OP, there's no need to try and classify this chick into Cluster B, narcissist, or having a personality disorder, or anything else. None of that matters. What truly matters is she is completely disrespecting you, to your face. End of Story. She is doing so because you've allowed it to occur without any repercussions from day 1.
When others recommend you drop this chick, it means she is not LTR material. This doesn't mean you have to verbally tell her you want to break up. It means removing your time and attention away from her and treating her as the plate she is. Since you failed to stop the disrespect the moment it occurred, it is now very passive aggressive, and not to mention very weak, to all of a sudden "break things off" with her with a verbal, "this just isn't working out" talk. Those types of talks should occur at the moment she violates any of your boundaries...not days after they've occurred. Otherwise, it just comes off as being weak and exposes the reality of you merely wanting her to fight for your affection in the hopes of regaining control of the relationship.
This type of woman is not LTR material, therefore there is no need in trying to regain control of anything. Just remove your time and attention. Don't fall for her words of affection, but rather look at her actions towards you. She "says" she loves you; but her actions completely disrespects you. Actions will always speak more truth than words. She sees you as a weak man who she has complete control over. Drop her.