Temptation

[TheNewStyle123]

Hey guys,

Some of you know I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. She is amazing. Cooks for me, cleans, intelligent, self-less, will come over and fuuck/blow me on command whenever I want, has a great sex drive, submissive, etc.

So what's the problem?

Other women.

I know I have a good girl. But recently I have met (not fuucked, just conversed with) other women IRL (friend's wedding, downtown, etc.) and an old plate hit me up. Part of my brain always plays the "what if" scenario. I guess I don't have a specific question, just wondering how you guys have dealt with these feelings in the past if you've had them.

I suppose the obvious choice if you're having those thoughts would be to break up with the person you're with... but she's so good to me, and I fear that I would regret it if I didn't have her. But if I am having those thoughts already, am I just fighting an uphill battle with myself?

Thanks boys!

 

[ThisIsSparta]

But if I am having those thoughts already, am I just fighting an uphill battle with myself?

You will allways have this thirst for new pvssy, its embedded in your nature to spread your seed as wide as possible.

Be aware that this has nothing to do with the woman you are with. She could be a 9, doing everything right and you would still be horny for that other women with the big boobs, or the redhead from next door. Its just about having something different than you have right now.

No matter how hot a gf was, there would allways come the point when she became a routine for me and i was turning my head for something completely different from what i had (blond/black, busty/slim, long/short). The "other" woman could even be of lower smv, i didnt care, because it was just for the sake of having something new/different.

Realizing that, the beauty-level of a woman became a semi-secondary thing in a LTR, as long as i got a boner on her and wouldnt be ashamed to be seen in the open with her.

EDIT:
So.... this problem is not going away, no matter what gf you have. Once you experienced sex with a quantity of women, you get used to the excitement a new conquest brings and will be wanting for new pvssy, whatever you got at home.

 

[Machine10033]

There has not been a time in my life where I didn’t find myself tempted or attracted to other women. If your relationship is great and she’s a solid partner then you need to have the discipline to resist those urges... there will always be hot girls tempting you.

 

[bat soup]

Hey guys,

Some of you know I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. She is amazing. Cooks for me, cleans, intelligent, self-less, will come over and fuuck/blow me on command whenever I want, has a great sex drive, submissive, etc.

So what's the problem?

Other women.

I know I have a good girl. But recently I have met (not fuucked, just conversed with) other women IRL (friend's wedding, downtown, etc.) and an old plate hit me up. Part of my brain always plays the "what if" scenario. I guess I don't have a specific question, just wondering how you guys have dealt with these feelings in the past if you've had them.

I suppose the obvious choice if you're having those thoughts would be to break up with the person you're with... but she's so good to me, and I fear that I would regret it if I didn't have her. But if I am having those thoughts already, am I just fighting an uphill battle with myself?

Thanks boys!

You don't have to break up with her. You could have an open relationship. That would be the preferable way of dealing with it, because then you won't have to waste time and energy sneaking around. Or you could just mess around on the side and be discreet.

 

[spikeanut]

OP, you're a red-blooded man; it's fine to be tempted by other attractive women. Men will always be physically lustful and attentive to attractive women, it's hardwired in our primal, caveman DNA.

My more concerning observation is you appear to be close to pedestalizing your girl after 2 months of dating. I'm always cautious when men state they "know" whether someone is a "good girl" or is "amazing" after a couple months of dating. You really won't know a girl until you go through some rough patches and past the honeymoon phase. It should be all hearts and roses this early on because they will be on their best behavior in trying to win your affection. Once the luster and gloss of the honeymoon passes, then you'll start seeing the real woman behind the curtain. Hopefully she remains good and amazing to you after that point; but 2 months really is a short vetting period. Good luck OP.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

OP, you're a red-blooded man; it's fine to be tempted by other attractive women. Men will always be physically lustful and attentive to attractive women, it's hardwired in our primal, caveman DNA.

My more concerning observation is you appear to be close to pedestalizing your girl after 2 months of dating. I'm always cautious when men state they "know" whether someone is a "good girl" or is "amazing" after a couple months of dating. You really won't know a girl until you go through some rough patches and past the honeymoon phase. It should be all hearts and roses this early on because they will be on their best behavior in trying to win your affection. Once the luster and gloss of the honeymoon passes, then you'll start seeing the real woman behind the curtain. Hopefully she remains good and amazing to you after that point; but 2 months really is a short vetting period. Good luck OP.

