Is it dead in the water ?

[BigFoot04]

Alright guys,

So I was friendly with this girl and we ended up becoming close and becoming Fwbs , she then a month later got into a relationship but me and her both agreed to meet as friends still cause we got on.
She ended up flaking me a bit and it doesn't help cause I'm really busy so I just ignored her , shes messaged me arranging to meet up ? Don't know what to do .

Thanks in advance

 

[SirBigBell]

Alright guys,

So I was friendly with this girl and we ended up becoming close and becoming Fwbs , she then a month later got into a relationship but me and her both agreed to meet as friends still cause we got on.
She ended up flaking me a bit and it doesn't help cause I'm really busy so I just ignored her , shes messaged me arranging to meet up ? Don't know what to do .

Thanks in advance

How would you feel if you were the other guy and your new girlfriend was planning to meet a guy she used to fvck on a casual basis, but meeting up just as friends because they got on?

Put yourself in the other brother’s shoes for a min, and give yourself the answer you seek

 

[BigFoot04]

Is she still with the other guy?

Yeah she is

 

[BigFoot04]

You're orbiting brah. You ain't busy. You're writing about her here and asking for advice. Be honest with yourself.

I've messaged her to let her know I won't be seeing her anymore , but I've wished her luck and what not and she did the same

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Alright guys,

So I was friendly with this girl and we ended up becoming close and becoming Fwbs , she then a month later got into a relationship but me and her both agreed to meet as friends still cause we got on.
She ended up flaking me a bit and it doesn't help cause I'm really busy so I just ignored her , shes messaged me arranging to meet up ? Don't know what to do .

Thanks in advance

Never agree to meet a woman as friends. That isn't what you want. She may not like it if you told her that you can't see her anymore if you just are going to be friends(w/o benefits), but she would respect it.

Tell her that you've thought about it and that you aren't going to be able to see her anymore under those conditions, wish her luck and let her know to get back to you if she changes her mind. Then walk away and do not contact her anymore. She will contact you at some point and when she does you invite her to get together for a drink at your place and assume she is DTF.

It isn't dead in the water, you just need to show her you are willing to walk away if you don't get what you want and then actually do it and be patient. But don't do it because you expect her to come back, do it because you are respecting yourself and focus on meeting other women in the meantime. When you respect yourself and are willing to walk away, women will respect you and will remember that and come back because it is so rare to find these days.

 

[BigFoot04]

Never agree to meet a woman as friends. That isn't what you want. She may not like it if you told her that you can't see her anymore if you just are going to be friends(w/o benefits), but she would respect it.

Tell her that you've thought about it and that you aren't going to be able to see her anymore under those conditions, wish her luck and let her know to get back to you if she changes her mind. Then walk away and do not contact her anymore. She will contact you at some point and when she does you invite her to get together for a drink at your place and assume she is DTF.

It isn't dead in the water, you just need to show her you are willing to walk away if you don't get what you want and then actually do it and be patient. But don't do it because you expect her to come back, do it because you are respecting yourself and focus on meeting other women in the meantime. When you respect yourself and are willing to walk away, women will respect you and will remember that and come back because it is so rare to find these days.

Best advice I've ever got tbh , I've already sent a message , is it too late to return to say that ?

 

[inquisitor]

Seeing that you're as fairly new as me, there is no quick fix for this thing. Don't do something because someone on the forum said you should, do something because it's what you think and feel of doing best. Read here and gain insight, but in the end what matters is what you decide to do about it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Best advice I've ever got tbh , I've already sent a message , is it too late to return to say that ?

No...just let her know you've thought about it more over the weekend and changed your mind. Don't be butt hurt or accusatory, be cordial and friendly about it and wish her the best. Let her know you respect her decision but that isn't what you are interested in after thinking through things more.

Her hamster will spin like never before if she has any sort of interest in you at all. Maybe even more so because now you've changed your mind.

Then forget about her and focus on other things in your life and other women. She will be back at some point, I can almost guarantee it. And if not, she simply wasn't interested enough and you've saved yourself a lot of wasted time. Either way a win win.

Value yourself and your time more than any women and you will always be respecting yourself in their eyes.

 

[PRW63]

So I was friendly with this girl and we ended up becoming close and becoming Fwbs , she then a month later got into a relationship but me and her both agreed to meet as friends still cause we got on.
She ended up flaking me a bit and it doesn't help cause I'm really busy so I just ignored her , shes messaged me arranging to meet up ? Don't know what to do .

Why are you treating a FWB as a "relationship"? FWB is a "Zero",...it is nothing. It is two people using each other for sex.

She has a guy now. He is THE guy now,...not you. Do you really think that guy is going to tolerated an Orditer that she was previously banging to linger around?

 

[BigFoot04]

Why are you treating a FWB as a "relationship"? FWB is a "Zero",...it is nothing. It is two people using each other for sex.

She has a guy now. He is THE guy now,...not you. Do you really think that guy is going to tolerated an Orditer that she was previously banging to linger around?

She made it so he didn't have a choice

 

[PRW63]

She made it so he didn't have a choice

There was no choice to make. The guy was "nothing" from the beginning. That is what FWB IS,...it is "nothing", both parties by definition are "nothings",...it is NOT a relationship. It blows my mind that these guys agree to FWB's yet they still expect it to become something. FWB means that when she is not in "visual range" of you that she can bang whoever she wants,...so expect her to do just that. These guys are just using FWB to replace the old method of agreeing to "Let's Just Be Friends" (LJBF) and hoping to fly in under the radar and then when they think the "time is right" they will "pop" their feelings on her,...she will swoon,...and they will ride off into the sunset together. It is not likely to work that way. FWB is just LJBF-with-sex. The reality is that she is on the lookout for someone better the whole time,...that is why she agreed to the FWB,...the guy is just a place holder. Now maybe a FWB could turn into something because the sex can generate emotions in her (if she isn't too damaged),...but the guy better understand how the world works,...be very skilled and on his game,...and know what he is doing. Most do not.

If 30 is the new 20, then FWB is the new "Let's Just Be Friends" (LJBF).