1 hour on the phone. What next?

[Modern Man Advice]

I matched on Tinder with a 48 years old woman one week ago, and we have texted each other every day. (I am 50.) She seems to be quite interested mainly due to the status gap between us.

Yesterday, we talked on the phone for the first time, and the conversation took 1 hour. During the conversation, I suggested her several times to go to sleep since she had to get up very early, but she kept on the conversation.

I also suggested her to meet her in person, and she replied that that is possible and that we should talk more times to get to know each other better.

My idea is to be now a few days without contacting her, to keep mystery and suspense on. However, I am not very sure whether that is best move to follow. What would you advise me?

Stop it. Do not get to know someone over the phone. If she is not willing to invest her time and make an actual effort to meet you and get to know you in person, she is simply not worth it. Move on mate.

We've said it a few times here and to the men we coach 1 on 1, texting is only to be used for simple and briefs exchanges (banter, sexualizing a convo, etc) with the goal to set up a date. That is it.

Talk to several women and try to set up dates with all of them. Weed out any low-interest women, this includes women that want to feel "more comfortable" with you so they need to have a pen pal.

Do not engage in a pen pal situation. Ever. Value your time a bit more.

Modern Man Advice

 

[manfrombelow]

OP, with all due respect, the phone is for setting up dates, aka luring the fox out of its cabe ONLY, not for talking or chitchat.

Remember, you don't wanna be her penpal. You wanna penetrate her instead.

And you penetrate her by going to real dates to see and seduce her, not by talking for one hour on the phone.

 

[manfrombelow]

This is to let you know how the situation has evolved.

Instead of giving her no reply, I followed EyeBRollin's advice of texting her: "Let’s save our conversation for the date." She again accused me of pressuring her, and added that our date may take some time to occur and that meanwhile we may loose contact with each other.

I responded with: "Whether or not our date takes long to occur only depends on your degree of interest."

She replied saying that I am being imposing and that she fears what comes next as an imposition to continue talking.

This time I shall not give her any reply.

So she played the victim card by accusing that you "pressured" her. While in reality, all you did was merely offering her an invitation to go out with you and that you were no longer interested in talking with her on the phone.

Well, it means only one thing: She doesn't want to go out with you. It's simple as that.

When people want to see you, they'll find a way. They they don't want to see you, they'll find a reason.

There's nothing in between.

 

[bat soup]

So she played the victim card by accusing that you "pressured" her. While in reality, all you did was merely offering her an invitation to go out with you and that you were no longer interested in talking with her on the phone.

Well, it means only one thing: She doesn't want to go out with you. It's simple as that.

When people want to see you, they'll find a way. They they don't want to see you, they'll find a reason.

There's nothing in between.

Yeah, all of this BS is just her manipulative way of trying to get the guy to continue giving her attention whilst not meeting up. So let's review: she's selfish, manipulative, dishonest and not sexually attracted to him. But she'd love to spend another hour on the phone flapping her gums.

 

[2Rocky]

I know this is an old post and the timewaster never made a date.
If you are both in the same city you should go for a meetup that same week or the next week at latest.

I have been in a situation where there was some distance and had made a date to tentatively meet up in 3 months when she was coming through my area.

We did do multiple phone calls during that time and I was able to get her to come visit me a month early for the weekend. This was not your "run of the mill" date.

Looking back this was a much more advanced seduction than I had any right to pull off. But she was interested and followed through.

 

[bat soup]

I know this is an old post and the timewaster never made a date.
If you are both in the same city you should go for a meetup that same week or the next week at latest.

I have been in a situation where there was some distance and had made a date to tentatively meet up in 3 months when she was coming through my area.

We did do multiple phone calls during that time and I was able to get her to come visit me a month early for the weekend. This was not your "run of the mill" date.

Looking back this was a much more advanced seduction than I had any right to pull off. But she was interested and followed through.

I've done that as well, but that's a situation where a person actually is interested in meeting and makes it happen at the earliest opportunity.

 

[Grinderman]

She have just replied accusing me of pressuring her

Recognize when you are talking to a structured cvnt. Nip it in the bud asap. You do not want to waste time, money or energy meeting a cvnt in person. She did you a favor revealing herself on the phone to you. Get into the habit of nipping things early. Some are not worth being alive and should be treated like shiite on your shoe. Get it off asap.

Yesterday, we talked on the phone for the first time, and the conversation took 1 hour.

Sunday it was my dear ol' mum's birthday. Haven't seen her in an age. Sure as hell didn't stay on the phone an hour with her. Some random prospect speaking an hour on the phone? Not a fvcking hope.

I suggested her several times to go to sleep since she had to get up very early, but she kept on the conversation.

No, you make it clear that you have to go. Don't worry about her getting up early or what ever, your not her father. You are a busy man though. Say you got to go and that's it.

 

[2Rocky]

I've done that as well, but that's a situation where a person actually is interested in meeting and makes it happen at the earliest opportunity.

And that's what I was trying to illustrate...

 

[RedBeardless]

Do you guys have any resources on how these text or calls are supposed to go? Even a redacted text log or call transcript type reference. I had been in an LTR for nearly 2 years so my habits are to just chill and talk. This is wrong. But I also have completely lost the ability to plant the seed of interest and water it with conversation meanwhile getting to some sort of actionable outcome. The positive statement of what to do and what can work would be helpful for me, others, and the OP I believe, so it is requested.

 

[manfrombelow]

Do you guys have any resources on how these text or calls are supposed to go?

