Anyone Else Unattracted to Women Who have Traveled?

[SirBigBell]

This is an interesting viewpoint.

To me however, I do not feel threatened, challenged, or inadequate by a woman who blows her savings and lives check to check so she can take Taj Mahal selfies, or a woman who is reliant on a social media income stream that will dry up as soon as younger, hotter, simp-funded women edge her out.

Occasionally traveling for vacation (ie. being a tourist) is not the same as a traveling lifestyle -- only the latter affords the depth of perspective, and the interesting stories that a worldly jet-setter has. Beyond schooling years, this is often done at the expense of building financial stability -- and it's also often done to postpone real adulthood.

The OP seems to place higher value on worldliness, hence why he feels inadequate by well-traveled women. For someone like me, who places higher value on wealth-creation and self-optimization, I actually look down my nose at someone who spends all their time and money on traveling, and avoids true responsibility.

There's a great passage in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fvck by Mark Manson, where he relates that seeing a new country, culture, and society for the first time is a life-changing, perspective-altering experience. But seeing a new country every month, for months and months, always on a flight to the next new place, removes that novelty of experience. The 2nd country is new and different from the 1st, but the 50th is pretty much the same as the 49th, and you've grown weary of seeing the 51st.

And as human beings, we all yearn to belong, to have a place to settle and call home. It's as innate as our desire to seek connection and share our lives with others. Constantly shifting and changing and moving is actually bad for the soul. Putting down roots and establishing yourself is how you attain, and grow, your status in society as a man.

I'm at an age where I've witnessed where the globe-trotting lifestyle leads once the traveler reaches mid-30's and life becomes more expensive. One guy who comes to mind is always hitting friends up for loans. Yeah, maybe he'll die with some interesting memories, maybe he's got a cool travel diary, but I'm not envious of that. He's broke.

I absolutely like how you have constructed and articulated your argument there.

I agree with you on the aspect of the folly of travelling to run away from responsibility and long term wealth growth. I also concur that travelling benefits have a saturation threshold.

I think the key here is balance. Too much of anything never does any good. Travelling is not exempted from this adage. Additionally the underlying motive behind the serial travelling has to be established and understood by both the traveller and third parties. Travelling for escapism from responsibility is detrimental. Travelling for egotistic (social media influencing) reasons is nonsensical.

Nexting a woman purely on the basis of her travel mileage is also not very smart. The traveller community is much smaller than the non-travelling majority community. There are billions of stay-at-home people who struggle to build wealth. Minimising travel to focus on wealth creation is very good, but its no guarantee that those wealth creation efforts will succeed. Many many people are on their purpose from Jan to Dec but still spin their tires and are up to their necks in debt. They however deserve utmost respect for trying, sticking at it and taking responsibility for their life paths.

 

[jaymbrs]

Good reads from all angles. Which was the purpose of my post, to read you DJs viewpoints. I'm new to OLD. Finally gave in with Covid really jacking things up for me and not being an unattractive guy, figured why not.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I'm from the US and not referring to those who have traveled domestically. Trying out this online dating thing and geez all these women who have been to places like Egypt, Asia, South America, etc. It's almost as if that's where the bar is set. Is it me or does that not come off as that?

Hey brother,

We're sure to get some heat on this but we DGAF (insert shrug).

Unlike the opinions of other men here, who also find it "unattractive" or "intimidating", the issue is on you, mate. Don't get shut off because someone else is actually living life and investing in their growth. Or those who say men who are growing their net worth do not have time to travel. All that is saying to us, is they value money more than they do themselves. See, here is a thing about money. It's worthless, its paper, and comes and goes. You will not remember how much money you made in your life while you are on your death bed. We promise you that.

You can still make money, invest, grow a business, etc, etc and travel (we do and so A LOT of other people). Travelling is one of the best investments you can make for yourself. And a lot, A LOT of people see the value of it and have the cojones to invest in travelling. Those do not, simply get to live a life boxed in their own reality. Meaning, they haven't expanded their horizons of life. They see life through the own insipid daily life full of the "good old same" and often find justification for it and like you feel bitter and jealous of others and simply call it "unattractive".

