I am involuntary celibate

[Heathcliff]

Hey guys. I am a 44 year old man. I lost my virginity at 19. I have had sporadic sexual encounters, mostly one night stands with girls from bars. I no longer drink. I often wonder what it is that I am doing wrong or what I could do better. It is kind of overwhelming, I do not know where to start. I dont really know how to interact with women in a sexual way. I have sex with lots of prostitutes and would like to stop doing that.

I could stand to lose 20 pounds, make more money, get better clothes, etc but ultimately I think my game is lacking most. I live in Columbus Ohio and would be interested in meeting other like minded men who are also interested in self improvement. Needless to say, there is much to improve.

 

[Chamber36]

Firstly you probably need to read some books.

How to be a 3% Man by Corey Wayne
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
The Game by Neil Strauss
Models by Mark Manson

And you probably need to deal with a bunch more issues.

Get on the grind and lose the weight. Deal with your demons and build the confidence. You have to believe that you are an addition to another person's life.

What qualities are you looking for in another person? Do you have those qualities? What do you need to do to acheive those qualities and exude the aura you want to exude? Can you enter the grave with a sense of satisfaction about all other aspects of your life? Have you done everything you want to do?

Make sure you can be proud to introduce yourself to the women you meet.

It's a multifaceted approach. You may want to start meditation or yoga to attain and project the peace of mind you need, as well as improve your flexibility and posture. You may want to do Jiu Jitsu or another martial art so that you can be confident you can be the protector your woman needs. A martial art will make a huge difference allowing you to own your masculinity as masculinity is what attracts feminine women.

You enter a relationship to give to a woman. Imagine what a woman may want and see if you can match up to that. Although you have to be your authentic self, make sure you can be your best or your ideal self.

If you approach it like this, assuming your financial situation is ok, you can make a lot of headway.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hey guys. I am a 44 year old man. I lost my virginity at 19. I have had sporadic sexual encounters, mostly one night stands with girls from bars. I no longer drink. I often wonder what it is that I am doing wrong or what I could do better. It is kind of overwhelming, I do not know where to start. I dont really know how to interact with women in a sexual way. I have sex with lots of prostitutes and would like to stop doing that.

I could stand to lose 20 pounds, make more money, get better clothes, etc but ultimately I think my game is lacking most. I live in Columbus Ohio and would be interested in meeting other like minded men who are also interested in self improvement. Needless to say, there is much to improve.

What do you think is holding you back in life? If you were to rate your looks, style and how you hold yourself in public, what would you rate yourself?

Are you more masculine or feminine?

Are you depressed?

How's your social network?

 

[corrector]

You have sex with prostitutes? How many did you sleep with? Do you feel guilty about that?

 

[Chamber36]

You have sex with prostitutes? Do you feel guilty about that?

This is your attempt at being helpful? Why dont you start your own thread?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

In the great words of Lester, from The Wire, "All the pieces matter"

 

[corrector]

This is your attempt at being helpful? Why dont you start your own thread?

Did you have sex with prostitutes? I think you did and had a bad session.

 

[BMX]

Like CGA said, women will see right through the facade you put up with all the nice clothing, cologne, nice cars and all other tricks you employ without actually having any confidence or respect in yourself. Improve in steps, because your time for faking it 'til you make it is long gone.

 

[corrector]

You're an Incel and a troll.

Go away.

You like the OP thread and you write this?

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Hey guys. I am a 44 year old man. I lost my virginity at 19. I have had sporadic sexual encounters, mostly one night stands with girls from bars. I no longer drink. I often wonder what it is that I am doing wrong or what I could do better. It is kind of overwhelming, I do not know where to start. I dont really know how to interact with women in a sexual way. I have sex with lots of prostitutes and would like to stop doing that.

I could stand to lose 20 pounds, make more money, get better clothes, etc but ultimately I think my game is lacking most. I live in Columbus Ohio and would be interested in meeting other like minded men who are also interested in self improvement. Needless to say, there is much to improve.

What is it that you think you're missing?

It's not exactly appropriate to talk sexually with females you meet just in the normal course of your day. So what are you even saying? First you would need to be out on a date or something, right?

What makes you think you're missing anything?

 

[characternote]

You've had one nights stands with girls from bars, so you obviously DO kind of know what to do?
(You'd be surprised at how many people have never managed to pull that off!)

 

[MatureDJ]

I have had sporadic sexual encounters, mostly one night stands with girls from bars.

How fat were they?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What do you think is holding you back in life? If you were to rate your looks, style and how you hold yourself in public, what would you rate yourself?

Are you more masculine or feminine?

Are you depressed?

How's your social network?

The same thing that holds anyone back. Their own mind attempting to prevent change from the status quo. The brain has one purpose...to help you survive. It isn't worried about you thriving.

As such, it prefers the known. The unknown, aka any deviation from past patterns that have been set up in your life, represents danger and fear and it will try and talk you out of making any meaningful changes.

 

[MatureDJ]

The same thing that holds anyone back. Their own mind attempting to prevent change from the status quo. The brain has one purpose...to help you survive. It isn't worried about you thriving.

As such, it prefers the known. The unknown, aka any deviation from past patterns that have been set up in your life, represents danger and fear and it will try and talk you out of making any meaningful changes.

