Ghosted out of nowhere...weird situation and cautionary tale...never assume you'll see a woman again no matter how well it is going

[Atom Smasher]

My priorities are crypto and trying to retire by the end of the year...I just don't really get what the issue was. It was like a light switch flipped when I invited her to come have dinner with me as if I was a serial killer or something.

It seems to me (from what I can piece together here) that you might have projected the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. Women need to wonder if the guy really likes her or not; that's part of the attraction process. That inner drama is a drug. When a guy projects "I'm all-in. When can I see you again?", the attraction level plummets. At that point, not only is the guy not considered above her (necessary for attraction), but is actually considered beneath her. It's game over.

Most men project this all-in vibe, and I believe it's the single most common reason for sudden, unexpected rejection.

Guys, it's critically important early on to implant the idea that you're undecided about her. You don't say that directly, but rather you imply it through innuendo and mysterious comments. Nine times out of ten this will place an iron grip on her and she'll move mountains to see you.

We must remember (and most men don't truly believe this), that most women today are literally insane. Not figuratively. Literally. They are lost.

Beware the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. By doing so you are opening the exit door for her and inviting her to step outside, which she'll gladly oblige.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It seems to me (from what I can piece together here) that you might have projected the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. Women need to wonder if the guy really likes her or not; that's part of the attraction process. That inner drama is a drug. When a guy projects "I'm all-in. When can I see you again?", the attraction level plummets. At that point, not only is the guy not considered above her (necessary for attraction), but is actually considered beneath her. It's game over.

Most men project this all-in vibe, and I believe it's the single most common reason for sudden, unexpected rejection.

Guys, it's critically important early on to implant the idea that you're undecided about her. You don't say that directly, but rather you imply it through innuendo and mysterious comments. Nine times out of ten this will place an iron grip on her and she'll move mountains to see you.

We must remember (and most men don't truly believe this), that most women today are literally insane. Not figuratively. Literally. They are lost.

Beware the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. By doing so you are opening the exit door for her and inviting her to step outside, which she'll gladly oblige.

I don't feel that was the case, but I guess every woman's threshold for that is different.

 

[El Roi]

ALWAYS make DEFINITE date. For example, "Let's go to this ABC place at XYZ time."

That always turns into an awkward back and forth interaction.

1: Let’s do X
2: I really want to! But I’m in class then.
1: Y time instead, no problem.
2: Ooh. Can’t then either. Keep going!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That always turns into an awkward back and forth interaction.

1: Let’s do X
2: I really want to! But I’m in class then.
1: Y time instead, no problem.
2: Ooh. Can’t then either. Keep going!

I mean I've done it my way for a long time and it always works out fine. Ask when they are free, they tell you the dates and you pick one. No back and forth BS to deal with.

Trust me...this didn't happen because of that.

 

[El Roi]

I mean I've done it my way for a long time and it always works out fine. Ask when they are free, they tell you the dates and you pick one. No back and forth BS to deal with.

Trust me...this didn't happen because of that.

Yeah I don’t think that’s the reason. Just pointing out the method that manfrombelow sent won’t improve things.

 

[corrector]

Not the end of the world because I have several other women I am dating

Sure, tell yourself that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sure, tell yourself that.

I am dating 3 others. Sorry if you have issues getting one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I don’t think that’s the reason. Just pointing out the method that manfrombelow sent won’t improve things.

I agree with what you said...quoted the wrong post haha

 

[corrector]

I am dating 3 others. Sorry if you have issues getting one.

Sure, I'm not dating women I don't care about, and writing threads about those I do but ghosted out. Don't have time for that.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I've had similar things happen to me this year. Girls with high attraction, some we fxcked a couple of times then they ghost. Others ghosting after the first hook up. Others who were eager plates who contacted me regularly disappeared abruptly. Serious relationship ending a year ago and many good ones before that one. So much so to the point I actually wrote in my journal recently, nothing is forever. Accept everything ends and stop deluding yourself, James. Enjoy the moments like they're the last.

 

[Barrister]

It seems to me (from what I can piece together here) that you might have projected the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. Women need to wonder if the guy really likes her or not; that's part of the attraction process. That inner drama is a drug. When a guy projects "I'm all-in. When can I see you again?", the attraction level plummets. At that point, not only is the guy not considered above her (necessary for attraction), but is actually considered beneath her. It's game over.

Most men project this all-in vibe, and I believe it's the single most common reason for sudden, unexpected rejection.

Guys, it's critically important early on to implant the idea that you're undecided about her. You don't say that directly, but rather you imply it through innuendo and mysterious comments. Nine times out of ten this will place an iron grip on her and she'll move mountains to see you.

