The downside of being a party boy/player, my personal experience + How I started smashing baddies

[Paper Crane]

Thought this would be a good deviation from the regular threads we have here. Also, must remind people I'm not actually 25 but close to 30 (put in a random birth date/year when making an account).

A disclaimer: I am not a super player.. far from a Dan Bilzerian or any of these dudes who slayed hundreds of females. Not even close. I only thoughtof myselfas a player when I was in my teens and maybe early 20's but later realized I was far from that. I actually wanted more from alot of women that I dated early on who just wanted me for sex. But ofc I learned alot through pure experience.

To give you an idea of where I stand, My bodycount is around 65 women. I know that doesn't sound crazy but like I said, I'm not a player like that.. I Just knew how to utilize situations, got some social skills, a bit of game, and utilized a few dating apps in my time

Here are some of the bad things that happened to me: Caught the clap once (Chlamdiya) (cured with treatment), Elevated Liver Enzymes twice, Hepatitis A once (Not sure how I caught this, its a bit rarer but goes away on its own), Adrenal Fatigue, (from drugs, partying, no good sleep), elevated cortisol levels, (I think this ties into adrenal fatigue), Deep Depression / suicidal thoughts (from abusing MDMA/other stimulants), lost a buncha friends over situations with women, partying, and generally being thought of as an a-hole/douchebag. (which I was far from, i just came off like that because I chased gratification for a while), heart broken 2 major times, lots of ghosts in my past (girls who stopped talking to me and basically left my life)

Some of the good things that happened: Threesomes (not as glamorous for me anymore unless with the right chicks), Completely destroyed some ego's (prideful/ego/narcissist chicks), More than a handful of first encounter lays. Hella experience with drugs, partying, lavish clubs, Got to meet alot ofcool people, interesting stories, variety of females with different personalities, body types, scents, tastes, all that. Basically overflowed my cup when it comes to partying. Head from tons of women.. Gained lots of sexual confidence, Started appreciating women for more than just looks. Learned that women are vastly different from chick to chick when it comes to personality.

A lesson I learned:
Now, I don't know if any of you remember one of my old threads -- Where I mentioned before with woemn, I used o be satisfied just knowing I can get them, and that they liked me. I used to tobe the type that would hang out withw omen and enjoy hanging out with them for the attention, make out with them, and honestly didn't care about sex as much and thus didn't capitalize --after some time of seeing every dude arond me capitalize on chicks,or girls I didnt capitalize on, go to the dudes who would give them what they wanted, I started to feel some type of way. Still, I wasn't super crazy about sex with women I did not have an emotional connection with.. It just wasn't me.. Yet dudes around me would think I'm crazy.. and I realized I was wasting my time with alot of women..

Then I realized waht the problem was.. I was only sexually aroused by superficial ass women who had beautiful features, nice bodies, etc. Basically my standards were super exaggerated.. So what did I do? Go for those type of women exclusively.. --got rejected a buncha times, played, straight up denied, ghosted a bunch of times after they realized I wasn't the man they thought I was .. then I got back into the clubbing scene after a hiatus.. I had realized something-- women who got the looks and the body want the best of the best type of guys.. but i wasnt looking to cuff these hoes.. I was looking to smash because they were the only type of women I was into sexually.. so I had to convince these girls I was THAT DUDE sexually.. Wht did I do? I started framing everytthing towards sex.. My game went from trying to win over their personalities or convince them I'm a great catch, or play cute and charming, to being raw, sexual, sexually flirtacious, and straight up lustful.

The result: the first chick I smashed who fit the description --super hot blonde, looked like a barbie doll in the face except way more natural, big breasts, slim waist, fat ass, --was the chick at the club EVERY dude was not approaching. I had even seen her a time before at the same club, barelydance, hang around with her 2 hot friends and almost have 0 dudes approach them and them get drunk, try dancing a little and leave.. Guys were going for every girl in there except this 3 set of hot chicks (intimidated?) .... I went straight up to her, told her "let me borrow your ear for a second" (LOL) andwhispered in her ear "if there weren't all these people around i would want to eat you from head to toe.. you look so irrisistable" or something to that nature.. She looked at my eyes to see if i was for real and started smiling so hard.. I remember how instantly the nerves set in that i had to follow up quick as hell to say something before she interrupted me saying "you're baddd" and im like nah you're badd, im naughty.. nice to meet you.. or some sht. either way, that night i made sure to keep all my attention on her. i would dance awy from her for a bit, hit the bar to re-up on drinks but i would always come bck to her saying some teasy **** everytime, till naturally i felt like i knewher. at that point i just started dancingwith her, she started grindnig on me.. bought ME a drink, and started making out with me at the bar.

