FR: 2nd date. Night cap at my place. No s**

[RickPound]

TL;DR 2nd date. Drinks, dinner, night cap back at my place. Make out but nothing more. Hard to sexualize the conversation. Fairly intense/driven female professional that talked a lot about work and herself. Texted when she got home, then again in the morning to hang out again that day.


Had a 2nd date last night with a girl I met a couple weeks ago off Hinge. 31 yr old tall blond, attractive, former college athlete who runs her own business in town.

First date was mid morning coffee a few days after chatting online. Her idea. Went well, just conversation for about an hour. She was going out of town for a week after that and texted saying "Nice to meet you today. I'm off to **** for a week, but I'll let you know when I get back. Then no contact until she indeed reached out after she got back in town. Exchanged a few texts like How are you? What's new? Etc and then left it at that for a few days. Reached out yesterday morning and asked her out for that night.

Me: Any big plans this weekend? We should meet up for a drink.
Her: Hi! Yeah - let's get together! I don't have any plans that are really set in stone for the weekend. A drink tonight sounds great.
Me: Great, I'll get us a spot and let you know where and what time

I made the reservation, showed up at the time, and she was already seated. Found it funny that she must have told the host she was there for my reservation and sat down before I got there. Anyway...

Ordered drinks, then she asked if I had already eaten. We decided to get a few apps and a couple more drinks. Was there for a while. Lots of talk about her job and pretty serious topics. I had to constantly change the subject to more playful and fun things. Very intelligent conversation type.

Bill came, she offered to split and I agreed. Her car was on the way to mine and we stopped and chatted a little more at her car. I cut the conversation short and said "hey, you want a night cap? Let's go back to my place". She followed me there, I made a ****tail I was telling her about earlier and then I put some music on and played a game where we go back and forth picking songs that we think the other person would like but have never heard/talking music tastes etc.

Moved to the couch, started kino, a little push pull. Honestly it was hard to sexualize/escalate with her as she liked to talk and talk about more serious stuff like life and being a female professional etc. Finally did all I could to lighten the conversation, be a little ****y/funny, then go for the kiss to get something to give. Made out off and on a few times but could tell it wasn't going anywhere else. She was a little awkward then finally she said it was getting late and she needed to get home. This was at 1:30am.

She texted when she got home "Made it home safely. Thank you for a lovely evening. Good night!"

Then again just now "Thinking of going for a hike this afternoon. Would you want to go with me?"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well I think it is fairly obvious she is definitely into you.

 

[RickPound]

You’re probably right @Hank Moody should’ve ended it first and I could’ve gotten to bed a little earlier.

And yeah, I’m not going hiking with her today. Not even to not seem too eager, but because I don’t want to and she didn’t get my d*ck hard last night. I’ll reply later as to why I couldn’t take her up on the hike invite and then see if she reaches out during the week.

 

[RickPound]

Really? I feel like she'd be able to get that done. You know why I'm saying that.

She’s very attractive yes. Just her personality and energy lacked sexuality - I let her do a lot of the talking and most of the conversation was very “mature”. It was a battle all night to try and lighten things up and get her, and myself, in the mood so to speak.

 

[RickPound]

Told her I made plans to do something else with friends this afternoon but that “we should do something fun soon”.

She replied “I agree”.

Anyway, I can see the trap of becoming an “activity buddy” and will tread lightly there. I don’t want to sabotage a potential good thing either, so I will play along but stay focused on opportunities to make her p*ssy wet - not being her hiking pal.

Unless I find out hiking makes her horny lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Told her I made plans to do something else with friends this afternoon but that “we should do something fun soon”.

She replied “I agree”.

Anyway, I can see the trap of becoming an “activity buddy” and will tread lightly there. I don’t want to sabotage a potential good thing either, so I will play along but stay focused on opportunities to make her p*ssy wet - not being her hiking pal.

Unless I find out hiking makes her horny lol

I go hiking a lot and often have women join me. And I fvck almost all of them that do. You guys need to stop having these closed off mindsets...being active and doing things is fun...and if you can't make hiking fun then you are simply just not fun...

I mean tease her about walking behind her so you can check out her ass. Tease her that you are going to keep an eye on her because you know she will be trying to pull you off trail behind a tree to make out with you. Grab her hand and pull her through tight spots...put your hand on her back and let it slide down to move her to another area of the trail...

There are literally endless ways of flirting, teasing and having fun while hiking...I think some of you need to get your imaginations in gear because they seem to be lacking.

And what women hasn't had a fantasy of being banged in the woods?

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP you are headed to the friend zone. There are too many mistakes here:

- not making concrete plans directly (too weak)
- not enough time between dates
- too much intermittent texting

Thid girl likes you but your game is too lose. Counteroffer her hike idea for a different day of the week, at least 3 days out. After she agrees, go no contact unless she contacts you. Hopefully you didn’t blow this already.