Yeah, you're right buddy. I am going to keep an open mind about things. Certainly not looking to progress things quickly at this point as I got out of a marriage not too long ago. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned getting divorced though. I will never settle or compromise again. Especially now that I know I can successfully spin plates.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

So.... this problem is not going away, no matter what gf you have. Once you experienced sex with a quantity of women, you get used to the excitement a new conquest brings and will be wanting for new pvssy, whatever you got at home.

That's exactly it too! It's the urge to conquer new pvssy. I remember back to spinning plates after getting divorced and the thrill of a new first date/lay. But there are obviously upsides to a good LTR as well. I am going to continue to keep an open mind and see how things go. I appreciate it man.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

You don't have to break up with her. You could have an open relationship. That would be the preferable way of dealing with it, because then you won't have to waste time and energy sneaking around. Or you could just mess around on the side and be discreet.

Have an open relationship... that is an interesting option. I feel like that would be a very difficult conversation to have haha. I wouldn't even know how to approach that one. Suggestions if I went that route?

 

[bat soup]

Have an open relationship... that is an interesting option. I feel like that would be a very difficult conversation to have haha. I wouldn't even know how to approach that one. Suggestions if I went that route?

Well, the thing is to just be honest and explain that you like her and want to continue seeing her but that you are still young and not ready to settle down yet and you want to be free to also see other girls. She might cry and at first she might not accept it, but if you hold strong there's a pretty good chance she'll either leave and then come back to you or that she'll just accept it.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Hey guys,

Some of you know I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. She is amazing. Cooks for me, cleans, intelligent, self-less, will come over and fuuck/blow me on command whenever I want, has a great sex drive, submissive, etc.

So what's the problem?

Other women.

I know I have a good girl. But recently I have met (not fuucked, just conversed with) other women IRL (friend's wedding, downtown, etc.) and an old plate hit me up. Part of my brain always plays the "what if" scenario. I guess I don't have a specific question, just wondering how you guys have dealt with these feelings in the past if you've had them.

I suppose the obvious choice if you're having those thoughts would be to break up with the person you're with... but she's so good to me, and I fear that I would regret it if I didn't have her. But if I am having those thoughts already, am I just fighting an uphill battle with myself?

Thanks boys!

I'll tell you straight up Them feelings they don't go away , at least they didn't for me anyway that's partly the reason my LTR had to end i just wanted more than she could offer both physically and mentally

She was a great girl too but just too bland … guess 50 years ago we may have gotten married and lived happily ever after but now there's just too many options , too many opportunities and too many ridiculously hot girls ......

 

[Lookatu]

I would say you're not ready for a relationship(at least with her). You like the perks that come with a relationship and welcome those aspects but not the monogamy. You want to have your cake and eat it too basically. Nothing wrong with that as a lot of guys would have that in an ideal world. But I know for me when I was with my wife, I didn't have these cravings for the first 6-8 years of being with her.

Part of that is keeping busy with other things. If you're not busy building wealth, hobbies, friends, etc. then you start thinking more about other girls and that's where you can get in trouble. But knowing that you have a good girl can allow you to focus on other things in life since that part of it is complete.

If you find that you're thinking of other girls, this girl is only good to you, not right for you. As the saying goes, two people can be good to each other but doesn't mean they are right for each other.

So as others have said, talk about open relationship or break it off. But do it in a way where you're leaving the door open to her coming back in your life later for when/if you decide you want to have a relationship with her. Just tell her you thought you were ready for a relationship but you're realizing that it's still too soon after your divorce and that you still have emotional issues you need to work out first.

Edit: I believe maybe it was @Pan87 that said this: "The biggest challenge for a man with options is to try and control the greed. The greed is endless"

Girls can be like drugs and it's easy to lose control for some.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I would say you're not ready for a relationship(at least with her). You like the perks that come with a relationship and welcome those aspects but not the monogamy. You want to have your cake and eat it too basically. Nothing wrong with that as a lot of guys would have that in an ideal world. But I know for me when I was with my wife, I didn't have these cravings for the first 6-8 years of being with her.

Part of that is keeping busy with other things. If you're not busy building wealth, hobbies, friends, etc. then you start thinking more about other girls and that's where you can get in trouble. But knowing that you have a good girl can allow you to focus on other things in life since that part of it is complete.

If you find that you're thinking of other girls, this girl is only good to you, not right for you. As the saying goes, two people can be good to each other but doesn't mean they are right for each other.

So as others have said, talk about open relationship or break it off. But do it in a way where you're leaving the door open to her coming back in your life later for when/if you decide you want to have a relationship with her. Just tell her you thought you were ready for a relationship but you're realizing that it's still too soon after your divorce and that you still have emotional issues you need to work out first.

