"Game" at a new workplace

[crowolf]

Hello, guys. Hope you are doing good!

I have a new job and there are a lot of women around, most of whom - attractive. We are in the same office, but in different teams (pairs). I find 3 or 4 girls attractive and some of them have interest in me too. We have talked a little bit, mostly work-related stuff. At times I didn't feel and appear fully confident but I guess It's okay since It's a new environment and out of my comfort zone. I still have time to bound and build relationships.

What's the plan to gain status in the place and eventually date a girl from there? I would be thankful if anyone who had experience in similar situations share what they did right, what wrong etc. I would really like to build good connections and date a girl from there. Since we are in different teams, I don't think It would be a problem to our work if the relationship fails. (thinking way too ahead but ey..)

 

[Barrister]

Hello, guys. Hope you are doing good!

I have a new job and there are a lot of women around, most of whom - attractive. We are in the same office, but in different teams (pairs). I find 3 or 4 girls attractive and some of them have interest in me too. We have talked a little bit, mostly work-related stuff. At times I didn't feel and appear fully confident but I guess It's okay since It's a new environment and out of my comfort zone. I still have time to bound and build relationships.

What's the plan to gain status in the place and eventually date a girl from there? I would be thankful if anyone who had experience in similar situations share what they did right, what wrong etc. I would really like to build good connections and date a girl from there. Since we are in different teams, I don't think It would be a problem to our work if the relationship fails. (thinking way too ahead but ey..)

Don’t sh1t where you eat. This is an awful idea for a variety of reasons. Go elsewhere to meet women. You can use these girls for some social proof or meeting other women.

 

[Kotaix]

Don't date your coworkers if you work with them in any capacity at all

There isn't anything wrong with flirting with women at work. But you should always be sexually unavailable to them and never give them prefferetial treatment because they're cute. This will give you power over them and maintain the attraction, as well as get you favors.

Do be social with them, but stay unavailable.

 

[B80]

Depends if this is just a short term job you're not fussed about or is it a career role, or money you desperately need from it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If your gonna do it, it's better if they are from different groups, in a different building or an entirely different section. So you don't have to see them or work with them. Although it's better not to mess with someone from the same company.

 

[Poonstra]

Don't f*ck around at work. Find options elsewhere.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Don't do it, my dad would always do this **** and would always end up getting fired or set to be fired

 

[Barrister]

Public Service Announcement:

Everybody quit posting this 'holier than thou' crap about not trying to get with a girl he works with. @Barrister, you're cool, obv.

In every single thread, there's always that ONE guy who has to be all high and mighty and give us his philosophy about things.

Just answer the guy's question.

He asked how to go about proceeding with one of the lovely ladies he works with.

He didn't ask if it was a good idea. He asked for specifics on HOW to go about gaming one of them.

@crowolf Do what I advised you to do earlier in this thread.

Has nothing to do with philosophy, Hank. And I am not trying to be "high and mighty." It quite simply isn't worth it. It's a universal truth and there isn't going to be one guy saying it -- I think most people on here would dissuade OP from this action.

There is so much that can wrong on a variety of levels -- especially if he is the new guy.

 

[Poonstra]

I'm not gonna give that man pointers on how to dig his own hole.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Public Service Announcement:

Everybody quit posting this 'holier than thou' crap about not trying to get with a girl he works with. @Barrister, you're cool, obv.

In every single thread, there's always that ONE guy who has to be all high and mighty and give us his philosophy about things.

Just answer the guy's question.

He asked how to go about proceeding with one of the lovely ladies he works with.

He didn't ask if it was a good idea. He asked for specifics on HOW to go about gaming one of them.

@crowolf Do what I advised you to do earlier in this thread.

If he's gonna do it, it's kinda stupid to do it in his own group/team.

 

[Paper Crane]

game and work place are two things that don't fit together well in my opinion. It leaves too much room for awkwardness and allegations of sexual misconduct (ie: if you're a higher position and she's a subordinate)

now it would be nice if you worked in a corporate setting to have a girl meet you in one of your offices after hours for a quickie or a ******* or something. but again, these situations aren't always ideal and are more of a you don't think abotu it usually and its one of those things that just happens

 

[soulforge]

Dude it's awkward.. And I wouldn't recommend it.. I am 43 years old and in my entire working life I have never broken the golden rule of banging a girl from work.. Up until quite recently hahaha

I wouldn't recommend it.. Once it falls apart, you will have to bump into that sloot every other day and it's awkward.

