I was in a 9 yr. LTR that ended 5 years ago. About 4-5 years into the LTR, I actually considered (gulp!) getting married. Everything was pretty cool with her to that point, she checked a lot of boxes. She wanted kids, I was lukewarm but somewhat open to it. We were already living together. I started looking at and pricing rings. Then I made an appointment with an attorney in town. I asked about what would happen if we got married and then divorced. I quickly learned in the one hour meeting I would be WAY on the losing end, even with a prenup which he said the judge could use as a "guide" but is in no way bound by its contents. The attorney was very candid and said that my state is very liberal in divorces and the city I live in is the most liberal in the state (in a non-political way) so basically the courts will heavily side with the woman, no matter what.
My thoughts of marriage ended right there.
We were together for a few more years and the relationship started to get very apathetic; separate bedrooms, very little sex, separate work schedules, separate lives. We turned into roommates. Finally, we agreed to part ways. Towards the end, I think she was seeing some guy from her dance class on the side, but I honestly didn't even care, which in itself was a bad sign. Basically we both checked out. She moved out about two weeks after our break-up talk. It was honestly like an 800# lowland gorilla (not a monkey) was off my back. No more tension, passive-aggressive, roommate BS. My blood pressure dropped to 60/40, or so it seemed.
Because were weren't married, I lost nothing. As a matter of fact, I still have her expensive cookware which I use all the time and she left a few other things here that I use. I assume they’re 100% mine at this point.
After we decided to split, her personality really changed. She wasn't hostile but just very cold, terse, and stolid. Had she carried that attitude into divorce court, she would have gone for the jugular, I could just sense it.
I remember a few days after she moved out, I was hiking with my dog thinking about the events of the past month. My mind kept envisioning I’m the QB of a NFL team and the defense is blitzing 8 guys from all angles at me, but my line and RBs picked them all up and I launched a TD pass and avoided disaster. I still feel that way. Whew.
HUGE bullet dodged.