Spending hours on the phone with a woman

[Ricky]

I can’t see any case where spending hours on the phone would increase a womans attraction towards you.

Are there any exceptions to this? Cultural exceptions etc?

I am a good conversationalist but always left women wanting more....I purposely limited conversation time

 

[spikeanut]

Hours...never. When dating, my phone calls consist of, "I'm here, come out." In an LTR, I will then ease up and make the occasional 15-30m phone call to supplement the once or twice a week I see her. As the LTR progresses, the physical contact will gradually go up to 3x/week at the most. Phones calls every other day-ish if there's a prolong period of non-physical contact; and even then the longest would probably be 30 minutes or so to catch up and allow them to get their emotional validation; but again, those are only reserved for LTRs.

 

[The Duke]

I can’t see any case where spending hours on the phone would increase a womans attraction towards you.

Are there any exceptions to this? Cultural exceptions etc?

I am a good conversationalist but always left women wanting more....I purposely limited conversation time

I spent about 5hrs texting back and forth with a girl one late Friday afternoon several years ago. By midnight I was headed to her place for sex. Had wild pornstar sex for 3hrs. Never talked to her before that either.

Several others I spent 2-3hrs talking on then phone which helped grease the skids for first date sex.
MAny women have told me that it's rare for a guy to want to talk to them much before a first date.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

I spent about 5hrs texting back and forth with a girl one late Friday afternoon several years ago. By midnight I was headed to her place for sex. Had wild pornstar sex for 3hrs. Never talked to her before that either.

Several others I spent 2-3hrs talking on then phone which helped grease the skids for first date sex.
MAny women have told me that it's rare for a guy to want to talk to them much before a first date.

What the hel1 is there to talk about for 3 hours?

 

[17 shots]

I've had long ass phone calls, like 2 to 4 hours, that led to meeting up that night and having sex. Did it recently a couple months ago with a chick off POF.

When a woman gets comfortable enough with you on the phone and she likes your voice, then there's a chance the conversation can turn sexual

 

[The Duke]

What the hel1 is there to talk about for 3 hours?

Hobbies, life story, what you/her like, music, where you grew up, childhood memories, crazy dating stories. Same things you might talk about on an in person date. When you have a genuine interest in someone it's actually pretty easy. I think the longest I was ever on the phone with a girl I hadn't met was 7hrs. First date was so easy, we were super comfortable with each other because we already laid the ground work. Took her to dinner then her office and banged her on the conference table. Women connect thru conversation. I've always enjoyed meeting new women and seducing thru conversation.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I can’t see any case where spending hours on the phone would increase a womans attraction towards you.

Are there any exceptions to this? Cultural exceptions etc?

I am a good conversationalist but always left women wanting more....I purposely limited conversation time

With the right talker it works... Most guys talking too much is only going to hurt him. When you realize she already wants you,t here is nothing else to do but hit it asap. Keep hitting it to keep her coming.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Hobbies, life story, what you/her like, music, where you grew up, childhood memories, crazy dating stories. Same things you might talk about on an in person date. When you have a genuine interest in someone it's actually pretty easy. I think the longest I was ever on the phone with a girl I hadn't met was 7hrs. First date was so easy, we were super comfortable with each other because we already laid the ground work. Took her to dinner then her office and banged her on the conference table. Women connect thru conversation. I've always enjoyed meeting new women and seducing thru conversation.

I did this when I was younger. Like when everything was new to me. Now it just seems boring. Maybe that will never change.

 

[Ricky]

I think back in the day i had some long instant messaging sessions. For some reason i can’t see doing the same on text. Text lends itself more to sporadic use during the day...

Maybe i am just more busy then i used to be. I guess realistically back in the day for the longest time i didnt have unlimited minutes so that could explain it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I spent about 5hrs texting back and forth with a girl one late Friday afternoon several years ago. By midnight I was headed to her place for sex. Had wild pornstar sex for 3hrs. Never talked to her before that either.

Several others I spent 2-3hrs talking on then phone which helped grease the skids for first date sex.
MAny women have told me that it's rare for a guy to want to talk to them much before a first date.

