As men, we dictate the terms of the mating dance. I establish the communication pattern early as it sets the tone of the relationship. Phone use is the biggest downfall for men. I 90% agree with Doc Love and Corey Wayne here, but I've modified it through my own trials and tribulations. The main principle is that if a woman is initiating contact regularly, she is investing work and feelings into you. She cannot be dropping you if she is initiating. This is how I establish that pattern:
Step 1: Before the First Date
I set up my dates directly through whatever dating app I'm using. During COVID I'm pulling straight from OLD. I try to set the date up for no more than a week out, preferably only 3-4 days away. I leave her my number once the date is established. Some women request a phone call before meeting. I oblige for a 15 minute or so call as it is still forward progress off the app so I'll take it. After about 15 minutes or so of banter, I'll ask again for the date and get it set up before getting off. Since the date is only 3-4 days away, I usually don't find women chatting it up in this time period.
Step 2: After the First Date
Provided I liked her, I wait 5-9 days to call for the second date. That's 5-9 days of radio science. The goal is to see if she breaks the silence and starts chasing early. Some women will text you that night to say they made it home - this doesn't count. Begin the count on the next day. We're looking for a "hey how are you" or "good morning" text from her in the 5-9 days. If she does that, I'll respond and use that incoming opportunity to set up date #2, rather than wait the 5-9 days.
If she doesn't reach out at all, there's three explanations:
-She wasn't feeling you on the first date and won't even agree to a 2nd date or call you back (~50% or so likelihood)
-She is structured and will give you some attitude for waiting so long. She may have liked you but is a control freak that expects you to call, thus her interest has dissipated (~30% likelihood)
-She will be excited to hear from you and accept the second date (~20% likelihood)
Step 3: Once the Second Date is Established
The girls who initiated after the first date will continue to initiate with another "good morning" or "hey how are you" before date #2. From here it is a judgement call from how far away the date is. If it is 2-3 days from the next date, I send the following text exchange:
Her: Hey how are you?
Me: Well. How are you?
Her: I'm good.
Me: Glad to hear. Can you do me a favor?
Her: Yes?
Me: The favor: I appreciate the texts but lets save the chatting for our date
Her: Um ok (or something of that nature)
She'll ask about it on the date, but she'll show up. Her hamster wheel will spin and she will ask all her girlfriends what that means. If the date is 4+ days away, I use this line instead:
The favor: I appreciate the texts but prefer phone calls
She's initiating, so she'll comply. You're giving the green light for her to call you. Keep the phone conversations under 30 minutes. 15-20 minutes is ideal. Only initiate phone calls with her if 3 days of radio silence from her and the date is further than 3 days away. That will be your frequency going forward. They are on the hook and won't go anywhere. Rinse and repeat steps 2 & 3 for these girls for all subsequent dates. Always use the next incoming text (excluding the "made it home") after a date to set up the next date.
For the chicks that don't initiate that accepted the second date, they will initiate the day of or day before the 2nd date to confirm if it is still happening. For only them, proceed to step 4
Step 4: After the Second Date
Wait another 5-9 days to call for date #3. 5-9 days is your frequency until they break the silence like the other girls did in Step 2. Rinse and repeat until she initiates, turns down dates, or doesn't call you back.
You have to establish the pattern from the beginning because you cannot undo or change it for the rest of your life knowing the girl.