Edit: I believe maybe it was @Pan87 that said this: "The biggest challenge for a man with options is to try and control the greed. The greed is endless"

Girls can be like drugs and it's easy to lose control for some.

Damn man, very well said. This is great advice. I definitely have some thinking to do. I have noticed I have been more preoccupied with building up my wealth, hobbies, etc., and I have enjoyed doing things together with her for fun that I would not of done with the other plates I was spinning.

Thanks again buddy.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

UPDATE: I had her over and told her tonight. I cannot live with guilt. She was obviously upset, seemed really sad, and left pretty abruptly. I feel shiitty right now, but it pales in comparison to knowing how bad I would feel continuing to lie to her and not be "All in" in our relationship.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Best advice I can offer is to process this guilt before knocking on these new opportunities.

Don't do as I did.

Like yourself, I was in a committed relationship, started seeing new exciting opportunities that I didn't want to pass up. I felt like a heel for breaking things off with my (then) girlfriend... because she gave no legitimate reason for me to do so (I just wanted to capitalize on these available opportunities).

I remember feeling like a rock-star and suddenly, most of the recent opportunities had expired. In retrospect, I suspect that this was partly due to my being single (women want what they can't have).. .also, when in a relationship, we sometimes give off a different vibe than when single (it's subtle, but women can pick up on this). Also, as related to the above, if we carry any feelings of guilt from how we dumped our most recent ex, this behavior (no matter how subtle, women can pick up on it) will be a liability.

The last thing you want to do is crash & burn, have one drink too many and call the ex back up. I've done it and you'll not feel as victorious when you wake up sober beside her.

I've enjoyed reading about your adventures. Keep us posted.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Women are incredibly sexually aggressive. I’ve managed to keep to nothing worse than some light kissing and fondling when on business travel. The knowledge that my GF would resort to physical violence helps keep me in check.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Best advice I can offer is to process this guilt before knocking on these new opportunities.

Don't do as I did.

Like yourself, I was in a committed relationship, started seeing new exciting opportunities that I didn't want to pass up. I felt like a heel for breaking things off with my (then) girlfriend... because she gave no legitimate reason for me to do so (I just wanted to capitalize on these available opportunities).

I remember feeling like a rock-star and suddenly, most of the recent opportunities had expired. In retrospect, I suspect that this was partly due to my being single (women want what they can't have).. .also, when in a relationship, we sometimes give off a different vibe than when single (it's subtle, but women can pick up on this). Also, as related to the above, if we carry any feelings of guilt from how we dumped our most recent ex, this behavior (no matter how subtle, women can pick up on it) will be a liability.

The last thing you want to do is crash & burn, have one drink too many and call the ex back up. I've done it and you'll not feel as victorious when you wake up sober beside her.

I've enjoyed reading about your adventures. Keep us posted.

Thanks man I appreciate the advice buddy. I will keep everyone updated! Just feeling a little shiittty today.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

UPDATE: I'm weak and downloaded the dating apps immediately to take my mind of things last night after she left. Karma is a ***** though. About an hour after getting the apps she sent me a screenshot (she must of downloaded them to) of my profile with the caption "Jesus Matt". To her, it must of looked like I had it a while when I agreed to exclusivity. I tried explaining to her.. but she wasn't having it. Now I definitely look like a douche but hey, I deserved that lol.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

UPDATE: I'm weak and downloaded the dating apps immediately to take my mind of things last night after she left. Karma is a ***** though. About an hour after getting the apps she sent me a screenshot (she must of downloaded them to) of my profile with the caption "Jesus Matt". To her, it must of looked like I had it a while when I agreed to exclusivity. I tried explaining to her.. but she wasn't having it. Now I definitely look like a douche but hey, I deserved that lol.

Doing "the right thing" rarely pays off with todays women.

Play to win!

 

[Ricky]

I think the affinity for novelty and variety never fades. That doesn't mean you have to act on it.

It is good to keep up the skills of good game and flirting. I work with a lot of women, so in a sense that kept my game going even though I've been retired from the game for years. Together with wife for 15 years, married for 12. Have been having a lot of issues since the fall with her though.

I think the degree to which a man has these feelings has more to do with him than the woman he is with. In my case I got married late at 35 so I had a lot of experience with women and pickup artistry. My brother 3 years older than me only dated a couple of women before his wife, so he probably has less of a novelty and variety circuit wired in his brain. His wife would make me miserable although she just recently seems to have found the right medication to make her tolerable be around. Now i'm the one in the family with the difficult wife unfortunately.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Doing "the right thing" rarely pays off with todays women.

Play to win!

Damn right brother. I am already setting up dates for this weekend.