Why do people behave this way towards me and how to address it?

[mrgoodstuff]

It probably means you need to be around people who are more of a similar mindset to yourself. Your noticing a normal life reaction being around people when you are more established than the ones around you.

 

[derby1]

That E46 M3 convertible is a solid car. If well maintained, it should help a man get some vagina.

it does, in a welfare area I am King, theyre not so interested when I go to higher council bracket areas

 

[2Rocky]

The hyenas always nip at the lion . But they feed on his scraps. If he can't hunt for himself, and becomes weak they will eat him...But as long as he is strong and successful there will be plenty of scraps for the hyenas to gorge upon.


What I find is that it is easier to elevate others through praise and recognition and develop my own Mutual Admiration Society.

 

[Kotaix]

Haters are gonna hate.

I have had "friends" that were always questioning my motives and opinions. One of them in particular was quite a bit bigger than me physically, but insecure and dumb. I later found out from my roommate who dated him briefly that he had erectile trouble.

Needless to say i lost all respect for him and any care for his constant disagreements with me.

Ignore the haters and let them wallow in their misery.

 

[2Rocky]

to add to my post above...

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I'm not sure if it is a simple fix of just cutting out certain people or possibly something more.

You must cut out all the losers of your life and also stop listening and caring what other people think of you because it doesn't matter.

Opinions are like arseholes; everybody's got one.

Chase your own excellence and become the one you were born to be.

Remember that the best 'revenge' ever is massive success.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Not as tall as you but muscular/lean, very attractive, and on top of that I'm a low-key genius. People get envious. I find that some women go out of their way to hurt me more or something, but this is just their trauma speaking. No need to take it personally. When in groups of men I tend to pull others up. But the ones who realize they can't one-up me get very salty.

Read "laws of human nature" and particularly the envier types.

 

[Grinderman]

Unlikely it is happening to you at a higher rate than it happens to anyone else. You're not processing it correctly.

Correct. He's repeating the same patterns of behavior that he had with his family.

He's simply not managed to update his software / break the chains of the past.

This is not about others, rather it is all about him. Which should come as good news as we cannot change others, but we can alter our perspective, thus altering how we perceive others.

 

[lost_blackbird]

I had a few remarks made at me this week at work when on a particularly warm evening I opted
on wearing a vest for work instead of a t shirt.
<- That's me there, I look pretty good for 48 and can easily turn heads in a vest as I found out
at work on Sunday evening. It was also the night (I work nights) of my birthday. Quite a few of the girls
found reasons to hang about in my workspace and I had Happy Birthday sung to me in 4 languages
that night by various nationality ladies as well as numerous hugs and kisses from the girls all initiated
by them. More or less all of them half my age and the walking romantic wish list of the other guys who
work with me, I observe their constant flirting and it seems to get them nowhere. whereas I don't pursue
or show any interest in the females like that at all. I just do my work and chat socially if I find myself in
conversation with work girls, I friend zone them straight off the bat. It's the curse of being genuinely
sexually unmotivated, you become a magnet to them, especially if you look halfway decent because they
just can't absorb that you can't be controlled with pvssy and won't try to chase them. In fact, at work, I tend
to use their surnames when I address them. Like a grammar school pupil or perhaps their boss might might.

Still there were one or two snippy comments about my physique from some of the other lads, even though I don't
want 'their' women, but I can see this is only because I attract the attention without trying, that they so desperately
want from the ladies we work with. They are free to shoot their shot if they want these girls, there's zero competition
from me except in their own heads. But working Sunday night in that vest, guns and tattoos out, the attention was
off the charts compared to a normal night. Women from age 20 thru to 65 were flirting with me with the bulk of them
being 20-30 years old to the point that there was almost a queue to talk to me. The guy I was working opposite that
night told me I was "unbelievable" as he could see I wasn't encouraging them at all, Another colleague told me
"I could have any woman in there if I wanted". I see mother nature has a sense of humour.

Point is, don't worry OP. For every hater there's as many people who admire you, most of those will do so quietly but
the odd one will compliment you directly. Listen to those people, not those that seek to devalue you.

 

[King Lion]

Opinions are like arseholes; everybody's got one.

And most of them stink!

 

[spikeanut]

OP, based on your initial revelation that your family used to do this to you when you were younger, my observation is you are hyper-sensitive to these types of negative comments. I would garner to say that you have very deep seeded insecurities, probably stemming from your upbringing and interactions with your family as a child. The first step in dealing with this is to understand and accept the issue. You've probably worked hard your entire life to build up your physique in the hopes that it would give you the confidence and self esteem boost to overcome these insecurities. However, it merely masks the issue if you do not deal with it directly. This would explain your reluctance in approaching women and also your sensitivity to negative comments from strangers who shouldn't matter in your life.

