Thoughts on Attending a Church.

[Travel memoir21]

Please do not make this a thread to be a religious debate as it goes against forum rules.

What I’d like to talk about are The Pros and Cons of attending a church.

If you’re a loner like myself, would this be a good idea? I understand some positive aspects about it like having a sense of community, a social circle and having people you can chat and bond with on a regular basis.

But one thing I would not be comfortable is being part of something I do not believe in 100%, Id feel like a fraud. For example, theres a group of mormon missionaries who Im talking to, they seem like a great group of people, but Ive done my research on the mormon faith and thats one group I wouldnt be comfortable attending.

So what are The Pros and Cons of attending a church. Is it a good idea? why not? Thanks.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Please do not make this a thread to be a religious debate as it goes against forum rules.

What I’d like to talk about are The Pros and Cons of attending a church.

If you’re a loner like myself, would this be a good idea? I understand some positive aspects about it like having a sense of community, a social circle and having people you can chat and bond with on a regular basis.

But one thing I would not be comfortable is being part of something I do not believe in 100%, Id feel like a fraud. For example, theres a group of mormon missionaries who Im talking to, they seem like a great group of people, but Ive done my research on the mormon faith and thats one group I wouldnt be comfortable attending.

So what are The Pros and Cons of attending a church. Is it a good idea? why not? Thanks.

Biggest con... goes against good. Here it goes pandemics biggest victims' are the highschool students. Groups of 30 in a band setting was mortal. Alternative to a church that uses funds or lights with a dj system attached is something in plain sight. In conclusion you're better off the loner in a cafe than grouping like casualties in band. No they didn't solve the problem for high school or anything grade school. Like messing up the lawn and putting some dirt over it to feel better. Country decided to re-open school. So community and social circles is to take a hit. Nice to add your own comparison to a group trying to make a difference. Yet doomsday clock seconds to midnight needs an astrophysicist like pascal. His is an interesting wikipedia with lot's of ups and downs. Finally it goes beyond being a phony just even a manager of a food court can sway the countries biggest flaw ironically...

 

[Xenom0rph]

I grew up in the church, and I would advise against it.

It's a myth that church or any organization offers a sense of community. They advertise that as a way to entice new members to join, but the reality is that, like all organizations, a church is all about exploitation of its members.

They lure you in with promises of community, friendship, acceptance, etc.... but once you're in, you'll find that it's a one-way street. Because once you're in they don't need to do a sales pitch anymore. And then the ugly truth comes out.

You'll be the one that's investing time, effort, energy, money, resources into the group, but they WON'T invest back into you. They won't support you in your time of need. And they won't truly open up to you or be your friend....

At best, they might include your name on the list of "This month's birthday wishes" and you might get a slice of cake once a year, but that's about it.

If you're looking for friendship, love or connection, you won't find it in a church group. Because you'll find that there will be cliques within the group, and those cliques are generally not welcoming.

I often compare church groups to those communities surrounded around a Dating Coach or Life Coach or any type of mentoring and coaching - it's a SCAM.

They prey on lonely, vulnerable men and exploit them for money, time and resources.

Men should be avoiding church groups just as much as they should be avoiding scam artist PUAs, Dating Coaches, or Life Coaches.

 

[corrector]

Please do not make this a thread to be a religious debate as it goes against forum rules.

What I’d like to talk about are The Pros and Cons of attending a church.

If you’re a loner like myself, would this be a good idea? I understand some positive aspects about it like having a sense of community, a social circle and having people you can chat and bond with on a regular basis.

But one thing I would not be comfortable is being part of something I do not believe in 100%, Id feel like a fraud. For example, theres a group of mormon missionaries who Im talking to, they seem like a great group of people, but Ive done my research on the mormon faith and thats one group I wouldnt be comfortable attending.

So what are The Pros and Cons of attending a church. Is it a good idea? why not? Thanks.

