Where do I go from here?

[TheNewStyle123]

What's up boys.

Recently I met this Brazilian chick (HB 8). So far we have gone on three dates. First date was drinks and an app at a local spot. Plenty of kino, and by the end of the first date I was holding her hand while I walked to her to car and made out before saying goodbye.

Second date was coffee then a walk around this trail near my place. Secluded areas with plenty of making out and kino (she was even straddling me on a bench at one point). She had to use the bathroom towards the end of the date, so when we got back to my apartment (where she had parked prior to me driving us to the location) she went upstairs to my place to use the bathroom. We sat for a few minutes and talked in my apartment, but she had to get going to work (which was established prior to the date). I wasn't expecting to just buck her in my apartment on the second date though, as she is pretty reserved and displays a lot of ASD. This girl is hot and she knows it, and I think she has been burned in the past. She is also showing a lot of signs of liking me as LTR material (future talk, mentioning that she has already told her friends about me, and calling me "her americano").

Anyways, she came over tonight. I made us dinner (had her help by chopping some stuff for the salad) and she brought over some wine. TBH my plan going into it was not expecting sex. Trust me, I wanted it to happen and if the moment was right, I would strike. But, I had a feeling this girl's ASD would still be up high. After dinner we were dancing and making out more, and genuinely having a great time. Eventually we were making out on my couch, she was straddling me, kissing men ear, and I went to kiss her exposed cleavage but she stopped me and said "baby... what are you doing?" in a way where she knew exactly what I was doing, but wanted to make sure I got the message she didn't want me to continue. I played it cool, aloof. I stopped and took a sip of my wine and stopped all kino.

Naturally, she was all over me. We escalated again and I tried the same thing maybe 10 minutes later, but she had the same response. I played it cool again and excused myself to the bathroom. When I got out she said, "ok baby, it's getting late, I should go soon. Give me a few more kisses though." I said "yeah, it is getting late and I'm getting tired. I'll walk you out now." I kissed her once, led her to the door, and walked her out.

She texted me when she got home "thank you so much for dinner - I had a great time! (kissing emoji)
I said: I'm glad you made it home safe, thank you for the wine!"
She said: "Next time I will make caipirinhas (Brazilian drink)
I just sent a wink emoji back.
She said "That is, if you want to see me again! (with a wink and smile emoji)

I did not respond to her last text. I want this girl to know I am not here just to hang out and have dinner and drinks while providing attention. Based on her behavior I think this girl wants a LTR with me and is demonstrating a lot of ASD. I think if I continue to play it really aloof I may be able to buck still. My plan at this point is S&D - I am certain she will text me tomorrow. After than, my plan would be to have her to my place again on Sunday, this time, she will cook us a meal.

If we don't escalate to at least oral on the fourth date at my place - I think that is grounds for nexting. Thoughts?

Thanks boys.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sounds like you've got it down to a science to me. When she gives the red light, you withdraw, but not in a deferring way, but in a "withdrawing your attention" way. I noticed that you did this three times. I'm assuming that this is the same gal you mentioned bringing over the wine on your first date.

Let's say that you score on the 4th date and then the victory is over and you lose interest. I wonder how she'll play things out for the next guy she finds interesting. I say this because... her current behavior might be a result of someone else doing this exact scenario before meeting you. --- I realize that this doesn't offer any aid to sealing the deal, but it might provide an explanation toward her behavior.

If you see her a forth time, my advice is if she pulls away again, you suggest that it's getting late and attempt to casually 'end the evening.' Either she'll act disappointed and angry, or she'll agree ... or she'll lead you to new territory. No matter the outcome, you'll be left with no more uncertainty.

If we don't escalate to at least oral on the fourth date at my place - I think that is grounds for nexting. Thoughts?

If you like her and she at least offers you a hand, you might consider giving her a hall pass.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Sounds like you've got it down to a science to me. When she gives the red light, you withdraw, but not in a deferring way, but in a "withdrawing your attention" way. I noticed that you did this three times. I'm assuming that this is the same gal you mentioned bringing over the wine on your first date.

Let's say that you score on the 4th date and then the victory is over and you lose interest. I wonder how she'll play things out for the next guy she finds interesting. I say this because... her current behavior might be a result of someone else doing this exact scenario before meeting you. --- I realize that this doesn't offer any aid to sealing the deal, but it might provide an explanation toward her behavior.

If you see her a forth time, my advice is if she pulls away again, you suggest that it's getting late and attempt to casually 'end the evening.' Either she'll act disappointed and angry, or she'll agree ... or she'll lead you to new territory. No matter the outcome, you'll be left with no more uncertainty.



If you like her and she at least offers you a hand, you might consider giving her a hall pass.

Thanks man, I appreciate it! And no this is not the one that brought wine on the first date. This is a new girl

 

[SW15]

It seems like you are getting a lot of resistance from Latina women who might be looking more for LTRs whereas you are not necessarily looking for an LTR. That seems to be the essence of all of your interactions.

