What your biggest struggle with dating?

[Caelum]

When I did online dating, getting matches and first dates wasn’t a problem at all. However, getting past the first date or more than 3 dates was damn near impossible. I had matches coming out of my ears.

Me too, but I have a rule I made for myself. If they are under 28 or over 32 I just go for instant bang. If they want to then lets go, if not don't waste my time. If they are between 28 and 32 I try to take it more slow. It usually works.

 

[AttackFormation]

Simply meeting women is my biggest struggle with dating. I have no social spheres with available women, no social media clout and get practically 0 results from OLD, although i havent bought premium either.

 

[SW15]

When I did online dating, getting matches and first dates wasn’t a problem at all. However, getting past the first date or more than 3 dates was damn near impossible. I had matches coming out of my ears.

I had a similar experience though I wouldn't say I had matches coming out of my years. The volume of matches was decent.

Simply meeting women is my biggest struggle with dating. I have no social spheres with available women, no social media clout and get practically 0 results from OLD, although i havent bought premium either.

Guys are mostly forced to buy premium on the swipe apps today. Match percentages are so low (a fraction of 1% for a large swath of men) that you need to swipe endlessly to get sufficient volume of matches.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I don’t give out that personality vibe that ignites that spark most women are chasing. Oh well, most of them are single for life for a reason.

 

[DonJuanjr]

you need to swipe endlessly to get sufficient volume of matches.

Which in turn lowers your value due to the algorithms, and shows you more and more trash.

 

[SW15]

Which in turn lowers your value due to the algorithms, and shows you more and more trash.

There is something to be said for not playing the swipe app game and just approaching in real life. ELO score is not applicable in real life.

 

[corrector]

I don't meet women in the first place or talk to them for that matter.

 

[SW15]

I don't meet women in the first place or talk to them for that matter.

Need to talk to achieve something, even in a feminist shiithole. Real life is not Bumble, women don't make the first move.

 

[BMX]

My biggest struggle in dating is choosing not to date. It was a difficult choice at first but became a well-reinforced decision a 1000 times over with all the manosphere content I discovered in 2018. No stressing about lowly fembots after taking the daily crimson capsule, paying off $34,000 of debt, saving $34,000 right after that, buying a couple of used German cars and selling them before moving back to the U.S., traveling Europe whilst fvcking off, getting into med college. I took care of business without the weaksh!t that is dating. No guilt or regrets at all. That's for those that believe the narrative imposed by the culty type of dipsh!ts.

 

[Snag87]

When I did online dating, getting matches and first dates wasn’t a problem at all. However, getting past the first date or more than 3 dates was damn near impossible. I had matches coming out of my ears.

Same. I'm attractive and have good photos so it's relatively easy to get dates. 80%+ of them come to nothing.

 

[Snag87]

I had a similar experience though I wouldn't say I had matches coming out of my years. The volume of matches was decent.



Guys are mostly forced to buy premium on the swipe apps today. Match percentages are so low (a fraction of 1% for a large swath of men) that you need to swipe endlessly to get sufficient volume of matches.

Any idea why it's so hard to get second dates? Is it simply the endless options OLD provides?

 

[MatureDJ]

My biggest problem is getting attractive women to date me ... at least without paying them.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What your biggest struggle with dating?
My girlfriend. You would not believe how mad she gets. Dating is totally not worth it any more.

We tend to inflate the importance of that which we do not have. If you are poor, it's money. If you aren't getting laid, it's pvssy. Whatever you think you need to complete you in life, if it dropped into your lap tomorrow, the truth is that you are still the same person.

 

[AttackFormation]

Guys are mostly forced to buy premium on the swipe apps today. Match percentages are so low (a fraction of 1% for a large swath of men) that you need to swipe endlessly to get sufficient volume of matches.

I doubt it will increase even when you buy premium, that's half the reason why i dont want to. I could be wrong but i think if you dont get shyt without premium, you still aint gonna get shyt with it.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Wanting to date in the first place. I'm really, really not interested in spending time with women
like that. Have a couple of female pals who I spend time with occasionally but have said to them
in as many words "I'm not trying to bang you". A polish girl I know who I shall call Bea said to me
recently "You really don't like women do you?" which is funny because my wife said to me a few
interactions ago "You don't like women and you don't like sex". They are both right.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Wanting to date in the first place. I'm really, really not interested in spending time with women
like that. Have a couple of female pals who I spend time with occasionally but have said to them
in as many words "I'm not trying to bang you". A polish girl I know who I shall call Bea said to me
recently "You really don't like women do you?" which is funny because my wife said to me a few
interactions ago "You don't like women and you don't like sex". They are both right.