I believe you, and while I haven't ever gone from texting straight to sex on the same day, when I first met my now ex-wife, we texted quite a bit before getting together (that was back when I was blue pilled). It worked well, and we ended up hooking up on our first date, but I don't do that any more because there is too much chance of wasting time. I am curious as to your success rate with women when you text them a lot... how many ended up being a waste of time?

The second issue is that women are so weird when it comes to texting! I do well with women at this point in my life but I feel like the last frontier for me is feeling out the communication levels. Every woman is different and each of them feel very differently about communication levels, yet you don't know how much they want. Don't initiate text with one woman multiple times a day and she thinks you are a player and/or not that into her and she ghosts/flakes you. Text another woman multiple times a day and she thinks you are thirsty and she ghosts/flakes you. I've tried everything, waiting 3-5 days, texting every day, letting her set the lead in terms of frequency, only texting to set dates and not initiating contact over text beyond that. The one thing I do consistently though, is if she initiates text I will always respond, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but the point is that I never ignore her texts and if she seems really into talking I will absolutely talk and turn on the charm, though I only have substantial back and forths if she has already agreed to a date at a specific time/place in the future.

The issue is despite all the experimentation above, when I ended up getting ghosted/flaked on, I have to wonder if it was due to too much or not enough communication, even if the amount I texted each woman was exactly the same. The worst part of this is that A: I will never know if communication level was the reason and B: I haven't been able to feel out anything that really helps me get a solid grasp on which ones want more vs less, and believe me, I've looked at a lot of variables. So at this point, I've come to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with communication levels and there were probably many other factors going on in their lives, and that could be combined with possible low-medium interest. That's the most frustrating part is that as men, we are problem solvers and we want to believe everything is in our span of control - "had I just texted more or just texted less it would have worked out," but you'll never know. So because of this, I stick to my general text rules of keeping initiation low and limited and primarily focused on setting dates so as not to waste time.

I could give a handful of mind-blowing examples where things were going incredibly well with women I had cold-approached or warm approached. Got first dates, made out, lots of chemistry, but then was ghosted or flaked on after that. Keep in mind, that isn't the most common outcome I experience, it's just that things were SO on with these women that I still scratch my head and wonder if there actually was anything I could have done differently (IE communication frequency), or if it was just things on their end outside of my control. I assume the latter but am always looking to improve.

 

[SW15]

I stick to my general text rules of keeping initiation low and limited and primarily focused on setting dates so as not to waste time.

This is the way to do it. No conversations in text message, just arranging logistics. That's even ideal to do as relationships progress and exclusivity as a couple happens. Text messaging isn't a good format for romantic relationships or complicated stuff.

As for phone calls, before sex and exclusivity, 20 minutes maximum. Once sex happens and when exclusivity happens, that maximum can be taken up to 30 minutes, unless travel or other circumstances come into play. Phone calls aren't all that great in LTRs either.

Millennial women (1982-1996) are not big on phone calls anyway. I can't imagine Gen Z is going to be big into phone calls.

 

[The Duke]

I believe you, and while I haven't ever gone from texting straight to sex on the same day, when I first met my now ex-wife, we texted quite a bit before getting together (that was back when I was blue pilled). It worked well, and we ended up hooking up on our first date, but I don't do that any more because there is too much chance of wasting time. I am curious as to your success rate with women when you text them a lot... how many ended up being a waste of time?

The second issue is that women are so weird when it comes to texting! I do well with women at this point in my life but I feel like the last frontier for me is feeling out the communication levels. Every woman is different and each of them feel very differently about communication levels, yet you don't know how much they want. Don't initiate text with one woman multiple times a day and she thinks you are a player and/or not that into her and she ghosts/flakes you. Text another woman multiple times a day and she thinks you are thirsty and she ghosts/flakes you. I've tried everything, waiting 3-5 days, texting every day, letting her set the lead in terms of frequency, only texting to set dates and not initiating contact over text beyond that. The one thing I do consistently though, is if she initiates text I will always respond, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but the point is that I never ignore her texts and if she seems really into talking I will absolutely talk and turn on the charm, though I only have substantial back and forths if she has already agreed to a date at a specific time/place in the future.

