Sex: Consent and being Forceful

[MrPwr]

So I figured this would need another thread.
long story short, sexless LTR, always getting rejected for sex, I thought it was low attraction (still think this might be the case) but the other night my subconcious kind of "took over" and I woke up hard grinding/rubbing her and with no objections from her like the normal "go away, fk off" etc I decided fvk it and pinned her down prone and went to pound town. It was fantastic for me, I didn't think for a second what she wanted or to even ask, I just did what I wanted.

This was not our normal sexual encounter.
Which now has me wondering if this is the reason our sex life dropped significantly after the honeymoon period.

Is not asking okay? or is it basically rape?
Does asking nullify the sexual fantasy of being forcfully dominated, for a woman?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So I figured this would need another thread.
long story short, sexless LTR, always getting rejected for sex, I thought it was low attraction (still think this might be the case) but the other night my subconcious kind of "took over" and I woke up hard grinding/rubbing her and with no objections from her like the normal "go away, fk off" etc I decided fvk it and pinned her down prone and went to pound town. It was fantastic for me, I didn't think for a second what she wanted or to even ask, I just did what I wanted.

This was not our normal sexual encounter.
Which now has me wondering if this is the reason our sex life dropped significantly after the honeymoon period.

Is not asking okay? or is it basically rape?
Does asking nullify the sexual fantasy of being forcfully dominated, for a woman?

I wouldn't worry about it unless she objects. You didnt' drug her, she had option to verbally detest the situation.

What's really funny is by being extra careful and cautious for sex, you train your image to be less sexual. Women can train your image to be less sexual, less desireable by rejecting you or putting sex off continuously. It gives her a feeling of control. But on your end, your image starts to look less "successful" and is not as desireable to other women. She can "turn you off" to the point where you don't turn anyone on.

A man who gets sex when he wants who females allow to initiate and "take it", will have a more sexualized image. That sexualized image that hit's most of it's "shots" turns on women all by itself without you saying a single word. It's like it pushes a button on her. She can be aware of the button and realize she's being turned on and want to control that feeling, thus feeling "annoyed".

I would try again, but don't talk about her and ask what happened.

 

[Billtx49]

Is not asking okay? or is it basically rape?
Does asking nullify the sexual fantasy of being forcfully dominated, for a woman?

I have no idea what asking for sex is. In my life I never have. You take the lead and make the right moves, she complies or rejects. That’s all it is.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She likes you to take it

 

[MrPwr]

I have no idea what asking for sex is. In my life I never have. You take the lead and make the right moves, she complies or rejects. That’s all it is.

I been doing it wrong in this LTR, previously I never had to think about it, my previous relationships were short. In those relationships/flings I would either get jumped by her as soon as we were alone or I'd feel that sexual tension and just go for it.
LTR seems different.

Thanks for your comment!

 

[TheProspect]

This is tricky.

Chicks want to feel like you can't resist your desire to physically dominate them because they want to be ravaged by a dominant man, but in a way they also want to be able trust him and feel safe.

Each chick will have both soft limits and hard limits to what they allow to happen to them in the bedroom. A soft limit is something they will let happen if they are turned on enough and things are really heated, or they will at least tolerate. A hard limit is something they never want happening to them, especially without consent (extreme examples: being actually strangled during sex, or being donkey punched lol).

To make things even more challenging, women will have different limits for different guys, and most women expect a man to be able to figure out what her limit for him is. Most women are turned off if you stop and ask consent every step of the way before you escalate.

I'm fairly good at knowing how far I can go with a woman by reading her in realtime. Not in the sense of if I can sleep with her (although that too), but how far I can take & escalate the dominance and aggression in the bedroom.

I have never asked for consent in the heat of the moment, I just instead gradually ramp up the physical dominance and gauge how the woman responds to it. Each women is different. I have a current plate where spanking and hair pulling is just a warmup, she's into hard face slapping and choking and at a minimum told to shut the fvck up and take it, I mean she's REALLY into all that. She's nuts lol, but it's fun, and she's back to a relatively normal chick outside of the bedroom.

On the other hand, while most chicks enjoy some degree of spanking and some hair-pulling, most draw the line hard when it comes to face slapping, real choking, and being verbally threatened in a sexual way. If I pulled some of the sh!t I do with the nuts girl I mentioned with most other plates I've had, I probably would scare them if it was without consent and perhaps even end up with charges, especially if I pissed them off and gave them a reason to make my life hard.

Is not asking okay? or is it basically rape?

It's inherently neutral, in my opinion. However, being told firmly, "No", or any other stern rejection, is a stop sign, and you should stop.

Of course how the girl says "No" in regards to tonality and context play a role in determining if it's an actual NO or if she's being playful. Most men should be able to figure out the difference. If you're genuinely unsure, stop. Don't risk it. Better to look like a puzzy than end up with charges.