I like sex. I just don't feel like hanging out with them or investing any of my real life with them. I have too many important things to do.

 

[SW15]

I doubt it will increase even when you buy premium, that's half the reason why i dont want to. I could be wrong but i think if you dont get shyt without premium, you still aint gonna get shyt with it.

I would have mixed feelings about it. After dissatisfaction with results, I declined to use that as a means for meeting women.

Swipe apps are a quite challenging venue.

With premium, I would think a person would have a better chance with more swipes available to use. I'm a better than average looking guy and my match % was likely under 1% of my swipes. I had to swipe a lot to get a decent volume of prospects.

Any idea why it's so hard to get second dates? Is it simply the endless options OLD provides?

It is getting more and more difficult for men to get 2nd dates from using swipe apps. The website era of the late 2000s/early 2010s was bad enough but swipe apps took all the bad aspects of website dating and accentuated them.

In the website era, most women's inboxes were flooded by thirsty men. Now, it is their swipe queues and sometimes even their messaging inboxes in the apps.

Women in more populated areas have endless options on swipe apps. I've been in 2 of the 15 biggest U.S. metros since I graduated college ~15 years ago. I'm not sure how small a place needs to be for women not to have endless options. When women have endless options, their behavior gets worse.

As compared to the website era, a larger percentage of women are using tech assisted means to find dates. Even when you are cold approaching in a more populated area, you're more likely to be competing with hundreds of men in her smartphone. I've seen women value cold approaches less now than they did in the mid-2000s when I was first graduating college. The mid-2000s also was far from the pinnacle of a healthy mating environment.

Now, with women have hundreds of options of demand, a woman expects "all the butterflies" on the first date or else she's out. Think about how absurd that is, especially if two people meet in person after interacting behind a screen on a smartphone app/text messaging. Instant chemistry often isn't realistic, but women expect instant chemistry. Female entitlement and expectations are staggering.

I experienced dates in the second half of the 2010s that were comparable in quality to dates I had in 2005-06. These dates would lead to 2nd dates in 2005-06 but a date of the same quality in the 2010s would lead to a woman ghosting.

There's no ideal solution to this. All men can do is work on their SMVs. I lift weights, eat a healthy diet, don't watch porn/mbate, try to max out my testosterone naturally, and approach in-person aggressively (but with a consideration for IOIs) when I need to find new women.

 

[SW15]

Mirrors my experience exactly

Makes sense. You and I are similar ages.

Many men have problems getting matches on swipe apps. A different set of men get a decent number of matches (our experiences) but aren't converting those matches into first date sex or LTRs. I am convinced that the "one date, no sex, no second date" date is the most common date generated from swipe apps.

The percentage of singles participating in swipe apps is much higher now than the percentage of singles who were using online dating websites in 2010 (after de-stigmatization). In 2010, if you were cold approaching, you were more likely to find a single woman who wasn't on a website as compared to the late 2010s-present with her presence on swipe apps.

The threshold of what it takes to get a second date now has increased if you're using swipe apps or cold approaching to get dates. If you're using your social circle and getting put together by friends/acquaintances, the threshold needed to get a 2nd date from that is lower than that of being an app swiper or a cold approacher.

 

[Snag87]

Yea, I'll chime in. Precise same experiences.

The real question is what are these women looking for? They must know their looks and fertility are finite. I understand that younger people have shorter time horizons, but it's still mind-boggling. If you're a 5 woman and you have a 7.5 man willing to commit, just take the deal

 

[SW15]

Yea, I'll chime in. Precise same experiences.

Not surprised.

The real question is what are these women looking for? They must know their looks and fertility are finite.

Ultimately, do most women know what they are looking for? Do most men?

I think women know that subconsciously but less so consciously. And when average looking 35 year old women living in bigger metros have more men pursuing them than a 22 year old supermodel did in 1986, it seems like there are a lot of good times.

I understand that younger people have shorter time horizons, but it's still mind-boggling. If you're a 5 woman and you have a 7.5 man willing to commit, just take the deal

A "5" woman has a lot of options. Most of the men want them for sex. I'd say most 7.5 men pursuing a 5 woman are looking to hit it a once or a few times, then quit it. However, because a woman has so many options, there are definitely 7.5 men in her queue who would commit. There are 6 or 6.5 men who would commit. Chances are that she's not connecting with them on the apps.

While a 5 in her 20s fields a decent amount of in-person approaches, once she turns 30, her approaches diminish. Above average looking women in their 30s still field a decent amount of in-person approaches, especially if they are childless.