Best believe i got some yams that night.. ofc, i never heard from her again and was cool about it.. I had just realized everything I was doing wrong
A) was going for th e wrong type of girls, who I didn't even desire sexually like that
B) was more about getting to know women and slowly easing into things.. trying to validate myself to them

to
A) going for hot girls that I couldn't think about anything but sleeping with.. this ended up being going for straight bimbos for a while
B) being sexual from the get and nothing else. not no small talk, not even getting their name sometimes..
became the typical guy to have to try and act like I knew their name when I didn't lol

From that point on I had some of the best years of my dating life.. and the maxim of which was a bit before I came to this forum and made an account..around that time, I was hanging out with and smashing club bottle service girls, dancers and instagram baddies. and even plated one which ended up being my main squeeze for many months. was amazing. All from just being heavily involved in the club scene and business. It also helped that some of my friends started schemes that drew beautiful women toward us.

At the end of the day: I stopped clubbing recently.. liver enzymes are up again and cholesterol is high due to eating tons of junk past 2-3 years, Openedu p a Tinder for the first time this year and just been using that but not really pursuing new interests as of late as I'm grinding in other areas of my life. I got a lot of crazy and interesting stories and experiences with a variety of women.. yet I still from time to time battle the idea of being a player or living the life of a serial dater... as I do want to settle down one day very soon. Also, don't do drugs anymore like that.. and generally don't chase the life of instant gratification anymore.

I hope this post helps some people out in some way

 

[Fruitbat]

Hey, this is in some ways reminiscent of my earlier life but bodycount much lower.
I was a DJ and was mad on coke/ mdma for years. It broke me almost, huge depressions, made me get fat for a bit binge eating and drinking in the comedowns.

I used to find I would often go back with a girl from the club who wanted to come home with the cool DJ crowd but I didn’t always even lay them because I was so twisted off the drugs.
I mean, drug sex is cool but not so cool on the first time. It can take a long time and you really need to be with a girl you know and are comfortable with.

that’s the thing, these drugs make you horny as hell but keeping your attention and not spinning off mentally is hard.

all in all I regret the club/drug scene. I wish I had just spent those years having holidays and saving and going to the gym. There is a lot of cringe moments, regretful moments from that. Almost PTSD like

 

[Fruitbat]

I'm glad you rebounded from all that craziness. You're married now, correct?

yeah, this was 15-20 years ago.

im on my second marriage since then!

 

[Fruitbat]

All Players eventually get burnt out and want to settle down. This is extremely dangerous and leads to oneitis.

A man who wants to settle down is not attractive to women. A women wants to feel like she's tamed the savage beast, not a has-been who's tired and wants cuddles and nights in watching rom coms. She has her girlfriends for that. You don't want to be her girlfriend (I would hope).

Yeah, but if you want to settle down, why would you change your viewpoint or desires to be more attractive?

Wouldnt denying your own desire and aspirations to win points in women’s eyes make you more inauthentic to yourself, and effectively living your life for the approval of women?

I would say what you say is loosely true,esp for younger women, but a lot of women will automatically disregard a man who never wants kids because actually women are quite keen on them and many are pragmatic enough to know that life isn’t a romance novel.

I certainly found going from “be a challenge” to “one day I want a family” made a positive impact on getting OLD dates.

the way you post as well, it’s pretty inflammatory and not constructive. You seem to want to belittle and degrade other people.

 

[soulforge]

Hey, this is in some ways reminiscent of my earlier life but bodycount much lower.
I was a DJ and was mad on coke/ mdma for years. It broke me almost, huge depressions, made me get fat for a bit binge eating and drinking in the comedowns.

I used to find I would often go back with a girl from the club who wanted to come home with the cool DJ crowd but I didn’t always even lay them because I was so twisted off the drugs.
I mean, drug sex is cool but not so cool on the first time. It can take a long time and you really need to be with a girl you know and are comfortable with.

that’s the thing, these drugs make you horny as hell but keeping your attention and not spinning off mentally is hard.

all in all I regret the club/drug scene. I wish I had just spent those years having holidays and saving and going to the gym. There is a lot of cringe moments, regretful moments from that. Almost PTSD like

You would think a club DJ would get a good pick of the puzzy? But Yeh if your in the night life club environment constant, I can see how you could get lured into the world of drugs.

 

[Fruitbat]

You would think a club DJ would get a good pick of the puzzy? But Yeh if your in the night life club environment constant, I can see how you could get lured into the world of drugs.