I've not gotten much resistance from women when things turn amorous over time but I've had the problem of flaking prior to that time, especially when I was using websites (pre-swipe apps) and swipe apps to find dates.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

It seems like you are getting a lot of resistance from Latina women who might be looking more for LTRs whereas you are not necessarily looking for an LTR. That seems to be the essence of all of your interactions.

I've not gotten much resistance from women when things turn amorous over time but I've had the problem of flaking prior to that time, especially when I was using websites (pre-swipe apps) and swipe apps to find dates.

Amen to that dude. All of these latina women I meet want to end up dating me and push the LTR with no escalation to sex. Frustrating. Do women seriously expect commitment and exclusivity without having sex? Why would one ever enter a relationship without knowing if the sex is good? Ridiculous..

 

[TheNewStyle123]

As expected, she has already texted me "good morning!", after I did not reply to her text last night.

 

[SW15]

All of these latina women I meet want to end up dating me and push the LTR with no escalation to sex. Frustrating. Do women seriously expect commitment and exclusivity without having sex? Why would one ever enter a relationship without knowing if the sex is good? Ridiculous..

I can see the woman's point of view in asking for exclusivity before sex. It's a high value move on the part of a woman. A woman's vagina has value in the sexual/mating marketplace. Asking for exclusivity isn't unreasonable given that her vagina has big value, especially as a woman in her 20s who has a limited window of peak desirability. You are dealing with women in their 20s at peak value.

With Latinas as well, especially foreign born Latinas, they can make the argument that they offer a refreshing personality alternative to careerist/feminist U.S. born white women. That might make their vaginas more valuable in the sexual/mating marketplace. I think that might be a more common approach for a Latina when interacting with a white man.

As expected, she has already texted me "good morning!", after I did not reply to her text last night.

That's more common from Latinas than U.S. born white women. They tend to make more of an effort.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I can see the woman's point of view in asking for exclusivity before sex. It's a high value move on the part of a woman. A woman's vagina has value in the sexual/mating marketplace. Asking for exclusivity isn't unreasonable given that her vagina has big value, especially as a woman in her 20s who has a limited window of peak desirability. You are dealing with women in their 20s at peak value.

With Latinas as well, especially foreign born Latinas, they can make the argument that they offer a refreshing personality alternative to careerist/feminist U.S. born white women. That might make their vaginas more valuable in the sexual/mating marketplace. I think that might be a more common approach for a Latina when interacting with a white man.



That's more common from Latinas than U.S. born white women. They tend to make more of an effort.

Bro, I didn't answer and she just sent me a voice message now! So what is the move here... do I try to go on a fourth date with her? Or is this pointless? Sounds like I need to show complete exclusivity before being able to buck this one?

I can't tell if I am mistaking her IL for manipulation and attempts to get more attention from me.

 

[SW15]

Bro, I didn't answer and she just sent me a voice message now! So what is the move here... do I try to go on a fourth date with her? Or is this pointless? Sounds like I need to show complete exclusivity before being able to buck this one?

I can't tell if I am mistaking her IL for manipulation and attempts to get more attention from me.

It's worth going on a 4th date and seeing if her behavior qualifies or disqualifies her from further interaction.

Multiple Latinas have refused sex with you within the first 3 dates. They might be seeing you as having LTR potential or they want LTRs with men in general.

The sort of interest levels you're seeing in their behavior are unheard of with white women you'd meet off of swipe apps in my city. White women (the women I've mainly interacted with) in my city are known for their apathy, especially off of swipe apps. When a white woman from a swipe app or even a cold approach shows this IL in my area, it is likely that you've banged her well, you're muscular, and you have high income/net worth. The threshold for this IL from white women would be lower if met through social circle.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

It's worth going on a 4th date and seeing if her behavior qualifies or disqualifies her from further interaction.

Multiple Latinas have refused sex with you within the first 3 dates. They might be seeing you as having LTR potential or they want LTRs with men in general.

The sort of interest levels you're seeing in their behavior are unheard of with white women you'd meet off of swipe apps in my city. White women (the women I've mainly interacted with) in my city are known for their apathy, especially off of swipe apps. When a white woman from a swipe app or even a cold approach shows this IL in my area, it is likely that you've banged her well, you're muscular, and you have high income/net worth. The threshold for this IL from white women would be lower if met through social circle.

Maybe I'll try a fourth date on Sunday then, and if nothing, on to the next. She is definitely interested. She has now sent me 3 voice messages that I have not opened yet.. Or she is just crazy. Probably both?

 

[TheNewStyle123]

She just hit me with the "I have a question. Do you want to keep seeing me?"

I didn't reply. And a few minutes later "Because if you do I don't want to keep texting you and bothering you."

