You don't "like" someone after only one or two dates...

[SW15]

It seems so strange/backwards, to me personally (I am a woman. I understand it can be/ is different for men.) that modern society has shifted common expectations/standards for those seeking a relationship, to having sex quickly to start, before people actually get to know one another really. That’s just me.

I also get that men have an exponentially higher drive for sex and are biologically driven to spread their seed. No judgement on that.

I am just not sure what the best set up for all would truly look like. I am sure curious. Any thoughts?

Due to attention spans getting shorter and wanting to prevent flaking, men need to have sex faster than in previous times. The sex is intended as an anti-flaking mechanism. Women have hundreds of text messages from men. The woman is more likely to respond to the text message or phone call of a man that provided her with high quality sex. However, it is difficult to have high quality sex at 10 PM on a Wednesday night after multiple drinks at a bar, a long work day, and a demanding day the next day. It's part of why post-college dating can feel like a real drag because there's less time to focus on dating. If I mess up in college classes, the consequences are less severe than if I mess up at my job.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Due to attention spans getting shorter and wanting to prevent flaking, men need to have sex faster than in previous times. The sex is intended as an anti-flaking mechanism. Women have hundreds of text messages from men. The woman is more likely to respond to the text message or phone call of a man that provided her with high quality sex. However, it is difficult to have high quality sex at 10 PM on a Wednesday night after multiple drinks at a bar, a long work day, and a demanding day the next day. It's part of why post-college dating can feel like a real drag because there's less time to focus on dating. If I mess up in college classes, the consequences are less severe than if I mess up at my job.

Story of my life

 

[Georgepithyou]

Guys need to rewire their thinking and thought process on this and it will help them navigate this better next time.

100% on the money here, it doesn't take much for me to like a woman. If she is attractive and a little nice i already fall for her. I need to bet them better

 

[SW15]

Due to attention spans getting shorter and wanting to prevent flaking, men need to have sex faster than in previous times. The sex is intended as an anti-flaking mechanism. Women have hundreds of text messages from men. The woman is more likely to respond to the text message or phone call of a man that provided her with high quality sex. However, it is difficult to have high quality sex at 10 PM on a Wednesday night after multiple drinks at a bar, a long work day, and a demanding day the next day. It's part of why post-college dating can feel like a real drag because there's less time to focus on dating. If I mess up in college classes, the consequences are less severe than if I mess up at my job.

Story of my life

One of the things that I've noticed in dating post 2010 as compared to 2003-2006 is that the threshold of what it takes to land a 2nd or 3rd date with a woman has massively increased since the mid-2000s. This started as website dating got more popular in the late 2000s/early 2010s but really exploded after 2012-13 when Tinder got big. In the late 2000s, women were get their inboxes flooded with messages, often from guys they found undesirable. Tinder was invented to prevent this sort of thing as women would only get message from men that they had right swiped on. Women's swipe queues now astronomical and their message volumes are high. Additionally, since the late 2000s, men have been trying to slide into DMs, first on Facebook in the late 2000s when Facebook was cool, and since the early to mid 2010s on Instagram. Twitter, LinkedIn, and Clubhouse are other common digital places where women can receive digital approaches.

Compare this to 2005 when many fewer women were on OkCupid and Match. The majority of women in 2005 only had the options of the men who were approaching them in real life, which was far fewer than her digital approaches, though some 21-25 year olds in 2005 got a solid number of in-person approaches if they were active in nightlife in a big city. A woman would be more patient with her options. Now, a woman needs to feel all the butterflies to even have a 2nd date, which is a much higher threshold. It would be possible to literally go on the same date in 2003-06 as compared to 2015-present, and you'd get a 2nd date from a woman in 2003-06 and in 2015-present, you would be ghosted. Women feel more entitled and have much higher quality standards now due to having way more options, even having more options than the most active woman in nightlife in 2005.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

One of the things that I've noticed in dating post 2010 as compared to 2003-2006 is that the threshold of what it takes to land a 2nd or 3rd date with a woman has massively increased since the mid-2000s. This started as website dating got more popular in the late 2000s/early 2010s but really exploded after 2012-13 when Tinder got big. In the late 2000s, women were get their inboxes flooded with messages, often from guys they found undesirable. Tinder was invented to prevent this sort of thing as women would only get message from men that they had right swiped on. Women's swipe queues now astronomical and their message volumes are high. Additionally, since the late 2000s, men have been trying to slide into DMs, first on Facebook in the late 2000s when Facebook was cool, and since the early to mid 2010s on Instagram. Twitter, LinkedIn, and Clubhouse are other common digital places where women can receive digital approaches.

