Is a man being a "fatphobe" for not wanting to sex his girlfriend because she's fat?

[MatureDJ]

I was reading this, and it got me interested:

I Just Found Out Why My Boyfriend Won’t Have Sex With Me, and I’m Devastated

He assures me he still loves me and doesn't want to leave me. How do I get past this?

slate.com

Like many others, our sex life has taken a pretty substantial hit over the last year ... and recently I found out why—I’ve gained weight, and he’s no longer attracted to me.

I’m devastated. He assures me he still loves me and doesn’t want to leave me, but he doesn’t have any ideas how to get back on track other than for me to lose the weight. And while I’ve gained substantial weight since we’ve been dating (about 35 pounds and two dress sizes), it’s been hard won. I started recovery for my eating disorders about three years ago, and I was finally starting to feel like I was gaining at least a sense of neutrality about my body. Yes, I’d put on weight, but I no longer wept for hours with hatred at my appearance, counted every calorie, exercised to the point of injury, or kept losing my hair. At the same time though, I know the weight gain is my fault, and it’s not his fault for losing his attraction to me.

my opinion: Lose the lard, honey. Your boyfriend's d!ck doesn't care about you being "neutral" about your obesity.

 

[NSX-R]

People making up new terms to excuse their unhealthy and ugly lifestyle.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

my opinion: Lose the lard, honey. Your boyfriend's d!ck doesn't care about you being "neutral" about your obesity.

What i dont see in this article is her actual weight. She states that she has been recovering from eating disorders and therefore put weight on. So this woman might as well have been suffering from anorexia, putting up 35lbs and having a rather healthy weight now, while her boyfriend only gets a hard deeck when he can see every rib on her.

 

[Who Dares Win]

As if getting an erection or being turned on was a conscious decision...ask her if she gets wet when she sees a short unemployed man.

 

[SirBigBell]

Its romantic fraud to gain weight in a relationship. A man has the right to say “hey this is not the package i signed up for”. If I order a KFC bucket of wings I expect to see wings all the way to the bottom. Dont be tricking me with wings at the top of the bucket then halfway down I start to see heads, feet and intestines.

 

[Jariel]

If people want to embrace being overweight and feel confident about it, then good for them. Personally I like girls with curves and a bit on the thick side.

What does irritate me though is how many people these days throw accusations of being fat phobic, racist, transphobic or whatever else when people don't pander to them.

It's not anyone's duty to be attracted to us and if we're not making the effort to look our best we can't expect to reap the rewards.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No he is not finding her physically attractive.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Weight gain is unacceptable. I make that shvt known up front. If she expects me to be a productive, competent man, I expect her to be fit. Nothing pisses me off more than women who gain significant weight in a relationship.

Modern women know they shouldn’t be fat. They’re just too fvcking lazy. Simps out here rewarding their laziness.

Men, never let a woman shame you for not accepting her fatness. She would drop you in a second if you decided to quit working. Don’t think otherwise.

 

[RickTheToad]

If people want to embrace being overweight and feel confident about it, then good for them. Personally I like girls with curves and a bit on the thick side.

What does irritate me though is how many people these days throw accusations of being fat phobic, racist, transphobic or whatever else when people don't pander to them.

It's not anyone's duty to be attracted to us and if we're not making the effort to look our best we can't expect to reap the rewards.

So, this is something you are attracted to?

 

[Tilex]

All she has to do is break up with him and then go online looking for new guys.
There's so many thirsty and pathetic dudes online, they'll even chase after 3's & 4's.

 

[bat soup]

I was reading this, and it got me interested:

I Just Found Out Why My Boyfriend Won’t Have Sex With Me, and I’m Devastated

He assures me he still loves me and doesn't want to leave me. How do I get past this?

slate.com

my opinion: Lose the lard, honey. Your boyfriend's d!ck doesn't care about you being "neutral" about your obesity.

How do I get past this?

Lose the damn weight before your boyfriend realises that he can do better.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How do I get past this?

Lose the damn weight before your boyfriend realises that he can do better.

I have a buddy who’s girlfriend gained 40 lbs in their relationship. I cringed when he told me. He gave me the usual “it’s a sensitive topic, I can’t say anything about it.” That couldn’t be me. She turned into a whale before they are even married with kids. SMH.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Women that gain 40 lbs on their boyfriend are not loving. That’s such a sign of disrespect.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Weight gain is unacceptable. I make that shvt known up front. If she expects me to be a productive, competent man, I expect her to be fit. Nothing pisses me off more than women who gain significant weight in a relationship.

Modern women know they shouldn’t be fat. They’re just too fvcking lazy. Simps out here rewarding their laziness.

Men, never let a woman shame you for not accepting her fatness. She would drop you in a second if you decided to quit working. Don’t think otherwise.

Thats the best policy, I too make it clear from the beginning that fat women are no attractive no matter what and if they try with the "everyone is beautiful in their own way" or try to shame me with the "inside beauty" sh1t, I double it and say that no only they are ugly but they also sucks inside cause they cant even face a candy bar.

I also remind them that being fat is a typical sign of low status low income low education people, it has to be clear that since we have to pass nazi like tests when it comes of our height, finances and status, they too have to provide proof of value.

Anytime my ex gfs and I had to deal with fat women I made a point once at home to say how disgusting they were and none of those sea monsters would ever get in my bed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Thats the best policy, I too make it clear from the beginning that fat women are no attractive no matter what and if they try with the "everyone is beautiful in their own way" or try to shame me with the "inside beauty" sh1t, I double it and say that no only they are ugly but they also sucks inside cause they cant even face a candy bar.

I also remind them that being fat is a typical sign of low status low income low education people, it has to be clear that since we have to pass nazi like tests when it comes of our height, finances and status, they too have to provide proof of value.

If she pulls that shvt on me I ask how she would view a man that quits his six figure job to pursue his dream of becoming a rapper. They give a blank “holy shvt” stare. “You won’t support his dream?”

 

[wifehunter]

So, this is something you are attracted to?

 

[Jariel]

So, this is something you are attracted to?

No chance, but I would totally go for girls like this...

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

No chance, but I would totally go for girls like this...

you got good taste , especially that last broad on the right brotha

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

its not about a chick bein overweight its all about where her body carries her weight.
i like them whales with a lil tummy and a lot of hips and thighs and ass.

however , some girls look better slim and tone, they put on weight in all the wrong places when they get overweight.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Men need to screen women for their lifestyle choices early on...a big red flag is any girl who's incidentally skinny without even trying. If they don't seem to care about their eating or physical activity habits you can just assume they'll get fat later in life.

That said I actually don't mind some overweight women, especially if they've been like that for a long time. They know how to carry themselves and dress in a flattering way. Nothing worse than a healthy weight girl who gets fat when she's older, it's also depressing to know you're not seeing them at their best years.

If you date a girl who's overweight she might not take offense to you trying to help her lose weight as long as you establish you're attracted to her as she is in her current state. Don't ever make the mistake of trying to change them if you're not already attracted though.