What is the “X Factor”?

[SargeMaximus]

Hey guys, yesterday my brother (who regularly gets with hot girls) told me a story about how when he was out trying to find some eye drops, the pharmacist guy basically tooled him and made him go to the doctor instead of get his eye drops.

If it was me, I would have simply recognized that the guy was trying to fvck with me and bought the eye drops. Listening to the story, there’s no reason for my brother to listen to the guy except that the guys emotional outburst rattled my brother and he caved.

Yet he gets with hot girls, so being able to be unaffected by emotional outbursts and even to have a spine don’t seem to be required for him to be successful.

So this has me wondering: what is the X factor in getting laid? I always thought having good boundaries and not being tooled was something you needed. I know this because I still sometimes get tooled by women and only realize it afterwards. Then I make adjustments so it won’t happen again, but now I’m thinking maybe it doesn’t matter and the X factor is something else.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Sarge Im not sure there is an X factor per say but more of an accumulative coming together of a handful of things.
Eat well
Excersise
Do stuff
Get out (as much as possible)
Have a career
Have hobbies

As far as game goes. Being relaxed and being socially calibrated is up there. Very high on the list.

I have all of those things at higher levels than my brother yet he’s the one smashing prime pvssy.

he eats nothing but frozen pizzas and coffee
Doesn’t exercise
He goes out to walk around more than I do I suppose but not really since often I go out to do my sales and when I come back he’s still on his computer
He has a career as an arcade cashier
He’s got hobbies but I don’t know what they are. It’s all on his computer

 

[RangerMIke]

Well... hard to say with your brother... you know him a lot better than any of us ever will. I guess I'll answer this question with a question... what do you think he is doing right that you are not?

Before you can get to the root cause of anything you have to suspend what you believe from what you observe. In this case you can not take at face value prevailing wisdom. In this case the truth about what works with MOST women that is discussed on this forum... again this is all MOST women, clearly your brother is swimming against prevailing wisdom, so you have to toss that sh1t out. then look at the differences between you and him and try to see the difference.

Anyway, I'm not saying this is happening with your brother, because I don't know him. However, in my experience when I see dudes who have success against the prevailing wisdom, it is because he is edgy... willing to take serious risks, not only do the swim, against prevailing wisdom, they swim against societal expectations. Think of what we might call 'the thug', many chicks love these guys... and it isn't because they have emotional self-control because your 'thug' HAS NO emotional self-control... he is almost always running with his emotions, he might be able to control his emotions when it comes to chicks, but that's it... I another dude p1sses him off, he reacts violently, if he sees something he wants... he just takes it. Now MOST chicks love guys that display emotional self control, but there is a significant minority of women (mostly younger) that LOVE this, a man without emotional self-control CAN BE manipulated, and this is attractive to women.

Another thing is that they make an effort to get with these women... he might not be concerned at all if a chick just shoots him down, he gets sexual quickly and isn't worried about what she might think. I don't care how screwed up you might be in your life, if you are willing to put yourself out there and TRY... and not care what might happen, you will get results. Your success rate is going to be VERY low with most women, and these chicks are not going to hang around very long, but the simple truth is that if you are doing this with 100 women you come across in a month, you will get at least a couple to go along with you regardless of your circumstances. You are only seeing his success, you are not seeing the 20 other times he was shot down.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Well... hard to say with your brother... you know him a lot better than any of us ever will. I guess I'll answer this question with a question... what do you think he is doing right that you are not?

Before you can get to the root cause of anything you have to suspend what you believe from what you observe. In this case you can not take at face value prevailing wisdom. In this case the truth about what works with MOST women that is discussed on this forum... again this is all MOST women, clearly your brother is swimming against prevailing wisdom, so you have to toss that sh1t out. then look at the differences between you and him and try to see the difference.

Anyway, I'm not saying this is happening with your brother, because I don't know him. However, in my experience when I see dudes who have success against the prevailing wisdom, it is because he is edgy... willing to take serious risks, not only do the swim, against prevailing wisdom, they swim against societal expectations. Think of what we might call 'the thug', many chicks love these guys... and it isn't because they have emotional self-control because your 'thug' HAS NO emotional self-control... he is almost always running with his emotions, he might be able to control his emotions when it comes to chicks, but that's it... I another dude p1sses him off, he reacts violently, if he sees something he wants... he just takes it. Now MOST chicks love guys that display emotional self control, but there is a significant minority of women (mostly younger) that LOVE this, a man without emotional self-control CAN BE manipulated, and this is attractive to women.

Another thing is that they make an effort to get with these women... he might not be concerned at all if a chick just shoots him down, he gets sexual quickly and isn't worried about what she might think. I don't care how screwed up you might be in your life, if you are willing to put yourself out there and TRY... and not care what might happen, you will get results. Your success rate is going to be VERY low with most women, and these chicks are not going to hang around very long, but the simple truth is that if you are doing this with 100 women you come across in a month, you will get at least a couple to go along with you regardless of your circumstances. You are only seeing his success, you are not seeing the 20 other times he was shot down.

