Most guys on here focus on the wrong things

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,705
Reaction score
8,656
Age
47
So many of the threads on here are about women ghosting, women acting hot/cold, women "Playing games", etc.

You know what they are really about? A guy is too invested/interested in a chick that is not that invested/interested in him. Brutal truth. There is no magic bullet or phrase that makes their panties fall off. Most women already know if they will ever sleep with you within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. Fact. Think about that. In 5 minutes she has seen how you physically hold yourself, how you speak, what type of demeanor you have and if you are a jitterbug or you are laid back and chill with no fvcks given. Are you at stuttering Stan or are you mysterious with a smirk on your face with the ability to be smooth and witty when needed?

You are either attractive enough for the chicks you are interested in or you are not. You are either popular enough to have a solid social status or you do not. You either make enough money to live a lifestyle that is appealing to the women you are interested in, or you do not.

And lastly.......and most importantly.....You either have a solid frame (mentally) and the right demeanor to be both charismatic and IDGAF attitude.....or you dont.

Most men are trying to find supplements to enhance their dating game. Not that there is anything wrong with gaining as much of an edge over the field that you can get.........but the supplements are not the game. The game is you, being the best version of yourself that attracts the most high quality women that you can get and knowing how to handle them once you attract them.

If most of you spent the time working on improving yourself (physically, mentally, socially, finacially) that you do worrying about some chick not responding back as soon as you'd hope she would.....You would find a world full of abundance and you would understand that this game of dating is much simpler when you are attracting rather than chasing.

There are plenty of excellent posts on here that deal with improving physically, mentally, socially and financially. As well as great threads that outline the structure of communication that you should have to be in control when talking/texting women.

Focus on improving what you can control. Improve those areas and this game of dating is very relaxed and easy. Its much easier catching bees that come to the bait than it is to run around trying to catch them with a net.

Happy Hunting
 

IKO69

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2005
Messages
1,215
Reaction score
1,115
Age
41
Location
Miami, FL
It was said on Scarface a long time ago - first you get the money, then you get the power, then the women line

I agree, a lot of guys put the cart before the horse, but realize they are probably young guys so they don't know better yet.

Women really shouldn't be the priority --- they come automatically once you achieve a certain level of satisfaction and success.
 
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
37
Reaction score
45
Age
53
So many of the threads on here are about women ghosting, women acting hot/cold, women "Playing games", etc.

You know what they are really about? A guy is too invested/interested in a chick that is not that invested/interested in him. Brutal truth. There is no magic bullet or phrase that makes their panties fall off. Most women already know if they will ever sleep with you within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. Fact. Think about that. In 5 minutes she has seen how you physically hold yourself, how you speak, what type of demeanor you have and if you are a jitterbug or you are laid back and chill with no fvcks given. Are you at stuttering Stan or are you mysterious with a smirk on your face with the ability to be smooth and witty when needed?

You are either attractive enough for the chicks you are interested in or you are not. You are either popular enough to have a solid social status or you do not. You either make enough money to live a lifestyle that is appealing to the women you are interested in, or you do not.

And lastly.......and most importantly.....You either have a solid frame (mentally) and the right demeanor to be both charismatic and IDGAF attitude.....or you dont.

Most men are trying to find supplements to enhance their dating game. Not that there is anything wrong with gaining as much of an edge over the field that you can get.........but the supplements are not the game. The game is you, being the best version of yourself that attracts the most high quality women that you can get and knowing how to handle them once you attract them.

If most of you spent the time working on improving yourself (physically, mentally, socially, finacially) that you do worrying about some chick not responding back as soon as you'd hope she would.....You would find a world full of abundance and you would understand that this game of dating is much simpler when you are attracting rather than chasing.

There are plenty of excellent posts on here that deal with improving physically, mentally, socially and financially. As well as great threads that outline the structure of communication that you should have to be in control when talking/texting women.

Focus on improving what you can control. Improve those areas and this game of dating is very relaxed and easy. Its much easier catching bees that come to the bait than it is to run around trying to catch them with a net.

