Silence after good first date

[Atom Smasher]

Some of you guys still don't get it. All this pickup you've been reading on the internet, and you just can't get it through your brains... women are DIFFERENT. Feeling her up right off the bat on the first date? Can you get any more desperate? Do you not have any self control? You need to realize what you are communicating by doing this: That you are a lonely, horny dude who is not used to being on dates with women. Whether this is actually true isn't the point, that is the message you are sending. You know how to get a woman intrigued? Making her question whether YOU are interested by NOT making a move. Evaluate her personality and how she carries herself to decide if you want to invite her on a second date. Stop giving your power away and putting the ball in her court by immediately displaying your interest when she hasn't given you any reason to do so.

You were just another guy who couldn't keep his paws to himself and scared her away.

This is absolute truth. The best way to handle women is to make them wonder if you find them attractive or not. I've always made them wait a fairly long time before making my advances. Most men telegraph loud and clear, "I'm all-in and I'm hoping you will accept me."

Make them unsure of their worth. That's how to play the game and succeed. She comes in thinking she's got all the worth and you're just another guy who wants to get into her pants. Show her you're quite undecided about her, and you will have flipped the script and assumed power over the situation. I've been preaching this for years and almost no one gets it, and hence men go through years of failure with women. It's SO easy. Make them unsure. Judge them. You will have more women than you can handle.

 

[Barrister]

This is absolute truth. The best way to handle women is to make them wonder if you find them attractive or not. I've always made them wait a fairly long time before making my advances. Most men telegraph loud and clear, "I'm all-in and I'm hoping you will accept me."

Make them unsure of their worth. That's how to play the game and succeed. She comes in thinking she's got all the worth and you're just another guy who wants to get into her pants. Show her you're quite undecided about her, and you will have flipped the script and assumed power over the situation. I've been preaching this for years and almost no one gets it, and hence men go through years of failure with women. It's SO easy. Make them unsure. Judge them. You will have more women than you can handle.

Some of you guys still don't get it. All this pickup you've been reading on the internet, and you just can't get it through your brains... women are DIFFERENT. Feeling her up right off the bat on the first date? Can you get any more desperate? Do you not have any self control? You need to realize what you are communicating by doing this: That you are a lonely, horny dude who is not used to being on dates with women. Whether this is actually true isn't the point, that is the message you are sending. You know how to get a woman intrigued? Making her question whether YOU are interested by NOT making a move. Evaluate her personality and how she carries herself to decide if you want to invite her on a second date. Stop giving your power away and putting the ball in her court by immediately displaying your interest when she hasn't given you any reason to do so.

You were just another guy who couldn't keep his paws to himself and scared her away.

Agree to an extent. I think you absolutely need to physically escalate on the first date. I think you run the risk of being seen as a nice “friend” if you don’t and you can lose out forever and be placed in the FZ. Now, I do agree with the pleasure delay principle to an extent. You want to keep her wondering once she is somewhat invested. But, I think it’s a mistake to come off completely platonic. First impressions are vitally important. Most women are not going to initiate physical touch and it’s up to you to do that.

You don’t want to be the guy salivating all over the woman date 1. You also don’t want to be the guy who thinks he did great by getting a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Your points are well taken. I should have mentioned that to make up for the lack of physical action, you must set the stage and get her into an anticipatory state through innuendo. Let her know without question that's you're a sexual man (through flirting and innuendo), but just give a slight implication that you're undecided about her worth. Give her a few "maybe's" and a few jokes about this, such as gaining and losing "points" based on her behavior. I've always found that to be very powerful and well-received, both the giving of points and taking away. It's all done in the spirit of fun but it flips the script in no uncertain terms.

So be sexual by all means. This is pretty easy to imply. I say just don't let her think you're all-in. When she gets it that you're selective, she's putty in your hands.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Agree with both Atom Smasher and Barrister on this. The way I do it is to not be impressed by her until she has earned it, and to make her qualify herself by questioning her on something she says - sometimes in a slightly critical way. On the first point, what I mean is that many guys will have an interaction like this:

Him: "So, what do you like to do for fun?"
Her: "I like to go out for brunch with my friends"
Him "OH WOW! THAT IS SO COOL!!!!! I LOVE BRUNCH!!!" (I'm obviously laying it on thick here but you get the idea, and many guys do this)

Instead I might say, "I see - well, you're certainly doing your part to reinforce the stereotype. Do you also love Starbucks and Panera bread?" and I would say this with a sh*t eating grin. This example is toward the harsher end of the spectrum. A less harsh example would be to just stare at her blankly and not say anything and sit there in silence until she says something. And a slightly less harsh example would be to say something like, "Ah, that's it?" in an unimpressed tone. Also Atom Smasher's example of saying she lost some points is perfect too. All of these things will shift the power dynamic like Atom Smasher said, and will have her beginning to qualify herself to you.

