My big question about interracial dating

[Bible_Belt]

I will never understand what it is like to be a white woman in America.

It could be said that none of us will, regardless of our race.

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm guessing that you were stationed near a small town and never really got to see Germany. Go to Fankfurt or Berlin, or any other big city, and you will see all of the things that you've described above, in spades. Poverty-ridden immigrant ghettos, drug use, crime, no-go zones...you can find all fo that in Germany too. And anywhere else in Western Europe, from that matter, thanks to their immigration/assylum policies. Also, the German culture is not nearly THAT different. In fact, I'd wager a guess that your average white German is culturally closer to an average white Americans than, say, a black American from Alabama is to a to white American from Maine.

I was stationed in Baumholder, so yeah... that is about as rural as you can get in Germany, but I sent much of my time, on weekends in Frankfurt and Mannheim which were less than 2 hours drive away. I'm not going to get goaded into a discussion about what country is better than another. There are a lot of things I don't like about Germany... they have some pretty stupid rules you have to follow and in many ways it's more aggravating living there.

But really that is beside the point... what I am talking about is CULTURAL differences. The average 'white' German knows nothing about American football or baseball, if fact they think those sports are boring as hell. The average German only fired a gun when he was conscripted into service, and never picked up a gun again for the rest of his life... the average German doesn't have to worry about health insurance, they are also used to paying the price of something priced in the store... sales tax additions, tipping, and other hidden costs of things is completely alien to them. German culture is very different from American culture. If you grow up someplace you get used to the things that happen there... and when you go someplace else where things are different it causes stress. Some people can adjust... most have a hard time.

And like I said, there are sub-cultures in the US, anyone growing up in Maine is going to have a very different life experience than someone that grew up in rural Alabama. A white Southern has more in common with a black Southern than a white man from NYC. During WWI when the US Army was forming segregated Black regiments, Black Americans still were not commissioned officers, so most of the officers in this unit were white. When they first formed these units they didn't give much consideration as to where the White officers were coming from, or where the Black soldiers were coming from... and these units were doing terrible in training. Then someone had the idea that maybe they need to form these units at battalion level where all the Black and White soldiers were from the same region of the country. This worked because while there experiences might have been different, the culture was the same. When we just had smaller armies and all the officers in all the units went through training together at West Point, where people were allowed to stew in cross-cultural soup for 4 years, this wasn't a problem. WWI was the first time where we formed massive armies from cross cultures without cultural integration.

 

[Bokanovsky]

When they first formed these units they didn't give much consideration as to where the White officers were coming from, or where the Black soldiers were coming from... and these units were doing terrible in training. Then someone had the idea that maybe they need to form these units at battalion level where all the Black and White soldiers were from the same region of the country.

In those days, there weren't many black people in the North. I suppose there was a certain logic to putting white southern officers in charge of black southern soldiers but I doubt it had anything to do with culture. Those white officers had about as much in common culturally with the troops they commanded as you would with an Afghan or Iraqi auxiliary.

 

[King Lion]

You're already in a relationship with each other - What is there to "understand" other than to set a good example?

And if you're really Black - WTF is up with your choice of So Suave I.D. and reason to identify with Jake G?!?

 

[Fruitbat]

I'm a black male in a relationship with a white female, and it has started to concern me that my partner and I will never be aware of each other's struggles due to race. She will never understand what it is like to be a black man in America and I will never understand what it is like to be a white woman in America. How do particularly minority americans deal with this issue when dating white women?

Is life really that different or is this a USA thing?

in Europe I think the identity thing is overplayed.

poor white people have more in common with poor black people than wealthy white people.

I’m white and my wife’s asian. The idea we have “a different experience” is a load of nonsense. We have slightly different experiences mainly down to a little difference in culture. Other than that we both work, eat, sh1t, laugh and cry. Our human traits outweigh the rest.

I don’t know the states but it feels highly identitarian and I would discourage classifying ourselves based on skin tone.

Im actually part anglo Saxon, part Jewish, part Native American and part French. So what TF am I? What’s my reality?

You did as much work to become black as I did to become white. It just happened. It’s not an identity, but the US seems to revel in this.

hard to understand in Europe. Yeah of course I notice if a dude is black, but it doesn’t change my view of him. Only when people go out of their way to be different, to not mix, to be seen as separate, to not share the common culture but want to be alone from it,does it create a division.

 

[oOh Nasty]

I was in an LTR with an attractive white chick about a decade ago. Talking about race was barely a thing. Sure, I had my share of chink jokes thrown at me during HS (my school was about 70% black) but I never once displayed signs of victim-hood or inferiority about it to her. So it was never a thing. And, I never thought of her as a white chick. I just thought of her as another cute girl that holds my arm when we're walking around in public.

My question is, why is it so important to be "understood?" You live your life and you lead her into the future. Are you implying that you feel somewhat inferior because she's a white girl and you're a minority? Or do you just want to feel more connected to her by sharing your "racial struggles?"

Live your life and lead the way. Thinking about things like "will we understand each other?" are for the Disney blue-pilled folk.