 

[Dash Riprock]

She’s very attractive yes. Just her personality and energy lacked sexuality - I let her do a lot of the talking and most of the conversation was very “mature”. It was a battle all night to try and lighten things up and get her, and myself, in the mood so to speak.

I've dated women like this before. I call them "drips." No fun. I try to inject some funny stories, humor, teasing, etc., and if they can't lighten up, I usually eject. Some women are just really guarded and almost too pragmatic on a date. Total turnoff for me. If she's pursuant, and hot, maybe I'll give her one more date as some can be really nervous on a first date. Some women out there need to practice IDGAF too and just have a good time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You simply enjoy the company of the average woman more than we do. I would rather hang out with my guy friends than go on a hiking date, especially since a high interest woman will have no problem rescheduling to something more tolerable for me.

Maybe you just aren't fun.

 

[RickPound]

OP you are headed to the friend zone. There are too many mistakes here:

- not making concrete plans directly (too weak)
- not enough time between dates
- too much intermittent texting

Thid girl likes you but your game is too lose. Counteroffer her hike idea for a different day of the week, at least 3 days out. After she agrees, go no contact unless she contacts you. Hopefully you didn’t blow this already.

There was 2.5 weeks between first date and second. No contact in between until she reached out again. I followed up a few days after that with a direct invite and time and place. She's initiated a few chit chat texts but I give short replies and then end the convo after 3 or 4 exchanges. I didn't give a direct counter offer to her hike idea because I didn't want to lol.

We'll see if she keeps trying to chat the next couple days, but when I feel like it I'll initiate with a direct invite for the next date. I just don't know when and what I want to do with her yet.

Because this...

I've dated women like this before. I call them "drips." No fun. I try to inject some funny stories, humor, teasing, etc., and if they can't lighten up, I usually eject. Some women are just really guarded and almost too pragmatic on a date. Total turnoff for me. If she's pursuant, and hot, maybe I'll give her one more date as some can be really nervous on a first date. Some women out there need to practice IDGAF too and just have a good time.

 

[JonnySays]

There was 2.5 weeks between first date and second. No contact in between until she reached out again. I followed up a few days after that with a direct invite and time and place. She's initiated a few chit chat texts but I give short replies and then end the convo after 3 or 4 exchanges. I didn't give a direct counter offer to her hike idea because I didn't want to lol.

We'll see if she keeps trying to chat the next couple days, but when I feel like it I'll initiate with a direct invite for the next date. I just don't know when and what I want to do with her yet.

Because this...

Does she have an iPhone?

 

[RickPound]

Does she have an iPhone?

Ok, I’ll bite...Yes, why?

 

[JonnySays]

Play some games with her on it (Cup pong ) and make some bets or better yet invite her and play Beer Pong at your place then make some bets --- things to lead her to undress or reveal more of her body.

I usually say "all alright miss 20 houses (or any type of tease) let's see how good you are in a cup pong and then after she makes 1 or two balls in the cup, I send her a voice note saying, let's make a bet. Once she asks what bet? Then that's clue- she's game. If she doesn't like drinking then there always a pool hall or bowling game to bet on. Girls love to bet, and they love losing.

I only tell you this because I dated chicks like her. The career-oriented businesswomen who bored you death with their job stuff. Deep down they just want to have fun and be lead, making decisions all day is stressful. They tell me this after they get more comfortable.

However, if this fails then just let her go. You don't want some boring chick who can't even play a fun game.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well you think hikes with random OLD women are fun bc you do such a good job of entertaining them, so that kind of is a self-own.

Yeah I entertain them so much I fvck the majority of them.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ego invested much? Its not worth it.

Not sure how having fun is something you are against...you must be a joy to hang out with. I guess enjoy your interviews and boring them to death then. I'll focus on having fun and doing what works for me.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

TL;DR 2nd date. Drinks, dinner, night cap back at my place. Make out but nothing more. Hard to sexualize the conversation. Fairly intense/driven female professional that talked a lot about work and herself. Texted when she got home, then again in the morning to hang out again that day.


Had a 2nd date last night with a girl I met a couple weeks ago off Hinge. 31 yr old tall blond, attractive, former college athlete who runs her own business in town.

First date was mid morning coffee a few days after chatting online. Her idea. Went well, just conversation for about an hour. She was going out of town for a week after that and texted saying "Nice to meet you today. I'm off to **** for a week, but I'll let you know when I get back. Then no contact until she indeed reached out after she got back in town. Exchanged a few texts like How are you? What's new? Etc and then left it at that for a few days. Reached out yesterday morning and asked her out for that night.

Me: Any big plans this weekend? We should meet up for a drink.
Her: Hi! Yeah - let's get together! I don't have any plans that are really set in stone for the weekend. A drink tonight sounds great.
Me: Great, I'll get us a spot and let you know where and what time

I made the reservation, showed up at the time, and she was already seated. Found it funny that she must have told the host she was there for my reservation and sat down before I got there. Anyway...

