No Approach Anxiety but Not Approaching?

[Jim88]

I realized that approach anxiety isn't my real issue. It's something else. Because if I am thinking about approaching a girl, my heart doesn't even start beating faster at all, so it's not anxiety. I usually end up just talking myself out of it somehow, because apparently a lot of the time I just don't feel like starting a conversation. Like today I saw this pretty college girl looking like she was looking for something on the ground, perfect, easy conversation starter, but I just didn't approach but I was not nervous at all, in fact I was yawning lol. I sat on a bench and thought about why I didn't approach and concluded that I just didn't feel like interrupting her day and starting a conversation. What's the cause of this? Is it just lack of ambition, or laziness? It could partly be because there's another woman I met online that I'm gonna meet up with soon and so I'm getting complacent even though I know I can't afford to. Part of it I think is that I don't want to make women uncomfortable with me trying to start a lame conversation. Almost every time I've been cold approached in public by someone (which for me has always been someone either selling something or trying to preach some religious ****) I get annoyed and don't like it, and usually try to walk away. So maybe subconsciously I'm assuming girls will feel the same way when I approach them. Somehow I gotta learn to be a bit more impulsive or something lol. Idk, how do I do this?

 

[deadmasterx]

It's not only about feeling your mind going blank or your ass sweating. If you want something, and you have something on your way, and because of this thing on your way you decide to give up it's also a way to display anxiety. It's something like "I'm afraid of my efforts being useless, so I'm not gonna even try". I understand you because I'm also this way. For me it's not hard to approach and talk to woman, for me it's hard to feel like going her way to do it.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

There is a reason for MM 3sec rule. Modern men aren't Alpha by and large. There are no John Wayne. The Duke. MM is dated but the general framework is solid. Dev your own gambit and routines. After chain gunning pickup for yrs it becomes 2nd nature. You do it. just cause. you recognize the patterns of attraction. When you push pull or better yet next.

The answer is likely low T and not knowing how to be a man. Generation of men raised by women. No father's or a useless one equivalent to furniture.

Unplug. Shoot your shot. Just go through the motions. Develop competence through consistency. Approach 3x everyday till dead or D falls off. It's pandemic. I am slinging D.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

you took to long to make the approach , so your mind came up with reasons not to ie ''dont wanna interrupt her day''
next time try the 3 second rule where you simply make the approach within 3 seconds, if you havent pull the trigger by then , move on.

 

[Jim88]

There is a reason for MM 3sec rule. Modern men aren't Alpha by and large. There are no John Wayne. The Duke. MM is dated but the general framework is solid. Dev your own gambit and routines. After chain gunning pickup for yrs it becomes 2nd nature. You do it. just cause. you recognize the patterns of attraction. When you push pull or better yet next.

The answer is likely low T and not knowing how to be a man. Generation of men raised by women. No father's or a useless one equivalent to furniture.

Unplug. Shoot your shot. Just go through the motions. Develop competence through consistency. Approach 3x everyday till dead or D falls off. It's pandemic. I am slinging D.

Probably right. I don't think I have low T (horny all the time lmao) but def had a f*cked up childhood as my mom pretty much dominated my dad all the time. I also think too much in general before acting and making decisions. I think I'm gonna just try to take more action in life in general and hopefully will get used to making quicker decisions.

 

[Jim88]

I guess, next time you're wanting to go up and talk to a girl, just picture her rolling out of bed and going straight to the toilet for her morning dump.

That oughta ease the tension a bit.

Lol, picturing that'd make me less likely to approach.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Probably right. I don't think I have low T (horny all the time lmao) but def had a f*cked up childhood as my mom pretty much dominated my dad all the time. I also think too much in general before acting and making decisions. I think I'm gonna just try to take more action in life in general and hopefully will get used to making quicker decisions.

I think psychology is trash but a JBP or Shawn T could be helpful resolving the issues of the past. A lot of people had no father or he was furniture.

 

[Serenity]

I realized that approach anxiety isn't my real issue. It's something else. Because if I am thinking about approaching a girl, my heart doesn't even start beating faster at all, so it's not anxiety. I usually end up just talking myself out of it somehow, because apparently a lot of the time I just don't feel like starting a conversation.

Approach anxiety is experienced in different ways by different people. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll experience the symptoms typical of a panic attack. It could be you'd feel more of that if you actually approached for real. The fact that you talk yourself out of it somehow means you're avoiding it, perhaps to not feel anxiety in the first place. It's still anxiety and avoidant behavior though.

It was the same for me. I didn't feel much, it was just a bunch of bad excuses and not taking any action. When I eventually did push through it and did it anyways then I'd get the typical feeling of anxiety, heart pounding, sweating etc. At least the first few times. Not long after I enjoyed the thrill of it and it gets you into a positive feedback loop. You do it, it's exciting and that makes you want to do it again.

You just need to kickstart yourself, no excuse, just fvcking do it!

 

[Jim88]

Approach anxiety is experienced in different ways by different people. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll experience the symptoms typical of a panic attack. It could be you'd feel more of that if you actually approached for real. The fact that you talk yourself out of it somehow means you're avoiding it, perhaps to not feel anxiety in the first place. It's still anxiety and avoidant behavior though.

It was the same for me. I didn't feel much, it was just a bunch of bad excuses and not taking any action. When I eventually did push through it and did it anyways then I'd get the typical feeling of anxiety, heart pounding, sweating etc. At least the first few times. Not long after I enjoyed the thrill of it and it gets you into a positive feedback loop. You do it, it's exciting and that makes you want to do it again.

You just need to kickstart yourself, no excuse, just fvcking do it!

