Going from poor to rich - advice

[Murk]

I quit my job June 2020 due to the utter disrespect and lack of care my previous bosses showed me during the pandemic. I've always struggled with bad bosses and I've been fired from 5 out of 7 jobs. I've been doing this for 9 years, know the market, the game, and well connected in my niche. I started my own firm, abided by the non-compete and didn't touch any of my clients until Jan 2021.

Fast forward to the present day, I've been ghost mode from friends and family working 16 hours a day including weekends. 30-60 minutes playing Call of Duty is a guilty pleasure/reward for me. I no longer have an interest in anything other than making my business work/grow. I wake up at 6:30am and work, work out for 45 mins a day, work, eat, sleep, repeat.

I've secured and delivered on 3 major projects over the last 3 months and made £106,000, net profit, in my business account of course, but set to make much much more Q2 and I don't even have a fraction of my clients on board yet. I plan to open an office and hire some employees while I focus on business development and eventually, hopefully, have some free time (at this point for what I don't know). I never understood the idea of a start-up taking over your life, that was until I cut all drugs/alcohol/women/sugar out of my life (February 2021).

Every fibre in my body is telling me to get some cocaine and alcohol tonight to celebrate alone (I can't tell friends and family about what I've earned and what my pipeline is or how bright the future looks).

I'm having visions of ridiculous spending, I'm struggling to stay grounded as I grew up dirt poor, just a boy with a dream, my parents both died and I'm an only child. I legit only have some friends and family I'm not close with.

How can I stay sane/grounded and live discreetly?

I welcome any and all advice - I'm not materialistic in the slightest, money meant nothing to me until now.

How do you deal with coming into money and not turning into a prick?

 

[firstbornunicorn]

If you're not a prick in the first place money won't turn you into one. It just magnifies what you already are. Plenty of drug addicts are only alive because they're broke and can't buy enough to OD. Careful where you end up.

 

[DonJuanjr]

How do you deal with coming into money and not turning into a prick?

It sounds like the real question you should be asking yourself is "How do I deal with coming into money and not become an addict again".

 

[Lookatu]

Just being aware of not wanting to turn into a prick is half the battle.

Choosing the right environment and people you hang out with can also help you stay grounded.

Always look at humility and doing things to be humble. For example, most everyone on my block hires landscapers to mow their lawns. I'm one of the few that does it myself. I don't do it to save money. I do it for humility and to stay grounded.

Don't think anything is beneath you the wealthier you get.

Think that it can go as fast as it came.

Volunteer at least once a year in your community like food pantries, neighborhood revitalization efforts, etc. to see how good you got it.

Physically drive yourself to Salvation Army and thrift stores to donate your old clothes. Don't just drop them off but go hang out in the store and look around. You end up conversing with the less fortunate and helps you keep your perspective on how lucky and privelaged you are to be in your position.

Work on balancing being rich with being rich on the inside(personality, inner confidence, being a good person, etc)

Do not flaunt it or brag about it. This doesn't mean you can't have nice quality things or things you want to splurge on for YOURSELF. Do it for you and not others though. For example, I have a few nice cars but I buy them because I enjoy them and driving them for ME. Not to show off or use as an accessory to wow anyone else.

Think of always investing rather than spending.

Continue on spending money wisely just like you were poor.

And think of all the intangibles and work on that. What I mean by that:
- Health - no amount of money is going to keep you healthy and it's something you must do yourself. Things like Cancer doesn't discriminate between the rich or poor either so know you can be rich but die.

- Time - no amount of money is going to buy time. You can't rewind it or buy it so use it wisely and with the right people.

- People - you can't buy people with money(at least someone that genuinely likes you). Look to treating everyone well and learn who are true friends and who are not and will stab you in the back or run away if you ever got poor. There's a lot of rich azzholes out there with a lot of fake friends. Don't fall into that trap.

These are all good things to think about.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You surround yourself with better people than you have been

 

[RickTheToad]

I quit my job June 2020 due to the utter disrespect and lack of care my previous bosses showed me during the pandemic. I've always struggled with bad bosses and I've been fired from 5 out of 7 jobs. I've been doing this for 9 years, know the market, the game, and well connected in my niche. I started my own firm, abided by the non-compete and didn't touch any of my clients until Jan 2021.

