Too Many Men Do This: View sex as more than just a pleasurable activity

[RickTheToad]

I'm starting to realize a major problem a lot of men are having is that they see sex with a woman as something more than just a fun and pleasurable activity.
To them, it's like they think sex equates to a girl being obligated to you in some ways , (and to be fair, I was the same way in my thinking many "Bodies" ago. ) .

While its fair to feel like sex is a big deal and not be the type to have sex with a girl without there being more to the relationship.. you need to realize that theres a whole world of people who view sex, as just sex and nothing more.

I can't even relate to that premise anymore and find myself struggling with the concept of why men think of sex as this holy emotional thing that somehow got associated with feelings and ideals about the women, criticism and judgement of their personalities, etc.

I think it might be a combination of men who spend maybe a bit too much time with the girl without having sex with them-- causing it to feel like they are more personable with each other and thus leading to emotions .. maybe delving too deep into a womans life, who she is, where she came from, all her quirks and trying to understand her as a person.

While these are all great traits, these are the kind of things that lead to a girlfriend or a friendship as well. That's when things get weird of course for many people, myself included. I mean I can't tell you how many chicks I fell for in my past who were just fwb's. But what I do know about those specific girls was, I was spending a lot of time with them.

Don't fret tho.. the more you start getting laid-- the more you start seperating sex and emotions.. and all that other sh.t It even helps to find a girl that you know isn't the type you would or could ever fall for.. and guess what, women do the same when they look for a sex partner thats strictly for sex/pleasure..

and yes after a whle you start realizing theres things about women that make them quite simple and easily manipulated into sex if they have some sort of attraction to you-- but that shouldn't make you cynical abou t women.. that should make u want to make some more women friends so that u can explore the other side of them thats not just sexual and emotional and based on romance and passion

at the end of the day, with women, what you reap is what you sow.. so be careful what you attract with your mindset. dont want to end up being one of those dudes who keeps attracting girls who fulfill his ideas about women if your ideas about women are f-ed up lol (happens to dudes who been in back to back toxic relationships and lacked self respect and self esteem to cut them off at the first few red flags)

Let's get down to brass tax here. Dudes look for a female to have sex with and possibly raise a family some time. Dudes are not looking for a friend, buddy, etc. They are looking to have sex first and then possibly raise a family. Aside from that, there really isn't much use for females in terms of what they were put on the Earth for. This goes for any animal in the animal kingdom. Just the facts.

 

[Epimanes]

Those bragging about 100 or 200 notch counts or high notch countsin general... I could never be that shallow. That's just playing with people's hearts and minds....

To each their own I guess... I just couldn't do it.

Epi

 

[2Rocky]

Those bragging about 100 or 200 notch counts or high notch countsin general... I could never be that shallow. That's just playing with people's hearts and minds....

It's funny....When I ended my marriage I thought I was going to bed every single female that I could. And for a few months I did. And then I figured out getting them on my knob really wasn't that hard. But in my previous relationship sex frequency was my "low stave in the barrel".



Once I addressed that, then I started looking at emotional connection and feeling loved, and one rose above the rest... If you address your needs in this manner, you shouldn't have to go through 100's of women to find a long term connection. It tended to make me more discerning as I met new women, and disqualified them before I got in too deep. I also wasn't coming from a needy place.

 

[DonJuanjr]

you shouldn't have to go through 100's of women to find a long term connection.

I don't think it's about that... It's about bonding with females during sex. Why do you need to only bond with one female over a long period of time? I would rather bond with many different women than one.

 

[2Rocky]

Now I'm sure it is different for me than many other men. As a youngster I saw the only guys getting laid regularly were guys with girlfriends so I thought that's how you guaranteed satiating my sexual appetite. My longest relationship ever became my wife and my 20's were spent building a career business and family. So when I reentered the dating market my drive was high, but not as needy from being 20 years older.
had I gone into my 20's as a single man in a bigger metro area where my family name wasn't already well known, I might have played catch and release more. Who knows. I've had sex partners I bonded with and others I didn't. As the numbers climbed it became harder to bond in the moment. Eventually if I didn't "Feel it" I wouldn't pursue Carnal Intent.. I didn't need the validation.

 

[Paper Crane]

Your point is men should just enjoy sex for pleasure, and not expect anything else. Just sex for it's own sake. I'm saying that's simp-ish and noob virgin behavior. We all go through a "just wanna stick ma d1ck in sumfin" stage. But then you mature and realise that sex is about power and control over women-folk. This is when you achieve gold status Alpha mindset.