Happy Hunting
If you are a spiritual person (a believer in the lord Jesus Christ) you don’t even need to be handsome or rich,and can marry the woman of your dreams.You don’t even need to be the “best version “ of yourself as you put it.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
If you are a spiritual person (a believer in the lord Jesus Christ) you don’t even need to be handsome or rich,and can marry the woman of your dreams.You don’t even need to be the “best version “ of yourself as you put it.
You just have to be a man shes attracted to.
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,365
Reaction score
2,362
Age
36
It's forgivable that guys are chasing women. I mean, what is one supposed to do in the mean time? It doesn't happen over night that a guy becomes wealthy, or socially proofed, or jacked. A man still has the need to cvm in a woman before all this self improvement manifests. Is he supposed to just deal with hookers until then?
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
It's forgivable that guys are chasing women. I mean, what is one supposed to do in the mean time? It doesn't happen over night that a guy becomes wealthy, or socially proofed, or jacked. A man still has the need to cvm in a woman before all this self improvement manifests. Is he supposed to just deal with hookers until then?
"Cvm in" many men pull out or use condoms. Cvmming in is rolling a pregnancy dice which leads to exploitation.
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
637
Reaction score
522
Age
61
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
If you are a spiritual person (a believer in the lord Jesus Christ) you don’t even need to be handsome or rich,and can marry the woman of your dreams.You don’t even need to be the “best version “ of yourself as you put it.
I would disagree with that. The criteria doesn't change. I just gets harder. Now you not only have to meet secular criteria, but you have to meet the additional Christian criteria as well. She ain't gonna go for socially awkward guy the, unattractive guy, the finacially incapable guy, the low-confidence guy,...just because he is "spiritual". What she is going to go for is the same things the secular woman would go for,...with the "spiritual" criteria added on top of it.
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,285
Reaction score
2,885
Age
46
It's forgivable that guys are chasing women. I mean, what is one supposed to do in the mean time? It doesn't happen over night that a guy becomes wealthy, or socially proofed, or jacked. A man still has the need to cvm in a woman before all this self improvement manifests. Is he supposed to just deal with hookers until then?
A man needs to accept reality. The OP is saying that men should give their attention to the women who are attracted to them and stop wasting their time and money on those who aren't, or have big red flags.

Orbiters are men who want a woman that doesn't want them back. And these guys will obsess over whether or not she's seen his message, keep track of how long it takes her to respond, buy her presents, daydream... and then get emotional about all of the above when she doesn't give him what she wants... And all that because she never cared in the first place. All these problems are self-inflicted.

Becoming wealthier or more socially proofed doesn't make a man more attractive. It just makes him somewhat palatable to unscrupulous women who wouldn't otherwise have given him the time of day. This type of 'relationship' is bound for failure at best, and for alimony or false legal accusations at worst.
 

forcerecon01

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2019
Messages
854
Reaction score
484
Age
45
A man needs to accept reality. The OP is saying that men should give their attention to the women who are attracted to them and stop wasting their time and money on those who aren't, or have big red flags.

Orbiters are men who want a woman that doesn't want them back. And these guys will obsess over whether or not she's seen his message, keep track of how long it takes her to respond, buy her presents, daydream... and then get emotional about all of the above when she doesn't give him what she wants... And all that because she never cared in the first place. All these problems are self-inflicted.

Becoming wealthier or more socially proofed doesn't make a man more attractive. It just makes him somewhat palatable to unscrupulous women who wouldn't otherwise have given him the time of day. This type of 'relationship' is bound for failure at best, and for alimony or false legal accusations at worst.
So true. I am at fault for orbiting women too.
 

GreatHornedOwl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
390
Reaction score
322
Age
42
The mistake the OP makes is assuming a woman makes her decision within 5 minutes. If that were true, every guy she was attracted to would land a one night stand from the bar, since she made her decision so quickly. We all know that doesn't happen. A woman's attraction for a man typically builds much slower, which is why they have no problem making the guy wait for sex.

I would also be careful pushing that mentality because guys are going to put too much pressure on themselves to make something happen too quickly. They're going to assume "She must know right away, so I'm going to push for sex as quick as possible." A lot of guys on this forum fall into that trap. What they don't realize is, they're displaying a very undesirable personality trait, and that is desperation. Woman can sense it a mile away. And ironically, it's that off-putting behavior that will prevent them from getting their shot, never mind sleeping with her.

You have to realize, most women are not slvts. They are much more selective and careful about who they sleep with. One thing that often goes overlooked is that they run the risk of carrying a child, not us. Women analyze men very closely for a prolonged period of time, and it is because if a condom breaks, there is a good chance they will be carrying his child. Most men never even take this into consideration.

So this whole idea that women make up their mind instantly, it's just not true and it's detrimental to the guys who are pursing these women. You are thinking like a man in a situation where you need to delve into the female psyche, which will always reveal their motives.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,510
Reaction score
4,273
Age
38
The mistake the OP makes is assuming a woman makes her decision within 5 minutes. If that were true, every guy she was attracted to would land a one night stand from the bar, since she made her decision so quickly. We all know that doesn't happen. A woman's attraction for a man typically builds much slower, which is why they have no problem making the guy wait for sex.