Fast forward to the present day, I've been ghost mode from friends and family working 16 hours a day including weekends. 30-60 minutes playing Call of Duty is a guilty pleasure/reward for me. I no longer have an interest in anything other than making my business work/grow. I wake up at 6:30am and work, work out for 45 mins a day, work, eat, sleep, repeat.

I've secured and delivered on 3 major projects over the last 3 months and made £106,000, net profit, in my business account of course, but set to make much much more Q2 and I don't even have a fraction of my clients on board yet. I plan to open an office and hire some employees while I focus on business development and eventually, hopefully, have some free time (at this point for what I don't know). I never understood the idea of a start-up taking over your life, that was until I cut all drugs/alcohol/women/sugar out of my life (February 2021).

Every fibre in my body is telling me to get some cocaine and alcohol tonight to celebrate alone (I can't tell friends and family about what I've earned and what my pipeline is or how bright the future looks).

I'm having visions of ridiculous spending, I'm struggling to stay grounded as I grew up dirt poor, just a boy with a dream, my parents both died and I'm an only child. I legit only have some friends and family I'm not close with.

How can I stay sane/grounded and live discreetly?

I welcome any and all advice - I'm not materialistic in the slightest, money meant nothing to me until now.

How do you deal with coming into money and not turning into a prick?

Why would money change the person you are? Celebrating a bit isn't a bad thing; just the drugs are. Skip the drugs and you'll be fine.

 

[Murk]

Just being aware of not wanting to turn into a prick is half the battle.

Choosing the right environment and people you hang out with can also help you stay grounded.

Always look at humility and doing things to be humble. For example, most everyone on my block hires landscapers to mow their lawns. I'm one of the few that does it myself. I don't do it to save money. I do it for humility and to stay grounded.

Don't think anything is beneath you the wealthier you get.

Think that it can go as fast as it came.

Volunteer at least once a year in your community like food pantries, neighborhood revitalization efforts, etc. to see how good you got it.

Physically drive yourself to Salvation Army and thrift stores to donate your old clothes. Don't just drop them off but go hang out in the store and look around. You end up conversing with the less fortunate and helps you keep your perspective on how lucky and privelaged you are to be in your position.

Work on balancing being rich with being rich on the inside(personality, inner confidence, being a good person, etc)

Do not flaunt it or brag about it. This doesn't mean you can't have nice quality things or things you want to splurge on for YOURSELF. Do it for you and not others though. For example, I have a few nice cars but I buy them because I enjoy them and driving them for ME. Not to show off or use as an accessory to wow anyone else.

Think of always investing rather than spending.

Continue on spending money wisely just like you were poor.

And think of all the intangibles and work on that. What I mean by that:
- Health - no amount of money is going to keep you healthy and it's something you must do yourself. Things like Cancer doesn't discriminate between the rich or poor either so know you can be rich but die.

- Time - no amount of money is going to buy time. You can't rewind it or buy it so use it wisely and with the right people.

- People - you can't buy people with money(at least someone that genuinely likes you). Look to treating everyone well and learn who are true friends and who are not and will stab you in the back or run away if you ever got poor. There's a lot of rich azzholes out there with a lot of fake friends. Don't fall into that trap.

These are all good things to think about.

All good points, for 10 years I've planned to visit Africa for humanitarian work, physical labour (not just throwing money), my ex gf said I should just donate, but I want physical sweat on soil kind of work.

When I say turn into a prick I really mean lose sight of where I came from, it's not in me to turn into a prick. I've lived nearly a year without being paid, I have savings from my old job, I've budgeted and always live frugally even though my jobs paid well.

I'm talking about an excess of money, where all your needs are already met. I guess I'm just overwhelmed at the situation and have nobody to share it with, I'm always an "it won't happen to me" kind of person, I have the worst luck in life, my childhood was terrible, I wish my parents were here.

Yes, I ended up getting the coke tonight and I have no regrets, I worked from 6am until now, another 17 hour day. I think I'm just burning out and overwhelmed.