The issue is despite all the experimentation above, when I ended up getting ghosted/flaked on, I have to wonder if it was due to too much or not enough communication, even if the amount I texted each woman was exactly the same. The worst part of this is that A: I will never know if communication level was the reason and B: I haven't been able to feel out anything that really helps me get a solid grasp on which ones want more vs less, and believe me, I've looked at a lot of variables. So at this point, I've come to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with communication levels and there were probably many other factors going on in their lives, and that could be combined with possible low-medium interest. That's the most frustrating part is that as men, we are problem solvers and we want to believe everything is in our span of control - "had I just texted more or just texted less it would have worked out," but you'll never know. So because of this, I stick to my general text rules of keeping initiation low and limited and primarily focused on setting dates so as not to waste time.

I could give a handful of mind-blowing examples where things were going incredibly well with women I had cold-approached or warm approached. Got first dates, made out, lots of chemistry, but then was ghosted or flaked on after that. Keep in mind, that isn't the most common outcome I experience, it's just that things were SO on with these women that I still scratch my head and wonder if there actually was anything I could have done differently (IE communication frequency), or if it was just things on their end outside of my control. I assume the latter but am always looking to improve.

I'd only spend time on girls that were fun and engaging over the phone/text. If the conversation stayed fun, flirty, and was escalating to something sexual I stayed in it. Some are great candidates, others you may end up wasting your time like you said. The key is to read the situation and do what's best to meet your goals. Everybody wants a one size fool proof method, but there is no such thing. I've never been a subscriber to some of the black and white thinking that gets published on this forum. Women certainly aren't black and white as you mentioned. The best skill a guy can learn is how to correctly read women quickly.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

I believe you, and while I haven't ever gone from texting straight to sex on the same day, when I first met my now ex-wife, we texted quite a bit before getting together (that was back when I was blue pilled). It worked well, and we ended up hooking up on our first date, but I don't do that any more because there is too much chance of wasting time. I am curious as to your success rate with women when you text them a lot... how many ended up being a waste of time?

The second issue is that women are so weird when it comes to texting! I do well with women at this point in my life but I feel like the last frontier for me is feeling out the communication levels. Every woman is different and each of them feel very differently about communication levels, yet you don't know how much they want. Don't initiate text with one woman multiple times a day and she thinks you are a player and/or not that into her and she ghosts/flakes you. Text another woman multiple times a day and she thinks you are thirsty and she ghosts/flakes you. I've tried everything, waiting 3-5 days, texting every day, letting her set the lead in terms of frequency, only texting to set dates and not initiating contact over text beyond that. The one thing I do consistently though, is if she initiates text I will always respond, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but the point is that I never ignore her texts and if she seems really into talking I will absolutely talk and turn on the charm, though I only have substantial back and forths if she has already agreed to a date at a specific time/place in the future.

The issue is despite all the experimentation above, when I ended up getting ghosted/flaked on, I have to wonder if it was due to too much or not enough communication, even if the amount I texted each woman was exactly the same. The worst part of this is that A: I will never know if communication level was the reason and B: I haven't been able to feel out anything that really helps me get a solid grasp on which ones want more vs less, and believe me, I've looked at a lot of variables. So at this point, I've come to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with communication levels and there were probably many other factors going on in their lives, and that could be combined with possible low-medium interest. That's the most frustrating part is that as men, we are problem solvers and we want to believe everything is in our span of control - "had I just texted more or just texted less it would have worked out," but you'll never know. So because of this, I stick to my general text rules of keeping initiation low and limited and primarily focused on setting dates so as not to waste time.

I could give a handful of mind-blowing examples where things were going incredibly well with women I had cold-approached or warm approached. Got first dates, made out, lots of chemistry, but then was ghosted or flaked on after that. Keep in mind, that isn't the most common outcome I experience, it's just that things were SO on with these women that I still scratch my head and wonder if there actually was anything I could have done differently (IE communication frequency), or if it was just things on their end outside of my control. I assume the latter but am always looking to improve.

It amounts to trying to figure out nonsense.

I only talk when I have something important to say.

 

[BadBoy89]

I think it all depends on who INITIATES the phone call. If the girl phones, I can spend hours talking to her. But I would never initiate a phone call, only initiate through text, very quick, very to the point.

I believe if a girl initiates, the man can deepen the intimacy level with her by just talking and talking and talking. Eventually the girl will start falling in love all the while the man hasn’t really done anything.

It’s all about the connection and intimacy level with these girls.