate 10 prospects a month. Now, she sits on swipe apps and social media and has 300-500 prospects per month. A woman is going to present a different demeanor with 300-500 prospects a month.

So it would seem like a dating app like Tinder would solve all of men's problems. Unfortunately, the reality is that it just makes things worse. It seems to create some sort of feedback loop where women become even more entitled and arrogant and men become increasingly desperate - the end result is that men swipe right on everyone without even looking hoping to get a match, whilst women (even the horrendously ugly ones) swipe right on 0.5%. And the 0.5% are all the same small group of guys. Then the women get pissed of that these guys don't respond to them and that men don't read through hundreds of boring, low-effort and arrogant profiles that probably won't match anyway before swiping on them.

Then women go back to their totally passive strategy of just basically doing nothing and just accepting or rejecting men that approach them in real life.
In-person approaching is difficult, regardless of how strong your T levels are. Websites and later swipe apps were a response to how difficulties typically encountered in the bar scene. Websites and swipe apps did make it worse.
 

bat soup

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I was able to get dates with semi-desirable women on swipe apps. I was getting dates with 25-35 year old women whose looks I typically rated between 5.5 - 7. They were all childless women and mostly never married. There were many times I wanted a 2nd date but the woman flaked likely because she had an overinflated sense of self from having hundreds of options on the swipe app. I endured a lot of lost money and emotional trauma over being on swipe apps. I think it is better to do nothing than to be on swipe apps.

The ones who are there for the validation never show up on dates anyway.

I would occassionally see women that I would rate above a 7 on swipe apps but I rarely got a date with someone above a 7 from swipe apps.

Yes, the experience is mostly crap.



I applaud high sex drive women.

If solely the biological/chemical factors are considered, men want sex more than women. A low T guy has more T than even a high T woman. A guy with a good T reading is horny 24/7. A woman not on birth control might be able to get to 80% of that level for a few days a month near ovulation. Most women under 40 are on birth control so they aren't even replicating this.



This is all accurate. I have noticed within the last 10 years that women have gotten quite passive. I think dating websites and swipe apps made them more passive than they were in the past. Women who use swipe apps to get dates give off an aura of being apathetic. This will be evident on first dates. A woman who meets a man through her social circle will be much more into the interaction than a woman meeting a man from a swipe app. Cold approach can go either way but even those women are usually more into it than swipe app women. Swipe app women have hundreds of options. You're just another swinging penis in an ocean of penii for a woman using swipe apps. Now, if the woman is a swipe app user but you meet her through a cold approach, you might get a better experience. No woman gets cold approached as much as she gets right swiped on while using apps and receives messages on the apps. This also doesn't take into consideration the horn dog messages she receives in her DMs on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

I think women would have better outcomes if they went to more in-person events than just using swipe apps/social media. In 1990, a single woman in a larger metropolitan area had to go to bars, work on building her social circle/work her existing social circle contacts, and go to another in-person events to generate 10 prospects a month. Now, she sits on swipe apps and social media and has 300-500 prospects per month. A woman is going to present a different demeanor with 300-500 prospects a month.



In-person approaching is difficult, regardless of how strong your T levels are. Websites and later swipe apps were a response to how difficulties typically encountered in the bar scene. Websites and swipe apps did make it worse.
I agree with you that the experience with these apps is generally terrible. Apparently, if you get model-level pictures and make a huge effort to design the perfect bio (dressing up in suits, carefully taking pictures at expensive-looking locations, etc), you might be able to get somewhere near the top of the barrel of crabs and do ok. But again, it requires a huge amount of effort and financial investment for mediocre or zero results. Most people don't want to put even more effort into something that isn't productive. That seems like throwing good money after bad. Normally you'd want to see a result in order to do more of what works.

I think women are becoming more arrogant, passive and entitled. The internet has a lot to do with it. We assume that the internet connects people but really in many ways it drives them apart. It actually puts up a barrier between men and women - instead of her being right next to you and being able to read her body language she's sitting on the other side of the city and you can't see what she's doing or who she's with and you certainly can't reach out and touch her to find out if she's genuinely interested or just a timewaster. Even the old-style dating apps were better as you could filter out all of the fatties rather than have to swipe through them. When I used them I'd filter out all of the English women because (in my opinion) most of them are butt ugly. That saved a lot of time. Even then, the girls I met up from online dating turned out to be either 10 years older than their pictures and fat, fat and butt ugly or total biatches.

It would be good if you could filter out all of the women who's profile includes their instragram handle. I'd filter out all of them, I'd filter out the fatties and I'd filter out the gold-diggers as well. But then I suspect all that would be left would be women with a face like a rottwieler's ass.
 

AttackFormation

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Even the old-style dating apps were better as you could filter out all of the fatties rather than have to swipe through them. When I used them I'd filter out all of the English women because (in my opinion) most of them are butt ugly. That saved a lot of time. Even then, the girls I met up from online dating turned out to be either 10 years older than their pictures and fat, fat and butt ugly or total biatches.

It would be good if you could filter out all of the women who's profile includes their instragram handle. I'd filter out all of them, I'd filter out the fatties and I'd filter out the gold-diggers as well. But then I suspect all that would be left would be women with a face like a rottwieler's ass.
Ive noticed that the apps which used to have body type filters have removed them by now. I wonder what the exact reasoning behind that was but suspect it's pretty simple: having to spend more time swiping through more profiles boosts their "user engagement" statistic, which is correlated with profits both from users and from financial speculators.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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