As I get older my friends seem to be really boring...

[RBK]

Yea, I know we all get boring as we age right? This isn't about people getting older and their priorities changing this post is about why 35+ year old dudes all of a sudden want to sit home with their wives.

I'm 37, married with an awesome wife and daughter. I have everything to be happy about in life. I love spending time with them. My social circle was always good and still have the same friends I had from my partying years. Some are married, some have girlfriends but they all seem to not want to do anything ever but sit home with their partners.

I think part of the situation is I own my own business and we do OK financially but I don't interact with a lot of people in my current position. It's a very small company and we make ends meet but there isn't a lot of social aspect there for me.

I like working out (injured currently so I can't spend more time in the GYM) cars and whiskey. Maybe I need to find a meetup group or something with some like minded dudes.

Anyone else run into this issue?

 

[DonJuanjr]

Yeah I recently reconnected with some old high school friends. Similar scenario, they have long term girlfriends(10 plus years), and kids. Either they are not interested in including me back in their social circles, or just want to stay home... Either way for me, they really aren't putting any effort in, so I am stopping with the effort also. I need to make a new social circle.

 

[Crissco]

Same with me, all my old friends still either A. Married B. Single and still party like its HS, or C. Want to stay home do nothing and smoke weed all day.

OP nice join date by the way haha

 

[RBK]

Same with me, all my old friends still either A. Married B. Single and still party like its HS, or C. Want to stay home do nothing and smoke weed all day.

OP nice join date by the way haha

I lurked for a longgg time. lol

 

[Crissco]

If any of you guys are from NY, i would be down to hang out, i need a new social circle as well

 

[SW15]

This is normal. I am 38 and my friends are in their early 30s. My male friends that I've made since moving to my current city are all married/LTR guys. Most have the suburban house now, all have acquired dogs, and none have children yet. They are totally in a different place from where I am. I am a renter in the main city and I do not have pets.

Most guys who are 30+ and married/in multi-year relationships tend to be boring guys.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I am 29 and just come out of a LTR my god it's been harder pulling my social circles back together than it has chicks

2 of my closest friends are 30 and honestly the way they talk you would swear they are 50+

one is in a relationship with the most boring needy woman i think i have ever met in my life .....if beta females are a thing she is one of them by his own admission the relationship is just a perpetual situationship

the other one ( his brother) is single and should be in the prime of his life , yet is constantly moping around longing for the life the brother has he keeps telling me he can't go on a night out anymore because his body cant cope with the hangovers

they are fvcking hard work and iv'e had to stop inviting them out because i feel like they are constantly judging me for actually enjoying my life and having fun

Does anyone else find this ? it's like after 30 life has got to get very corporate and professional and you better not dare try doing anything else

SO F@CKING BORING


I am coming to the states next year for a few months i hope to god i meet some interesting fun people

 

[SW15]

Does anyone else find this ? it's like after 30 life has got to get very corporate and professional and you better not dare try doing anything else

SO F@CKING BORING

I have found that there's a bit of copying in social circles. In my social circle, there was a flurry of marriages (multiple ones in the same calendar year) a few years ago. All the people knew each other. A lot of my social circle seems to be living identical lives by moving out of apartments in the city, moving out to the suburbs, and getting dogs. Dogs and couples get togethers in restaurants/at private homes seem to be how people exist.

 

[RBK]

Maybe i need to start a business, I always wanted to own a small bar. I dunno, I just feel so off in my life.

 

[Mazer]

I’m 43 and experiencing the same. I seem to have outgrown most of my friends. The majority of them are boring. They go to work, drink beer, mow the lawn and spend countless hours playing video games on their days off while their wives yell at them. On the other hand, I have ton of hobbies, go to the gym, and am always looking for ways to invest in myself, physically, mentally and financially. They have become lazy and no longer have a passion for life. My suggestion is to get involved in hobbies where you meet new people with similar interests. Good Luck

 

[jaymbrs]

Same. My social circle has diminished and not because my friends aren't able to hangout, it's because they choose not to for the same reasons as stated in posts before me. I also dislike having pen pals so I've let some of them go and stopped reaching out. I've been having to find new people to hang with, which is easier said than done to find replacements.

In fact I did a big no no and reached out to an ex who I enjoyed hanging out with. She was always down to go out and still is. But she's catching feelings again so this may turn ugly.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I have found that there's a bit of copying in social circles. In my social circle, there was a flurry of marriages (multiple ones in the same calendar year) a few years ago. All the people knew each other. A lot of my social circle seems to be living identical lives by moving out of apartments in the city, moving out to the suburbs, and getting dogs. Dogs and couples get togethers in restaurants/at private homes seem to be how people exist.

