Honey

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,252
Reaction score
4,747
Age
44
I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.
I'm going to do an experiment. Tomorrow I'll call every woman I meet "pumpkin puss". I'll let you know how I get on.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,512
Reaction score
4,274
Age
38
I am called "darling" by a couple of older female attorneys I work with. They are approximately 20 years older than me and we share a very friendly, flirtatious, but platonic relationship. I would say you may call it somewhat unprofessional, although I have zero sexual interest in them. But it's fun.

If the roles were reversed I could see it being a problem. There is a clear double standard where women can use these little pet names under the right circumstances and if a man does it society will label it "creepy" or "inappropriate." I have gotten the "hun" or "honey" from waitresses too. I guess based off my experience I don't think it necessarily denotes anything about class but more just highlights how differently society looks at the sexes.
 

Guy69JackBlue

Banned
Joined
Apr 5, 2021
Messages
1,182
Reaction score
574
Age
44
I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.
I find it extremely offensive and an obvious attempt to extract resources from you.

I have tipped bartenders and waitresses ZERO many times for calling me pet names.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,710
Reaction score
7,754
Location
USA, Louisiana
I live in New Orleans... doing stuff like this is normal and actually expected. I've had women I just met kiss me on the lips... it's really nothing here. I guess it all depends on location and context. People here are always hugging and kissing each other.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
I find it extremely offensive and an obvious attempt to extract resources from you.
It's not all about tipping though. I've noticed this a lot from female gas station attendants.
 

Guy69JackBlue

Banned
Joined
Apr 5, 2021
Messages
1,182
Reaction score
574
Age
44
It's not all about tipping though. I've noticed this a lot from female gas station attendants.
Me too. I find it condescending every time.

I don't know them well enough for them to call me sweetie. And the people they actually know and respect... They don't call sweetie.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,845
Reaction score
2,170
If I hear any word of endearment like that, to me, it's a crossing of a boundary which means I need to explore that by making physical contact with her and gauging a response and let's just say, hearing this is typically blood in the water.

To me, it's her communicating that "I'm into you but you need to be more masculine"
 

Guy69JackBlue

Banned
Joined
Apr 5, 2021
Messages
1,182
Reaction score
574
Age
44
If I hear any word of endearment like that, to me, it's a crossing of a boundary which means I need to explore that by making physical contact with her and gauging a response and let's just say, hearing this is typically blood in the water.

To me, it's her communicating that "I'm into you but you need to be more masculine"
A complete stranger cannot be into you like that. And that's usually who calls you these things.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,845
Reaction score
2,170
A complete stranger cannot be into you like that. And that's usually who calls you these things.
Doesn't matter, it's become instinct for me, I might be headed into a shut down, rejection, that's fine, it's the attempt
 

Guy69JackBlue

Banned
Joined
Apr 5, 2021
Messages
1,182
Reaction score
574
Age
44
Doesn't matter, it's become instinct for me, I might be headed into a shut down, rejection, that's fine, it's the attempt
When a stranger calls me sweetie.... I'M the one who shuts down. I refuse to acknowledge their presence after that point.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
Me too. I find it condescending every time.

I don't know them well enough for them to call me sweetie. And the people they actually know and respect... They don't call sweetie.
I also find it condescending, I'm not sure why. As for the people they actually know and respect, I have no idea how they treat them, because they are strangers, after all.

To me, it's her communicating that "I'm into you but you need to be more masculine"
You can respond to it however you like, but I don't see it as being about me at all. As I've said, these women seem to call all the males they encounter "hon" or whatever.
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,641
Reaction score
1,349
Location
random
overthinking this one.

Before, older men used to do this all of the time with younger females, in the 60s, 70s, and before. It was common dialog. It is the mark of a self-confident person, man or woman, and then perhaps from habit.

Hi Sir...
Hi sweetie..

different vibe, but both are positive however sweetie is less formal. it is also a substitution for "what is your name, hi <name>.."

some still do it, but with the huge focus on keeping men contained it is one of the casualties and we are not better for losing it.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
some still do it, but with the huge focus on keeping men contained it is one of the casualties and we are not better for losing it.
If I understand you correctly, that's an interesting point. A guy from the '50s calling a random girl sweetie has a feel of putting her in her place, or establishing dominance over her. Or not really establishing dominance, more like referencing a dominance that is already there. We've lost that, and the woke crowd would likely crack down a guy who goes around calling women sweetie now.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
In the South, this practice is still everyday common. I recall some young waitress using these terms (can't remember which particular word) but it made me think.
I was thinking that it seemed out of place (due to her young age). I never cared for these terms because it seems 'too familiar' for my liking.
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,839
Reaction score
4,537
I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.
I don’t know the answer to your question but I find few things more annoying than women calling me “hon”. If a waitress does that, it will automatically affect her tip. It’s such a stupid word if you think about it.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,675
Reaction score
15,830
I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.
I know guys that call women "Dear". That's the closest thing I can think of.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,715
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Today at lunch, the bartender chick said “What’s up my dear?” She says that every time. Doesn’t phase me at all.

I don’t find it condescending. I’m VERY aware of when people talk down to me. But hon/sweetie/dear from female waitstaff/bartenders doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s intended to be neutral to slightly friendly. Also had a gay waiter call me hon. No harm there either.

Straight guy staff will call me man/bud/sir or sometimes “boss.” The last one is kinda weird and could possibly be condescending depending on the tone.

If a chick is rude to me, it’s usually in nonverbal ways. Sighs, eyerolls, lack of eye contact and other dismissive body language.

Being called hon/sweetie/dear is the least of my concerns with women.
 
Last edited:

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Top