My suggestions OP, deal with the internal insecurities first. Start realizing that there will always be "haters" in this world. You cannot make every single person like you; similarly, not every woman will be attracted to you. On the flip side, because one woman finds you unattractive, that does not mean they all do. Once you accept for every hater or woman who finds you unattractive, there will be plenty that gravitate towards you. Your job as a man is to focus on finding and spending time with those individuals. Cut the negativity from your life. Understand that people's opinion of you does not matter and focus on your own opinion of yourself. You will be your own biggest critic; but can also be your own biggest supporter. It's your job as a man to chose how you view yourself. Once you love yourself, other people's opinion of you will become irrelevant. Good luck to you OP.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

And most of them stink!

Indeed they do!

 

[Paper Crane]

I'm going to give you the real answer you're looking for instead of any fluff or what others might have said to you because I honestly feel like I have a great grasp on psychology and sociology.. Human behavior.

The reason why people are doing this to you, is because you're a big dude. You have all it takes to be a guy who people can prod and poke at and yet you're supposed to be (in their mind) someoone who isn't phased by it because of your size. However, because you are phased by it and used to a pattern of belieivng people demean you, you might give off that vulnerable side a bit too much.. That vulnerability coming from a guy of your size and stature makes it easy for people to talk to you like that, even though you're handsome af and physically a beast.

Think of it like people telling a girl that is a 10/10 model that her makeup looks bad, just because they know shes super vulnerable about everything about herself, despite being practically an heavenly blessed beauty lol

 

[Romanemp22]

It's probably that people are maybe jealous of you in some aspect and are trying to bring you down. Remember the more you're successful, good looking, talkative the more people will despise you.

But the point is you is to not give a fvck and you keep fvcking the world as you always do. Be more c0cky and aggressive and your problem will go away.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You must cut out all the losers of your life and also stop listening and caring what other people think of you because it doesn't matter.

Opinions are like arseholes; everybody's got one.

Chase your own excellence and become the one you were born to be.

Remember that the best 'revenge' ever is massive success.

Haters gamble on you to fail. Thats their bet. If you listen you will do exactly as they desire.

 

[Bokanovsky]

An issue I've had my entire life is that other people seem to go out of their way to try to demean my accomplishments, qualities, etc. When I was younger this was primarily family oriented, but now as an adult I notice that other people behave in a similar manner towards me, albeit in more of a subtle and passive aggressive manner. This is something that I have experienced from both men and women and I'm not really sure what to make of it but the deeper intuitive feeling that I get is they are doing this out of insecurity they experience around me.

You get this treatment because you are big but not intimidating. No one would ever say that you have a "dad bod" if they got a sense that you could bash their head in case they pissed you off. But that's not the vibe they get form you. My guess is that you come across as an unassertive "gentle giant" who would tolerate disrespect. Little, insecure people love to pick on guys like that.

You need to adjust the way you carry yourself. Doesn't mean you should act like an angry psychopath all the time...just be rougher, have an edge. And if someone disrespects you, don't hesitate to put them in their place (verbally, not physically).

 

[zinc4]

why do you care what ugly people think? i used to get made fun of by some overweight women at my previous job for dressing a bit too sexy for work. showing off. and they tried to put me down. no surprise, one of the hotter girls told them to stop being haters. if they looked good, they'd show off too, instead of trying to hide their fat or not give any thought into their appearance cuz what's the point, they're ugly lol.

Fat women are the absolute worst lol.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Supposedly a few Hollywood females called Michael Jaw White "dumb and happy" because he doesn't go around throwing his weight around:

 

[sangheilios]

Sorry for the late replies to this thread, I've been busy with life and haven't been on here since I created this.

You obviously can’t (and shouldn’t) hide your look/physique.

But I would keep the rest of your life quiet in real life. Don’t even talk about career/investing or your dating life or your workout goals/accomplishments. Use that introversion to your advantage. Don’t tell people shyte about yourself unless it’s absolutely necessary.

I agree with you about keeping the accomplishments to myself. Whenever I truly strive for something and have success with it I feel a tremendous sense of pride internally and I have a tendency to advertise this, to an extent that is. I don't do this with total strangers but I've talked about my success with people that were in some manner within my social sphere and it created a situation where I was taking on fake "friends' into my life. To sum it up, they were essentially around, at least initially, because they felt they could benefit by being around me. I can look back and do believe that these people did enjoy my company but their initial motives were very superficial and they weren't really my friends, I'm not sure if that makes sense.

OP, based on your initial revelation that your family used to do this to you when you were younger, my observation is you are hyper-sensitive to these types of negative comments. I would garner to say that you have very deep seeded insecurities, probably stemming from your upbringing and interactions with your family as a child. The first step in dealing with this is to understand and accept the issue. You've probably worked hard your entire life to build up your physique in the hopes that it would give you the confidence and self esteem boost to overcome these insecurities. However, it merely masks the issue if you do not deal with it directly. This would explain your reluctance in approaching women and also your sensitivity to negative comments from strangers who shouldn't matter in your life.

