Let a new plate friendzone me after second date, then grew a pair

[buddhafukko]

After a couple great dates culminating in an over the top hookup, new girl told me she is going to give a go with someone she's been seeing a long time. I really like her, super intelligent and we had a freakish degree of similar interests (same authors, lifestyle) so I caved and told her I would still like to be her friend. We went out once more and still had a great time but no action, I told her I would keep my paws off her, but she still showed many signs of interest. In any case, we kept flirting even escalating, I let her do most all of the contact. She arranged a few more dates, and ended up breaking all three on short notice in the next two weeks. After the last cancellation I left her a message telling her I really don't have an interest in just friendship with her and we should part ways. She left a message minutes later asking if I had time to talk.

So I was walking and never looking back. I haven't responded for a couple days. I like her to much and she knows it. We have a pretty rare set of common interests. Should I respond?

 

[manfrombelow]

You said to her "I would still like to be her friend" but then you swallowed it back and said "You don't have an interest in just friendship with her and we should part ways"?

Now unless what you're gonna say is an invitation to your place so you can fvck the sh!t out of her, then don't. You already swallowed back your words once, don't do it again.

 

[RBK]

After a couple great dates culminating in an over the top hookup, new girl told me she is going to give a go with someone she's been seeing a long time. I really like her, super intelligent and we had a freakish degree of similar interests (same authors, lifestyle) so I caved and told her I would still like to be her friend. We went out once more and still had a great time but no action, I told her I would keep my paws off her, but she still showed many signs of interest. In any case, we kept flirting even escalating, I let her do most all of the contact. She arranged a few more dates, and ended up breaking all three on short notice in the next two weeks. After the last cancellation I left her a message telling her I really don't have an interest in just friendship with her and we should part ways. She left a message minutes later asking if I had time to talk.

So I was walking and never looking back. I haven't responded for a couple days. I like her to much and she knows it. We have a pretty rare set of common interests. Should I respond?

You can't friendship your way into some vagina. You need to flip the chessboard, tell her what you want (you did, she doesn't feel the same). So cut contact unless she wants to hang out in a setting that promotes sex.

Unless you can truly be her friend, but it doesn't seem that way as you caught feelings for her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Talk to her and tell her you thought about it and you aren't going to be her friend, that you wish her the best but you are moving on with your life. Leave the door open for her by saying if things don't work out feel free to get in touch and if I am still available then maybe we can talk more.

Then simply walk away from her until she contacts you.

 

[bat soup]

After a couple great dates culminating in an over the top hookup, new girl told me she is going to give a go with someone she's been seeing a long time. I really like her, super intelligent and we had a freakish degree of similar interests (same authors, lifestyle) so I caved and told her I would still like to be her friend. We went out once more and still had a great time but no action, I told her I would keep my paws off her, but she still showed many signs of interest. In any case, we kept flirting even escalating, I let her do most all of the contact. She arranged a few more dates, and ended up breaking all three on short notice in the next two weeks. After the last cancellation I left her a message telling her I really don't have an interest in just friendship with her and we should part ways. She left a message minutes later asking if I had time to talk.

So I was walking and never looking back. I haven't responded for a couple days. I like her to much and she knows it. We have a pretty rare set of common interests. Should I respond?

Sounds like you frienzoned yourself. Don't ever suggest friendship to a woman.

 

[buddhafukko]

Did you “make love” to her or did you ravage her like she is a tramp?

Yeah it was very wham bam thank you mam, I ran over her. Not really my style, generally I take my time and make them orgasm several times on the 1st time but it was raw lust.

 

[Robert28]

You didn’t even have to say you changed your mind. All you had to do is ghost her. And please don’t read into the whole “stuff in common” bs that gets thrown around. You know how many women are with guys they didn’t have a thing in common with? Tons. Ever notice how a woman suddenly supports a new team because her new guy supports them? Or new guy has a hobby that she all of a sudden takes up out of the blue?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like you frienzoned yourself. Don't ever suggest friendship to a woman.

Exactly...men friend zone themselves most times.

 

[Glassguy]

She arranged a few more dates, and ended up breaking all three on short notice in the next two weeks.

I really like her

Hold up my man.....this chick flaked on you 3 times and you "REALLY LIKE HER"? WTF? Seriously? How does one allow a girl to flake on him not only twice, but 3 times? I would love to know the answer to this.

we had a freakish degree of similar interests

No you didnt or she would still be interested in you and not the other guy. YOU were way invested in her and you saw all of these things that the 2 of you had in common. Her feelings werent mutual. Thats why she is now banging the other guy.

she still showed many signs of interest

Is flaking on date after date now a sign of interest? Asking for a friend.....

new girl told me she is going to give a go with someone she's been seeing a long time

After she said this, there is no reason to wonder about her or think about her. Definitely no reason to contact her again.

I know what I just said was harsh....but OP you may need to read this over and over...maybe you will see that your actions are not alpha at all....rather very beta.

Truth be know- the "other guy" probably rarely texts her, he probably flakes on dates ON HER, etc etc and thats why she likes him...because she has to WORK for HIS attention.

How do I know this? Because I am one of the "other guys". And when you can be the other guy- sex, dates, etc becomes so much easier.

You have a lot to learn but you are in the right place. Your #1 commodity is your time. Dont forget that and stop giving it to women who dont earn it.

 

[Robert28]

Exactly...men friend zone themselves most times.

Eh, not necessarily. I’ve been up front about my intentions from the get go, I’ve made it perfectly clear what I wanted. And you know what? Still got friendzoned. A lot of women just aren’t attracted to a guy but he serves a purpose so they need to find a way to keep him around after a few “dates”, so they friendzone him.