You can't win if you don't play...

[SargeMaximus]

I remember the time when PUA was pretty big about a decade ago. The seminars, bootcamps, "gurus", mumbo-jumbo lexicon ("peacocking", "bio-feedback", "negs")...it was all such an obvious scam. I feel bad for the guys who have wasted their time and money pursuing that nonsense.

I didn’t waste money on boot camps or anything. Mostly the pua I’m referring to is things I’m hearing on this forum as well sadly

 

[AureliusMaximus]

@Lookatu

Good thread.

I believe in part that what we are seeing is the up coming group of men that got a trophy for participation (reward for being a loser) and also a generation of people who cant handle someone telling them "no".
It is easier for them to blame everyone else for their shortcomings than it is to put in work to better themselves. Dating included.
They expect something for nothing.
They are part of the "woke culture" that believes they can do whatever they want without consequence, complain enough and get their way or simply say they are "offended" and watch people give into them.

It doesnt happen in the real world. You are either a wolf or a sheep. One eats and one gets slaughtered and the choice is totally yours as to which you will be.

It all starts with EFFORT. Success doesnt come without failure and effort is the motor to success.

Einstein was asked how many times he failed at inventing the light bulb. He said he never failed, rather found several thousand ways that didnt work and found one way that did.

I have a process that works with interested women. It works for me but its not for everyone. It took a lot of trial and error for me to figure out what works for me and what doesnt, all based on results from things I have done and focusing on the results. We have several posters on this forum that have done the same thing and know what works for them.

None of us found out what works for us by sitting on our @ss and complaining how unfair the world is.

I can only agree with you.

The snowflake generation give up as soon as there is little resistance coming their way instead of pushing through.
Funny enough it is the resistance that grows us a humans to something better and stronger. It pretty much works the same way as at the gym.

It is the resistance (of lifting heavy sh'it, running etc), that makes it hard; but it is exactly that key element of the that is is hard which makes the body respond with building bigger muscles and rebuilding/repairing itself...

 

[Glassguy]

Einstein didn’t invent the light bulb Einstein

Oops. Edison.

Its been a long busy week at my business and I had just read a thing earlier on Einstein.

 

[Glassguy]

I can only agree with you.

The snowflake generation give up as soon as there is little resistance coming their way instead of pushing through.
Funny enough it is the resistance that grows us a humans to something better and stronger. It pretty much works the same way as at the gym.

It is the resistance (of lifting heavy sh'it, running etc), that makes it hard; but it is exactly that key element of the that is is hard which makes the body respond with building bigger muscles and rebuilding/repairing itself...

Solid post and great analogy.

 

[Robert28]

You get burnt out on women eventually and just need some “you time”. You get tired of competing with 50 other dudes who are more thirsty than you and are willing to simp, you get tired of putting up with the same **** tests, you get tired of thinking she’s into you and she completely changed within 24-48 hours and no reason or explanation or if she gives one it’s vague, you get tired of just talking to women, you get tired of having to put in so much effort for so little return. Like I said, it gets old after years and you find other things to do.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@Lookatu

Good thread.

I believe in part that what we are seeing is the up coming group of men that got a trophy for participation (reward for being a loser) and also a generation of people who cant handle someone telling them "no".
It is easier for them to blame everyone else for their shortcomings than it is to put in work to better themselves. Dating included.
They expect something for nothing.
They are part of the "woke culture" that believes they can do whatever they want without consequence, complain enough and get their way or simply say they are "offended" and watch people give into them.

It doesnt happen in the real world. You are either a wolf or a sheep. One eats and one gets slaughtered and the choice is totally yours as to which you will be.

It all starts with EFFORT. Success doesnt come without failure and effort is the motor to success.

Edison was asked how many times he failed at inventing the light bulb. He said he never failed, rather found several thousand ways that didnt work and found one way that did.

I have a process that works with interested women. It works for me but its not for everyone. It took a lot of trial and error for me to figure out what works for me and what doesnt, all based on results from things I have done and focusing on the results. We have several posters on this forum that have done the same thing and know what works for them.