 

[Murk]

It sounds like the real question you should be asking yourself is "How do I deal with coming into money and not become an addict again".

I've never been an addict, just frequent drug and alcohol use and zero impulse control. I still maintained a normal functioning life and relationships

You surround yourself with better people than you have been

I cut bad people out 18 months ago and don't really socialise anymore

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I cut bad people out 18 months ago and don't really socialise anymore

That is probably going to stunt your growth.

 

[Murk]

That is probably going to stunt your growth.

I'm completely socially developed, I'm an extrovert. Isolation has helped me focus on my business which is all that matters to me right now, money. I couldn't have got this far with outside influences, people are **** anyway.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm completely socially developed, I'm an extrovert. Isolation has helped me focus on my business which is all that matters to me right now, money. I couldn't have got this far with outside influences, people are **** anyway.

Sure you could've. In fact you could probably be much further along if you surrounded yourself with like minded people who were able to give you relevant advice. Smart people learn from other's mistakes rather than their own.

 

[Murk]

Sure you could've. In fact you could probably be much further along if you surrounded yourself with like minded people who were able to give you relevant advice. Smart people learn from other's mistakes rather than their own.

Yes, but I grew up poor, with childhood abuse and mental health issues. How was I going to find and network with like-minded people or high flyers in my surroundings? 20 years ago I had a full scholarship to a private school based on some tests I took and aced, £20,000 a year school for free, no expenses, we had to move away because of mums abusive boyfriend so that chance was gone. I've literally come from the mud and only now in adulthood have I been able to build my own professional network, and truly understand what networking is.

It's easier said than done, we are not all born equal in opportunities. All my friends are either criminals, confused, or struggling. The stable friends are just settling and intrinsically unhappy anyway.

6 of us left from my team left the old firm, 3 of us set up our own firms. I've maintained that we speak regularly on the phone mon-fri and have weekly zoom calls on Friday to catch up on our week, celebrate wins, discuss difficulties and recap. Outside of this - I have nothing. My friends and family are ****. It's Saturday 11:45pm and I've spent the day working and secured another £10,000.

Who can I celebrate with? Who can I tell about my wins that won't be jealous or ask for handouts?

I feel trapped and unworthy of this money, only the memory of my mum is driving me. I've done 3 bouts of therapy, maybe some of us are too ****ed up mentally to ever be happy.

 

[Albatross953]

Who says you're unworthy of the money? You do? The universe says otherwise.
1. Get some help with the business now so you don't burn out.
2. Don't ever go near drugs again.
3. Ask yourself what you believe in. What do you want in five years. Do it in four.
4. Take one day a week off. I mean OFF.
5. Repay someone who was there for you during this terrible childhood. Uncle Tommy was there for you? Make sure he knows you haven't forgotten that. Just don't let family come out of the woodwork because they found out you have money.

Despite your demons you seem like a highly functional person with skills. You need discipline to measure your resources ie not burn out. And you need a direction ie a long term goal.

I hope you're successful.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I've been where your at since I was 18, I inherited a bunch of **** land but got a couple oil Derrick out of the deal, I don't do ****, I don't collect oil, I don't do maintenance, I don't do ****, the company that collects it pays me and that's that.

Life became a real drag in my early 20's, started playing the cheap game where I would make it a challenge to not spend money but get free sh1t from people, was a huge time sink.

Bartering has become a pretty neat thing in the last 20 years, check this out, will blow your mind https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_red_paperclip

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don't let money change who you are. A lot of people lose themselves and become very unhappy because they become a different person and not in a good way.

It's the reason why some say love of money is the root of all evil...it can ruin people because it gives them a lot more choices they can make and far too often when presented with all these choices they make the wrong ones, leading to unhappiness.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I quit my job June 2020 due to the utter disrespect and lack of care my previous bosses showed me during the pandemic. I've always struggled with bad bosses and I've been fired from 5 out of 7 jobs. I've been doing this for 9 years, know the market, the game, and well connected in my niche. I started my own firm, abided by the non-compete and didn't touch any of my clients until Jan 2021.