Now if and when she says something truly deserving of recognition and being impressed, your eyes can light up and you can reward her for that by saying it's cool/impressive/whatever. The point is, you only do it where it's earned and you aren't afraid of expressing disappointment. This makes women incredibly turned on. 98% of guys don't do this.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Agree with both Atom Smasher and Barrister on this. The way I do it is to not be impressed by her until she has earned it, and to make her qualify herself by questioning her on something she says - sometimes in a slightly critical way. On the first point, what I mean is that many guys will have an interaction like this:

Him: "So, what do you like to do for fun?"
Her: "I like to go out for brunch with my friends"
Him "OH WOW! THAT IS SO COOL!!!!! I LOVE BRUNCH!!!" (I'm obviously laying it on thick here but you get the idea, and many guys do this)

Instead I might say, "I see - well, you're certainly doing your part to reinforce the stereotype. Do you also love Starbucks and Panera bread?" and I would say this with a sh*t eating grin. This example is toward the harsher end of the spectrum. A less harsh example would be to just stare at her blankly and not say anything and sit there in silence until she says something. And a slightly less harsh example would be to say something like, "Ah, that's it?" in an unimpressed tone. Also Atom Smasher's example of saying she lost some points is perfect too. All of these things will shift the power dynamic like Atom Smasher said, and will have her beginning to qualify herself to you.

Now if and when she says something truly deserving of recognition and being impressed, your eyes can light up and you can reward her for that by saying it's cool/impressive/whatever. The point is, you only do it where it's earned and you aren't afraid of expressing disappointment. This makes women incredibly turned on. 98% of guys don't do this.

100%.

Well said.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Guys, we should never forget that when a woman goes out with us for the first time, she is “trying us on”, just like how she tries on a dress. When she buys a dress, she knows full well that she will need to see how it makes her feel the next day before deciding whether or not to keep it.

Similarly, women date us knowing full well that they will have to evaluate how they feel the day after. That’s why a date can seem to go well to a man and yet he won’t hear from her again. The next day is everything.

This is why I say that wise is the man to strategically plants seeds with the day after in mind.

Can you give some examples @Atom Smasher ?? I like the sound of that.

 

[Romanemp22]

This is absolute truth. The best way to handle women is to make them wonder if you find them attractive or not. I've always made them wait a fairly long time before making my advances. Most men telegraph loud and clear, "I'm all-in and I'm hoping you will accept me."

Make them unsure of their worth. That's how to play the game and succeed. She comes in thinking she's got all the worth and you're just another guy who wants to get into her pants. Show her you're quite undecided about her, and you will have flipped the script and assumed power over the situation. I've been preaching this for years and almost no one gets it, and hence men go through years of failure with women. It's SO easy. Make them unsure. Judge them. You will have more women than you can handle.

Whenever I didn't go for a kiss on first date it turned girls off before, heck I even made a thread about my "experiment" before where with some girls I intentionally didn't go for a kiss and with others I did. None of the girls that I didn't tried to kiss were hot for me after so that's why I believe every damn time go for the kiss. Girls love a man who is confident and takes initiative. Girl who really likes you will kiss you on first date and will enjoy date,no other bullsh1t.

 

[Romanemp22]

Agree to an extent. I think you absolutely need to physically escalate on the first date. I think you run the risk of being seen as a nice “friend” if you don’t and you can lose out forever and be placed in the FZ. Now, I do agree with the pleasure delay principle to an extent. You want to keep her wondering once she is somewhat invested. But, I think it’s a mistake to come off completely platonic. First impressions are vitally important. Most women are not going to initiate physical touch and it’s up to you to do that.

You don’t want to be the guy salivating all over the woman date 1. You also don’t want to be the guy who thinks he did great by getting a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.

Amen brother I share same views

 

[Snag87]

Men and women generally don't see eye to eye in their evaluation of dates. I'd say on a one to ten scale there's on average a two point differential in how the genders would view the date.

 

[Romanemp22]

Every first date can't be shoved into the same script. But yes agree on showing hard to get. But escalation does need to come sooner then later.
Its a balance between showing value for your time and genuine interest.
Sex is never worth the wait the girl puts you through.
SNL do happen so dont flame the guys who do go for it. The opposite position with a girl. (The nice gentlemen) is way worse. IMO

Exactly man

 

[zinc4]

No i only sent one voice message and it was a chill one. She even said on date about some future plans which I even on date had suspicioun about, but I never encountered girl being really interested in me on date to go completely silent. It's cowardish behavior.

Also she said that she's afraid of me, that I look like a tough guy, she admits thats sexy to her but is afraid of me lol.

Should have told her that she should be afraid of you with a sly smile then evade the answer when she asks why.

 

[zinc4]

Every first date can't be shoved into the same script. But yes agree on showing hard to get. But escalation does need to come sooner then later.
Its a balance between showing value for your time and genuine interest.
Sex is never worth the wait the girl puts you through.
SNL do happen so dont flame the guys who do go for it. The opposite position with a girl. (The nice gentlemen) is way worse. IMO

Agree with this. I get the mind games and frame dynamics and being more aloof hard to get or what not but at the same time i havent met a girl worth waiting even 2 dates for. I only go for SNLs nothing else. Could care less about it turning into a relationship or not.

 

[derby1]

Youve met your average western woman.. Theyre nuts

Everyone should be concerned us men re letting a load of passive aggressive, lunatics, take over the world.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Giving silent tretmant doesn't suit up as she needs more time. I would definitely respect more if she just told me if she's not interested in going further but this is just childish.

This isn't up for debate.

Comply or bye.

Op didn't say she needed time. She said she has another date is getting her **** pushed in but wait like a ****in phaggot. #cuckd

If she wastes your finite time in this life and you tolerate you are a cuck.

But thanks for coming.

 

[Romanemp22]

This isn't up for debate.

Comply or bye.

Op didn't say she needed time. She said she has another date is getting her **** pushed in but wait like a ****in phaggot. #cuckd

If she wastes your finite time in this life and you tolerate you are a cuck.

But thanks for coming.

No bro I didn't tolerate anything, I moved on already seeing other girls