How to Be a Gentleman... But Not a Nice Guy

TheCharmingGuy

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Everyone wants to be James Bond. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’ve all imagined ourselves being calm, debonair, and, well, suave just like Agent 007. And he’s not the only one: there are many men throughout our culture who are known for being kind, polite, and charming to women.
But how does one achieve this level of standard without falling into the dreaded “Nice Guy” category?
Here are a few ways to do this.
1. Never insult other men.
Many men out there think that making other men look worse will increase their chances with a woman. But this is an alarm bell in a girl’s brain: this guy is mean. And not in a sexy “bad boy” way either. Have respect for your fellow human beings.
2. Stay away from “inappropriate” humor.
If you’ve noticed, every cool guy in the movies who seems to pick up women effortlessly never actually makes “sex” jokes. That is what the other characters on the screen are for. The main character is a charming man that all the ladies love: not a perv. These jokes can be funny occasionally, but they hurt your image more than they help it.
3. Have a sense of humor.
#2 being said, you do need to be funny. Always have a few jokes up your sleeves, but not too many. You don’t want to be that guy that just jokes around all the time, because you’re in danger of being friendzoned.
4. Be “Old-Fashioned”
Girls love an old-fashioned guy. On your first date, agree to not be casual, and wear a suit coat. It can be a blazer or a sports coat if you like, or a tux. But just look neat and nice. Also, hold every door for the girl (without being intrusive or creepy). Girls, for some reason, absolutely fall to pieces when you hold the car door open for them while they climb in. Something about it makes them want to fall into your arms.

Have confidence, because low levels of confidence are the sort of thing that will land you in the friendzone!
 

Jariel

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Great insights. I've been noticing the past few years that more women are attracted to and even turned on by gentlemanly behaviour. So many guys are playing bad boy or wannabe gangsta roles these days that it's losing its appeal and everyone can see right through it. Whereas class and charm are so rare in society today.
 

jimwho

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I disagree with the Tux unless (she) invited you to an Ebony & Ivory affair. And please take me off your list of "everyone" wants to be James bond. I am calm polite and sometimes charming. But Suave and Debonair IMO can be cheesy. I can be a nice guy without being a Simp. I get your meaning pup, but don't speak for me, I can't do fake.
 

RickTheToad

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Everyone wants to be James Bond. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’ve all imagined ourselves being calm, debonair, and, well, suave just like Agent 007. And he’s not the only one: there are many men throughout our culture who are known for being kind, polite, and charming to women.
But how does one achieve this level of standard without falling into the dreaded “Nice Guy” category?
Here are a few ways to do this.
1. Never insult other men.
Many men out there think that making other men look worse will increase their chances with a woman. But this is an alarm bell in a girl’s brain: this guy is mean. And not in a sexy “bad boy” way either. Have respect for your fellow human beings.
2. Stay away from “inappropriate” humor.
If you’ve noticed, every cool guy in the movies who seems to pick up women effortlessly never actually makes “sex” jokes. That is what the other characters on the screen are for. The main character is a charming man that all the ladies love: not a perv. These jokes can be funny occasionally, but they hurt your image more than they help it.
3. Have a sense of humor.
#2 being said, you do need to be funny. Always have a few jokes up your sleeves, but not too many. You don’t want to be that guy that just jokes around all the time, because you’re in danger of being friendzoned.
4. Be “Old-Fashioned”
Girls love an old-fashioned guy. On your first date, agree to not be casual, and wear a suit coat. It can be a blazer or a sports coat if you like, or a tux. But just look neat and nice. Also, hold every door for the girl (without being intrusive or creepy). Girls, for some reason, absolutely fall to pieces when you hold the car door open for them while they climb in. Something about it makes them want to fall into your arms.

Have confidence, because low levels of confidence are the sort of thing that will land you in the friendzone!
Welcome SnoopDog... 1 and 3 are solid. 2 and 4 are iffy and depends on what's considered inappropriate. On 4, I hold the door open for nearly anyone as it's common courtesy. Suit on a first date? No. Just no.
 