Does asking nullify the sexual fantasy of being forcfully dominated, for a woman?

In most cases, yes.

It's best to learn how to read a women in realtime and escalate your dominance gradually. Once you know a particular woman better you can be more bold with your escalation, because you've built that trust and comfort.

 

[TheProspect]

Regarding your overall situation, you posted this in another thread you created a week ago:

TLDR:
She is the breadwinner - I am in her frame
I'm nearing my peak SMV - she is on her way down
She is not ****ing - I want the sexytime

Writings on the wall my friend, and you know it.

Dump her. Start talking to, meeting up with, and fvcking new women.

 

[MrPwr]

Regarding your overall situation, you posted this in another thread you created a week ago:




Writings on the wall my friend, and you know it.

Dump her. Start talking to, meeting up with, and fvcking new women.

Is it though? I'm not sure I do know it for sure.
Was I not just literally doing it wrong?
How do I know she just doesn't need that kind of dominance for our sex life to exist?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Is it though? I'm not sure I do know it for sure.
Was I not just literally doing it wrong?
How do I know she just doesn't need that kind of dominance for our sex life to exist?

Do it again tonight. Don't ask questions, don't wonder. When you get pushed into a situation where you have to "ask" or "wait for approval" it's a less masculine position. This situation has eroded parts of your masculinity.

Trust when I said the dynamic can literally kill all your motivation, drive and kill your imagination. I know you need all that to do what you do.

 

[MrPwr]

Do it again tonight. Don't ask questions, don't wonder. When you get pushed into a situation where you have to "ask" or "wait for approval" it's a less masculine position. This situation has eroded parts of your masculinity.

Trust when I said the dynamic can literally kill all your motivation, drive and kill your imagination. I know you need all that to do what you do.

Yeah I will have a go at it.
I think I am trying to find a good grip to hang on to this relationship.
The last thing I want is to lose my drive/imagination and become just another simp engineer spreadsheet monkey.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah I will have a go at it.
I think I am trying to find a good grip to hang on to this relationship.
The last thing I want is to lose my drive/imagination and become just another simp engineer spreadsheet monkey.

Fvck that. If you can't fvck her when you want you got nothing. You gotta drop her. You made a mistake choosing her.

 

[Jariel]

This is a tough one. You would think if she objected she would say no or push you off, though I've spoken to women who were in this exact situation and years later have convinced themselves they were raped. In all likelihood, they are bitter at the ex for other reasons and are using this as a way to demonise him or play the victim.

Not to say this is always the case and I don't believe marriage gives anyone the right to force sex if their partner refuses. However, most women want a man to take control in this exact way. Great sex is all about dropping inhibitions, social roles and acting on our primal instincts. There's also something extremely exciting about breaking taboos, which is why forced sex fantasies are so common in women. But you will never find anybody who is aroused by political correctness.

I can't assume to know your wife's fantasies or desires, but I would guess by doing this you have gained her respect and brought some much needed excitement to your sex life. You will probably feel so much better about yourself too, having embraced your masculinity and taken the lead. And this too will have a knock on effect where she finds herself more attracted to you.

However, let's assume this is exactly what she wants and you've stirred some of her deepest fantasies. There's always a chance she could use this against you if ever you break up or she turns against you one day. In this day and age, people are so quick to dismiss context or evidence. All it would take is a conversation with friends or a post on social media to ruin your reputation and you life. Or you might get some valiant white knights jumping you one night.

The main thing I would suggest is if she ever says no (or words to that effect) you stop immediately. Never assume any resistance or objection is part of a fantasy. You might want to explore these fantasies further in which case you should discuss it with her and establish safe words and boundaries.

 

[MrPwr]

Not to say this is always the case and I don't believe marriage gives anyone the right to force sex if their partner refuses. However, most women want a man to take control in this exact way. Great sex is all about dropping inhibitions, social roles and acting on our primal instincts. There's also something extremely exciting about breaking taboos, which is why forced sex fantasies are so common in women. But you will never find anybody who is aroused by political correctness.

I have met a few people who were so woke, I am certain PC would get them hot and bothered.

However, let's assume this is exactly what she wants and you've stirred some of her deepest fantasies. There's always a chance she could use this against you if ever you break up or she turns against you one day. In this day and age, people are so quick to dismiss context or evidence. All it would take is a conversation with friends or a post on social media to ruin your reputation and you life. Or you might get some valiant white knights jumping you one night.

You're not wrong! context is unecessary to the lynch mobs who are ready and waiting!
More than likely it wont happen again, and I will leave.

The main thing I would suggest is if she ever says no (or words to that effect) you stop immediately. Never assume any resistance or objection is part of a fantasy.

