LTR management and the word "LET"

[2Rocky]

So there is something about couples that bugs me and it is the word "LET". You might hear "My wife LET me go out with the guys this week ."

I think in a relationship the attitude should be :

• You are in charge of your own decisions.
• I appreciate if you consider my needs when you make them, and I will do the same.
• I appreciate you respecting my boundaries and I will tell you when you aren't.
• As long as we respect each others boundaries and needs, This arrangement will continue .
• You don't need my permission and I don't need yours to do activities with friends. When there is a time conflict, or one of us feels disrespected then we will speak up about it.
• If you lie, cheat or steal we are done.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Any dude that says that is pvssy whipped beyond belief

 

[FuzzX]

I LET my wife suck my **** if she's hungry.

 

[metalwater]

So there is something about couples that bugs me and it is the word "LET". You might hear "My wife LET me go out with the guys this week ."

I think in a relationship the attitude should be :

• You are in charge of your own decisions.
• I appreciate if you consider my needs when you make them, and I will do the same.
• I appreciate you respecting my boundaries and I will tell you when you aren't.
• As long as we respect each others boundaries and needs, This arrangement will continue .
• You don't need my permission and I don't need yours to do activities with friends. When there is a time conflict, or one of us feels disrespected then we will speak up about it.
• If you lie, cheat or steal we are done.

I want to agree but don't. Some women could do that, but most not.

The situation is more like a daughter, we take steps to ensure safety. I don't mean abuse I mean protection and that includes emotional protection from preditors. I believe some women can not protect themself as their mind is chaos. I am new to that idea so open to both or other ideas.

Also don't care for the word LET. But how else to implement protection of someone that CAN not do it themself. That could open a debate about if they can or not. Probably some can, and most can not depending on the situation. Many coaches tell you to simply not let yourself be in a dicey situation. That is using the LET word again. I hate it also, but how else do to it...??????? I guess there is always fail and next as the solution but that gets old after a few cycles.

 

[jimwho]

I've ghosted more men in my life by far than women. Friends that have to check with their better half. Or let me check with the boss. I've got to ask the wife. Maybe that's why my friends are dwindling. Makes me sick!

 

[manfrombelow]

I've ghosted more men in my life by far than women. Friends that have to check with their better half. Or let me check with the boss. I've got to ask the wife. Maybe that's why my friends are dwindling. Makes me sick!

Exactly.

Men who are willingly submissive to their women like an employee to his boss are untrustworthy, at least to me. I normally ghost these guys because I can't hang out with men I can't trust.

 

[manfrombelow]

I mean think about it, when a man lets go of his manhood only to submit to a pvssy, he also has forfeited his humanity and honor and dignity. How can we trust someone like that, let alone to have him as a friend?

Some of you might say I'm overracting but this is something I experienced myself. A very close friend of mine became more and more submissive to his wife to the point he asks for permission to go out with me and he stays home if he doesn't get that permission, and he told her almost everything (he thought he was being "honest").

His wife knew a lot about me, and she disliked me because I was single, free, and liked to have men-time with her husband for some beer and chitchat without her occasionally. She saw me as some kind of "bad influence" to her husband. And seeing the mother-son dynamics between the two of them just made me SMH.

 

[Serenity]

Interesting, I associate that word with gratitude rather than permission, at least in our marriage. Like I'm grateful I have a wife that lets me do certain things without making a fuzz about it. As it should be of course, but still grateful.

I tell her what I want to do and 99% of the time she has no issue with it and tell me to have a good time, she lets me. It's not about permission, it's just generally respectful behavior to tell the people you live with why you're away for like 3 hours. What's the alternative, just head over to your buddy without saying anything and be gone for hours when she expects you to be home? One way or another you're either disrespectful, she lets you or she fights you. If none of those options are ok then you my sir should stay far away from anything resembling a relationship.

I do also understand that this dynamic isn't as nice for everyone as it is for me. Some guys do need validation and will obey their wife/GF no matter what, that is indeed pathetic. That's not to say I would always overrule my wife if she wanted something else, most likely I'll always respect her wishes, but that's because 99% of the time I can do what I want. Had she always protested then I'd likely disobey, lose respect for her and ditch her.