He’s not a thug. He believes in sjw stuff, has all his vaccinations, typical herd mentality guy. He does have an air of superiority but it’s comical to me because he can’t back it up by anything. If he got punched in the face he’d probably die he’s so thin.

he runs from confrontation except in sjw matters where he defends the sjw stuff with serious zeal.
Compared to me who can knock doors for a living, he takes no risks whatsoever.

what he’s doing different is being a mommas boy (my moms favorite) he is sociable but funny. He can force people to laugh because he says redicilous stuff that just makes you laugh. He has that air of superiority I mentioned but no idea why or what justifies it. I see him as a faux alpha but results are results.

 

[RangerMIke]

He’s not a thug. He believes in sjw stuff, has all his vaccinations, typical herd mentality guy. He does have an air of superiority but it’s comical to me because he can’t back it up by anything. If he got punched in the face he’d probably die he’s so thin.

I didn't say he was a thug... I used the 'thug' as an example of a man that a lot of hot chicks gravitate towards. Again, prevailing wisdom says women are not attracted to men that do not have emotional self-control. This goes against prevailing wisdom. Thugs are actually weak @ss men, they respond the way they do for short term gain, they are actually very scared little men, they act the way they do because they are afraid of being perceived as weak.

Your brother is also someone without emotional self-control, he also behaves the way he does because he is afraid of how he is perceived.

The bottom line here is that weak men can be successful with women if they make an effort to get them. However, a weak man will always have a hard time keeping them long term... because eventually the weak behavior will hurt them... for a thug, this manifests itself in getting taken out by a bigger thug, or stabbed in the back by one of his 'friends', or end up in jail, or all three. Someone like your brother... well his weak behavior will manifest itself by getting taken by someone else, and chicks will lose confidence in his ability to stand up for her.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I didn't say he was a thug... I used the 'thug' as an example of a man that a lot of hot chicks gravitate towards. Again, prevailing wisdom says women are not attracted to men that do not have emotional self-control. This goes against prevailing wisdom. Thugs are actually weak @ss men, they respond the way they do for short term gain, they are actually very scared little men, they act the way they do because they are afraid of being perceived as weak.

Your brother is also someone without emotional self-control, he also behaves the way he does because he is afraid of how he is perceived.

The bottom line here is that weak men can be successful with women if they make an effort to get them. However, a weak man will always have a hard time keeping them long term... because eventually the weak behavior will hurt them... for a thug, this manifests itself in getting taken out by a bigger thug, or stabbed in the back by one of his 'friends', or end up in jail, or all three. Someone like your brother... well his weak behavior will manifest itself by getting taken by someone else, and chicks will lose confidence in his ability to stand up for her.

Well to be fair, I dont stand up for a woman either. Nor am I a fighter. But I can stand up for myself verbally or, in the case of the situation my brother was in, I would have simply bypassed the douche and bought my eye drops. He would be powerless to stop me and his chest beating would be proven useless.

but are you saying a man who is able to be manipulated is attractive to hot women?

 

[RangerMIke]

but are you saying a man who is able to be manipulated is attractive to hot women?

No I'm not saying that either... I think what I said is that MOST women are not attracted to this, but there are a significant minority of women (mostly young) that are.

Three of the most attractive young women I have met in the last 5 years are all in relationships with what I would consider worthless men. But again, this is MY perception, what I see and what I think is completely irrelevant to attraction and interest. The ONLY thing that matters if THE CHICK'S PERCEPTION.

The common thread here is that ALL these women are all very well educated (all went to Ivy League schools) from really good families (all of them come from successful parents that are still together), all are what I would say are on the extreme liberal end of the political spectrum, and finally the most important part is they are ALL in their 20s.

Young women think they have time... they believe that they can waste their time in their 20s flittering around like emotional butterflies, they really do not think they have consequences... why not spend time fvcking losers... who cares... they think that one the want to get 'serious' about finding a quality partner, they will be able to flip a switch and make that happen. The truth is that in many cases, that is completely true, as long as she doesn't wait too long.

 

[SargeMaximus]

No I'm not saying that either... I think what I said is that MOST women are not attracted to this, but there are a significant minority of women (mostly young) that are.

Three of the most attractive young women I have met in the last 5 years are all in relationships with what I would consider worthless men. But again, this is MY perception, what I see and what I think is completely irrelevant to attraction and interest. The ONLY thing that matters if THE CHICK'S PERCEPTION.

The common thread here is that ALL these women are all very well educated (all went to Ivy League schools) from really good families (all of them come from successful parents that are still together), all are what I would say are on the extreme liberal end of the political spectrum, and finally the most important part is they are ALL in their 20s.