We are not saying travel just to show it on your social media page. Most people, especially women, live a "highlight" life and don't make the money they are spending on travelling, but rather comes from daddy/mommy/sugardaddy/etc. They don't count, they travel to keep a status quo and are simply empty all around. But, those that travel to experience the world, expand their horizons and visions, and push the boundaries of their own realities by experiencing firsthand other cultures and traditions will always live a more rounded life. One that can truly help you understand life, happiness, and more importantly you as a man. A life that humbles you because your problems suddenly become insignificant when you see how other people suffer or on the other hand live a meaningful life (whatever that means to you).

So back to your point, if you are "unattracted" or "intimidated" by people that are in a constant search to push themselves, that is on you mate. You are the one living a piss poor life.

Do not take this as an offense, take it with a grain of salt in the hope you see the positive message we are trying to deliver. Don't get too butthurt over the truth brother. The reason we felt compelled to respond to your post is that we disagree with most men's responses here and we feel the need to provide a different perspective. One that can actually help you grow. Because we care about how men live their lives.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

 

[SirBigBell]

Hey brother,

We're sure to get some heat on this but we DGAF (insert shrug).

Unlike the opinions of other men here, who also find it "unattractive" or "intimidating", the issue is on you, mate. Don't get shut off because someone else is actually living life and investing in their growth. Or those who say men who are growing their net worth do not have time to travel. All that is saying to us, is they value money more than they do themselves. See, here is a thing about money. It's worthless, its paper, and comes and goes. You will not remember how much money you made in your life while you are on your death bed. We promise you that.

You can still make money, invest, grow a business, etc, etc and travel (we do and so A LOT of other people). Travelling is one of the best investments you can make for yourself. And a lot, A LOT of people see the value of it and have the cojones to invest in travelling. Those do not, simply get to live a life boxed in their own reality. Meaning, they haven't expanded their horizons of life. They see life through the own insipid daily life full of the "good old same" and often find justification for it and like you feel bitter and jealous of others and simply call it "unattractive".

We are not saying travel just to show it on your social media page. Most people, especially women, live a "highlight" life and don't make the money they are spending on travelling, but rather comes from daddy/mommy/sugardaddy/etc. They don't count, they travel to keep a status quo and are simply empty all around. But, those that travel to experience the world, expand their horizons and visions, and push the boundaries of their own realities by experiencing firsthand other cultures and traditions will always live a more rounded life. One that can truly help you understand life, happiness, and more importantly you as a man. A life that humbles you because your problems suddenly become insignificant when you see how other people suffer or on the other hand live a meaningful life (whatever that means to you).

So back to your point, if you are "unattracted" or "intimidated" by people that are in a constant search to push themselves, that is on you mate. You are the one living a piss poor life.

Do not take this as an offense, take it with a grain of salt in the hope you see the positive message we are trying to deliver. Don't get too butthurt over the truth brother. The reason we felt compelled to respond to your post is that we disagree with most men's responses here and we feel the need to provide a different perspective. One that can actually help you grow. Because we care about how men live their lives.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

Top notch response

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm from the US and not referring to those who have traveled domestically. Trying out this online dating thing and geez all these women who have been to places like Egypt, Asia, South America, etc. It's almost as if that's where the bar is set. Is it me or does that not come off as that?

Seems all females travel these days. That's all they want to do. It's like they have ADD or ADHD and cannot sit still and relax.

 

[Barrister]

OLD has a lot of commonalities and the fact that some of these b1tches brag about $hit in their profiles doesn't do squat to see if people are actually compatible or not. Who cares how many countries you've traveled to, how many languages you know, how many marathon's you've ran? How does that translate to any connection? It may provide a commonality to talk about and you may end up with an "activity partner or friend" but that's about it with no guarantees.

Some of these b1tches that tout their accomplishments probably have some sort of NPD(narcissistic personality disorder) too.

When it comes to female profiles - "I traveled to xx countries", "I love tacos", "Brunch is my fav hobby", "Swipe left if you don't support BLM", "Swipe left if you're a Trump Supporter", "Swipe Left if you're not Woke", Group pics on a fancy boat, pics with food, pics with alcohol, pics in exotic locations, Marathon pics, Spartan pics, Popup Museum pics, Music Festival pics, Iceland pics, Machu Picchu pics, Stupid life phrase memes, stupid face expression pics, axe throwing pics, pics where you only see her back, pics with her dog, pics with her nephew/niece, etc. These are all common and so not original. Sheep following the herd but thinking she's somehow special and unique. LOL

On the other hand, guy profiles - pics with guns/shooting range, pics fishing, pics on motorcycles or atv, bathroom selfies, gym pics, pics with cars, ab pics, pics with statues, etc. that girls complain about. LOL

As for traveling, a lot of these b1tches go there just to brag. They don't learn anything about the culture or go off the beaten path to see how people there really live. They congregate in tourists areas sipping on their mimosas next to a pristine pool at a resort. Hardly the best reasons to travel IMO.