 

[Fruitbat]

I was in an LTR with an attractive white chick about a decade ago. Talking about race was barely a thing. Sure, I had my share of chink jokes thrown at me during HS (my school was about 70% black) but I never once displayed signs of victim-hood or inferiority about it to her. So it was never a thing. And, I never thought of her as a white chick. I just thought of her as another cute girl that holds my arm when we're walking around in public.

My question is, why is it so important to be "understood?" You live your life and you lead her into the future. Are you implying that you feel somewhat inferior because she's a white girl and you're a minority? Or do you just want to feel more connected to her by sharing your "racial struggles?"

Live your life and lead the way. Thinking about things like "will we understand each other?" are for the Disney blue-pilled folk.

great post. The closer you get to other races the more you realise we are all humans, and all very similar.

It’s mainly rich white liberals who live 180 miles from the nearest black face who are all hung up about it.

as a guy from a poor white background we have been around other races enough to not make it an issue. I’m sure that’s not the case for everywhere but generally in my country, it’s the white only areas infested with social justice types and the poorer folks are just very much “wtf? Just get on with it”

I do however agree that life is harder for black people but wealth is the main determinate. Better to ge rich and black than poor and white.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Please enlighten us.. What "struggles" does a white woman in America have?

This should be good.

Im not the correct person to ask lol

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I'm guessing that you were stationed near a small town and never really got to see Germany. Go to Fankfurt or Berlin, or any other big city, and you will see all of the things that you've described above, in spades. Poverty-ridden immigrant ghettos, drug use, crime, no-go zones...you can find all fo that in Germany too. And anywhere else in Western Europe, from that matter, thanks to their immigration/assylum policies. Also, the German culture is not nearly THAT different. In fact, I'd wager a guess that your average white German is culturally closer to an average white Americans than, say, a black American from Alabama is to a to white American from Maine.

I did a vacation in Germany, Netherlands, and Belgium and I was shocked on how ghetto and dirt Germany looked compared to the other two lol

 

[RickTheToad]

Not enough guys open doors for her.

She's not given presents in the street as often as she'd like.

The 5-star restaurant she ate at last night forgot to put the capers in her pasta.


The struggle is real, yo.

What!! No capers??? Those evildoers. Well, to be honest, she shouldn't be eating pasta anyway.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm a black male in a relationship with a white female, and it has started to concern me that my partner and I will never be aware of each other's struggles due to race. She will never understand what it is like to be a black man in America and I will never understand what it is like to be a white woman in America. How do particularly minority americans deal with this issue when dating white women?

My two cents:

Race is less of a factor for sexual attraction and casual encounters. Don't even worry about that. Bang who you like.

However, for reproduction I've always felt instinctively that people cannot see themselves in their children when it is interracial. This is especially true for black folks because we have more dominant genes. If you and this gal make babies they will look black and be regarded as black by society. They will more than likely identify as black. That raises the question can her and her family look that child in the eye and see themselves? Since I prefer not to find out the answer to that question, I stick to black women (or Afro-Latinas) for serious relationships.

For this reason I also disagree with posters who say culture is more important. I've causually dated all races and ethnicities and the common thread is that racial solidarity is stronger than cultural solidarity. For example, a white spanish speaking Cuban will sooner identify as white and mingle with white people than they would mingle with a black Cuban. And that black Cuban in America will more likely date a black American than a white Cuban American.

 

[corrector]

I'm a black male in a relationship with a white female, and it has started to concern me that my partner and I will never be aware of each other's struggles due to race. She will never understand what it is like to be a black man in America and I will never understand what it is like to be a white woman in America. How do particularly minority americans deal with this issue when dating white women?

Look who is making threads about race. You probably have a hb5 girl who is bossing you around while you are tyrone, lol! See if she sticks if you gain some weight since she is complaining about your diet all the time.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Look who is making threads about race. You probably have a hb5 girl who is bossing you around while you are tyrone, lol! See if she sticks if you gain some weight since she is complaining about your diet all the time.

A Tyrone wouldn't have made this topic because they will simp for any white girl. Most black guys date down to be with a white woman. I refuse to ever do such a thing because I'm of upper caste background. If she was bossing me around then I would have made another topic about it or left her, otherwise that's not true at all.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

My two cents:

Race is less of a factor for sexual attraction and casual encounters. Don't even worry about that. Bang who you like.

However, for reproduction I've always felt instinctively that people cannot see themselves in their children when it is interracial. This is especially true for black folks because we have more dominant genes. If you and this gal make babies they will look black and be regarded as black by society. They will more than likely identify as black. That raises the question can her and her family look that child in the eye and see themselves? Since I prefer not to find out the answer to that question, I stick to black women (or Afro-Latinas) for serious relationships.

For this reason I also disagree with posters who say culture is more important. I've causually dated all races and ethnicities and the common thread is that racial solidarity is stronger than cultural solidarity. For example, a white spanish speaking Cuban will sooner identify as white and mingle with white people than they would mingle with a black Cuban. And that black Cuban in America will more likely date a black American than a white Cuban American.