Especially if you have to ghost her like I have.

 

[f(x)]

I banged a very attractive coworker once; she came to me though. I would just make small talk with her when appropriate, and eventually she asked me out. I had her on the first date.

It was my first legit hottie and I was stoked. However, word got around and a lot of my male coworkers became noticeably jealous and began making moves on her.

After about a month of dating she ended it. At first it was a little awkward being around her, but that soon passed.

“Let’s just be coworkers “ haha

I think dating in the workplace should be handled very delicately. Hopefully she’ll be the one to drop you...

 

[sangheilios]

I used to hangout with a man who was getting fired from all sorts of various bank related jobs that he was going through in our area. He told our friend group that he wasn't passing required exams nor meeting certain sales goals, which always felt off but I never cared enough to investigate. After having this particular guy cut from my life I shortly after discovered that he had been getting fired from all of these jobs due to sexual harassment type complaints from all these different women that he had been working with at these banks.

I don't think it's worth the potential drama if this is a serious job/career for you.

 

[soulforge]

I banged a very attractive coworker once; she came to me though. I would just make small talk with her when appropriate, and eventually she asked me out. I had her on the first date.

It was my first legit hottie and I was stoked. However, word got around and a lot of my male coworkers became noticeably jealous and began making moves on her.

After about a month of dating she ended it. At first it was a little awkward being around her, but that soon passed.

“Let’s just be coworkers “ haha

I think dating in the workplace should be handled very delicately. Hopefully she’ll be the one to drop you...

The matter gets worse if you still fancy her & you have to see her every day, and she probably banging other Co workers.

Beat not mess with Co workers

 

[B80]

The matter gets worse if you still fancy her & you have to see her every day, and she probably banging other Co workers.

Beat not mess with Co workers

thing is like you say, better for her to dump you and not because you've been an arsehole.

I could deal with being dumped and carry on working as before, but would have my doubts as to whether all women could remain professional, act with integrity if you dumped them...

 

[manfrombelow]

You don't mess with workplace women.

Because workplace romance only brings drama and severe consequences, especially in this time and age of crazy feminism and MeToo movement. And most of the times, if not all the times, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I'm talking as someone who got sexually involved with workplace romance before, and 100% regretted that I was.

It's as simple as that.

 

[soulforge]

You don't mess with workplace women.

Because workplace romance only brings drama and severe consequences, especially in this time and age of crazy feminism and MeToo movement. And most of the times, if not all the times, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I'm talking as someone who got sexually involved with workplace romance before, and 100% regretted that I was.

It's as simple as that.

Totally this.. Work life becomes awkward once it dies off and you see her around all the time.

Plus if she gets bitter and angry, she may cause problems.

 

[Grinderman]

I have a new job and there are a lot of women around, most of whom - attractive.

Do you value this job? Can you progress professionally? This is where your FRAME should be. The women there....are they competent? will they help you progress professionally and you with them? This is where your FRAME should be. "most of them are attractive" I'm imagining you like bamby here.....deer in the headlights. If this is macdonalds sure no problem. If it's a professional environment your FRAME is vibrating from a low thirsty level.

At times I didn't feel and appear fully confident but I guess It's okay since It's a new environment and out of my comfort zone.

Because it sounds like you are in your head evaluating things from a personal perspective "do they like me (sexually)?" WRONG FRAME, WRONG ENVIRONMENT.

I would really like to build good connections and date a girl from there.

This FRAME needs to change. "I would like to do a professional job, progress professionally and build good working relationships with my coworkers"

I don't think It would be a problem to our work if the relationship fails. (thinking way too ahead but ey..)

I HATE to use the "alpha/beta" terms.......in this case it's clear you are on the beta spectrum with this way of thinking. Be careful not to develop that thousand yard stare when you are daydreaming about your future relationship with these girls...

WAKE THE FVCK UP

 

[manfrombelow]

When things are good, it's "Workplace Romance". It's about living in a romantic love story that makes her vagina tingle.

When things go south (no pun intended), it's Sexual Harrassment / Professional Misconduct and it's always the men, not the women (because they are always victims, while the men are always the bad guys) who pay the most hefty price.