TheCharmingGuy

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I disagree with the Tux unless (she) invited you to an Ebony & Ivory affair. And please take me off your list of "everyone" wants to be James bond. I am calm polite and sometimes charming. But Suave and Debonair IMO can be cheesy. I can be a nice guy without being a Simp. I get your meaning pup, but don't speak for me, I can't do fake.
Hey, I understand, dude! I have never met a girl who didn’t like a gentleman, but I have met many guys who don’t like to be them: and lots of those guys are still chick magnets.
This post was just targeted towards that specific group of guys who like to be that sort of person.
P.S. the suit is hypothetical. I saw a lot of people reacting to it and no it’s not necessary. I was thinking of a specific time, when I went dancing on the first date, with sushi afterwards. But if you’re doing really anything less fancy than that, dress-up is not necessary.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Everyone wants to be James Bond. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’ve all imagined ourselves being calm, debonair, and, well, suave just like Agent 007. And he’s not the only one: there are many men throughout our culture who are known for being kind, polite, and charming to women.
But how does one achieve this level of standard without falling into the dreaded “Nice Guy” category?
Here are a few ways to do this.
1. Never insult other men.
Many men out there think that making other men look worse will increase their chances with a woman. But this is an alarm bell in a girl’s brain: this guy is mean. And not in a sexy “bad boy” way either. Have respect for your fellow human beings.
2. Stay away from “inappropriate” humor.
If you’ve noticed, every cool guy in the movies who seems to pick up women effortlessly never actually makes “sex” jokes. That is what the other characters on the screen are for. The main character is a charming man that all the ladies love: not a perv. These jokes can be funny occasionally, but they hurt your image more than they help it.
3. Have a sense of humor.
#2 being said, you do need to be funny. Always have a few jokes up your sleeves, but not too many. You don’t want to be that guy that just jokes around all the time, because you’re in danger of being friendzoned.
4. Be “Old-Fashioned”
Girls love an old-fashioned guy. On your first date, agree to not be casual, and wear a suit coat. It can be a blazer or a sports coat if you like, or a tux. But just look neat and nice. Also, hold every door for the girl (without being intrusive or creepy). Girls, for some reason, absolutely fall to pieces when you hold the car door open for them while they climb in. Something about it makes them want to fall into your arms.

Have confidence, because low levels of confidence are the sort of thing that will land you in the friendzone!
Welcome!

This is def a good start (3 is a plus) but being a gentleman is so much deeper. It's not just daily actions that become part of who you are and how you behave but it is also a mindset. The mindset is a big part of that.

But yes, generally speaking gentlemen have a grace to them. An aura almost. But it radiates from within, first and foremost.

Again, welcome and enjoy the community. There are a lot of good men here.

Modern Man Advice
 

TheCharmingGuy

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Welcome!

This is def a good start (3 is a plus) but being a gentleman is so much deeper. It's not just daily actions that become part of who you are and how you behave but it is also a mindset. The mindset is a big part of that.

But yes, generally speaking gentlemen have a grace to them. An aura almost. But it radiates from within, first and foremost.

Again, welcome and enjoy the community. There are a lot of good men here.

Modern Man Advice
Yup, I just grazed the surface, but it might be a good place to start. I’m no expert, I just have an opinion.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Oh look, Modern Man Advice and The Charming Guy are here, thank God, what would we do without you two
 

TheCharmingGuy

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Can’t tell if that’s sarcasm, but if it isn’t, thank you very much!
 

wifehunter

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"How to Be a Gentleman... But Not a Nice Guy"

Or just be Godzilla. : )



Chicks dig Godzirrrra!
 

BackInTheGame78

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I disagree with the Tux unless (she) invited you to an Ebony & Ivory affair. And please take me off your list of "everyone" wants to be James bond. I am calm polite and sometimes charming. But Suave and Debonair IMO can be cheesy. I can be a nice guy without being a Simp. I get your meaning pup, but don't speak for me, I can't do fake.
WTF? A tux? Give me a break OP that sounds pretty lame. I mean maybe if you are going to some NYE event then sure. Otherwise, I dress however the fvck I want and if they don't like it they can kick fvcking rocks. Usually jeans, t-shirt, hiking shoes and hat. Turned backwards. I have no issues.

OP, Stop trying to impress them and start expecting them to impress you.
 
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