None of us found out what works for us by sitting on our @ss and complaining how unfair the world is.

The problem is too many people ask themselves the wrong questions on a daily basis.

"Why would any woman want to date me?"
"Why would this hot girl want to get to know me, I am too fat/ugly/shy/much of a loser?"
"What if I get rejected and everyone laughs at me?"

Change the questions you ask yourself and you can change your life.

"How can I best give this woman an opportunity to find out what an amazing guy I am?"

"How can I successfully interact with this woman so we can continue it at a later time?"

"What will I need to change in my schedule to fit this woman in so she is able to get to know me better?"

When you assume negative outcomes your brain finds a way to follow your lead and gives you a negative outcome. When you assume positive outcomes your brain follows your lead and gives you a positive outcome.

But you can't do it once or twice and then get mad and say it didn't work. You have to do it consistently ALL THE TIME so you build a habit and then instead of assuming the negative you will start to assume the positive.

The results you get in any aspect of your life are nothing more than the external results of your internal beliefs about yourself, period.

 

[Lookatu]

When you assume negative outcomes your brain finds a way to follow your lead and gives you a negative outcome.

aka "Self Sabotage". It's becoming the norm on SS lately...

 

[SargeMaximus]

aka "Self Sabotage". It's becoming the norm on SS lately...

The norm is also to ignore reality.

I can say from my own experience, when I first got into pua (a forum not boot camps or RSD or anything) I had a very positive outlook on it.

it’s only after years of seeing it fail, and then succeeding with my own method, thatI got jaded towards this stuff.

what should I call advice I get from KJ jockeys like you if not pua?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

The problem is too many people ask themselves the wrong questions on a daily basis.

Don´t ask, act instead.

Action creates motion, motion turns into effect, which in turn creates results.

Sometimes it just best to turn off your brain. The cold hard truth is that your brain is your own worst enemy sometimes which have way different agenda that you do.

The brain´s absolute primary agenda is to identify dangers in the environment and make sure of it´s survival; even thought the danger is non existent and that is where your personal interest vs the brains interest collide.

It will start whispering to little nasty lies such as; "you cannot do that'', "you are not confident enough" or "you will be rejected" etc. etc. and all other some little nasty stories in your head to stop you from doing what you really want..

Ignoring your brain and just do is sometimes better.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The norm is also to ignore reality.

I can say from my own experience, when I first got into pua (a forum not boot camps or RSD or anything) I had a very positive outlook on it.

it’s only after years of seeing it fail, and then succeeding with my own method, thatI got jaded towards this stuff.

what should I call advice I get from KJ jockeys like you if not pua?

Your "reality" is nothing more than your preconditioned beliefs and behaviors that you put on replay in your mind. It's your brain's view of things that is designed to maintain the status quo in your life.

The truth is most of what you believe is "reality" isn't reality at all. It's simply what you believe it to be.

YOU control your own reality and as such, you can decide to make a new reality for yourself. Most people don't because they allow all those self limiting beliefs to win and resist change because it is easier and doing something would be too hard.

You can either have a reason or a result, you can never have both.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don´t ask, act instead.

Action creates motion, motion turns into effect, which in turn creates results.

Sometimes it just best to turn off your brain. The cold hard truth is that your brain is your own worst enemy sometimes which have way different agenda that you do.

The brain´s absolute primary agenda is to identify dangers in the environment and make sure of it´s survival; even thought the danger is non existent and that is where your personal interest vs the brains interest collide.

It will start whispering to little nasty lies such as; "you cannot do that'', "you are not confident enough" or "you will be rejected" etc. etc. and all other some little nasty stories in your head to stop you from doing what you really want..

Ignoring your brain and just do is sometimes better.

Without thinking there can be no action. Every action stems from a thought which stems from a question you ask yourself at some point prior to that thought.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Your "reality" is nothing more than your preconditioned beliefs and behaviors that you put on replay in your mind. It's your brain's view of things that is designed to maintain the status quo in your life.