Fast forward to the present day, I've been ghost mode from friends and family working 16 hours a day including weekends. 30-60 minutes playing Call of Duty is a guilty pleasure/reward for me. I no longer have an interest in anything other than making my business work/grow. I wake up at 6:30am and work, work out for 45 mins a day, work, eat, sleep, repeat.

I've secured and delivered on 3 major projects over the last 3 months and made £106,000, net profit, in my business account of course, but set to make much much more Q2 and I don't even have a fraction of my clients on board yet. I plan to open an office and hire some employees while I focus on business development and eventually, hopefully, have some free time (at this point for what I don't know). I never understood the idea of a start-up taking over your life, that was until I cut all drugs/alcohol/women/sugar out of my life (February 2021).

Every fibre in my body is telling me to get some cocaine and alcohol tonight to celebrate alone (I can't tell friends and family about what I've earned and what my pipeline is or how bright the future looks).

I'm having visions of ridiculous spending, I'm struggling to stay grounded as I grew up dirt poor, just a boy with a dream, my parents both died and I'm an only child. I legit only have some friends and family I'm not close with.

How can I stay sane/grounded and live discreetly?

I welcome any and all advice - I'm not materialistic in the slightest, money meant nothing to me until now.

How do you deal with coming into money and not turning into a prick?

I will put this simple for you: Your money is growing at a faster than you are.

There is a reason why 99% of people that win the lottery end up homeless, in debt, and addicted to stuff.

Spend double the time you do with your business growing yourself as a person, as a human being, as a man.


Modern Man Advice

Modern Man Advice

 

[Exil]

It sounds to me like you need an education in terms of how to handle larger quantities of money. Most lottery winners return to being broke because they weren't ready for the money they received.

Do you read? I know you're pressed for time and absolutely need to maintain focus on business but reading is more important than working out (to me anyway).

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.co.uk

These are the two best books I have ever read on how to acquire and handle money.

There's no magic formula to not becoming a pr1ck once you have money. Power corrupts weak men. This is where having a strong frame is paramount to your success and maintaining your success. As long as you stay grounded and know that you could lose it all tomorrow, that will keep you relatively humble.

 

[Murk]

It sounds to me like you need an education in terms of how to handle larger quantities of money. Most lottery winners return to being broke because they weren't ready for the money they received.

Do you read? I know you're pressed for time and absolutely need to maintain focus on business but reading is more important than working out (to me anyway).

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.co.uk

These are the two best books I have ever read on how to acquire and handle money.

There's no magic formula to not becoming a pr1ck once you have money. Power corrupts weak men. This is where having a strong frame is paramount to your success and maintaining your success. As long as you stay grounded and know that you could lose it all tomorrow, that will keep you relatively humble.

Thanks for the resources!

I've given my friend and his wife some money (godfather to his kids)

I've paid for my grandads surgery in the U.S, and flew him over some canaries and sent money to the family

I bought a new car

The rest stays in my business to help scale it

I have realised using money to do productive things and good deeds will keep me grounded.

I haven't spent a penny on myself apart from the car so far.

Ultimately, the man you are will determine your actions.

 

[Murk]

Update

It keeps flowing in, and making me more depressed. I'm not built for this world, I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour.

Maybe my strong religious beliefs are forcing me to hoard this money for a conceived higher purpose.

I lay in bed all week reading the bible and received €23,000 into my account.

This is not a preachy post. I feel done with life, I'm not happy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Update

It keeps flowing in, and making me more depressed. I'm not built for this world, I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour.

Maybe my strong religious beliefs are forcing me to hoard this money for a conceived higher purpose.

I lay in bed all week reading the bible and received €23,000 into my account.

This is not a preachy post. I feel done with life, I'm not happy.

All money does is give you the opportunity to have extra decisions to make that you normally wouldn't have available.

Happiness comes from making the proper decisions.

Try something tonight and every night thereafter. This might sounds stupid but do it anyway.

Stand in front of a mirror and say what you are thankful for that happened that day before you go to bed.

Willing to bet you see a transformation in yourself within a month if you do this regularly.