Still, at the end of the day, she lets me.

 

[metalwater]

I mean think about it, when a man lets go of his manhood only to submit to a pvssy, he also has forfeited his humanity and honor and dignity. How can we trust someone like that, let alone to have him as a friend?

Some of you might say I'm overracting but this is something I experienced myself. A very close friend of mine became more and more submissive to his wife to the point he asks for permission to go out with me and he stays home if he doesn't get that permission, and he told her almost everything (he thought he was being "honest").

His wife knew a lot about me, and she disliked me because I was single, free, and liked to have men-time with her husband for some beer and chitchat without her occasionally. She saw me as some kind of "bad influence" to her husband. And seeing the mother-son dynamics between the two of them just made me SMH.

agree w/ this. the other direction I don't. I don't support that men should submit, I do support that men should watch over a woman in his care that has submitted to him. It's a double standard. the OP is suggesting that it should be the same in both directions I think and I don't agree w/ that. women need to be protected, men shall take care of themself.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I've pointed this out to some people and they look at me like I discovered fire. Of course we all made those same mistakes to get to where we are now. Most don't listen/care/change anything. Until of course she dumps them.

 

[metalwater]

99% of the time I can do what I want. Had she always protested then I'd likely disobey, lose respect for her and ditch her.

Still, at the end of the day, she lets me.

perfect, she supports you in what you choose. that is as good as it gets.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"Let" her give you some head and pvssy

 

[B80]

'happy wife, happy life'. usually a plausible reason for men excusing themselves for letting the wife be 'the boss'.

 

[B80]

Another one, when a guy gets married, he stops saying "I"

"I" becomes 'we' and 'us'

depends on context. used to find it interesting when women would refer to things like 'my house' when they're married. should be 'our house'. can give insight into their attitude towards the relationship.

 

[FuzzX]

Another one, when a guy gets married, he stops saying "I"

"I" becomes 'we' and 'us'

What's wrong with that? There is no I in TEAM.

 

[FuzzX]

Interesting, I associate that word with gratitude rather than permission, at least in our marriage. Like I'm grateful I have a wife that lets me do certain things without making a fuzz about it. As it should be of course, but still grateful.

I tell her what I want to do and 99% of the time she has no issue with it and tell me to have a good time, she lets me. It's not about permission, it's just generally respectful behavior to tell the people you live with why you're away for like 3 hours. What's the alternative, just head over to your buddy without saying anything and be gone for hours when she expects you to be home? One way or another you're either disrespectful, she lets you or she fights you. If none of those options are ok then you my sir should stay far away from anything resembling a relationship.

I do also understand that this dynamic isn't as nice for everyone as it is for me. Some guys do need validation and will obey their wife/GF no matter what, that is indeed pathetic. That's not to say I would always overrule my wife if she wanted something else, most likely I'll always respect her wishes, but that's because 99% of the time I can do what I want. Had she always protested then I'd likely disobey, lose respect for her and ditch her.

Still, at the end of the day, she lets me.

I think a lot of these guys misunderstand what a marriage is. Your wife is a girl, yes but she's also a friend, you're best friend. You wouldn't ditch your bestfriend or deliberately treat them like sh1t or take them for granted. You certainly wouldn't accept that behavior from a woman. A marriage is a partnership and an agreement that you'll treat each other well and help each other whenever possible. Her opinion is valuable, she's not a blow up doll or a toy, she's looking out for you and herself. She needs to be protective because it's all she's got and you are her future. That may or may not be the case for your friends, IDK but that's what a marriage means to me. Anything else is not a marriage, it's a prison of your own design. This is why it's important to be genuine in a relationship, if everyone is on the same page, there won't be any misunderstandings.

If you're a friend of a friend, you need to take into account his wife. You need to include her in the 'man-time' either by acknowledging her position or by letting her tag along or setting her up with your own girlfriend or wife. Your friends are married bro, and that is natural. Being a single peter pan is un-natural to most men and women, sorry but this is the way.