Make high value your purpose

[Pm856]

Most dating coaches tell you to work on your purpose. Let's say you work 9-5 and your purpose is within this time and then it gets too much and you need to relax. The problem is that the point is not to work on your purpose to get abundance mindset, but your purpose have to be to become a high-value man. So regardless what you do, build high-quality frame through jobs, carrier, clothes, gym etc. Some of us have many things going on but still lack frame because we haven't understood this.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Most people hate their jobs so work ends up being a highly stressful, unfulfilling waste of time.

I feel very lucky that I found the right path in my life and have a career in a field I am passionate about, is in high demand and that pays very well.

 

[Jariel]

I have wasted a massive part of my life feeling like I'm not good enough, constantly hustling and trying to "make it". I got caught up in the self help cult and horrible advice that suggests you should sleep less, work more and that anything else is a waste of time. At one point I was sleeping 4-5 hours, consuming dangerous amounts of caffeine and ephedrine to get stuff done. It fcuked up my health, led to a couple of relationships falling apart and I even had a few breakdowns and bouts of crippling depression.

But the worst part is looking back and seeing how many life experiences I allowed to pass by. I was constantly putting off travel, dates and recreation until I "made it" - a stage that never actually exists. Whenever I did go out with friends or away somewhere I was feeling guilty, like I was wasting time and never fully enjoyed it.

I've realised now that life is way to valuable to waste on a constant hustle and all it does is make you feel like you're not enough. I'm a big advocate of self improvement and chasing your goals, but it's essential to find balance and integrate it into your life, rather than letting it become your life.

After this hard lesson, I now sleep 8 hours every night and allow more time for recreation. Sometimes, I'll even play video games of an evening...just as long as I've done something productive earlier that day. I enjoy life so much more and feel more confident and assured. Ironically, I seem to get more done too. I'm able to focus more. I enjoy my work more and put quality before quantity.

 

[Jariel]

Society and corporations and religions will try to sell you on promises of some future happiness, after you accomplish x,y, or z. Key word is "sell." But there are outlets for happiness all around us and they're mostly pretty cheap.

Absolutely! These organisations, influencers and "gurus" make out their purpose is to help others, but behind their facade of altruism is a motive to make profit. They prey on people who are poor, lack confidence and feel unworthy and keep them trapped in that state so they can sell them more. But like you say, some of the greatest pleasures and paths to contentment are cheap or even free.

I've swapped all the self help books for lighthearted podcasts, comedy or talks on mindfulness. I'm a much more content and integrated person as a result.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I have wasted a massive part of my life feeling like I'm not good enough, constantly hustling and trying to "make it". I got caught up in the self help cult and horrible advice that suggests you should sleep less, work more and that anything else is a waste of time. At one point I was sleeping 4-5 hours, consuming dangerous amounts of caffeine and ephedrine to get stuff done. It fcuked up my health, led to a couple of relationships falling apart and I even had a few breakdowns and bouts of crippling depression.

But the worst part is looking back and seeing how many life experiences I allowed to pass by. I was constantly putting off travel, dates and recreation until I "made it" - a stage that never actually exists. Whenever I did go out with friends or away somewhere I was feeling guilty, like I was wasting time and never fully enjoyed it.

I've realised now that life is way to valuable to waste on a constant hustle and all it does is make you feel like you're not enough. I'm a big advocate of self improvement and chasing your goals, but it's essential to find balance and integrate it into your life, rather than letting it become your life.

After this hard lesson, I now sleep 8 hours every night and allow more time for recreation. Sometimes, I'll even play video games of an evening...just as long as I've done something productive earlier that day. I enjoy life so much more and feel more confident and assured. Ironically, I seem to get more done too. I'm able to focus more. I enjoy my work more and put quality before quantity.

100% agree, humans need hobbies. Self help gurus always say to give up video games, okay but what sre they going to do for recreation?

We are not robots who need to work 24/7

 

[deBrito]

I have wasted a massive part of my life feeling like I'm not good enough, constantly hustling and trying to "make it". I got caught up in the self help cult and horrible advice that suggests you should sleep less, work more and that anything else is a waste of time. At one point I was sleeping 4-5 hours, consuming dangerous amounts of caffeine and ephedrine to get stuff done. It fcuked up my health, led to a couple of relationships falling apart and I even had a few breakdowns and bouts of crippling depression.