For the most part, it's not the "danger", but rather the return on investment. Let's say the Incel OP GymMaxxed - would that make him Chad-tier, or would it mean he would have ascended from Incel-tier to GymCel-tier? Maybe he could EntrepreneurMax in the hope of becoming a gazillionaire - what are the chances of succeeds vs. the toil to try? How about DayGameMaxxing? What about all the time spent doing that?

There are some folks here that don't like the idea of EscortMaxxing - but, especially if also LocationMaxxing , the cost of money or time (which is like the way that matter & energy are really one in the same) per ejaculat!on is far, far lower with EscortMaxxing than GameMaxxing. At time point, the typical Rational Sexual Actor determines that GameMaxxing is just not worth it anymore. Now that doesn't mean that the schlub give up totally on canonical dating, just that he won't devote all of the time doing things that he would not want to just do without the stochastic return in poon (e.g., if he enjoyed listening to live bands, he could continue to do that and try to pick up chicks while doing that, but he would want to do that in the first case. etc.). It would make far more sense to spend one's free time LaborMaxxing to build up savings that would allow one to LocationMax in very early retirement.

 

[lost_blackbird]

(You'd be surprised at how many people have never managed to pull that off!)

I haven't! I'm older than the OP. Never had a one night stand in my life.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

For the most part, it's not the "danger", but rather the return on investment. Let's say the Incel OP GymMaxxed - would that make him Chad-tier, or would it mean he would have ascended from Incel-tier to GymCel-tier? Maybe he could EntrepreneurMax in the hope of becoming a gazillionaire - what are the chances of succeeds vs. the toil to try? How about DayGameMaxxing? What about all the time spent doing that?

There are some folks here that don't like the idea of EscortMaxxing - but, especially if also LocationMaxxing , the cost of money or time (which is like the way that matter & energy are really one in the same) per ejaculat!on is far, far lower with EscortMaxxing than GameMaxxing. At time point, the typical Rational Sexual Actor determines that GameMaxxing is just not worth it anymore. Now that doesn't mean that the schlub give up totally on canonical dating, just that he won't devote all of the time doing things that he would not want to just do without the stochastic return in poon (e.g., if he enjoyed listening to live bands, he could continue to do that and try to pick up chicks while doing that, but he would want to do that in the first case. etc.). It would make far more sense to spend one's free time LaborMaxxing to build up savings that would allow one to LocationMax in very early retirement.

All of these are thought distortions bullsh!t reasons people talk themselves out of doing something to better themselves.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You've had one nights stands with girls from bars, so you obviously DO kind of know what to do?
(You'd be surprised at how many people have never managed to pull that off!)

its not hard to do it with a low smv woman though

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Hey guys. I am a 44 year old man. I lost my virginity at 19. I have had sporadic sexual encounters, mostly one night stands with girls from bars. I no longer drink. I often wonder what it is that I am doing wrong or what I could do better. It is kind of overwhelming, I do not know where to start. I dont really know how to interact with women in a sexual way. I have sex with lots of prostitutes and would like to stop doing that.

I could stand to lose 20 pounds, make more money, get better clothes, etc but ultimately I think my game is lacking most. I live in Columbus Ohio and would be interested in meeting other like minded men who are also interested in self improvement. Needless to say, there is much to improve.

*Start by chasing excellence, not pvssy.

*Focus on becoming the best version of yourself = hit the gym, improve financially, improve your style, put in the effort -> DO THE WORK!

*Educate yourself about women on youtube or books: Rollo Tomassi, Richard Cooper, Coach Red Pill, Donovan Sharpe etc.etc. invaluable info from these guys

*Once you are on the way (started doing the 3 things above), you will experience that your mindset will change, you will be proud of what you achieve and for who you are/become. With that, women will see you in a different light before you even try to open up with game.

*You dont have to be rich, you dont have to drive a Porsche, you dont have to be Brad Pitt to get into the top 10% of men.

*If you think there is a cheap way to success by using a game-cheatbook from some PUA, you are in for a disappointment.

Good luck!

 

[Mike32ct]

1. How is your hair? Full, balding, buzzed, shaved, etc?

 

[Mike32ct]

For the most part, it's not the "danger", but rather the return on investment. Let's say the Incel OP GymMaxxed - would that make him Chad-tier, or would it mean he would have ascended from Incel-tier to GymCel-tier? Maybe he could EntrepreneurMax in the hope of becoming a gazillionaire - what are the chances of succeeds vs. the toil to try? How about DayGameMaxxing? What about all the time spent doing that?

There are some folks here that don't like the idea of EscortMaxxing - but, especially if also LocationMaxxing , the cost of money or time (which is like the way that matter & energy are really one in the same) per ejaculat!on is far, far lower with EscortMaxxing than GameMaxxing. At time point, the typical Rational Sexual Actor determines that GameMaxxing is just not worth it anymore. Now that doesn't mean that the schlub give up totally on canonical dating, just that he won't devote all of the time doing things that he would not want to just do without the stochastic return in poon (e.g., if he enjoyed listening to live bands, he could continue to do that and try to pick up chicks while doing that, but he would want to do that in the first case. etc.). It would make far more sense to spend one's free time LaborMaxxing to build up savings that would allow one to LocationMax in very early retirement.

Actually, there is a danger. A ‘cel tier guy really can’t do mass (high volume) approaching without consequences. He can possibly do some limited, sporadic approaching here and there, but he needs to be careful and space them out.

TLDR: An unattractive guy could dabble with game, but I wouldn’t recommend he go “all out” PUA in 2021.