If nothing else them saying these things basically just provides an opening. That is all there is to it. It gives you your excuse for 1-3 lines of bullsh1t before you ask them out for a drink. I don't think it's really that big a deal nor do I think you (not you specifically just generally) can say that "all women who like to travel are sluts." Most women like to travel.

Most women want excitement and traveling provides that. It isn't indicative of anything when it comes to a relationship with them IMO.

 

[jaymbrs]

Hey brother,

We're sure to get some heat on this but we DGAF (insert shrug).

Unlike the opinions of other men here, who also find it "unattractive" or "intimidating", the issue is on you, mate. Don't get shut off because someone else is actually living life and investing in their growth. Or those who say men who are growing their net worth do not have time to travel. All that is saying to us, is they value money more than they do themselves. See, here is a thing about money. It's worthless, its paper, and comes and goes. You will not remember how much money you made in your life while you are on your death bed. We promise you that.

You can still make money, invest, grow a business, etc, etc and travel (we do and so A LOT of other people). Travelling is one of the best investments you can make for yourself. And a lot, A LOT of people see the value of it and have the cojones to invest in travelling. Those do not, simply get to live a life boxed in their own reality. Meaning, they haven't expanded their horizons of life. They see life through the own insipid daily life full of the "good old same" and often find justification for it and like you feel bitter and jealous of others and simply call it "unattractive".

We are not saying travel just to show it on your social media page. Most people, especially women, live a "highlight" life and don't make the money they are spending on travelling, but rather comes from daddy/mommy/sugardaddy/etc. They don't count, they travel to keep a status quo and are simply empty all around. But, those that travel to experience the world, expand their horizons and visions, and push the boundaries of their own realities by experiencing firsthand other cultures and traditions will always live a more rounded life. One that can truly help you understand life, happiness, and more importantly you as a man. A life that humbles you because your problems suddenly become insignificant when you see how other people suffer or on the other hand live a meaningful life (whatever that means to you).

So back to your point, if you are "unattracted" or "intimidated" by people that are in a constant search to push themselves, that is on you mate. You are the one living a piss poor life.

Do not take this as an offense, take it with a grain of salt in the hope you see the positive message we are trying to deliver. Don't get too butthurt over the truth brother. The reason we felt compelled to respond to your post is that we disagree with most men's responses here and we feel the need to provide a different perspective. One that can actually help you grow. Because we care about how men live their lives.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

Sorry for not being specific enough on a post on a forum I log into once a week, if that. My post was about these women in bold.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Sorry for not being specific enough on a post on a forum I log into once a week, if that. My post was about these women in bold.

Oh that makes a lot more sense. Thanks for clarifying. Yes, 100%. Those women (and people cause we've seen men do it too) are empty. They are a shell, an image, and most likely lying. So yes, 100% unattractive. Or rather 100% sad and pathetic.

You just have to sometimes guess which women travel for the right reasons vs the ones that are just pathetic. But if you talk to them, you'll know quite fast.

Modern Man Advice

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Sometimes, because a lot of women like to travel so they can sloot it up and not get judged by their peers. Plus some act like they're all high and mighty because they took selfies in unoriginal, popular locations like every other basic *****. Yawn.

 

[Lookatu]

If nothing else them saying these things basically just provides an opening. That is all there is to it. It gives you your excuse for 1-3 lines of bullsh1t before you ask them out for a drink. I don't think it's really that big a deal nor do I think you (not you specifically just generally) can say that "all women who like to travel are sluts." Most women like to travel.

Most women want excitement and traveling provides that. It isn't indicative of anything when it comes to a relationship with them IMO.

Yeah I agree with you. What I stated wasn't really meant to sound totally negative. Some women travel as their hobby just like some guys like spending their money on guns.

My message to the OP basically was saying that this kind of stuff is common in many female OLD profiles so he really shouldn't think anything of it or let it affect his mindset.

I was just throwing in my rant is all, while I was at it.

 

[Mike32ct]

A lot of women on OLD travel-maxxed pre Cove.