On the peripheral the pros:
1) You have a place to go to.
2) You feel good and purposeful when you leave. You know that feeling that people can see that you have been to church.
3) The spiritual experience of music or hearing the word explained.
4) As you exit the church you can roam and visit other places since you left your home, right?

So the main benefit as I ses it is to get you out of the home and into an activity that is not focused on making money, carnal (or impure) entertainment, and in a good environment.

These are probably weak pros. During pandemic I usually watch church services on my projector (at least before I started an oppressive work from home insurance training).

Cons: If you start worrying about girls or who is taking you on, etc.... then in my case its a bad experience. The irony is I feel a better connection (peripheral again) with girls outslside of church if I just been inside a church that would not exist that way if I did not go to church.

I guess all I have is very weak peripheral observations. But if you are a loner with no social interactions then you will be more sensitive to these peripheral issues since everything counts.

 

[SW15]

If you're looking for friendship, love or connection, you won't find it in a church group. Because you'll find that there will be cliques within the group, and those cliques are generally not welcoming.

In the United States, fewer heterosexual couples are meeting through church or church-related activities. This is likely true across the world as well. A decline in religious participation is a part of this.

I am confident that some devoutly religious people are meeting longer term mates through church. This often results in marriage, as many faiths are against pre-marital sex.

Above age 25, it's unlikely to meet women through church related activities. In most faiths, if you go to their weekend services, you won't see many unattached people in their 20s/30s attending. The demographics tend to be older empty nesters and some young families.

The point of the cliques is real. It's a challenge to break into those if you've just moved to an area or are new in some way. You can make it in if you're persistent enough.

 

[Travel memoir21]

In the United States, fewer heterosexual couples are meeting through church or church-related activities. This is likely true across the world as well. A decline in religious participation is a part of this.

I am confident that some devoutly religious people are meeting longer term mates through church. This often results in marriage, as many faiths are against pre-marital sex.

Above age 25, it's unlikely to meet women through church related activities. In most faiths, if you go to their weekend services, you won't see many unattached people in their 20s/30s attending. The demographics tend to be older empty nesters and some young families.

The point of the cliques is real. It's a challenge to break into those if you've just moved to an area or are new in some way. You can make it in if you're persistent enough.

Wow, that’s sad man. The fact that people would rather meet online first than in real life.

Proof of how anti social people has become.

 

[Mike32ct]

For faith purposes, it’s obviously good. But, for social purposes, they likely are clique-y and probably don’t cater to single guys. You would likely remain a lone wolf.

For a married guy (or couple) looking to have a social circle, it’s very good. Married guys and couples I know end up with very large social circles though church.

 

[corrector]

For faith purposes, it’s obviously good. But, for social purposes, they likely are clique-y and probably don’t cater to single guys. You would likely remain a lone wolf.

For a married guy (or couple) looking to have a social circle, it’s very good. Married guys and couples I know end up with very large social circles though church.

That defeats the point of social circle game.

 

[Mike32ct]

That defeats the point of social circle game.

They want you to be married; but meeting someone and getting there is your problem. Not to be harsh, but it’s roughly like that.

 

[SW15]

Wow, that’s sad man. The fact that people would rather meet online first than in real life.

Proof of how anti social people has become.

In the 1990s and early 2000s, online dating was stigmatized. Starting somewhere around the mid-2000s, online dating lost its stigma. Then swipe apps replaced website dating.

An argument can be made that the rise of tech assisted dating is a reaction to declining participation in church organizations, declines in secular social groups, and fewer people staying in LTRs with their high school or college significant others.

For faith purposes, it’s obviously good. But, for social purposes, they likely are clique-y and probably don’t cater to single guys. You would likely remain a lone wolf.

For a married guy (or couple) looking to have a social circle, it’s very good. Married guys and couples I know end up with very large social circles though church.

Single men have a hard time finding a place in most churches, especially from ages 25-44. There might be a small community of young, never married singles who marry off early in life.

You're right about married guys and couples.