They are supposed to end with an invitation to go out from your side.

If she agrees to meet, good, give her a specific date & time.

If she doesn't, you act cool and tell her to let you know when she can meet, and stop the conversation saying you gotta go.

In all cases, calls and texts are ONLY to ask girls out. The seduction can only start during a real meetup, not during a phone call session.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Do you guys have any resources on how these text or calls are supposed to go? Even a redacted text log or call transcript type reference. I had been in an LTR for nearly 2 years so my habits are to just chill and talk. This is wrong. But I also have completely lost the ability to plant the seed of interest and water it with conversation meanwhile getting to some sort of actionable outcome. The positive statement of what to do and what can work would be helpful for me, others, and the OP I believe, so it is requested.

For me -

No texting. Don't text at all. Only exceptions are if it is something logistical related to an upcoming date. No text conversations. No "checking in." No funny pictures. Cut all that shvt out. Let her feel the silence.

Pick up the phone and call her to ask her out. Then ghost until the date. Once she's chasing me between dates and initiating contact, I'll allow phone calls if they press me for it. They text to get a hit of you... like a drug. Give them a sample. Keep phone calls short - 15-20 minutes maximum. You can do 30 when she's your girlfriend. NO hour long phone calls!!

Do not discuss serious topics over the phone. Use it for playful banter. You want to keep her feeling good. Then end the conversation before she does. She'll continue to chase...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My response:

"Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Let's cancel the lunch date. I'll catch up with you later."

Remember this:

Highly interested women won't establish time constraints, especially during the early phase of courtship.

Yes...they would simply get fired from work apparently according to your logic. If the date is during her lunchbreak why would the expectation be other than she would have less than an hour due to having to return to work?

The better question is why is the date set up during the day on her lunchbreak instead of after work? 50km is nothing...its like 30 miles. That's like a 30 or 40 minute drive.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She have just replied accusing me of pressuring her, and asks whether we will not talk until our date. To be consistent, I shall give her no reply.

This sounds like a trainwreck.

 

[bat soup]

Do you guys have any resources on how these text or calls are supposed to go? Even a redacted text log or call transcript type reference. I had been in an LTR for nearly 2 years so my habits are to just chill and talk. This is wrong. But I also have completely lost the ability to plant the seed of interest and water it with conversation meanwhile getting to some sort of actionable outcome. The positive statement of what to do and what can work would be helpful for me, others, and the OP I believe, so it is requested.

You have to just get to the point. Do you want to meet up at X place and time? If the answer is no or some bullshiiiiiit excuse, forget her and move on.

 

[2Rocky]

Do you guys have any resources on how these text or calls are supposed to go? Even a redacted text log or call transcript type reference. I had been in an LTR for nearly 2 years so my habits are to just chill and talk. This is wrong. But I also have completely lost the ability to plant the seed of interest and water it with conversation meanwhile getting to some sort of actionable outcome. The positive statement of what to do and what can work would be helpful for me, others, and the OP I believe, so it is requested.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

It's a waste of time to talk to women that don't want to meet up. Cut that bs off quickly.

Exactly. It's so simple really, but surprising how many guys miss this simple point. They think they're 'getting somewhere' with endless texting back and forth or long phone conversations etc, then they come on this forum crying about how the girl always makes an excuse for not being able to meet up.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Exactly. It's so simple really, but surprising how many guys miss this simple point. They think they're 'getting somewhere' with endless texting back and forth or long phone conversations etc, then they come on this forum crying about how the girl always makes an excuse for not being able to meet up.

Yup...women who want to see you will do so. Those that don't won't. Women that put hoops to jump through are time wasters.

 

[FuzzX]

I matched on Tinder with a 48 years old woman one week ago, and we have texted each other every day. (I am 50.) She seems to be quite interested mainly due to the status gap between us.

Yesterday, we talked on the phone for the first time, and the conversation took 1 hour. During the conversation, I suggested her several times to go to sleep since she had to get up very early, but she kept on the conversation.

I also suggested her to meet her in person, and she replied that that is possible and that we should talk more times to get to know each other better.

My idea is to be now a few days without contacting her, to keep mystery and suspense on. However, I am not very sure whether that is best move to follow. What would you advise me?

She's a little old for you bro, don't you think someone in their 30's or late 30's is more your speed? My ex-boss was 50 and he married a girl in her twenties. This 48 y/o is gonna be DESPERATE to be with you, I would expect a HIGH level of interest even if you were the most boring dude on earth.

 

[Ricky]

Recognize when you are talking to a structured cvnt. Nip it in the bud asap. You do not want to waste time, money or energy meeting a cvnt in person. She did you a favor revealing herself on the phone to you. Get into the habit of nipping things early. Some are not worth being alive and should be treated like shiite on your shoe. Get it off asap.



Sunday it was my dear ol' mum's birthday. Haven't seen her in an age. Sure as hell didn't stay on the phone an hour with her. Some random prospect speaking an hour on the phone? Not a fvcking hope.



No, you make it clear that you have to go. Don't worry about her getting up early or what ever, your not her father. You are a busy man though. Say you got to go and that's it.

Guys i am a bit of an oldtimer here but was retired from the game for years. What do you mean by structure cvnt. I obviously know what the second word means but by structured what are we saying?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Guys i am a bit of an oldtimer here but was retired from the game for years. What do you mean by structure cvnt. I obviously know what the second word means but by structured what are we saying?

I think he means the woman is very stiff and inflexible when it comes to how she does stuff and she expects guys to follow her rules.