I agree. Will try. I'm near a college campus with 10,000 people which is not super small but small enough I worry a little about getting a weird reputation lol. But I guess just starting conversations cant hurt lol. I've done it a few times but not nearly enough.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I agree. Will try. I'm near a college campus with 10,000 people which is not super small but small enough I worry a little about getting a weird reputation lol. But I guess just starting conversations cant hurt lol. I've done it a few times but not nearly enough.

The trick is to cultivate Being That guy. That part of being self conscious or giving a ****s what people or women think has been severed eons ago. I simply don't care. More over, I entirely disassociate in pickup from everything but running game. Like that single minded focus of being in a fight or skydiving. The Japanese have a word for it. Satori. I shoot my shot. I apologize to nobody. obviously exercise common sense. Don't be the creepy pua on campus. Don't be running a billion sets in public. Optics is huge. Become a socially calibrated fella. Good Game is subtle and discrete. you nor I are selling ebooks or phaggotry red pill everyone despite never seeing new vjj. You should get to the point you can pick up anywhere on campus and nobody notices but the girl you picked up. she should be under the impression it just happened. I highly recommend you get buddies who are natural. Puas tend to be weird more often than not and obsessed to the point of madness. Get to the point you just do it as second nature? How? Cut off phaggotry red pill and go get girls. not listening to geeks with a theory but actually has receipts. Actually has results. Approach 3x a day everywhere day or night. post back in a year. It will change your life.

 

[Jim88]

The trick is to cultivate Being That guy. That part of being self conscious or giving a ****s what people or women think has been severed eons ago. I simply don't care. More over, I entirely disassociate in pickup from everything but running game. Like that single minded focus of being in a fight or skydiving. The Japanese have a word for it. Satori. I shoot my shot. I apologize to nobody. obviously exercise common sense. Don't be the creepy pua on campus. Don't be running a billion sets in public. Optics is huge. Become a socially calibrated fella. Good Game is subtle and discrete. you nor I are selling ebooks or phaggotry red pill everyone despite never seeing new vjj. You should get to the point you can pick up anywhere on campus and nobody notices but the girl you picked up. she should be under the impression it just happened. I highly recommend you get buddies who are natural. Puas tend to be weird more often than not and obsessed to the point of madness. Get to the point you just do it as second nature? How? Cut off phaggotry red pill and go get girls. not listening to geeks with a theory but actually has receipts. Actually has results. Approach 3x a day everywhere day or night. post back in a year. It will change your life.

Thanks. What's a good approach, just like "hey I just saw you here and wanted to come say hi" or what? Also how do I approach girls in groups walking past me

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Thanks. What's a good approach, just like "hey I just saw you here and wanted to come say hi" or what? Also how do I approach girls in groups walking past me

I chat up baeeeee the way you would had you already beat the vjj rotten and busted on her face. Aloof... nonchalant. icy as ****. I don't do gimmicks or something from YouTube. Nothing mainstream. the focus on pickup lines is mainstream group think which is trash. It's more about a place of Being that guy. My style is more breaking rapport. it's abrupt. you can always calibrate after the fact. Same with push pull. Most guys are beta as ****. Too much pull. Too much provider and security. There should be a low level of threat (potentially) and no ambiguity on whether you will take your D out. I have gone direct or indirect. a combo of the two is more useful and advanced. I found indirect better success wise but again it should be man to woman as in, you are not apologetic about being a man and want hesitate to bend her over. Read MM. It's dated but the framework and general concept is gold. 3sec rule. Preselection dhv, etc. Acquire competence. not be creepy pua guy. Find the old rsd archive. Old Julien content. Polarity is money. More edge. Abrupt and abrasive in larger groups. Probability is crap even with good game. Prep to take Ls. Welcome to the Game. It's not the red pill where everyone is married playing house and trumpet game without any receipts. it is the school of hard knocks. You never stop learning. do your approaching everyday. Build that muscle. Be willing to lose the girls to get the girls. Not walking on egg shells. play to win. shoot your shot. Hot girls are usually in group. Usually mixed sets. YouTube James Tusk. They did a failure compilation. Chadds fail too. Yes more IOIs. More approach invitations. Play your hand. take your shot.

Meditate playboy. You will see the absolute worst of women. Don't associate your self value on getting women. A lot are ****ed in the head. Are a donut or broken condom away from expired. every set is practice. Look at your school year book. Time isn't pretty. Lots of fatties and single mom's. drop invites. Comply or bye. Don't fix what's broken. #nextset pull or next. Get to the point after pulling and going balls deep, you are opening sets on between exiting her bedroom and walk to the car.

Oneittus is ultimate phaggotry. Marriage is gay. It's fallback for women when Chad and Tyrone stop calling. Just remember hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.

Checkout after you've lived it up. Be warned. After the game and integration of pickup the idea of monogamy is comical at best. Happy hunting!

 

[Kotaix]

Intimate communication is not verbal. Positive intimate communication is when you and a girl look each either in the eyes and you both smile or otherwise show some kind of mutual attraction.

You don't establish contact by walking up to a cute girl and saying something. You use saying something to her as an excuse to look her in the eyes. What you say isn't all that important. You'll know right away if she likes you. And she's way more likely to be attracted of you're being sincere about your attraction instead of hiding it.

But ideally you start the approach visually first and then approach immediately if there is attraction.

Anxiety and excitement are the same thing, which one you actually feel just depends on if you're being negative or positive. Do you you ever feel the rush when you lock eyes with a woman? If you feel nothing at all then that's a much bigger problem than your lack of action approaching a woman. I've felt this way at times when my life had no direction. You need to fix whatever is causing the apathy in the first place.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

My fear when approaching is that it all works out and she wastes 3 years of my life.