I have a feeling she's going to cancel the date?

[Sgthaytham]

So Tuesday I asked how her schedule would be this week.

She told me, so I asked if she was up for a restaurant at 8pm.

Stupidly, I forgot to mention the day, so she thought I was asking her out Tuesday.

I replied "I mean Friday, sorry" and she replied "Ah yes that should be good".

I don't know, but there's something about her response that makes me think she'll envutally cancel? What do you guys think?

 

[Sgthaytham]

No need for analysization of the text. Yes, I'm inventing a new word.

Call her - not text - call her....and tell her what restaurant y'all are going to.

Is this your first or second date? If so, meet her there.

If it's your 3rd or 4th, pick her up at 7:45.

It's just, to me, the 'Should be good' part that's bothering... like it's almost 'Yes... unless something else comes up"

We did go on an evening walk last week, she actually messaged me 30 mins before if it was still happening

 

[Serenity]

What do you guys think?

Why do you want an answer to this? You either go to find out or you pvssy out. If she cancels she cancels, no big deal.

 

[isasda66]

Why do you want an answer to this? You either go to find out or you pvssy out. If she cancels she cancels, no big deal. others get priority over her.

If she gives more than 24 hours notice, then it's cool right? Otherwise I'd treat it as flake and de-prioritize her

 

[Sgthaytham]

If she gives more than 24 hours notice, then it's cool right? Otherwise I'd treat it as flake and de-prioritize her

Welln you see, last week we went out... I asked her out 2-3 days in advance and left it at that. The day of the date (Wednesday last week) she sent me a text asking if it was still happening and we went on it.

 

[isasda66]

Welln you see, last week we went out... I asked her out 2-3 days in advance and left it at that. The day of the date (Wednesday last week) she sent me a text asking if it was still happening and we went on it.

That's a good sign. Sometimes it means she was looking forward to it.

 

[Sgthaytham]

That's a good sign. Sometimes it means she was looking forward to it.

I see. I really, really messed things up with her a few weeks back. We didn't speak at all until she sent me a bday message.

Then last week I asked her. Made her laugh, we joked around, she even teased me. I apologised for being a jerk and a loudmouth.

Things seemed to be good. She's still a bit cold towards me though.

Edit: Also, when we dated before, I would schedule the date and leave it at that. Didn't need to confirm the day of or the day before.

 

[isasda66]

I apologised for being a jerk and a loudmouth.

Never apologize directly. Better to say it like Bill Clinton "mistakes were made"

If she's cold you go sub-zero.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Never apologize directly. Better to say it like Bill Clinton "mistakes were made"

If she's cold you go sub-zero.

The apology was deserved, I was an absolute ****

 

[Glassguy]

Also, when we dated before, I would schedule the date and leave it at that. Didn't need to confirm the day of or the day before.

Then why would you change doing something that worked before with her? You are too much in her frame and THAT is what will backfire.

A trick that I use is this- If I am meeting a chick out at 8pm, I will text her around 7 and say "Might be running a few minutes late....but should be there close to 8pm".

Then see what they respond with.

Live in a world where you control your emotions and realize you cant control anything else but YOU. They cancel? Good. They saved me $40 on drinks and appetizers. Something came up and they need to reschedule for sometime later with no clear cut day and time? Good. They saved me $40 and I instantly withdraw ALL attention.

Truth is, you guys should be in a frame with OPTIONS that makes the WOMAN reach out to you to confirm. Not the other way around.

You obviously dated this chick before- why the date? Why not tell her to come over and hang out?

 

[Sgthaytham]

Then why would you change doing something that worked before with her? You are too much in her frame and THAT is what will backfire.

A trick that I use is this- If I am meeting a chick out at 8pm, I will text her around 7 and say "Might be running a few minutes late....but should be there close to 8pm".

Then see what they respond with.

Live in a world where you control your emotions and realize you cant control anything else but YOU. They cancel? Good. They saved me $40 on drinks and appetizers. Something came up and they need to reschedule for sometime later with no clear cut day and time? Good. They saved me $40 and I instantly withdraw ALL attention.

Truth is, you guys should be in a frame with OPTIONS that makes the WOMAN reach out to you to confirm. Not the other way around.

You obviously dated this chick before- why the date? Why not tell her to come over and hang out?

Truth is we dated for like 2 months but then I majorly messed up: I spilled the beans of private stuff with some friends and she found out. She was cold with me for 3 weeks and we didn't speak. Then she sent me a message on my bday. A few days later I asked her out, we went for a walk to the park in the evening, laughed and joked around and I went in for the kiss.

I mean I could have invited her over for a meal and a bottle of wine, that would have been a good plan, but I decided on the restaurant.

I like you idea of sending her that text though, it's like an indirect confirmation message. I don't usually send confirmations because there really isn't any need especially if the date is accepted.

 

[Glassguy]

I like you idea of sending her that text though, it's like an indirect confirmation message. I don't usually send confirmations because there really isn't any need especially if the date is accepted.

Confirmation texts are a question.

The way I phrase it is a statement. Thats the difference.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Just my $.02 (assuming you have not had sex with her?):

- I don't ask how her schedule is
- I don't do dinner (restaurant) dates - cooking at home is fine
- I don't do Friday/Saturday dates, usually
- I don't say "sorry" unless it's truly merited
- I don't worry if she cancels because it just frees up time to have fun alone or with friends/other girls

That's just me, though. And this all comes from shifting frame and paradigm. It's a wholesale attitude adjustment that bears itself out in the little details. For instance let's say I did feel like a Friday dinner date...I say: "I'm craving this brick oven pizza joint downtown, gonna go this Friday, you in? They've got a spicy diabolo. Lemme know." Worst case is I enjoy a pizza, which can be as good as sex sometimes, lol.

Whichever way you ask a girl out is totally up to you.

I ask for the schedule because it's a lot easier to select a day that suits us both

 

[Sgthaytham]

As predicted, she's cancelled. No reschedule.

Oh well! Onto the next one it is.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Right, and you were worried about her canceling, and she did.

Don't think it's down to how I asked her out, it's she's no longer interested.

 

[CoandaEffect]

As predicted, she's cancelled. No reschedule.

Oh well! Onto the next one it is.

Sorry she cancelled, but this is another example of anything other than an enthusiastic yes is actually a no.

You have the right attitude though, just move on.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Sorry she cancelled, but this is another example of anything other than an enthusiastic yes is actually a no.

You have the right attitude though, just move on.

I will reply "No problem we'll do it some other time. Have a nice evening" and then leave it at that, no contact.

And I'm just going to head to my mate's house tonight since he's having a party

 

[Serenity]

If she gives more than 24 hours notice, then it's cool right? Otherwise I'd treat it as flake and de-prioritize her

It's never cool to cancel last minute or just straight up ghost. I don't operate with hard limits, if her late cancellation would cause me to miss out on something else, whether that be 24 hours or 3 hours then I won't be happy about it. If I'm free anyways then I might be cool with it up until the time I have to get going, she'd have to reschedule though, I stop pushing on anyone who cancels.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Lo and behold...

She's rescheduled...

She's told me her schedule for next week... she's even asked if we can still do it tonight.



I'm not going to cancel the party I'm going to, that's for sure - he's a great friend who asked me a couple days ago, I told him if my plans (the date) fell through I would go.

 

[Glassguy]

Lo and behold...

She's rescheduled...

She's told me her schedule for next week... she's even asked if we can still do it tonight.



I'm not going to cancel the party I'm going to, that's for sure - he's a great friend who asked me a couple days ago, I told him if my plans (the date) fell through I would go.

why not tell her to come over for the after party tonight. Win/win