Girls from matriarchy family.

[manfrombelow]

My ex comes from a matriarchy family.

In her family, the mother always has the last call to almost everything, no matter how trivial.

Her father, a tall, handsome, ex-soldier (she inherited the beauty from him, not the mother), now only a shell of himself. He is weak, beta, and totally submissive to his wife, to the point before he does almost anything, he starts by asking the approval/permission from her. He is her b!tch. She is the boss. She would order him around to do this, to do that, correct him everytime he says something that she doesn't like. And the examples go on and on. You know what I mean.

Growing up in such an environment, my ex, a beautiful, classy, well-educated, well-mannered, unfortunately, developed for herself many unattractive traits that kill off my love for her bit by bit everytime they are displayed, such as being bossy, agressive, bad-tempered, nagging, controlling, confrontational... etc... just like her mother.

In short, everything had to be her way, or drama & argument would ensure. When I tried to stand my ground and assert my frame, she freaked out, called me names, verbally and physically attacked me, followed by a dramatic scene of her crying. All in all, she would expect me to be totally submissive to her the way her father was to her mother. And when I didn't allowed that to happen, she freaked out like a spoilt brat that just seen her request disallowed.

So, beta, weak, and submissive men are not only responsible for their own misery and pain, but also their daughters', in their potential relationships with otherr men in the future.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My ex comes from a matriarchy family.

In her family, the mother always has the last call to almost everything, no matter how trivial.

Her father, a tall, handsome, ex-soldier (she inherited the beauty from him, not the mother), now only a shell of himself. He is weak, beta, and totally submissive to his wife, to the point before he does almost anything, he starts by asking the approval/permission from her. He is her b!tch. She is the boss. She would order him around to do this, to do that, correct him everytime he says something that she doesn't like. And the examples go on and on. You know what I mean.

Growing up in such an environment, my ex, a beautiful, classy, well-educated, well-mannered, unfortunately, developed for herself many unattractive traits that kill off my love for her bit by bit everytime they are displayed, such as being bossy, agressive, bad-tempered, nagging, controlling, confrontational... etc... just like her mother.

In short, everything had to be her way, or drama & argument would ensure. When I tried to stand my ground and assert my frame, she freaked out, called me names, verbally and physically attacked me, followed by a dramatic scene of her crying. All in all, she would expect me to be totally submissive to her the way her father was to her mother. And when I didn't allowed that to happen, she freaked out like a spoilt brat that just seen her request disallowed.

So, beta, weak, and submissive men are not only responsible for their own misery and pain, but also their daughters', in their potential relationships with otherr men in the future.

He likely came to her as a dominant physical specimen and his love for her and desire to please her cause him to be this extremely beta and submissive man over time. It's the treatment. IF one allows himself to be in that frame, it will create that type of mindset.

 

[derby1]

Something happened from the 1970s that completely B4tched men up,

I also dont remember many fatherless kids when I left high school in 2000. Yet it is now the biggest virus to hit humanity, single mother households

 

[manfrombelow]

While observing their dynamics, I could feel a clear sense of dread at a certain level from the mother to a father. Perhaps she hated the fact he was submissive to her?

Poor guy. He always acted like a small puppy around his bossy wife. That's the most unattrative thing a man could to his woman, and to himself as a man, especially.

 

[manfrombelow]

these people (men AND women) get conditioned slowly over time by their abusive partner until they've become totally dependent on validation from that partner. Its operant conditioning. They no longer have an individual identity, they've just adopted the identity and mental economy of the abuser.

Exactly, the poor guy no longer had an identity for himself as a man.

For example, if he said something, and his wife dismissed that on the spot, 9 out of 10 he would correct it himself to please her. Right in front of her daughter and I.

Fvck. I'd rather live and die alone than live a life like that.

 

[manfrombelow]

As much as I was disgusted by the mother's behaviours, I don't really blame her for being a woman.

Because she was also CONDITIONED by her husband to behave that way. He allowed this sh!tshow to happen to himself by being submissive to her.

If her husband always maintained his frame, this would not have happened.

Not to this degree.

Not to the point his daughter grew up and expected every other guy would please her the way his father pleased her mother, and eventually shooed away as many men as possible.

 

[manfrombelow]

So, to fvcking sum it up, as a man you have the duty to maintain your frame, not only for your own sake, but also others'.

No matter if you're men or women. If you don't love and respect yourself first by drawing boundaries, no one else will. As much cliché as this sounds.