That defeats the point of social circle game.

Social circle game can be run in venues other than church.

 

[corrector]

In the 1990s and early 2000s, online dating was stigmatized. Starting somewhere around the mid-2000s, online dating lost its stigma. Then swipe apps replaced website dating.

An argument can be made that the rise of tech assisted dating is a reaction to declining participation in church organizations, declines in secular social groups, and fewer people staying in LTRs with their high school or college significant others.



Single men have a hard time finding a place in most churches, especially from ages 25-44. There might be a small community of young, never married singles who marry off early in life.

You're right about married guys and couples.



Social circle game can be run in venues other than church.

....and over 44?

 

[Sir FB]

I wouldn’t lump all churches in with mainstream Christian church. Maybe there’s a sect that would appeal to you. I always thought the Quaker’s had some good philosophies and most major cities have a dharma center if you want to explore Buddhism. My opinion is it wouldn’t hurt to go check out a few churches and see what you think. You’re under no obligation to join if you don’t like it and you’ll never know what it’s like If you don’t check it out.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You don’t need to believe to go to church. Most churches welcome questioners.

 

[Black Widow Void]

This is a great question - to which I can relate.

As an agnostic, I would also feel like a fraud attending services, but I can also understand some church advantages.

ie; Women raised under oppression are more likely to possess traditional values (it’s similar to when we were kids and were taught to feel guilty about something.)

Some single women attend church more so to find a man or for the social aspect than as a means of a “place of worship.”
But for those of us that would feel like a fraud, if attending... would we want to date a gal that is practicing fraud behavior (and with no guilt or shame about it) ?

Not sure about you, but my values align more with those that are believers than those that are fellow agnostic’s or atheist. However, I am unable to subscribe to their belief system.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Please do not make this a thread to be a religious debate as it goes against forum rules.

What I’d like to talk about are The Pros and Cons of attending a church.

If you’re a loner like myself, would this be a good idea? I understand some positive aspects about it like having a sense of community, a social circle and having people you can chat and bond with on a regular basis.

But one thing I would not be comfortable is being part of something I do not believe in 100%, Id feel like a fraud. For example, theres a group of mormon missionaries who Im talking to, they seem like a great group of people, but Ive done my research on the mormon faith and thats one group I wouldnt be comfortable attending.

So what are The Pros and Cons of attending a church. Is it a good idea? why not? Thanks.

Why not do something that chicks do like go salsa dancing or whatever something chicks dig instead? (I suppose your idea with church is to meet women too?).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It is a social group. Church is friendly to family and marriage. There will be politics. There are many benefits, as it allows you to get into leadership, or help the community. It gets you around other people.

There are some stereotypical downsides. Politics. Gossip. Overly critical attitudes in some groups. Other groups may have other issues. You need to evaluate the groups themselves. They are all different. It can be a great addition to your life or it can be another place which ends up in drama and distraction.

 

[Sam_J]

It depends on whether or not you believe in the religion that the church teaches. If you're a Christian and you believe in the bible it would make sense to go to church because it literally commands Christians to gather. But as an agnostic atheist I have no reason to go to church, unless I'm trying to meet women who might like the idea of fvcking a bad boy atheist like myself lmao

 

[IKO69]

I don't attend personally, but I think it's a good avenue if the religion the church is linked to is something that resonates with you. You can get involved in the different functions and what not.

 

[Machine10033]

I went to catholic school for 10 years and am still religious. I find it much more satisfying spending time alone in nature on a Sunday morning and praying or meditating ( whatever your thing is). Church people put up a great front but most of the time turn out to be frauds.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I went to catholic school for 10 years and am still religious. I find it much more satisfying spending time alone in nature on a Sunday morning and praying or meditating ( whatever your thing is). Church people put up a great front but most of the time turn out to be frauds.

A lot of people pick and choose what to believe in. Cultural Christians are the worst. It's the reason i haven't been back to church in years.