Young women think they have time... they believe that they can waste their time in their 20s flittering around like emotional butterflies, they really do not think they have consequences... why not spend time fvcking losers... who cares... they think that one the want to get 'serious' about finding a quality partner, they will be able to flip a switch and make that happen. The truth is that in many cases, that is completely true, as long as she doesn't wait too long.

Ok but the question remains: what is attracting these girls to fvck these “losers”?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Theres no "x-factor' per se

The x-factor is 10+ years experience in the field with a lot of fvck up's and mistakes and also having balls of steel and endurance

I'd back myself to approach and escalate any woman i want , but that still doesn't mean i'm getting laid you still need the following

The right chick
The right location
The right time
The right Vibe

Its a tricky concoction to nail and one ( time ) is always completely out of your control anyway

 

[IKO69]

It is self belief.

I have known all types of guys. Guys with looks, money, connections etc. If they had any combination of those things it was easier on the surface yeah, but they also felt it should be a piece of cake. It was natural for them to meet and get with women.

On the other hand I have known guys with the above advantages and still fail with women - usually there was some strange belief that they weren't good enough or something. I've also known guys that didn't have those advantages and yet they still got women. Same thing - they felt it was perfectly reasonable to meet and get with them.

It's the same reason why someone can get up there and talk a bunch of **** and be convincing. You know the person is full of **** but the fact they can make it forceful and seem sincere manages to hook a lot of people. It's the same psychology.

A good friend who is a "DJ" is like this. He's this like 5'6 Israeli guy who has a big personality. He works as a marketing exec for a biotech company and he is really good with people/knows how to work a room like a mother ****er. Once the women find out he has a good job it's pretty much over, but they were long hooked before he ever got to the part and would've probably gone for him even if he said he was a boring accountant or something. It makes a difference when he goes to some of the high end steakhouses around here - that's where he meets women. They are a bit more on the materialistic side but he promises the world only to pump and dump. And yes, he is in his early 40's and regularly gets with women in the early to mid 20's age bracket. Because he dumps them he maintains the upper hand and more often then not ends up ****ing them again at a later time months later.

 

[RangerMIke]

Ok but the question remains: what is attracting these girls to fvck these “losers”?

Simple... these guys meet the minimum physical characteristics a chick might find attractive. And then these dudes try to make something happen. It's really not rocket science. It's hit or miss for the dude, but you miss 100% of the pitches you don't swing at.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Simple... these guys meet the minimum physical characteristics a chick might find attractive. And then these dudes try to make something happen. It's really not rocket science. It's hit or miss for the dude, but you miss 100% of the pitches you don't swing at.

No I don’t think it’s that simple. I’ve gone out with my brother for lunch or breakfast many times and I swear the cute waitressess seem more interested and even fawning over him than me. Side by side, he obviously has something I don’t.

 

[RangerMIke]

No I don’t think it’s that simple. I’ve gone out with my brother for lunch or breakfast many times and I swear the cute waitressess seem more interested and even fawning over him than me. Side by side, he obviously has something I don’t.

Well... you know him better than the rest of us... I'll go back to what I said before... what do you think it is? If you don't know how in the hell he does this wonderous feat, how would anyone on this board know? Is he some kind of magical creature? Really, what do you think it is?

 

[SargeMaximus]

Well... you know him better than the rest of us... I'll go back to what I said before... what do you think it is? If you don't know how in the hell he does this wonderous feat, how would anyone on this board know? Is he some kind of magical creature? Really, what do you think it is?

Well reading what Bingo-Player says about my convo skills and text game, It’s likely his verbal game. But how that exceeds all the other shortfalls, it must be the X factor.

I myself cannot stand the pua/gamey convo style it literally repulses me and takes considerable effort to pull off.But if that’s it, I guess I should try to learn how to do it. I just don’t know how. Even if someone gave me a perfect script for every possible combinationof responses to what a woman says, I’d eventually run out because I’m not naturally wired to comprehend it or speak it. It’s just not me. Feel a bit hopeless in that regard

 

[SargeMaximus]

It sounds like your brother is financially well off and young, that is pretty much the x factor.

He works as a cashier at an arcade. Real well off

 

[SargeMaximus]

I thought you said he owns the home? Also I edited my last message but you quoted before posted

No, never said that. We both rent a basement suite. He’s been sleeping on the couch for like 5 years till my ex gave me a queen sized bed, then I gave him my single bed.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

No, never said that. We both rent a basement suite. He’s been sleeping on the couch for like 5 years till my ex gave me a queen sized bed, then I gave him my single bed.

Oh my bad disregard my post then.

I think younger women today are a lot less critical than older women... Like dealing with 18-24 is a pleasure but 35+ is like pulling teeth