 

[Bokanovsky]

My ex comes from a matriarchy family.

In her family, the mother always has the last call to almost everything, no matter how trivial.

Her father, a tall, handsome, ex-soldier (she inherited the beauty from him, not the mother), now only a shell of himself. He is weak, beta, and totally submissive to his wife, to the point before he does almost anything, he starts by asking the approval/permission from her. He is her b!tch. She is the boss. She would order him around to do this, to do that, correct him everytime he says something that she doesn't like. And the examples go on and on. You know what I mean.

Growing up in such an environment, my ex, a beautiful, classy, well-educated, well-mannered, unfortunately, developed for herself many unattractive traits that kill off my love for her bit by bit everytime they are displayed, such as being bossy, agressive, bad-tempered, nagging, controlling, confrontational... etc... just like her mother.

In short, everything had to be her way, or drama & argument would ensure. When I tried to stand my ground and assert my frame, she freaked out, called me names, verbally and physically attacked me, followed by a dramatic scene of her crying. All in all, she would expect me to be totally submissive to her the way her father was to her mother. And when I didn't allowed that to happen, she freaked out like a spoilt brat that just seen her request disallowed.

So, beta, weak, and submissive men are not only responsible for their own misery and pain, but also their daughters', in their potential relationships with otherr men in the future.

The problem is that most western families are like that nowadays. Either that or divorced parents, which means that the woman is raised by a single mom who brainwashes her to hate her father (and by extension all men). Families with a strong father figure are few and far in between.

 

[bat soup]

My ex comes from a matriarchy family.

In her family, the mother always has the last call to almost everything, no matter how trivial.

Her father, a tall, handsome, ex-soldier (she inherited the beauty from him, not the mother), now only a shell of himself. He is weak, beta, and totally submissive to his wife, to the point before he does almost anything, he starts by asking the approval/permission from her. He is her b!tch. She is the boss. She would order him around to do this, to do that, correct him everytime he says something that she doesn't like. And the examples go on and on. You know what I mean.

Growing up in such an environment, my ex, a beautiful, classy, well-educated, well-mannered, unfortunately, developed for herself many unattractive traits that kill off my love for her bit by bit everytime they are displayed, such as being bossy, agressive, bad-tempered, nagging, controlling, confrontational... etc... just like her mother.

In short, everything had to be her way, or drama & argument would ensure. When I tried to stand my ground and assert my frame, she freaked out, called me names, verbally and physically attacked me, followed by a dramatic scene of her crying. All in all, she would expect me to be totally submissive to her the way her father was to her mother. And when I didn't allowed that to happen, she freaked out like a spoilt brat that just seen her request disallowed.

So, beta, weak, and submissive men are not only responsible for their own misery and pain, but also their daughters', in their potential relationships with otherr men in the future.

Sounds like she could be fun for a short time, but a nightmare in the long run.

I don't think you can fix women like this.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sounds like she could be fun for a short time, but a nightmare in the long run.

I don't think you can fix women like this.

Shouldn't even want to try. If her example is feasting on what was a strong independent man and reducing him to a pitiable position. Then that's what she knows as normal.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

In short, everything had to be her way, or drama & argument would ensure. When I tried to stand my ground and assert my frame, she freaked out, called me names, verbally and physically attacked me, followed by a dramatic scene of her crying. All in all, she would expect me to be totally submissive to her the way her father was to her mother. And when I didn't allowed that to happen, she freaked out like a spoilt brat that just seen her request disallowed.

More red flags than a Russian communist parade during the Soviet era dude.

Sounds like she has big daddy issues (because dad wasn't there to show here how to act like a real "lady", but mom did show her instead the big boy feminazi pants...)
Cuz he was more or less absent in that home (Not physically, but mentally) as the submissive beta and not a real father figure to her.

To me it doesn't feel like a healthy relationship on the long term but toxic as fuuuark. She will never cave in and let you lead.
"Damaged goods" is what she is I would claim because of her messed up parents.

Get the fu'ck out at the next exit when you can.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Sounds like she could be fun for a short time, but a nightmare in the long run.

I don't think you can fix women like this.

I agree with you.
The fix is to end it fast.

 

[manfrombelow]

Cuz he was more or less absent in that home (Not physically, but mentally) as the submissive beta and not a real father figure to her.

This analogy is perfect. I think the mental absence of the father figure can do more severe damage than the physical absence.

 

[manfrombelow]

Shouldn't even want to try. If her example is feasting on what was a strong independent man and reducing him to a pitiable position. Then that's what she knows as normal.