I'm at this point. I'm young, trying to make it, sleeping bad, drinking tons of coffee, and i'm edgy all the time, but even tho i comprehend what you wrote, i cannot internalize it, it makes me think i'm being a pvssy, and man, the emotional rollercoaster is a thing that i face everyday, the same hour i'm happy, if something bad happens at work, the happiness goes away easily and anger comes into place in a heartbeat.

I don't know what depression is, i don't know what anxiety is, and i hear a lot of folks next to me saying they are affected by those stuff, and recently i started to think that somehow i maybe affected by these psychological issues aswell, but to me i label them as weakness so i svck it up and go on to another day.

Let's see how it works out.

 

[EyeBRollin]

100% agree, humans need hobbies. Self help gurus always say to give up video games, okay but what sre they going to do for recreation?

We are not robots who need to work 24/7

Honestly, video games are good for you to a degree. It’s one of the few things you can do that take 100% of focus away from females and your cell phone.

 

[Jariel]

I'm at this point. I'm young, trying to make it, sleeping bad, drinking tons of coffee, and i'm edgy all the time, but even tho i comprehend what you wrote, i cannot internalize it, it makes me think i'm being a pvssy, and man, the emotional rollercoaster is a thing that i face everyday, the same hour i'm happy, if something bad happens at work, the happiness goes away easily and anger comes into place in a heartbeat.

I know this all to well unfortunately. I've had a similar internal voice most of my life and the crazy mood swings. Too much caffeine (or other stimulants) are a big culprit here too. Even if you're mentally calm, they put your body in a state of stress. I had people ask me why I was on nervous or on edge, though I could never understand why.

One thing I also discovered was that I was getting out of breath a lot and struggling with exercise. My heart would race after minor cardio. I always put it down to poor cardio fitness, until I cut down the stimulants and found actually I was way fitter than I realised. The caffeine would help me gain a few more hours by skipping sleep, but everything I was doing was less effective than when I sleep properly.

So I'd recommend that as a starting point. Keep striving for your goals, but try doing it on less coffee and more sleep and I'm sure you'll see a positive difference.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Telling someone to work on your purpose is just generic bull **** used by red pill coaches as filler.

 

[Jariel]

Honestly, video games are good for you to a degree. It’s one of the few things you can do that take 100% of focus away from females and your cell phone.

Good point. Games get a bad rap, but they're no less productive than a lot of more common activities like social media, reality TV, cell phone addiction. Plus a lot of games now have very sophisticated writing and intelligent puzzles. Great for enhancing your problem solving skills, among other things.

 

[Lookatu]

Most dating coaches tell you to work on your purpose. Let's say you work 9-5 and your purpose is within this time and then it gets too much and you need to relax. The problem is that the point is not to work on your purpose to get abundance mindset, but your purpose have to be to become a high-value man. So regardless what you do, build high-quality frame through jobs, carrier, clothes, gym etc. Some of us have many things going on but still lack frame because we haven't understood this.

I think most guys can agree that you just shouldn't make a woman the center of your universe is all. You need to balance it out with other things in your life. I've seen several guys where women is the main thing in their lives and on their minds. They always think about them, wanna go out with them, have them control their lives and tell them how they should feel. Some get to a point where they are neglecting their friends, hobbies, etc all because of women.

This is not healthy and regardless of what purpose you have in your life now, women should only take up a small percentage of it in both your time, mental capacity, stress, etc.

 

[spikeanut]

Women are to supplement you, not complete you. As men, our focus needs to be on self improvement. As others have said, "purpose" is a merely a moniker for goals. Our goals as men are multifaceted; not just your career, or physicality, intellect, or game. It's all of the above, plus more. Once you start focusing on achieving your goals, the idea of "high value frame" becomes an unconscious after-thought. It merely becomes who you are and how you view the world. Women should never be the goal; but rather you may allow those that have earned their spot in your life to come along for the ride. If you strive to improve just 1% every day, you'll barely recognize the man you've become in a year.