I was pretty overweight for a lot of it and for the year or two I wasn’t, yes, got a good deal from that.

prob about 10 in 2 years? But then lots more where I wasn’t in the state to do anything.

the life was DJ and party Friday - Sunday, spend m-w sleeping and recovering and being depressed and then back on it again on Friday . You would be surprised how non-conducive to banging that lifestyle is.

also you’re mixing for 4-6 hours straight. You don’t get much time to actually talk to girls, you get little breaks, but it’s still a day at work, albeit a work life you can be highAF and drunk in.

I actually enjoyed the music more than anything. If you’ve dropped bangers to 250 people while high off you’re noggin, that is one hell of a feeling

 

[derby1]

the life was DJ and party Friday - Sunday

I used to do the same, christ it brings back memories, I used to have women like a conveyor belt behind the DJ booth, not full on banging, but theyd be freaky and drunk requesting there songs, and i always got laid later

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Thought this would be a good deviation from the regular threads we have here. Also, must remind people I'm not actually 25 but close to 30 (put in a random birth date/year when making an account).

A disclaimer: I am not a super player.. far from a Dan Bilzerian or any of these dudes who slayed hundreds of females. Not even close. I only thoughtof myselfas a player when I was in my teens and maybe early 20's but later realized I was far from that. I actually wanted more from alot of women that I dated early on who just wanted me for sex. But ofc I learned alot through pure experience.

To give you an idea of where I stand, My bodycount is around 65 women. I know that doesn't sound crazy but like I said, I'm not a player like that.. I Just knew how to utilize situations, got some social skills, a bit of game, and utilized a few dating apps in my time

Here are some of the bad things that happened to me: Caught the clap once (Chlamdiya) (cured with treatment), Elevated Liver Enzymes twice, Hepatitis A once (Not sure how I caught this, its a bit rarer but goes away on its own), Adrenal Fatigue, (from drugs, partying, no good sleep), elevated cortisol levels, (I think this ties into adrenal fatigue), Deep Depression / suicidal thoughts (from abusing MDMA/other stimulants), lost a buncha friends over situations with women, partying, and generally being thought of as an a-hole/douchebag. (which I was far from, i just came off like that because I chased gratification for a while), heart broken 2 major times, lots of ghosts in my past (girls who stopped talking to me and basically left my life)

Some of the good things that happened: Threesomes (not as glamorous for me anymore unless with the right chicks), Completely destroyed some ego's (prideful/ego/narcissist chicks), More than a handful of first encounter lays. Hella experience with drugs, partying, lavish clubs, Got to meet alot ofcool people, interesting stories, variety of females with different personalities, body types, scents, tastes, all that. Basically overflowed my cup when it comes to partying. Head from tons of women.. Gained lots of sexual confidence, Started appreciating women for more than just looks. Learned that women are vastly different from chick to chick when it comes to personality.

A lesson I learned:
Now, I don't know if any of you remember one of my old threads -- Where I mentioned before with woemn, I used o be satisfied just knowing I can get them, and that they liked me. I used to tobe the type that would hang out withw omen and enjoy hanging out with them for the attention, make out with them, and honestly didn't care about sex as much and thus didn't capitalize --after some time of seeing every dude arond me capitalize on chicks,or girls I didnt capitalize on, go to the dudes who would give them what they wanted, I started to feel some type of way. Still, I wasn't super crazy about sex with women I did not have an emotional connection with.. It just wasn't me.. Yet dudes around me would think I'm crazy.. and I realized I was wasting my time with alot of women..

Then I realized waht the problem was.. I was only sexually aroused by superficial ass women who had beautiful features, nice bodies, etc. Basically my standards were super exaggerated.. So what did I do? Go for those type of women exclusively.. --got rejected a buncha times, played, straight up denied, ghosted a bunch of times after they realized I wasn't the man they thought I was .. then I got back into the clubbing scene after a hiatus.. I had realized something-- women who got the looks and the body want the best of the best type of guys.. but i wasnt looking to cuff these hoes.. I was looking to smash because they were the only type of women I was into sexually.. so I had to convince these girls I was THAT DUDE sexually.. Wht did I do? I started framing everytthing towards sex.. My game went from trying to win over their personalities or convince them I'm a great catch, or play cute and charming, to being raw, sexual, sexually flirtacious, and straight up lustful.