I don't think that cuba is a good counter example. How would a black British person do here in the states? I'm from a wealthy area and most of the black people were from African immigrant parents and they seemed to integrate well within the white population in fact better than African Americans.

Is your question more about being in each other's shoes and understanding what that feels like being a problem or more about what other people think and how each of you reacts or deals with it differently?

If it's the former, I can tell you that if it is the ladder then should not worry about that. If it is the former, should also not overthink it. Even if she was African American, we can't truly understand what each of us goes through in life. Whether it's a mental health thing or a racial thing, we are all walking our own journies and fighting our own battles.

What truly matters is, are both aligned on the same vision for life and share those ethical/spiritual values that are fundamental to you as a human being beyond flesh and bones. That is what you should focus on. Because if you are not, then you are wasting your time.

Modern Man Advice

I guess it's more of a defense mechanism because the thought of someone I trust being capable of ruining my life scares me, but I think that's the case for anything.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't think that cuba is a good counter example.

It is a fine example. Replace Cuba with any country and the point is still the same.

How would a black British person do here in the states?

Black British in the states still identify as black.

I'm from a wealthy area and most of the black people were from African immigrant parents and they seemed to integrate well within the white population in fact better than African Americans.

African immigrants in the USA identify as black even with the cultural differences. They are still more likely to date black people than other races.

For example, I smashed three black South African immigrants over the years. They identified as black and dated black men. They are far more likely to fvck Tyrone from Detroit than Chad from South Africa.

 

[RangerMIke]

In those days, there weren't many black people in the North. I suppose there was a certain logic to putting white southern officers in charge of black southern soldiers but I doubt it had anything to do with culture. Those white officers had about as much in common culturally with the troops they commanded as you would with an Afghan or Iraqi auxiliary.

The culture in the South was racial segregation. Black Southerners grew up in this culture, like it or not, this was their normal. White Southerners grew up in this culture as well... To them is was normal, so if you had a bunch of Black and White soldiers who grew up in segregation suddenly tossed into a situation where this was not being done... well... even though it might be to their benefit, would cause stress. I grew up in the Lower Ninth Ward in New Orleans, most of my neighbors were Black, I went to an inner city pubic school so most of my friends were Black. When we would play in our neighborhood, we would get older Black folk that would fuss at my Black friends for playing with me. It would be stuff like "You need to stay away from that White boy, because you are just going to get in trouble!" This was the late 70s, but these older folks grew up in segregation, and that culture is not something you can just flip a switch and turn off.

 

[bat soup]

I'm a black male in a relationship with a white female, and it has started to concern me that my partner and I will never be aware of each other's struggles due to race. She will never understand what it is like to be a black man in America and I will never understand what it is like to be a white woman in America. How do particularly minority americans deal with this issue when dating white women?

I will never know what it's like to have a vagina. Should I be concerned about that? I don't think so. Everyone has their own issues and their own struggles. If a person accepts you enough to be in a relationship with you, I don't see why you'd want to start making race an issue.

 

[bat soup]

I think the bigger question is "do you need to date someone who has exactly the same background?" If you had an abusive father, then do you need a partner whose father was also abusive? Otherwise they won't understand what's it was like for you, right? Since I'm from England, I guess I need to date English women but in my whole life I've never dated anyone from the same country and often not even the same race. I don't feel like I need someone to be the same as me to understand me. They have their culture and I have mine, but if two people like and respect each other enough then this isn't a problem at all.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

The culture in the South was racial segregation. Black Southerners grew up in this culture, like it or not, this was their normal. White Southerners grew up in this culture as well... To them is was normal, so if you had a bunch of Black and White soldiers who grew up in segregation suddenly tossed into a situation where this was not being done... well... even though it might be to their benefit, would cause stress. I grew up in the Lower Ninth Ward in New Orleans, most of my neighbors were Black, I went to an inner city pubic school so most of my friends were Black. When we would play in our neighborhood, we would get older Black folk that would fuss at my Black friends for playing with me. It would be stuff like "You need to stay away from that White boy, because you are just going to get in trouble!" This was the late 70s, but these older folks grew up in segregation, and that culture is not something you can just flip a switch and turn off.

9th ward in New Orleans is much a different than a place like Nashville, TN where the racial dividing lines were pretty clear and distinct and the only interactions you had with blacks were with service workers that had to leave your part of town by sun down vs New Orleans had a good amount of affluent African Americans to buffer Jim Crow. I'm not saying it was good to be black in New Orleans, but it was much better to be a black man in New Orleans than Montgomery, Alabama or Nashville, Tn. Pre Katrina New Orleans was actually not a bad place to be black and I think it is one of the few cities in the south that didn't lose black people from the great migration. There's a lot of stories where German POWs were brought to the south and how they were treated much better than the black population living in the town.

I will never know what it's like to have a vagina. Should I be concerned about that? I don't think so. Everyone has their own issues and their own struggles. If a person accepts you enough to be in a relationship with you, I don't see why you'd want to start making race an issue.

This makes more sense lol

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I will never be aware of each other's struggles due to race

Who cares what color there is?
Why do you even bring that up? It is both retarded and stupid to do so.