It's not about "expecting a woman to emotionally attach" - that's bitter beta behavior that you're projecting. You don't "expect it" from women. You just attempt to achieve it because it leads to better sex (and a better interaction) if a woman is attached, invested and idolizes you.

It's not that complicated, Holmes. You need to study up.

I don't think you understand what SIMP means. Being the guy who can have sex without becoming emotionally attached to a woman just because she has sex with you is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of being a SIMP.

I mean I fw one or two of your posts/comments on here but in this thread, you haven't been making much sense at all.. You honestly sound like someone who spends a lot of time playing video games or something .. I mean I'm not trying to call you out on your lack of experience or anything but -- you really don't get the point of this thread has a lot to do with emotional maturity... You are literally getting the COMPLETE Opposite connotations to everything being said here-- thus why you are not making much sense.

Or maybe my experience is different than some-- but for myself, It took me many years to start seperating sex from emotions.. and start enjoying sex as a pleasurable activity without feeling like the girl owed me anything after that.

 

[Paper Crane]

I had to explain the same thing in Stringpuller.

You're trapped in a simplistic paradigm. Your paradigm is either:

a. Sex with attachment
b. Sex with no attachment

I'm saying that there is option C.

Sex with no attachment, but with the goal of getting the woman attached to you because it leads to:

a. Validation-based sex from the woman i.e. Better sex where she loves banging you and does whatever you want. She's getting turned on by her ability to please you
b. A better interaction with a woman who actually loves you (in the way that women love- with supercharged oxytocin. She becomes addicted to you like a drug addict).
c. Better use of your time - you don't have to transact with her for sex because she actually wants to have sex with you. No "chore-play", no "dates for sex", no "buy me gifts for sex"- transacting etc.

If a man approaches his interactions as "woman just hole for my pleasure", as you advocate, then it's a simp-ing paradigm and a power imbalance. Woman don't just want a d1ck. They want a d1ck that's attached to a man she has "feelz" for.

If you want to just bang women, without any expectation or goal that she's getting attached to you, and without paying attention to this, then you're not getting the best out of women.

I feel what you're saying you're just arguing a point i never made .. its like you put your own topic out there and started discussing it as if i was on the other end of it. I'm sure its relative to this convo but I don't think anyones on the others side of it

I don't look at it that black and white my dude. This is the 2nd time I think someone has mentioned you have super black and white thinking. You're also projecting a lot if ideas on me that I don't have lol

 

[RBK]

I actually like this topic. I think a lot of this has to do with age. You will get different responses from a 25 year old and a 40 year old on this.

Me personally I'd prefer to have an emotional connection with whoever I am sleeping with but I'm older than I was. Previously in my younger years I'd think more was better. We do all crave something different from time to time.

I have a woman who has been a sort of psuedo FWB for 3 years. She's definitely been my anomoly but she has a very high notch count and is completely broken with being able to pair bond. She can sleep with men and feel nothing and uses them to get what she wants. I'm always careful with her as I know how she operates but she's a tough one to game because she will cut bait quick. I think its the abandonment issues from her past. She is one of the best ****s I've ever had and I do enjoy spending time with her outside the bedroom. She's fun, but she's entering the age where she wants to settle down. She does have a boyfriend but he isn't strong enough for her long term but she gets off on dominating men. Be wary of these types.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I actually like this topic. I think a lot of this has to do with age. You will get different responses from a 25 year old and a 40 year old on this.

Me personally I'd prefer to have an emotional connection with whoever I am sleeping with but I'm older than I was. Previously in my younger years I'd think more was better. We do all crave something different from time to time.

I have a woman who has been a sort of psuedo FWB for 3 years. She's definitely been my anomoly but she has a very high notch count and is completely broken with being able to pair bond. She can sleep with men and feel nothing and uses them to get what she wants. I'm always careful with her as I know how she operates but she's a tough one to game because she will cut bait quick. I think its the abandonment issues from her past. She is one of the best ****s I've ever had and I do enjoy spending time with her outside the bedroom. She's fun, but she's entering the age where she wants to settle down. She does have a boyfriend but he isn't strong enough for her long term but she gets off on dominating men. Be wary of these types.

I ran into this type the other weekend. A chore to deal with. So many ****tests and her trying to overpower me. She never got the advantage, but I could tell it frustrated her that I was stronger. I really hate bitches like that.

 

[Reyaj]

There's some girls I've had sex with and that's all I wanted from them. There's other girls I've had sex with where I ended up in relationships with.

In both scenarios though I do feel a sense of fulfillment aside from just the physical pleasure. I feel similar things after making out with a girl as well though... and I don't always feel I need to go for the lay right then and there.