The truth is most of what you believe is "reality" isn't reality at all. It's simply what you believe to to be.

YOU control your own reality and as such, you can decide to make a new reality for yourself. Most people don't because they allow all those self limiting beliefs to win and resist change because it is easier and doing something would be too hard.

You can either have a reason or a result, you can never have both.

I read all of Tony Robbins books so you’re not gonna surprise me with these kinds of replies.

what part of “I tried these suggestions for years and they didn’t work for me” are you not getting?

 

[Realthangpoon]

Don´t ask, act instead.

Action creates motion, motion turns into effect, which in turn creates results.

Sometimes it just best to turn off your brain. The cold hard truth is that your brain is your own worst enemy sometimes which have way different agenda that you do.

The brain´s absolute primary agenda is to identify dangers in the environment and make sure of it´s survival; even thought the danger is non existent and that is where your personal interest vs the brains interest collide.

It will start whispering to little nasty lies such as; "you cannot do that'', "you are not confident enough" or "you will be rejected" etc. etc. and all other some little nasty stories in your head to stop you from doing what you really want..

Ignoring your brain and just do is sometimes better.

good post. That’s also how I get over anxiety when it’s there: “it’s there but it’s just my brain, it’s harmless”. And then I relax, act regardless and it’s all good.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Your "reality" is nothing more than your preconditioned beliefs and behaviors that you put on replay in your mind. It's your brain's view of things that is designed to maintain the status quo in your life.

The truth is most of what you believe is "reality" isn't reality at all. It's simply what you believe to to be.

YOU control your own reality and as such, you can decide to make a new reality for yourself. Most people don't because they allow all those self limiting beliefs to win and resist change because it is easier and doing something would be too hard.

You can either have a reason or a result, you can never have both.

Yeah. just because you perceive the world a certain way and the way you perceive yourself it doesn´t necessary mean that your version is true.

 

[Alvafe]

The problem is too many people ask themselves the wrong questions on a daily basis.

"Why would any woman want to date me?"
"Why would this hot girl want to get to know me, I am too fat/ugly/shy/much of a loser?"
"What if I get rejected and everyone laughs at me?"

Change the questions you ask yourself and you can change your life.

"How can I best give this woman an opportunity to find out what an amazing guy I am?"

"How can I successfully interact with this woman so we can continue it at a later time?"

"What will I need to change in my schedule to fit this woman in so she is able to get to know me better?"

When you assume negative outcomes your brain finds a way to follow your lead and gives you a negative outcome. When you assume positive outcomes your brain follows your lead and gives you a positive outcome.

But you can't do it once or twice and then get mad and say it didn't work. You have to do it consistently ALL THE TIME so you build a habit and then instead of assuming the negative you will start to assume the positive.

The results you get in any aspect of your life are nothing more than the external results of your internal beliefs about yourself, period.

meh I consider these also wrong questions, the main issue still there, you are wondering "what I should do for woman?", when the real question is "what I should do to improve my life?"

also don't be too bad for pua, remember it did work sometimes for guys, when it was new, problem is it become saturated and most people already know the script, hence why you should adapt and see what work for you

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I read all of Tony Robbins books so you’re not gonna surprise me with these kinds of replies.

what part of “I tried these suggestions for years and they didn’t work for me” are you not getting?

I am not saying you should keep trying something that doesn't work, you need to keep trying different methods and finding out what does work. But it you are claiming that you can only date a girl who is a 5, because of X, Y or Z then this is nothing more than another self limiting belief.

All it means it that what you currently do is good enough to get a 5 but not anything better than that. You need to keep working and finding other methods to go higher than that.

It would be like a guy who just started working out being happy because they finally got up to benching a plate for 10 reps after a few months and then said they can't go any higher than that because their current training methods won't let them past that.