Definitely a case of monkey see monkey do ......even when i was in a relationship i found it fairly difficult to do the whole friends and family rigmarole because i often found it boring it's something i will accept in my 40's not in my 20's and 30's

I just feel a lot of people around me are cutting their ability to experience life way too early just for the sake of being in a relationship

Your body can only do certain things in its 20's and 30's you will not get that time again just wasting it away going through the motions in a half assed relationship seems absolutely baffling

What you will find is most of these people will hit 40 or 50 and then decide to cut the rope (hence mid life crisis) ......but by then it really is too late

 

[Epicenter]

The jackpot is when you enjoy doing boring stuff. The dog chasing cars makes most people miserable. You do not need to be a hero in your life to be someone.

When you get older you do not have a choice anyway. So get used to it.

 

[Bingo-Player]

When you get older you do not have a choice anyway. So get used to it.

That was my point , why actively waste your youth doing stuff your going to be forced to do later in life anyway

 

[SW15]

Definitely a case of monkey see monkey do ......even when i was in a relationship i found it fairly difficult to do the whole friends and family rigmarole because i often found it boring it's something i will accept in my 40's not in my 20's and 30's

I feel that same way. I look at my friends who are 32-35 and their lives are yuppie boring in their childless, suburban homes with their dogs. No one is having kids, even the ones who have been married for 3-4 years now and have 7+ year long relationships.

I look at my social circle and see all these 5+ year relationships with no kids and wonder how they're still together. I think many of them are together based upon inertia. Their current relationships are not fantastic but they are fearful to go out into the dating market because app swiping and cold approaching are a royal pain.

I just feel a lot of people around me are cutting their ability to experience life way too early just for the sake of being in a relationship

There are people who feel left out in they aren't in a relationship. Also, people in LTRs who are not married sometimes feel left out when there is a flurry of marriages in the social circle.

 

[RBK]

If any of you guys are from NY, i would be down to hang out, i need a new social circle as well

Where in NY area are you?

 

[Black Widow Void]

I hear you and have witnessed this many times. I refer to this syndrome as men being "Yoko Ono'ed."
It's going to get worse with each generation and here's why.

We are products of our environment. With more boys being raised in broken homes; they (usually) have women as their main role model.
To them, the male/female dynamics differ; typically with the woman being more dominant. Also, the young boy has probably been conditioned ( he receives more positive attention from his mother... if he defers).

And other times (a behavior that I've also seem demonstrated on this forum) there are men that can't seem to land a woman and so they project this 'tough guy' image. The moment they finally get a girl (or on this forum are having problems with a gal) you see how 'tough' they actually are not.

Take a look at your friends that are now voluntarily getting 'bottled-fed' by their wives or girlfriends. I'm betting that the above analogies probably apply.

 

[RickTheToad]

Yea, I know we all get boring as we age right? This isn't about people getting older and their priorities changing this post is about why 35+ year old dudes all of a sudden want to sit home with their wives.

I'm 37, married with an awesome wife and daughter. I have everything to be happy about in life. I love spending time with them. My social circle was always good and still have the same friends I had from my partying years. Some are married, some have girlfriends but they all seem to not want to do anything ever but sit home with their partners.

I think part of the situation is I own my own business and we do OK financially but I don't interact with a lot of people in my current position. It's a very small company and we make ends meet but there isn't a lot of social aspect there for me.

I like working out (injured currently so I can't spend more time in the GYM) cars and whiskey. Maybe I need to find a meetup group or something with some like minded dudes.

Anyone else run into this issue?

Define boring? Many people, if they work an exhausting job all week are tired and would like to relax and unwind. I do not see anything wrong with that?

 

[Crissco]

Where in NY area are you?

Hey man, sent you a PM, im in Long Island

 

[Barrister]

The grind will do this to people. It wears them down and makes them just want to sit at home.

However, one thing that is also hard for people to understand if they do not have kids is how much time and effort raising a kid the right way takes. I love going out, but I share custody of my daughter with my ex-wife. Having my daughter with me really limits what I can do with my social circle as far as my availability. Many of my friends have no children of their own and I think get this for the most part -- but I have been given a hard time before about not coming out to certain social events on weekends where I have my daughter. I don't know if your friends have children but do keep this in mind.

So I get both sides. I tend to always be out when I don't have her, but I tend to keep my time with her when it is my turn. Staying in just to stay in (lazy) or staying in because your girlfriend doesn't want to go out or won't let you go out without her is a completely different story.