We must remember (and most men don't truly believe this), that most women today are literally insane. Not figuratively. Literally. They are lost.

Beware the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. By doing so you are opening the exit door for her and inviting her to step outside, which she'll gladly oblige.

Great post. This is probably the biggest hurdle I have in the early dating phase. Because I agree 100% with what you said. However, I DO think you need some rapport building to keep the interests stoked. I know some guys on here will not contact a chick they went on a date with for 5 days. I think that can work on lower SMV women. But if you're dating a HB 8+ who has countless options, I think this can only backfire on you. I think you have to reach out (within reason) and build rapport here and there inbetween dates. I agree NOT to give off the "all-in" vibe, but to keep it light, fun, and let them know you are still in the picture.

How do you balance that out of curiosity? (Or maybe you don't)

 

[bat soup]

Maybe she just found out that she has Gonorrhea, Syphilis and HIV and she decided to do you a favor.

 

[Bigpapa]

Went on a few dates with this cute blonde chick, had a great vibe, attraction on both sides, make out sessions, on the second date she grabbed my hand as we walked and asked if I would want to go to the county fair with her in a few weeks and I teased her and said only if you plan on winning me a giant stuffed animal, and she laughed and said she will try her best...

Everything seemed like it was going normally with a chick that was really into me, she was texting me a lot after the date, saying we should do x,y and z sometime because it looked like fun.

Asked when she was free again a few days after I saw her and she gave me a list of days and I picked Monday and invited her to come cook dinner with me and the chick seemingly freaked out. I mean I have invited women over for dinner on a 3rd date probably 50 times, and 48 of them accepted, the other 2 said they weren't ready for that yet and we did something else. None of them freaked out the way she did.

So she gave me an excuse that she wasn't feeling good and thought she might be getting sick, said she went and got a COVID test but it came back negative, blah blah blah. She said she wasn't sure where her comfort level was with all of this because she just started dating again and blah blah blah. She asked if she could take a raincheck and we would figure something out when she felt better.

So I told her to yeah no issues, feel better and we would figure something out then.

And that was the last I heard from her...it's been like 10 days, noticed she deleted me off the dating app, has not responded to either of the 2 messages I sent.

I mean there is an off chance that she might be really sick or something but I have a feeling she just ghosted me. Doesn't seemingly make any sense to me since we had such a great vibe, there was mutual attraction and we had so many things in common. It felt like a situation that I had been in 3 or 4 times before where things just easily progress...

Except this time I get ghosted...don't really get it but I assume there must be another guy in the picture or maybe she had a boyfriend/is still married and they found out...you never know these days.

Not the end of the world because I have several other women I am dating but she definitely seemed to have a lot of potential.

Just a cautionary tale...no matter how good it's going, never assume you will see her again in the beginning.

look man , no offense , but a 3rd date where you invite her to your place to cook dinner is quite a terrible idea , unless the chick digs you a lot

for Sure by playing it like this , you leave a lot of potential women on the table

your problem was that attraction has an expiry date , and if you do not make sex happening as fast as possible you will end up in situations like this .

very likely she met another guy , that maybe moved fast , and she started hamster wheeling that maybe she did not like you enough to sleep with you , so she went missing in action

 

[BackInTheGame78]

look man , no offense , but a 3rd date where you invite her to your place to cook dinner is quite a terrible idea , unless the chick digs you a lot

for Sure by playing it like this , you leave a lot of potential women on the table

your problem was that attraction has an expiry date , and if you do not make sex happening as fast as possible you will end up in situations like this .

very likely she met another guy , that maybe moved fast , and she started hamster wheeling that maybe she did not like you enough to sleep with you , so she went missing in action

My experience says it isn't. In fact, my experience says rushing to try and have sex goes south far more than it works out. I can't even think of a single time I banged a woman on a first or second date where I ended up dating her for more than a month. Most of the time they fizzled. And it's definitely not my skills in that department...I am confident I am top 3 for any women if not 1.

Probably have invited 50 women over on 3rd dates for dinner. Exactly 0 prior to this women have freaked out and ghosted.

48 of them were excited and asked what they could bring. Out of those 48 I banged probably 44 of them.

So 44/50 is an 88% bang rate doing this. Not too shabby.

And I don't invite them to cook for them...I invite them to cook with me. Big difference. They are actively participating and the amount of flirting you can do in the kitchen is probably better than any other place.