I would love to keep seeing her.... if she would do more than just make out on my couch.. smh.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Dude, all your stories sound like you try on the same woman again and again.

She just hit me with the "I have a question. Do you want to keep seeing me?"

I didn't reply. And a few minutes later "Because if you do I don't want to keep texting you and bothering you."

I would love to keep seeing her.... if she would do more than just make out on my couch.. smh.

Dont overdo it with letting her wait for reply´s. You can overdo it once you have banged her.

You dated the other girls 4+ times too.... so might as well give this one a shot.

Let us know how it turns out!

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Dude, all your stories sound like you try on the same woman again and again.



Dont overdo it with letting her wait for reply´s. You can overdo it once you have banged her.

You dated the other girls 4+ times too.... so might as well give this one a shot.

Let us know how it turns out!

Hahaha I know dude, right?! My friends say I need to stop chasing after latinas. I tell them they're crazy lol. I think I will give this one more shot on Sunday.

 

[2Rocky]

Her interest level sounds really good. Don't signal that you AREN'T interested by not responding.

I'd probably respond that you "have been real busy,...And I'd love a quiet night in at my place Sunday. Bring whatever you like to sleep in. "

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Her interest level sounds really good. Don't signal that you AREN'T interested by not responding.

I'd probably respond that you "have been real busy,...And I'd love a quiet night in at my place Sunday. Bring whatever you like to sleep in. "

That's what I am thinking man. Despite the lack of escalation yet, IL seems high. She was excited that I asked to hang out again. She is coming to my place Sunday and SHE is making us food this time. But, I feel like if there isn't even oral this time, probably not worth pursuing?

 

[speed dawg]

IL 'sounds' high, but I would caution you that it might be the newness that has her all excited. I think you need to make sure your frame isn't showing any clinginess or anything like that. And don't play games with her by not responding, that's a surefire way for her to know she's got you. She senses it, is my feeling.

Relax, don't get butthurt, and see her again, and see what happens. You've got to keep gaming her when she rejects your advances, but you've got to do it the right way, make jokes, have fun. Don't get upset or do anything forceful, that's a 100% turnoff.

 

[2Rocky]

That's what I am thinking man. Despite the lack of escalation yet, IL seems high. She was excited that I asked to hang out again. She is coming to my place Sunday and SHE is making us food this time. But, I feel like if there isn't even oral this time, probably not worth pursuing?

It is up to you to set the tone not an If/Then scenario. You need to communicate that you are a lover. that you show your affection through physicality. That you can make her feel good and you aren't afraid to talk about it. Now I don't mean going into gory detail right off the bat but letting her know you like sex and you appreciate a woman who does too. it is imperative you give her the clear signal that you don't Judge her for having sex and enjoying it. to the tone of "I love how passionate Latina women are. I love the way Latinas show their enjoyment when I make them feel good. What makes you feel good?"

What is not clear to me is what age woman we are talking about here. Is this a young inexperienced girl who could be a virgin? Is this a girl who has been P&D'ed too many times? Does she live with her parents still? Is she worried about getting pregnant or catching an STD?
Something is holding her back and you need to know what it is.

 

[2Rocky]

But remember I'm Dealing with women in their 30's and 40's. They have been in Sexual relationships and many of them have already had a kid or two. They know what's up and they aren't afraid to enjoy themselves so long as you protect their reputation.

The last 4/5 women I kissed prior to my LTR I had sex with the same night. The one I didn't was out with her friends who I knew also, and she texted me the next morning wanting to "hang out". I did not follow up with her and my LTR became exclusive after that.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

But remember I'm Dealing with women in their 30's and 40's. They have been in Sexual relationships and many of them have already had a kid or two. They know what's up and they aren't afraid to enjoy themselves so long as you protect their reputation.

The last 4/5 women I kissed prior to my LTR I had sex with the same night. The one I didn't was out with her friends who I knew also, and she texted me the next morning wanting to "hang out". I did not follow up with her and my LTR became exclusive after that.

This is all great advice man!! And she is 27

 

[TheNewStyle123]

It is up to you to set the tone not an If/Then scenario. You need to communicate that you are a lover. that you show your affection through physicality. That you can make her feel good and you aren't afraid to talk about it. Now I don't mean going into gory detail right off the bat but letting her know you like sex and you appreciate a woman who does too. it is imperative you give her the clear signal that you don't Judge her for having sex and enjoying it. to the tone of "I love how passionate Latina women are. I love the way Latinas show their enjoyment when I make them feel good. What makes you feel good?"

What is not clear to me is what age woman we are talking about here. Is this a young inexperienced girl who could be a virgin? Is this a girl who has been P&D'ed too many times? Does she live with her parents still? Is she worried about getting pregnant or catching an STD?
Something is holding her back and you need to know what it is.

Great tips, I am definitely going to be vocal but not gory or over the top about it