Compare this to 2005 when many fewer women were on OkCupid and Match. The majority of women in 2005 only had the options of the men who were approaching them in real life, which was far fewer than her digital approaches, though some 21-25 year olds in 2005 got a solid number of in-person approaches if they were active in nightlife in a big city. A woman would be more patient with her options. Now, a woman needs to feel all the butterflies to even have a 2nd date, which is a much higher threshold. It would be possible to literally go on the same date in 2003-06 as compared to 2015-present, and you'd get a 2nd date from a woman in 2003-06 and in 2015-present, you would be ghosted. Women feel more entitled and have much higher quality standards now due to having way more options, even having more options than the most active woman in nightlife in 2005.

More women are just opting for the 4th quarter Hail Mary strategy then attempting to find a suitable partner at their prime age. There’s obviously other factors influencing them but dating apps are a large part. A woman will go on bumble and only date guys that are anomalies that end up being frauds or playing her because they are clearly the top 1% of men and she’s just a washed up 25 year old. In addition, she will go on a date with a normal guy but dismiss him because there wasn’t a spark on the first date. This gives her two legit excuses to remain single til her 30s and later attempt the Hail Mary.

TBH, I started doing pre date screens to filter out the time wasters and it has worked so far.

 

[SW15]

More women are just opting for the 4th quarter Hail Mary strategy then attempting to find a suitable partner at their prime age. There’s obviously other factors influencing them but dating apps are a large part. A woman will go on bumble and only date guys that are anomalies that end up being frauds or playing her because they are clearly the top 1% of men and she’s just a washed up 25 year old. In addition, she will go on a date with a normal guy but dismiss him because there wasn’t a spark on the first date. This gives her two legit excuses to remain single til her 30s and later attempt the Hail Mary.

TBH, I started doing pre date screens to filter out the time wasters and it has worked so far.

A 25 year old is not washed up. You can make the case for a 30 year old to be washed up, but I'd take it to 32-33. A single 32-33 year old is a carousel rider.

Look at the swipe queues of any 32-35 year old woman in a big city. They have more options than a fit, 19 year college co-ed did in 1985.

Most 25-35 year old women in big cities are going on dates with normal to even slightly above average men in big cities and dismissing them for "no spark" and "not feeling all the butterflies". In 2005, that same woman from a previous generation would have seen it through a little bit longer.

I exited the swipe app channel and focused on daygame.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

A 25 year old is not washed up. You can make the case for a 30 year old to be washed up, but I'd take it to 32-33. A single 32-33 year old is a carousel rider.

Look at the swipe queues of any 32-35 year old woman in a big city. They have more options than a fit, 19 year college co-ed did in 1985.

Most 25-35 year old women in big cities are going on dates with normal to even slightly above average men in big cities and dismissing them for "no spark" and "not feeling all the butterflies". In 2005, that same woman from a previous generation would have seen it through a little bit longer.

I exited the swipe app channel and focused on daygame.

Yeah, but a 25 year old woman is considered washed up to the top 1% of men in the SMV chart. If you were a rich high status male, would you be going for some 25 year nurse/grad school woman that's never going to submit and compete with your time or some 18 year old hot Instagram model that will submit if you just take her out to fancy places to post clout on Instagram? Here's what they do. They will hold out for some rich Giga Chad/Tyrone to hit them up on a slow Tuesday and they will eventually get dumped because this guy has a plethora of options. Then these same women will go on youtube, reddit, tik tok, and complain about how all men are cheaters, players, and etc after getting destroyed by this Giga chad. Then they will go and give a normal guy a chance and dismiss him because there wasn't a first date spark/Rinse and repeat this strategy until they are post wall.