The result: the first chick I smashed who fit the description --super hot blonde, looked like a barbie doll in the face except way more natural, big breasts, slim waist, fat ass, --was the chick at the club EVERY dude was not approaching. I had even seen her a time before at the same club, barelydance, hang around with her 2 hot friends and almost have 0 dudes approach them and them get drunk, try dancing a little and leave.. Guys were going for every girl in there except this 3 set of hot chicks (intimidated?) .... I went straight up to her, told her "let me borrow your ear for a second" (LOL) andwhispered in her ear "if there weren't all these people around i would want to eat you from head to toe.. you look so irrisistable" or something to that nature.. She looked at my eyes to see if i was for real and started smiling so hard.. I remember how instantly the nerves set in that i had to follow up quick as hell to say something before she interrupted me saying "you're baddd" and im like nah you're badd, im naughty.. nice to meet you.. or some sht. either way, that night i made sure to keep all my attention on her. i would dance awy from her for a bit, hit the bar to re-up on drinks but i would always come bck to her saying some teasy **** everytime, till naturally i felt like i knewher. at that point i just started dancingwith her, she started grindnig on me.. bought ME a drink, and started making out with me at the bar.

Best believe i got some yams that night.. ofc, i never heard from her again and was cool about it.. I had just realized everything I was doing wrong
A) was going for th e wrong type of girls, who I didn't even desire sexually like that
B) was more about getting to know women and slowly easing into things.. trying to validate myself to them

to
A) going for hot girls that I couldn't think about anything but sleeping with.. this ended up being going for straight bimbos for a while
B) being sexual from the get and nothing else. not no small talk, not even getting their name sometimes..
became the typical guy to have to try and act like I knew their name when I didn't lol

From that point on I had some of the best years of my dating life.. and the maxim of which was a bit before I came to this forum and made an account..around that time, I was hanging out with and smashing club bottle service girls, dancers and instagram baddies. and even plated one which ended up being my main squeeze for many months. was amazing. All from just being heavily involved in the club scene and business. It also helped that some of my friends started schemes that drew beautiful women toward us.

At the end of the day: I stopped clubbing recently.. liver enzymes are up again and cholesterol is high due to eating tons of junk past 2-3 years, Openedu p a Tinder for the first time this year and just been using that but not really pursuing new interests as of late as I'm grinding in other areas of my life. I got a lot of crazy and interesting stories and experiences with a variety of women.. yet I still from time to time battle the idea of being a player or living the life of a serial dater... as I do want to settle down one day very soon. Also, don't do drugs anymore like that.. and generally don't chase the life of instant gratification anymore.

I hope this post helps some people out in some way

Hey bro. Are you physically attractive or fit? Or are you successful in your career?

Or has your success mostly been down to vibe, attitude and approach?

 

[Fruitbat]

Wanting to settle down with one woman, as a man, comes from a place of scarcity and lack of abundance. It also comes from a place of tiredness and wanting to be comfortable. No matter how you spin it, this just isn't attractive to women with options.

You deal with Asian women, who are more family-oriented and children-oriented. That's skewing your perception of reality in the West. Increasingly, Western women don't want kids until they are completely exhausted from the c0ck carousal and hit about 40. But who the hell wants that?

I have belittled and degraded your opinions in the past because you checked out and got a mail-order. That's absolutely fine and I support your choice. We could all do that if we wanted to. But that's not Game, which is the purpose of this forum. If your goal is to have a family and settle down then you've made the right choice, but it's at the expense of being able to fully relate to men who are operating in the Western Dating market.

Thats factually incorrect. She is not a mail order and I resent the accusation.

I’m not talking about our previous discussions, you’ve made your feelings abundantly clear. You have an extremely black and white view of everything with no scope for nuance and an extremely cynical take on everything.

I’ve operated for 20+ years in the western dating market. Sometime successfully, sometimes not. You’re making the assumption any man who chooses Asian has done so like a sexpat. This is tied into the general assumptions you make in a black or white manner. You view white women as objectively better and Asian as sub-standard, or should I say sub-human.

This discussion had nothing to do with my background, but you’re dragging this up as any true cluster B does whenever they get challenged. It’s unrelated to this discussion.

To address your points: Wanting a family is in no way what you suggest. It’s a basic human need of a mature man to leave a legacy. What is good for your successors is to have a secure and stable family unit around then. That generally involves monogamy.

You seem to be unable to grasp that concept because I would suggest you have an immature attitude and aren’t able to relate to that view because you are still at the stage where things like a legacy are secondary to hedonistic desires and egotistical self gratification.

As for game, this is a forum about being successful with women. It has a married man, and a mature man section. It is not entirely limited to men with your aims. There are countless threads by men wishing to have long term partners.

 

[f283000]

You wanting to settle down with a woman isn't because of the "noble legacy" reasons that you pretend. It's because you're lonely and you don't know how to be alone. If you want to leave a legacy then donate your sperm.

