Still slightly bothered by this and I want to forget

[captain55]

To make a long story short, about 2-3 months ago I lost a woman I cared about deeply due to having some problems in the sack after starting a steroid cycle incorrectly when I was in the relationship with her. Things were good at first, but I had 2-3 times where I went soft out of nowhere and that was enough for the vibe between us to be ruined.

i have currently landed a chick not only hotter, but even better in bed. We have amazing sex and I **** like a porn star. She has an amazing ass and it just turns me into an animal I love it! My confidence is back and I feel like the man again. She comes over just to get ****ed, it’s great. It’s automatic, things are exactly how they should be and I’m as alpha as it gets in her eyes.

The only problem is ....sometimes throughout the day I still am haunted sometimes by those 2-3 dark weeks with my ex. It was by far the darkest time in my life to literally sit there and watching someone you planned a life with start to drift away from you. She was a nervous person in general and selfish in bed which did not help the situation! I literally had only one time when I went soft and that led to performance anxiety the next 2-3 times because she put so much pressure on me, and the relationship fell apart. She was raped prior to dating me too. It was like the perfect storm. Anyways She literally left me high and dry


its funny my ex in Cali told my friend she was only with me because I was amazing in bed. I used to pound her for hours. Yet here my last ex probably viewed me as a dud. The girl I’m banging now thinks I’m alpha as hell and is literally driving two hours just to get ****ed by me.

I do not want my ex back she is trash and I can just get much hotter women than her without much effort, but I am mad that I never got a chance to redeem myself in the sack with her. And I know this is all ego. I’m hoping that if I can bang 5-6 more hot chicks it will be enough to forget those dark few weeks for good.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Take a road trip and try not to get caught up in girls who have been raped (to be fair, I assume you only found out after you'd been with her awhile). I imagine her background caused her to put the performance pressure on you. If it only happened with her, I'd do my best to forget about it - which in your case might mean breaking your routine to get in a different headspace.

 

[captain55]

Take a road trip and try not to get caught up in girls who have been raped (to be fair, I assume you only found out after you'd been with her awhile). I imagine her background caused her to put the performance pressure on you. If it only happened with her, I'd do my best to forget about it - which in your case might mean breaking your routine to get in a different headspace.

I left the country for a week after seeing her. And pulled an incredibly hot woman after her. The pain is gone, but the ego is what needs to go. I want to literally be unphased by what happened.

An emotionally healthy person would say you know what I know who I am, and I have women hotter than her that think I’m amazing in bed who I had/have amazing sex with. **** what she thinks. But instead on focusing on the positives (I have a hot girl that loves getting ****ed by me) I still think about how I lost this one. Come to think of it, my ego is what lost her in the first place. I put too much pressure on myself to bang the **** out of her instead of just letting it happen. I want to forget brother. What happened with her was a bad dream. We both hate eachother

 

[spikeanut]

I left the country for a week after seeing her. And pulled an incredibly hot woman after her. The pain is gone, but the ego is what needs to go. I want to literally be unphased by what happened.

An emotionally healthy person would say you know what I know who I am, and I have women hotter than her that think I’m amazing in bed who I had/have amazing sex with. **** what she thinks. But instead on focusing on the positives (I have a hot girl that loves getting ****ed by me) I still think about how I lost this one. Come to think of it, my ego is what lost her in the first place. I put too much pressure on myself to bang the **** out of her instead of just letting it happen. I want to forget brother. What happened with her was a bad dream. We both hate eachother

OP, word of advice. The reason you are still thinking about her is because you are not completely over it. I can tell based on your last sentence. We as men, should have no hate, especially not towards someone who we are fully emotionally over. Once you accept that, it will be much easier to move on. Accept that there will be people in this world who will absolutely hate, look down on, or feel sorry for you, and there's nothing you can do about it. The only thing you can control and affect change upon is yourself. All this angst is self-induced in your own head. Stop living in your fantasy, and start living in the reality. Even if you sleep with her one last time and have a 48hr marathon session, there is nothing you are changing. You would not be repairing your ego, or redeeming yourself with her. There is no redemption in this scenario; the only redemption is to forget and move on.

 

[captain55]

OP, word of advice. The reason you are still thinking about her is because you are not completely over it. I can tell based on your last sentence. We as men, should have no hate, especially not towards someone who we are fully emotionally over. Once you accept that, it will be much easier to move on. Accept that there will be people in this world who will absolutely hate, look down on, or feel sorry for you, and there's nothing you can do about it. The only thing you can control and affect change upon is yourself. All this angst is self-induced in your own head. Stop living in your fantasy, and start living in the reality. Even if you sleep with her one last time and have a 48hr marathon session, there is nothing you are changing. You would not be repairing your ego, or redeeming yourself with her. There is no redemption in this scenario; the only redemption is to forget and move on.

Thanks brother. And looking back at the situation, I think what I miss most is being admired. I miss the feeling of having a hot 21 year old brag to her friends about this well off handsome guy she was dating. While she was beautiful I never really had fantasies of ****ing the **** out of her. i always dated curvier thick women and she was thin. I tried it and it ended horribly. Lesson learned, stick to your type. No skinny women for me. Also taught me that if you don’t absolutely want to **** the **** out of the girll your with constantly it will never work. Sex needs to be the glue.