Ordered drinks, then she asked if I had already eaten. We decided to get a few apps and a couple more drinks. Was there for a while. Lots of talk about her job and pretty serious topics. I had to constantly change the subject to more playful and fun things. Very intelligent conversation type.

Bill came, she offered to split and I agreed. Her car was on the way to mine and we stopped and chatted a little more at her car. I cut the conversation short and said "hey, you want a night cap? Let's go back to my place". She followed me there, I made a ****tail I was telling her about earlier and then I put some music on and played a game where we go back and forth picking songs that we think the other person would like but have never heard/talking music tastes etc.

Moved to the couch, started kino, a little push pull. Honestly it was hard to sexualize/escalate with her as she liked to talk and talk about more serious stuff like life and being a female professional etc. Finally did all I could to lighten the conversation, be a little ****y/funny, then go for the kiss to get something to give. Made out off and on a few times but could tell it wasn't going anywhere else. She was a little awkward then finally she said it was getting late and she needed to get home. This was at 1:30am.

She texted when she got home "Made it home safely. Thank you for a lovely evening. Good night!"

Then again just now "Thinking of going for a hike this afternoon. Would you want to go with me?"

Next time, give her a back massage. Just make sure it's a smooth transition and not unsolicited. Then make sure you get some chill music, ask her to close her eyes, and play with her imagination a bit.

Remember, women don't get turned on visually as men do.

One thing that always works for me is once the physical barrier is broken and we are super close, kissing her neck down to her shoulder and collar bone. If she doesn't get turned on, she is either not into you completely or asexual. Just make sure you spend your time turning her on, don't rush into it. With most women, it is a gradual/exponential push and pull interaction.

Modern Man Advice

 

[2Rocky]

your Kino only started once you were on the couch....Kino needs to start at the restaurant/ bar to 1) up the sexual tension 2) give her the sexual Vibe 3) set the tone for once you are at your place.

She was already seated when you got there, I'd have set next to her or kitty corner to make body contact from the get go.
Get her amped up enough so that you give her a kiss at the car before you head to your place. Break off the kiss and tell her "follow me"
Bring her in your place, kiss her at the door....Then go make the night cap. (Push Pull)
Have her feet and legs on your lap while you are having your drink, touching and rubbing. By now you both are comfortable with each others touch, and she should be getting turned on. If you do it right she will be in your lap purring like a kitten.

 

[Lookatu]

your Kino only started once you were on the couch....Kino needs to start at the restaurant/ bar to 1) up the sexual tension 2) give her the sexual Vibe 3) set the tone for once you are at your place.

She was already seated when you got there, I'd have set next to her or kitty corner to make body contact from the get go.

Agree.

Normally if I can't sit next to a girl for whatever reason, I do the palm reading game to further break the ice and do kino.

I ask her to see her hands and if she asks me why, I tell her I'm going to read her palms. That's when you can glide your thumb or finger(s) over parts of her hand sensually while looking into her eyes to gauge her responses and take it from there. This has worked great for me whenever I had to sit across the table from them.

 

[RickPound]

With no initiation from me she messaged this afternoon and said she was free tomorrow and asked if I wanted to get together.

Told her I was working but was free in the evening. She then followed with two suggestions for happy hour.

My reply: “Wow, you didn’t even give me the chance to ask you out again first.”

She said: “My bad haha, too forward?” with the monkey palming face emoji.

Me: “Haha you’re good. I’ll text you tomorrow when I know what time I’ll be done with work.”

I was really hoping to keep it to once a week with her to start but it’s only been 2 days since our date last Saturday night and one since she invited me to hike yesterday and I turned it down.

Don’t know if I want to see her so soon but guess I gotta strike while the iron is hot. Seems clear not sealing the deal Saturday night didn’t turn her off.

 

[EyeBRollin]

With no initiation from me she messaged this afternoon and said she was free tomorrow and asked if I wanted to get together.

Told her I was working but was free in the evening. She then followed with two suggestions for happy hour.

My reply: “Wow, you didn’t even give me the chance to ask you out again first.”

She said: “My bad haha, too forward?” with the monkey palming face emoji.

Me: “Haha you’re good. I’ll text you tomorrow when I know what time I’ll be done with work.”

I was really hoping to keep it to once a week with her to start but it’s only been 2 days since our date last Saturday night and one since she invited me to hike yesterday and I turned it down.

Don’t know if I want to see her so soon but guess I gotta strike while the iron is hot. Seems clear not sealing the deal Saturday night didn’t turn her off.

I don’t think seeing a girl more than twice a week before you live with her is appropriate, so hold the frequency at that. I also don’t suggest accepting dates within 48 hours, so the best play here would be to counteroffer her for a day later in the week. You are sounding too available here so her pvssy will dry up soon, likely within the next week or two.

You are also making a mistake here by not tying the date down when she gave two specific happy hour suggestions. Why are you blowing her off until tomorrow just to lock in a date? That’s indecisive and weak. Clean up these bad habits, mate.