Then the answer is to change your methods if you want better results. You can get them, but maybe not by the methods you currently use.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

meh I consider these also wrong questions, the main issue still there, you are wondering "what I should do for woman?", when the real question is "what I should do to improve my life?"

also don't be too bad for pua, remember it did work sometimes for guys, when it was new, problem is it become saturated and most people already know the script, hence why you should adapt and see what work for you

You will always ask yourself those type of questions in the moment. I am not talking about long term questions, but the ones that go through your head when you see a woman you want to approach.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I am not saying you should keep trying something that doesn't work, you need to keep trying different methods and finding out what does work. But it you are claiming that you can only date a girl who is a 5, because of X, Y or Z then this is nothing more than another self limiting belief.

All it means it that what you currently do is good enough to get a 5 but not anything better than that. You need to keep working and finding other methods to go higher than that.

It would be like a guy who just started working out being happy because they finally got up to benching a plate for 10 reps after a few months and then said they can't go any higher than that because their current training methods won't let them past that.

Then the answer is to change your methods if you want better results. You can get them, but maybe not by the methods you currently use.

I agree with this completely. What a breath of fresh air!

mmm issue I’m having with some members in this forum is they are telling me to keep doing what I have proven doesn’t work For me after a few months or years of trying to adapt to it.

the whole reason I am here is just what you’re saying: to try NEW hints and keep trying to improve my game through methods that I prove to work.

 

[Lookatu]

it’s only after years of seeing it fail, and then succeeding with my own method, thatI got jaded towards this stuff.

Hmmm. So you failed one way but then succeeded on your own method? So if you "succeeded", why not share those methods with the forum for those that also couldn't make it work the other ways?

And just to clarify, there is no one right method. We are all here to exchange ideas and cherry pick from those that would work for us. Where it get's ugly is when one member starts bashing another's method and thinking there is only one right way. It then become destructive criticism which doesn't help anything.

Although, you may not have found anything I've said useful, there may have been others that can take away some value from it. You could've just said thanks but I've tried that and that didn't work for me. Simply leave it at that. Next time someone tries to help, think first and foremost of the intent instead of the value.

None of us know your personality/mindset/life on an intimate basis and we can only go off the limited content written and assumptions. But the intent is to help you become a better person.

what should I call advice I get from KJ jockeys like you if not pua?

I think you're getting the term PUA mixed up with self improvement. Some may view it one in the same while others don't. If I give off a PUA vibe, it is certainly not my intent.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Hmmm. So you failed one way but then succeeded on your own method? So if you "succeeded", why not share those methods with the forum for those that also couldn't make it work the other ways?

And just to clarify, there is no one right method. We are all here to exchange ideas and cherry pick from those that would work for us. Where it get's ugly is when one member starts bashing another's method and thinking there is only one right way. It then become destructive criticism which doesn't help anything.

Although, you may not have found anything I've said useful, there may have been others that can take away some value from it. You could've just said thanks but I've tried that and that didn't work for me. Simply leave it at that. Next time someone tries to help, think first and foremost of the intent instead of the value.

None of us know your personality/mindset/life on an intimate basis and we can only go off the limited content written and assumptions. But the intent is to help you become a better person.


I think you're getting the term PUA mixed up with self improvement. Some may view it one in the same while others don't. If I give off a PUA vibe, it is certainly not my intent.

I just get frustrated when I hear the same old advice I’ve heard for years. If I lashed out disproportionately I apologize. I still think if you’re giving advice to an individual, you should work with where they are at and that starts by understanding them. Otherwise advice is just rehashed and useless like the age old “just be confident”. To truly help someone, you gotta get personal and specific.

But yes, I try to help others by sharing my “method” if asked or in various other threads I share my view. But not being satisfied with my success keeps me looking outward rather than wanting to become a guru. I have become a guy who can have sex reliably with 5-6.5’s after being an incel for years. That was a huge accomplishment. But I’m after the dimes, so I can’t see myself as one who should lecture too much.

but it is true I made a huge breakthrough in my game. Lost my virginity and became a regular “player” to some extent.

I’d call myself intermediary.