Exactly.

I mean. This is not even about being "right" and "wrong". It's about what is being perceived as "NORMAL". And in my ex's case, the figure of a man being 100% submissive to his woman was what perceived as normal in her mindset. She was raised in a family like that. She was conditioned to believe it is normal (why wouldn't it be normal if my father acts like that with my mother since I was young until now?)

So, with this mindset, whenever things didn't go her way, she was the victim, and I (or whoever her man is) was the bad guy. She acted normal, I did not. She's freaked out because I made her, not because she chose on. The story went on like that.

So fvck it, I loved her, but I gotta get out to save myself first.

 

[deadmasterx]

David Deida explains about that in his book "The Way of the Superior Man".

It works for both boys and girls, but basically the girl will mirror herself on her mom, and the boys on their fathers. Single mom kids, especially boys, will get way more affected by this than girls, since they will develop a "feminine approval seeking behaviour" that will constantly fight against his masculine energy. He wants to be a man, he is unhappy because he doesn't act like one, but at the same time he doesn't know how to do it because everything he was taught was how to be like a girl.

Now coming to this girl's situation, I don't believe that it's only because she's more in her masculine energy (which means trying to take control, being the one who rules), but she's also inspiring herself in her parent's relationship and trying to apply it on you (since it's the idea of relationship that she was raised up with).

So it's not just a matter of her father being the woman in the house (if he was a guy with more feminine energy, it would be totally alright) but the disrespectful and unloving way that the relationship has been carried on.

One good example is that: if her father was a guy in his feminine, while her mother was in her masculine, supposing that she is a girl in her masculine too, she wouldn't be freaking out because you don't want to be her puppy. She would literally act like a man and go away. "It's either this way or no way". What it seems to me is that it's simply a matter of a girl who had a ****ty example of what relationships should be like acting ****ty. Not entirely her fault, but she surely must fix that asap.

 

[manfrombelow]

@deadmasterx

Very wise words, especially for a very young man such as yourself. Thank you.

 

[inquisitor]

these people (men AND women) get conditioned slowly over time by their abusive partner until they've become totally dependent on validation from that partner. Its operant conditioning. They no longer have an individual identity, they've just adopted the identity and mental economy of the abuser.

A modern professor of psychology once said, "People don't have ideas; ideas have people."

 

[bat soup]

Exactly.

I mean. This is not even about being "right" and "wrong". It's about what is being perceived as "NORMAL". And in my ex's case, the figure of a man being 100% submissive to his woman was what perceived as normal in her mindset. She was raised in a family like that. She was conditioned to believe it is normal (why wouldn't it be normal if my father acts like that with my mother since I was young until now?)

So, with this mindset, whenever things didn't go her way, she was the victim, and I (or whoever her man is) was the bad guy. She acted normal, I did not. She's freaked out because I made her, not because she chose on. The story went on like that.

So fvck it, I loved her, but I gotta get out to save myself first.

I just couldn't get along with a woman like that. It would irritate me too much.

 

[MoMoses]

Her father, a tall, handsome, ex-soldier (she inherited the beauty from him, not the mother), now only a shell of himself. He is weak, beta, and totally submissive to his wife, to the point before he does almost anything, he starts by asking the approval/permission from her. He is her b!tch. She is the boss. She would order him around to do this, to do that, correct him everytime he says something that she doesn't like. And the examples go on and on. You know what I mean.

"Sexless marriage" - the movie

You just wrote the screenplay

Also..

she inherited the beauty from him, not the mother

Am I the only one who had a good laugh over this one?

I will never understand why guys let things get out of hand this way. This morning I read an article in the newspaper about a guys who "wants to be the spokesperson for a male #MeToo movement because he got beaten up by his borderline wife for years and years. He was proud that he stepped up and is now proudly telling his story to help other men who are in abussive relationships.

What..The... F?

He had to dump that biitch and look for another woman. I can understand that it may be difficult when you are a victim and you have this whole victim mentality shiit going on. I'm no shrink, but so many people struggle with this, so it must be hard. But damn.. we are talking about not letting you disrespect you by your girl, this is even worse. Just walk away from women like this.

 

[inquisitor]

I just couldn't get along with a woman like that. It would irritate me too much.

I think the number of women like that is just gonna keep growing by the day, as they continue to persist in their self-servient ideologues, affecting more and more families, without anyone ready to tell them that they're actually not doing it right.