I’m not really a traveler (except for some limited domestic trips), so I find it sort of a turn off because we wouldn’t be compatible.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I wouldn’t want a gf to pressure me into flying across the world to XYZ destination.

 

[rjc149]

I absolutely like how you have constructed and articulated your argument there.

I agree with you on the aspect of the folly of travelling to run away from responsibility and long term wealth growth. I also concur that travelling benefits have a saturation threshold.

I think the key here is balance. Too much of anything never does any good. Travelling is not exempted from this adage. Additionally the underlying motive behind the serial travelling has to be established and understood by both the traveller and third parties. Travelling for escapism from responsibility is detrimental. Travelling for egotistic (social media influencing) reasons is nonsensical.

Nexting a woman purely on the basis of her travel mileage is also not very smart. The traveller community is much smaller than the non-travelling majority community. There are billions of stay-at-home people who struggle to build wealth. Minimising travel to focus on wealth creation is very good, but its no guarantee that those wealth creation efforts will succeed. Many many people are on their purpose from Jan to Dec but still spin their tires and are up to their necks in debt. They however deserve utmost respect for trying, sticking at it and taking responsibility for their life paths.

Good point. I, for one, would love to travel more -- but for my own curiosity at the world beyond the NYC coastline, not to pad my resume.

It's my understanding that the OP is pointing out how a list of countries visited is somehow a status symbol. On OLD, it's often given as such. I've seen profiles that include a literal list of countries they've visited, and all the selfies they took along the way.

Personally, I'm not only unimpressed with it, but there's nothing about it that would indicate that person is interesting, or has any further perspective about the world beyond her social media accounts. There's nothing interesting or necessarily respectable about checking off a list of locations you've take selfies at.

Therefore, my point is that a woman who advertises her globetrotting shouldn't be intimidating at all -- it's more likely an indicator that she's shallow and image-driven, both of which provide sufficient motive to swipe her ass left.

My other point is that the OP is comparing himself negatively to those who spend a lot of money and time traveling. Meaning, he places equal importance on traveling as a selfie queen. I would contend that as a man, he should place higher importance on building a career and net worth, both things that would leave world traveling something to do with spare time, or when retired, if he wants to optimize his status.

If he wants to prioritize traveling, that's totally fine. It's just a choice that often requires sacrificing other endeavors in life. For some people, accumulating experiences is more important than accumulating wealth -- and to a certain extent, I'm on that boat myself. There are many sexy women who will value a well-traveled, interesting man over a high-status, financially successful man. But generally speaking, the latter is a more universally-attractive male archetype. Pursuing that archetype should not make a man feel inadequate with women who have prioritized traveling and leisure.

 

[jaymbrs]

Good point. I, for one, would love to travel more -- but for my own curiosity at the world beyond the NYC coastline, not to pad my resume.

It's my understanding that the OP is pointing out how a list of countries visited is somehow a status symbol. On OLD, it's often given as such. I've seen profiles that include a literal list of countries they've visited, and all the selfies they took along the way.

Personally, I'm not only unimpressed with it, but there's nothing about it that would indicate that person is interesting, or has any further perspective about the world beyond her social media accounts. There's nothing interesting or necessarily respectable about checking off a list of locations you've take selfies at.

Therefore, my point is that a woman who advertises her globetrotting shouldn't be intimidating at all -- it's more likely an indicator that she's shallow and image-driven, both of which provide sufficient motive to swipe her ass left.

My other point is that the OP is comparing himself negatively to those who spend a lot of money and time traveling. Meaning, he places equal importance on traveling as a selfie queen. I would contend that as a man, he should place higher importance on building a career and net worth, both things that would leave world traveling something to do with spare time, or when retired, if he wants to optimize his status.

If he wants to prioritize traveling, that's totally fine. It's just a choice that often requires sacrificing other endeavors in life. For some people, accumulating experiences is more important than accumulating wealth -- and to a certain extent, I'm on that boat myself. There are many sexy women who will value a well-traveled, interesting man over a high-status, financially successful man. But generally speaking, the latter is a more universally-attractive male archetype. Pursuing that archetype should not make a man feel inadequate with women who have prioritized traveling and leisure.

Not sure where I gave all that off. I’m all for traveling but don’t intend on spending my life savings on it. Money I save up, gets invested. Traveling IMO is great if done once in awhile. Not in a “gotta travel to X number of countries before I turn 30” mindset.