 

[SW15]

Yeah, but a 25 year old woman is considered washed up to the top 1% of men in the SMV chart. If you were a rich high status male, would you be going for some 25 year nurse/grad school woman that's never going to submit and compete with your time or some 18 year old hot Instagram model that will submit if you just take her out to fancy places to post clout on Instagram? Here's what they do. They will hold out for some rich Giga Chad/Tyrone to hit them up on a slow Tuesday and they will eventually get dumped because this guy has a plethora of options. Then these same women will go on youtube, reddit, tik tok, and complain about how all men are cheaters, players, and etc after getting destroyed by this Giga chad. Then they will go and give a normal guy a chance and dismiss him because there wasn't a first date spark/Rinse and repeat this strategy until they are post wall.

This is mostly accurate. Even when they are 32-35, their swipe queues and social media DMs will be flooded.

 

[Lookatu]

One of the things that I've noticed in dating post 2010 as compared to 2003-2006 is that the threshold of what it takes to land a 2nd or 3rd date with a woman has massively increased since the mid-2000s. This started as website dating got more popular in the late 2000s/early 2010s but really exploded after 2012-13 when Tinder got big. In the late 2000s, women were get their inboxes flooded with messages, often from guys they found undesirable. Tinder was invented to prevent this sort of thing as women would only get message from men that they had right swiped on. Women's swipe queues now astronomical and their message volumes are high. Additionally, since the late 2000s, men have been trying to slide into DMs, first on Facebook in the late 2000s when Facebook was cool, and since the early to mid 2010s on Instagram. Twitter, LinkedIn, and Clubhouse are other common digital places where women can receive digital approaches.

Compare this to 2005 when many fewer women were on OkCupid and Match. The majority of women in 2005 only had the options of the men who were approaching them in real life, which was far fewer than her digital approaches, though some 21-25 year olds in 2005 got a solid number of in-person approaches if they were active in nightlife in a big city. A woman would be more patient with her options. Now, a woman needs to feel all the butterflies to even have a 2nd date, which is a much higher threshold. It would be possible to literally go on the same date in 2003-06 as compared to 2015-present, and you'd get a 2nd date from a woman in 2003-06 and in 2015-present, you would be ghosted. Women feel more entitled and have much higher quality standards now due to having way more options, even having more options than the most active woman in nightlife in 2005.

We can always count on you @SW15 to give an analytical commentary.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I'm going to preface this by saying I used to be like this until a couple years ago, so I've been guilty of this as well.

There are so many guys that either get butt hurt for not getting a second date or fall head over heals with deep emotional investment in a girl after only one or two dates.

Guys need to rewire their thinking and thought process on this and it will help them navigate this better next time.

Why does this happen? Majority of guys these days wanna see what they wanna see in girls. They have these fantasies on how they think the girl is based on initial perception. This doesn't mean that's how she really is and rather than spending the time to get to know them and validating the assumptions, they automatically go into dreaming with blinders on. As males, we often default to think in ideals rather than in realism.

Where as females generally are more pragmatic and take their time to actually get to know someone before putting any emotional investment in them. This is the reason why they are better at the initial dating phase than guys IMO.

Coupled to that, with them coming from an abundance mindset vs a lot of guys that live with a scarcity mindset, you can see how this can further have you "liking" someone too prematurely(and/or putting them up on a pedestal).

Guys, you don't truly know a girl other than the fact of how she looks and what's in between her legs after only a date or two. Do not be delusional and do not try to artificially place any emotional investment into someone until you actually get to know them over time which involves their actions(or lack of) and passing YOUR sh1t tests, and qualifying themselves to YOU.

In other words, don't get pvssy whipped, whip that pvssy.

Control what's in your control(being a gentleman, keeping your feelings in check. being realistic, etc), and do not worry about the things you can't control.

Solid post. Especially the part about most men dating for sex and getting p***y whipped, and being in control of yourself.

In conclusion: Nice guys ALWAYS finish last - https://www.modernmanadvice.com/why-nice-guys-always-finish-last/

Modern Man Advice