My suggestions OP, deal with the internal insecurities first. Start realizing that there will always be "haters" in this world. You cannot make every single person like you; similarly, not every woman will be attracted to you. On the flip side, because one woman finds you unattractive, that does not mean they all do. Once you accept for every hater or woman who finds you unattractive, there will be plenty that gravitate towards you. Your job as a man is to focus on finding and spending time with those individuals. Cut the negativity from your life. Understand that people's opinion of you does not matter and focus on your own opinion of yourself. You will be your own biggest critic; but can also be your own biggest supporter. It's your job as a man to chose how you view yourself. Once you love yourself, other people's opinion of you will become irrelevant. Good luck to you OP.

I definitely agree with this and I didn't really fully grasp how my younger years have affected my adult life until relatively recently. When I was a young adult, late teens to early 20s, I had no concept of how much this had affected me and my interactions with my peers and I had a difficult time with socializing. Instead of addressing these issues, which at the time I had no understanding of, I focused on other things in my life but the end result was ending up socially stunted.

I'm going to give you the real answer you're looking for instead of any fluff or what others might have said to you because I honestly feel like I have a great grasp on psychology and sociology.. Human behavior.

The reason why people are doing this to you, is because you're a big dude. You have all it takes to be a guy who people can prod and poke at and yet you're supposed to be (in their mind) someoone who isn't phased by it because of your size. However, because you are phased by it and used to a pattern of belieivng people demean you, you might give off that vulnerable side a bit too much.. That vulnerability coming from a guy of your size and stature makes it easy for people to talk to you like that, even though you're handsome af and physically a beast.

Think of it like people telling a girl that is a 10/10 model that her makeup looks bad, just because they know shes super vulnerable about everything about herself, despite being practically an heavenly blessed beauty lol

I definitely see that.

You get this treatment because you are big but not intimidating. No one would ever say that you have a "dad bod" if they got a sense that you could bash their head in case they pissed you off. But that's not the vibe they get form you. My guess is that you come across as an unassertive "gentle giant" who would tolerate disrespect. Little, insecure people love to pick on guys like that.

You need to adjust the way you carry yourself. Doesn't mean you should act like an angry psychopath all the time...just be rougher, have an edge. And if someone disrespects you, don't hesitate to put them in their place (verbally, not physically).

The comments about having a dad bod were from a couple women, not other men, so obviously I'm not going to try to take on a potentially threatening demeanor. I get what you are saying though, I've had a hard time balancing this, either being a bit too passive and almost soft or behaving too aggressively. I agree though, one of the things I've been making an effort as of more lately is to make comments that put them in their place, as you mentioned. For instance, if I'm getting picked on a younger dude I can just say something like "when you are my age you'll be nowhere near as fit as me" or if a woman is behaving like this something along the lines of "I'm taller and in better shape than any man you ever have or will date or sleep with". The problem is doing this too much makes one come across as insecure.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sorry for the late replies to this thread, I've been busy with life and haven't been on here since I created this.



I agree with you about keeping the accomplishments to myself. Whenever I truly strive for something and have success with it I feel a tremendous sense of pride internally and I have a tendency to advertise this, to an extent that is. I don't do this with total strangers but I've talked about my success with people that were in some manner within my social sphere and it created a situation where I was taking on fake "friends' into my life. To sum it up, they were essentially around, at least initially, because they felt they could benefit by being around me. I can look back and do believe that these people did enjoy my company but their initial motives were very superficial and they weren't really my friends, I'm not sure if that makes sense.

You might have a tendancy to talk about it because it's what's on your mind, and a high percentage of what you think about. In my experience it does NOT HELP to share that with almost anyone in the world.

I definitely agree with this and I didn't really fully grasp how my younger years have affected my adult life until relatively recently. When I was a young adult, late teens to early 20s, I had no concept of how much this had affected me and my interactions with my peers and I had a difficult time with socializing. Instead of addressing these issues, which at the time I had no understanding of, I focused on other things in my life but the end result was ending up socially stunted.



I definitely see that.




The comments about having a dad bod were from a couple women, not other men, so obviously I'm not going to try to take on a potentially threatening demeanor. I get what you are saying though, I've had a hard time balancing this, either being a bit too passive and almost soft or behaving too aggressively. I agree though, one of the things I've been making an effort as of more lately is to make comments that put them in their place, as you mentioned. For instance, if I'm getting picked on a younger dude I can just say something like "when you are my age you'll be nowhere near as fit as me" or if a woman is behaving like this something along the lines of "I'm taller and in better shape than any man you ever have or will date or sleep with". The problem is doing this too much makes one come across as insecure.

I also don't agree in the "threatening" demeanor. You should be able to be secure enough in yourself and your ability to handle yourself so you don't go having to go throw your weight around on people. Maybe some of the things that you CAN say, you shouldn't say. We have to be mindful of the audience.