 

[rjc149]

Not sure where I gave all that off. I’m all for traveling but don’t intend on spending my life savings on it. Money I save up, gets invested. Traveling IMO is great if done once in awhile. Not in a “gotta travel to X number of countries before I turn 30” mindset.

So why do you care if a girl travels a lot? Why would it bother you, or make you feel somehow inferior? Your mindset and priorities seem to be in the right place. I don't see a problem here.

 

[Medina]

"I like to travel" = I like to take it up the azz in different countries so I can learn about myself

 

[Travel memoir21]

Lol this thread is funny. I love to travel man, I think I might make a travel journal for my upcoming adventures.

You ain’t traveling if you’re not willing to eat canned squid or sardines just to build rapport with the locals.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm from the US and not referring to those who have traveled domestically. Trying out this online dating thing and geez all these women who have been to places like Egypt, Asia, South America, etc. It's almost as if that's where the bar is set. Is it me or does that not come off as that?

Huh? No...I like cultured people. My Dad is foreign so gives us a lot to talk about.

The problem with a lot of people in the US is they don't know what the fvck is going on outside their own city, let alone state or country but then project this patriotism of how the US is better than everyone else but then can't defend this notion because they can't talk about anything of note to have an intelligent discussion on anything let alone compare and contrast different ways of life or different cultures.

That is the problem...foreigners are very educated about not only their own country but also the US and are disgusted when they ask an American about what is going on in their own country and they have no idea but then bash their country. We come off looking stupid. There is a reason why they call us "Dumb Americans"...

OP, none of this is directed at you in particular, moreso to the country in general.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I can absolutely share in your feeling OP but I have always struggled to define it clearly.

It's the fear that she can just up and leave, that she knows people; the potential to slip away in the dark, never to be saw again.

Also, I believe it's a pessimistic thought because in almost every case, the grass seems greener on the other side, we are aware of that.

 

[jaymbrs]

So why do you care if a girl travels a lot? Why would it bother you, or make you feel somehow inferior? Your mindset and priorities seem to be in the right place. I don't see a problem here.

As I mentioned, it seems to set an expectation that she wants someone to blow their money on traveling, which I would not. So "incompatibility" would probably be the best word to use when running across these profiles. There's just so many. And take for instance this girl I'm chatting with asked me where is my favorite destination to visit as her first question. I say Miami. She then replies she likes Greece and South Africa. That's a NEXT in my book.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I respectfully disagree with you on this one Sparta. There are 2 possible issues at play here, underpinning why someone would be unattracted to a woman who has travelled.

1. Feeling challenged
People who travel naturally gain a richer and deeper view of themselves and their place in the wider world. Thats why a lot of young people take a gap year to travel around the world. The self-discovery value of these adventures is broadly acknowledged. A person who travels has a more open mind, has more social depth and has more exciting stories to tell. A man encountering a woman displaying these qualities may feel a little inadequate, uninteresting and challenged.

2. A superiority complex
Referring to some parts of the world as second and thirld world ***holes is disrespectful at the very least. But setting the obvious disrespect aside; it hints at a mind-frame of superiority. It appears that in your book, if a woman has travelled to ***hole countries she automatically becomes tainted and tarnished, and her value drops because she has rubbed shoulders with communities you consider to be beneath you.

If one or both of these 2 scenarios apply to you, then you very much need to work on your inner self a bit more my brother.

Disagreeing with me is totaly fine!

1. I do not feel challenged by women that are broke 90% of the year, that live in a "****hole"-apartment 90% of the year to save money for their next trip and ask the next best simp for money to repair their crappy car.
2. I do not feel challenged by women that have seen 20 countries abroad but cant pull their weight in a LTR.
3. I do not need a more open mind, more social depth and more exciting stories to tell and i dont require a woman with these qualities. For all the "social depth" these women tend to be the "independend strong women" that cant be bothered to take their place in a family and set aside their selfishness.
4. I do not feel inadequate, uninteresting and challenged, i do not feel attracted to the minds and souls of these women.
5. I respect my ancestors that have built a wonderful country out of blood, sweat and tears. I dont have to respect people that keep ****ting in holes and cut other peoples heads off over their religious believes or cartel-feuds.
6. Asides from that, a mind-frame of superiority is nothing to be ashamed of. People do it here all the time when they talk about the sexual market value of men and women for example.