I would also be careful pushing that mentality because guys are going to put too much pressure on themselves to make something happen too quickly. They're going to assume "She must know right away, so I'm going to push for sex as quick as possible." A lot of guys on this forum fall into that trap. What they don't realize is, they're displaying a very undesirable personality trait, and that is desperation. Woman can sense it a mile away. And ironically, it's that off-putting behavior that will prevent them from getting their shot, never mind sleeping with her.

You have to realize, most women are not slvts. They are much more selective and careful about who they sleep with. One thing that often goes overlooked is that they run the risk of carrying a child, not us. Women analyze men very closely for a prolonged period of time, and it is because if a condom breaks, there is a good chance they will be carrying his child. Most men never even take this into consideration.

So this whole idea that women make up their mind instantly, it's just not true and it's detrimental to the guys who are pursing these women. You are thinking like a man in a situation where you need to delve into the female psyche, which will always reveal their motives.
You missed the point. Glass’s point was that women screen OUT men within the first five minutes. As in, a portion are automatically ruled out based on the overall demeanor he has right off the bat. This isn’t to say the men she doesn’t rule out in that 5 minutes get to hop into bed with her. That’s where “game” kicks in.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,101
Reaction score
4,963
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
The wrong thing most guys focus on is how women judge them, not how to judge a woman.

Most men are free, of no sexual value, not special or exclusive by any means. We're easy, we're sluts. The prospect of getting pvssy makes us look the other way when it comes to a lot of bullsh!t behavior they exhibit. Some men are willing to take a lot of sh!t and straight up abuse if only they get a little pvssy once in a while, to some just hope is enough.

Women generally don't accept as much BS for some d!ck and d!ck is plentiful because men are cheap sluts.

Women are more men than men are, let that one sink in.
 

Georgepithyou

Banned
Joined
Jan 17, 2020
Messages
1,798
Reaction score
2,228
Age
28
Location
Sydney
It's forgivable that guys are chasing women. I mean, what is one supposed to do in the mean time? It doesn't happen over night that a guy becomes wealthy, or socially proofed, or jacked. A man still has the need to cvm in a woman before all this self improvement manifests. Is he supposed to just deal with hookers until then?
You bring up a very good point that is rarely if ever addressed in the Self Improvement space. You can get as rich and jacked as you want but if you have poor social skills/game you will just end up used by women.


If most of you spent the time working on improving yourself (physically, mentally, socially, finacially) that you do worrying about some chick not responding back as soon as you'd hope she would.....You would find a world full of abundance and you would understand that this game of dating is much simpler when you are attracting rather than chasing.
A man also needs time to improve his game, experience with dating lots of women can help a lot. There is a lot of mistakes i made early on that i learned to correct just through experience.

For example i learnt that women hate unsolicited advice, i used to think when women started complaining about someone/something that they wanted my advice when all they really wanted to do was vent.

You don't work on your game and you end up like Johnny Depp. He may be rich,Succesful and good looking but he can't maintain a solid relationship.
 
Last edited:

GreatHornedOwl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
390
Reaction score
322
Age
42
You missed the point. Glass’s point was that women screen OUT men within the first five minutes. As in, a portion are automatically ruled out based on the overall demeanor he has right off the bat. This isn’t to say the men she doesn’t rule out in that 5 minutes get to hop into bed with her. That’s where “game” kicks in.
I knew exactly what his point was. That had nothing to do with the point I was making.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

forcerecon01

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2019
Messages
854
Reaction score
484
Age
45
The wrong thing most guys focus on is how women judge them, not how to judge a woman.

Most men are free, of no sexual value, not special or exclusive by any means. We're easy, we're sluts. The prospect of getting pvssy makes us look the other way when it comes to a lot of bullsh!t behavior they exhibit. Some men are willing to take a lot of sh!t and straight up abuse if only they get a little pvssy once in a while, to some just hope is enough.

Women generally don't accept as much BS for some d!ck and d!ck is plentiful because men are cheap sluts.

Women are more men than men are, let that one sink in.
Men are lacking in self respect department thats for sure
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,365
Reaction score
2,362
Age
36
. The OP is saying that men should give their attention to the women who are attracted to them and stop wasting their time and money on those who aren't, or have big red flags.
I get that. That's why I was saying it's forgivable that men fall to these behaviors. It's hot and dry in the desert, and muddy water that may be a mirage looks worth chasing after.
 
Top