 

[Bigpapa]

My experience says it isn't. In fact, my experience says rushing to try and have sex goes south far more than it works out. I can't even think of a single time I banged a woman on a first or second date where I ended up dating her for more than a month. Most of the time they fizzled. And it's definitely not my skills in that department...I am confident I am top 3 for any women if not 1.

Probably have invited 50 women over on 3rd dates for dinner. Exactly 0 prior to this women have freaked out and ghosted.

48 of them were excited and asked what they could bring. Out of those 48 I banged probably 44 of them.

So 44/50 is an 88% bang rate doing this. Not too shabby.

And I don't invite them to cook for them...I invite them to cook with me. Big difference. They are actively participating and the amount of flirting you can do in the kitchen is probably better than any other place.

I do not want to sound like a j@ackass , just saying how things work from my experience , and who knows , maybe you will find something interesting from my modus operandi

you have a high conversion rate , mainly because the women who come to your place “ to cook “ know what will happen . It is not something that just happens , as women want

I am quite sure that if you would have been more aggressive in going towards sex , maybe you would have had a lower conversion rate - maybe in the range of 40-50 % , but double the women that you would have slept with

women do not want to plan for sex , they want things to “ just happen “

 

[Duke26]

Guys, it's critically important early on to implant the idea that you're undecided about her. You don't say that directly, but rather you imply it through innuendo and mysterious comments. Nine times out of ten this will place an iron grip on her and she'll move mountains to see you.

Got some good examples of this?

 

[Dash Riprock]

My priorities are crypto and trying to retire by the end of the year...I just don't really get what the issue was. It was like a light switch flipped when I invited her to come have dinner with me as if I was a serial killer or something.

Good man. Take care of your goals and paper. Follow Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Brian Tracy on Instagram and YouTube. Take a shot of mentally nutritious information every day. One piece of advice may change your life forever--did for me back in 1993.

Goals, goals, goals!

Funny, I've heard of Roosh but never read any of his stuff. The McDonald's reference just makes sense. MCD by the way is a GREAT long term stock buy. Bought a boat load three weeks ago.

Ciao.

 

[bat soup]

look man , no offense , but a 3rd date where you invite her to your place to cook dinner is quite a terrible idea , unless the chick digs you a lot

for Sure by playing it like this , you leave a lot of potential women on the table

your problem was that attraction has an expiry date , and if you do not make sex happening as fast as possible you will end up in situations like this .

very likely she met another guy , that maybe moved fast , and she started hamster wheeling that maybe she did not like you enough to sleep with you , so she went missing in action

Yeah, I knew a guy that used to do this and the women would come over, have a free dinner, and then not want to bang.

Part of the problem is that you can't be escalating on her and cooking at the same time. Maybe a better idea would be to make something with her and then get messy and start banging her on the table.

 

[Stuffnu]

“Who knows why” and your mindset should be ”who cares why”.
Always fish with a net and not a single lure. I had girls do all the chasing and reach out to confirm the night before - only to disappear the day of. Maybe it was a Chad, a returning ex or a bad burrito. Doesn’t matter - on to the next. However, the one thing that is becoming more consistent with these chronic “Ghosters” is you usually see them return to OLD a few weeks or months later. Profiles that suggest there were mentally bruised by a pump and dump. Always a good laugh and a swipe left.

 

[allergictobs]

It seems to me (from what I can piece together here) that you might have projected the deadly "I'm all-in" vibe. Women need to wonder if the guy really likes her or not; that's part of the attraction process. That inner drama is a drug. When a guy projects "I'm all-in. When can I see you again?", the attraction level plummets. At that point, not only is the guy not considered above her (necessary for attraction), but is actually considered beneath her. It's game over.

Most men project this all-in vibe, and I believe it's the single most common reason for sudden, unexpected rejection.

A story from my past:

I had been dating this girl for a few months at least. Everything was going great. She had already confessed multiple times that she loved me etc. One night I jokingly commented on something and just casually said that she is "wife material" - it was meant as a compliment, certainly not a proposal. The look on her face was horrified.

I didn't lose her then and there, and in fact, a couple of years later we were still in a relationship and it was then her who started talking about marriage. I ended up dumping her (for various reasons), but this story is just to illustrate that nothing is certain at any point in a relationship.

I believe that women are often overinterpreting what guys are saying. For example, the comment about being wife material may have been interpreted by her as a sign that I was going to propose soon, which certainly was not my intent. Or in the case of the OP of the thread, an invitation to cook dinner may have been interpreted as too serious too fast.

In these cases, I think the fault is actually that of the woman, since overinterpreting things is not a sensible way of living as an adult, but what can you do.