Let’s analyze this….

Yes a lot if not most guys that marry Asian women are losers that couldn’t get women back home and are lonely (sexpats).

If they’re a white guy it’s 99% the case that is likely to be true. Most white guys guys don’t really care about having a family or children so the tale of getting an Asian woman to have a family is most likely bs. Maybe 1% do.

99% of white guys that go for Asian women are due to yellow fever. Anime watching, Japanese and Asian culture, Japanese porn and all that stuff is deep in their head. Most are blue pill af and don’t give a damn about masculine principles or know much about red pill. They’re reason ain’t because Asian women are more feminine.

The guys who are serious are having a family and children are Islamic guys/African guys. To them legacy and family is deeply ingrained in the culture.

However, this doesn’t change the fact that Asian women are better for having a marriage and a family than western white women.

This is being fair there is truth from what both of you say.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You have an extremely black and white view of everything with no scope for nuance and an extremely cynical take on everything.

That's my take as well.

 

[f283000]

I’ll just say this going back to the original post. From my own personal experience once you get good at seducing women and you live the womanizer lifestyle you can no longer pair bond.

I’m at the point now where spending time with a woman is a robotic no excitement endeavor. Back when I was younger going on dates with my girls was fun, enjoyable, exciting.

Having banged enough women and understanding female nature has taken out the whole excitement from the equation. It’s all just me repeating a few actions to get to sex and that’s it.

Having been a womanizer has made me cold inside. Not that I’m cold to my women I treat them all with respect but I just can’t “love.”

Now that I’m older and I can reflect I regret having let go or ruined so many relationships with so many quality girls I could have built something with.

one of my mentors is a 60 year old guy back in his day he was the womanizer. He never had children never got married and now he’s alone except for his brother. A lot of us guys that do end up becoming successful with women will end up like this.

 

[Fruitbat]

Stay on topic. This thread is about party boys and burning out. Not yours and Fruitbat's bluepill sexpat venting. Let's all try and keep this educational and objective.

There’s only one person venting here.

Nobody this angry at the world is getting laid

 

[Bingo-Player]

Everything in moderation IMO

in my early 20's i burnt the club/ party holiday / drug scene out hard

I smashed 16 chicks in 1 year in 2013 but by 2015 i was sick of it ....sick of the hangovers sick of being exhausted ,sick of being broke sick of pretending to like people i couldn't care less about

obviously barely been out during covid and before that i was in a LTR so been very little club scene for me in the last few years

Now i am single again and lockdown looks like it's just about over i am slowly getting back into it

Can't say i love the club scene ......i enjoy parts of it and i absolutely hate other parts of it but i have no choice i have to get back into it now

I was thinking earlier i probably have 5 maybe 6 years left in me where im going to physically and mentally be able to sustain the club / party scene so will make the most of it want to smash a lot more hoes

But then as i approach 40 i feel i will want very little to do with it ...... at that age i will have hopefully found HB9 mrs bingo player and we can set up an animal sanctuary or something

My phone will also be getting thrown straight in the bin too ... honestly can't wait for that day

 

[Fruitbat]

Exactly! That's the first sensible post I've seen from you. Fix your anger and self-hate, and stop projecting it onto others. Practice some self-love and you'll get much further in life. That's the last bit of free advice you're getting from me.

Pan, my old mate, sometimes more is said by an attitude than by what’s said.

I mean, what is this about really? Proving you’re better than everyone, than me? Have it! I don’t care!

It’s pretty clear you aren’t very happy for whatever reason. The reason this started is you made some pretty sweeping statements which were designed to troll and get a reaction. Most of your contributions are in this vein - “You are all weak and my nihilistic, winner-takes-all rhetoric will expose your weakness and my superiority. Aha!”

Sometimes you will get more out of life by seeking to understand, and persuading others to listen. This brute force “I’m right so F u”might feel good, but to anyone observing with a little experience of human beings will know that this is stemming from a place of vulnerability.

 

[Fruitbat]

You just ruined your first sensible post by following it up with another weird sex-patty rant post. Please Fruitbat, for the love of all things RedPill, can you please try a bit harder to put your feminine whining aside for a moment and keep on topic. We are trying to talk about the Partyboy life and what happens when we get tired and burnt out.

No, I’M the internet alpha maaaaaale

 

[characternote]

It’s pretty clear you aren’t very happy for whatever reason

maybe the negs aren't working out in person quite like they do in the books

 

[Fruitbat]

maybe the negs aren't working out in person quite like they do in the books

Hang on, he says I’m feminine....

...negging me....

I am flattered but my bread is butter side up Pan!