The whole surname thing goes back to a time when women married into a family and became part of that family through marriage. Since women are hypergamous, poor peasant girls would marry into a rich family and become important. It's only when two rich families came together that they might want to conserve their own family name.
Generally, even in 2021, women are still marrying up. It's very rare that a woman marries a man that earns less than her. That's their choice, but if they make that choice then I think they should recognize their status as junior partners. In any case I don't personally think that relationships work when the woman is leading. A woman that insists on keeping her surname is probably a woman that doesn't respect her man the way a woman should.
In Spain, when a couple get married they keep their two surnames and the children take the two first surnames of their parents. In Arab countries, a woman doesn't change her name when she gets married but the children take the father's surname. So it's not a universal thing anyway.