That activity is ok, I would skip the coke, however. The reason is that if you are feeling down as the reason to get it, that is direct to addiction and sounds like you have enough money to really get into it. Of all things, force yourself to not do that. It will eventually cause you to do things you say you never would and also the MEN that will hang around you are also in trouble. Just avoid it, but some brandy and women sometimes; ok.
You have learned now a key lesson. Money does not buy happiness. With a conservative lifestyle, you literally have more money than you need or WANT. This is a very good foundation to do things and also dangerous. Many men stay grounded because of needing to work for survival and validation. If free, what should I do...
You are now a very eligible bachelor according to what you tell.
Consider doing the following in addition to your already busy schedule.
- ensure a fitness plan, lifting and or sprinting or swim if that more for you. Three days a week at least 1+ hour. Pay for a trainer if you go to a gym.
- visit the dentist for checkup and clean.
- have your clothes cleaned and pressed from a service or store (sounds like you can afford it no problem)
- clubs/social
-- service clubs such as Lions or even Rotary..., just contact them and ask.
-- Christian..., once a week bible study if you can't find one just approach the pastor or priest of any church you think looks good.
-- Toastmasters, don't laff.. try it.
-- Do you live near a nice tavern, eat dinner in it once a week at the same time and day.
- read, The Power of Now; Echart Tolle
Thanks for your response brother!
Coke is always a give or take with me, never a necessity. I like it, I don't depend on it. For example, I didn't touch any drugs, or this website (or much internet) since I last posted a few weeks ago. I worked and worked out. Today another 17k euro hit my account so I got a gram of coke and some alcohol. It's a celebration. Tomorrow I'll work.
Already done a full health checkup including dentistry. All in good working order, not taking the poison injection will do that to you.
Clothes pressed is not needed, I used to, dry clean my suits and shirts, weekly, working in the city. Now I work from home, alone, isolated, making money in my boxers, playing games, reading my bible, masturbating, watching porn, sleeping with women, drinking alcohol. It's not ideal and I'm trying to be better. But... not actually spending any of this new money. I'm still on my old money.
I'm thinking to go to church again, have not been since childhood (I don't really believe in religion but I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Yahweh/God). I need to find a nice woman and I think I'll find her at church.
Echart Tolle - no thanks - demonic new age garbage and deception.
I slacked off working out, so easily done with distractions. Health and connection to God is my only focus now.
Appreciate your comment/advice.
I had "Sudden Wealth Syndrome" - it's a thing - research it. I'm slowly balancing out. Not spending any huge amounts of money has kept me grounded, the Lord will tell me what to do with it.
And me too. I bought a new Bible, my first Bible in fact, and decided to read at the place the bookmark was. It looped under so the bookmark cut off 2 sections of the Bible. I thought to myself "there must be something here that will reach out to me, mean something". I opened to Chronicles 1 - David/Judah/Simeon's descendants - a load of begetting, not very meaningful. The bookmark looped back under to Job - I know Job - what could I possibly learn from the book of Job.
I have always prayed since I was a child, for wisdom and understanding, never money or material things, always for wisdom and understanding. I open to Job, in the first Bible I've ever bought, alone in my house, to Job 28: "True wisdom is God's Alone" - I was so excited, the only thing I've ever prayed about, I read the whole chapter. It talks about Job wanting God's wisdom, where to find it, the last verse in the chapter, "And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that
is wisdom; and to depart from evil
isunderstanding.
I couldn't believe it, the one thing I always prayed for, I already had, you don't need to go deeper in knowledge or wisdom, simply fearing God and departing from evil is true wisdom, that's all I need. I cried, I broke down in tears, I felt God spoke to me. I've never felt it before, I read Job 28 out loud, had goosebumps while reading and broke down when I finished. God gave me what I needed to hear. I don't need to seeking wisdom or hidden knowledge, I'm good the way I am. I need to focus on being a better person, this money will help me do that. I plan to help people in foreign countries and do missionary work.
There's no doubt in my mind this money has come when I didn't expect or seek it, in a time in the world when things are going very south, there's a higher purpose for this money.