Yeah I was and am always cautious of this, I'm just more used to the girls who like the rougher play being more overt about it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is a tough one. You would think if she objected she would say no or push you off, though I've spoken to women who were in this exact situation and years later have convinced themselves they were raped. In all likelihood, they are bitter at the ex for other reasons and are using this as a way to demonise him or play the victim.

It excited them at the time, to be overcome by his desire. Years later, things didn't work out as she planned and f*ist got in her ear and convinced her that unless there is verbal concent at every step of the way or she initiated than it could be considered rape.

Not to say this is always the case and I don't believe marriage gives anyone the right to force sex if their partner refuses. However, most women want a man to take control in this exact way. Great sex is all about dropping inhibitions, social roles and acting on our primal instincts. There's also something extremely exciting about breaking taboos, which is why forced sex fantasies are so common in women. But you will never find anybody who is aroused by political correctness.

We all agree on that. In manhood. The thing about it, is why marry a man you don't intend to have sex with. Men don't have to support that position. And many of the women got married ( especially in the last 10 years) and figure they are going to carry on exactly the same as she did in her single days. The husband just being a "prop" in her life.

I can't assume to know your wife's fantasies or desires, but I would guess by doing this you have gained her respect and brought some much needed excitement to your sex life. You will probably feel so much better about yourself too, having embraced your masculinity and taken the lead. And this too will have a knock on effect where she finds herself more attracted to you.

It's only one time though. He hasn't gotten "all the way up" from being knocked down. His wife position flattens a sexual man.

However, let's assume this is exactly what she wants and you've stirred some of her deepest fantasies. There's always a chance she could use this against you if ever you break up or she turns against you one day. In this day and age, people are so quick to dismiss context or evidence. All it would take is a conversation with friends or a post on social media to ruin your reputation and you life. Or you might get some valiant white knights jumping you one night.

Thing about it is he could behave like this and she have white knights jump on him. The other part is he literally can DO NOTHING and she still pin that bull on him.

The main thing I would suggest is if she ever says no (or words to that effect) you stop immediately. Never assume any resistance or objection is part of a fantasy. You might want to explore these fantasies further in which case you should discuss it with her and establish safe words and boundaries.

I agree 100%. If she says "no" you stop. However if she says "no" and then explains you don't have to back down so easily, then do it how she wants it.

 

[King Lion]

So I figured this would need another thread.
long story short, sexless LTR, always getting rejected for sex, I thought it was low attraction (still think this might be the case) but the other night my subconcious kind of "took over" and I woke up hard grinding/rubbing her and with no objections from her like the normal "go away, fk off" etc I decided fvk it and pinned her down prone and went to pound town. It was fantastic for me, I didn't think for a second what she wanted or to even ask, I just did what I wanted.

This was not our normal sexual encounter.
Which now has me wondering if this is the reason our sex life dropped significantly after the honeymoon period.

Is not asking okay?
or is it basically rape?

Does asking nullify the sexual fantasy of being forcfully dominated, for a woman?

They'll never admit it, but many Beauties want/need a Beast!

This was not our normal sexual encounter.
Which now has me wondering if this is the reason our sex life dropped significantly after the honeymoon period.
Yes.

Is not asking okay?
Hmmm - If you have to "ask" your woman - Is she really your woman?!?

or is it basically rape?
If you thought that - Why did you proceed?
Although you co-habitate, if she says "no"... Well, you should already know the answer.

Does asking nullify the sexual fantasy of being forcfully dominated, for a woman?
What do you think? I would think so.

Use it - Don't abuse it!

 

[FuzzX]

I ask this question:

Are you on your period?

Yes - Play video games
No - It's on!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP....how can you be in your peak SMV when she is the breadwinner?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

OP....how can you be in your peak SMV when she is the breadwinner?

SMV == sexual market value

 

[Atom Smasher]

Is this your wife?
Did she say anything about it or act differently the next morning?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I have no idea what asking for sex is. In my life I never have. You take the lead and make the right moves, she complies or rejects. That’s all it is.

+1

In all my years of sling D, I never ask. I instruct. Comply or bye. I don't do lmr. Can chill a few times. If no sexy time or throater I am out.

In retrospective backwards rational, it's not to sound cool. Modern women are getting ran through. Waiting is Ricky retard. The most precious commodity is time. Fellas must protect your time wisely. Best advice for young blood on the come up.

I would add dare to be great. Shoot your shot. You will take Ls. I do that but I always shoot my shot. A girl sparked a bowl 1x. I asked WHY? She said she was anxious. I esculated. Just put my arm around and her and said what's up? End up going balls deep and Nutting on her face/in mouth.

Reward favors the bold. I have struck out over the years of Game. Not 1x did I get slapped, a drink thrown at me or in a fist fight though a few close calls lulz.