Getting her to engage.....?

[scarface701]

So there's a woman that I know I'm better off without... so this isn't about getting her back.

However, she left in such a horrible fashion that it's always left me wanting some sort of closure.

It's been years since all this happened and just when I think we've both moved on and I won't hear from her again... I get the random IMY e-mail or something of that nature. If I respond and say "hey how have you been"... she won't respond. Then I won't hear from her again for 4-6 months. This has been going on for 5 years. So it's not that this woman is any major part of my life... but she refuses to ever engage in any actual conversation.

Obviously she's just dangling the hook to see if I'm still there and if I'll bite. I've tried saying anything and everything just to experiment... and see if I can get her to engage.... but she won't. I can yell at her and tell her off... no response.... I can say "let's run away and get married" and no response... I can say... "I've got a hotel room tonight and I'm all alone" and no response.... it has actually become quite comical.

So I guess my question is... with a woman that just likes to dangle the carrot but never actually wants to engage... have any of you ever had any luck having any sort of real conversation?

The IMY but I won't talk to you act makes no sense to me.....

 

[Billtx49]

The fact that she left you is your closure. Your responses to her emails is enough in her world to give her validation that you still want her. That’s all it is…
The solution - Radio Silence, block her, & she disappears ……

 

[Lookatu]

So I guess my question is... with a woman that just likes to dangle the carrot but never actually wants to engage... have any of you ever had any luck having any sort of real conversation?

Yes I have and it never works out and it's a HUGE waste of time and it's stressful. Do yourself a favor and block these vampires from sucking anything more from you. @billtx49 solution is the best.

 

[Clamslammer]

So there's a woman that I know I'm better off without... so this isn't about getting her back.

However, she left in such a horrible fashion that it's always left me wanting some sort of closure.

It's been years since all this happened and just when I think we've both moved on and I won't hear from her again... I get the random IMY e-mail or something of that nature. If I respond and say "hey how have you been"... she won't respond. Then I won't hear from her again for 4-6 months. This has been going on for 5 years. So it's not that this woman is any major part of my life... but she refuses to ever engage in any actual conversation.

Obviously she's just dangling the hook to see if I'm still there and if I'll bite. I've tried saying anything and everything just to experiment... and see if I can get her to engage.... but she won't. I can yell at her and tell her off... no response.... I can say "let's run away and get married" and no response... I can say... "I've got a hotel room tonight and I'm all alone" and no response.... it has actually become quite comical.

So I guess my question is... with a woman that just likes to dangle the carrot but never actually wants to engage... have any of you ever had any luck having any sort of real conversation?

The IMY but I won't talk to you act makes no sense to me.....

higj Value Men do not waste their time with girls like this. Ignore and move forward. She will hit the wall soon and wonder where all of the good men have gone

 

[Max Baker]

higj Value Men do not waste their time with girls like this. Ignore and move forward. She will hit the wall soon and wonder where all of the good men have gone

At least they will have cats to fill the void.

 

[xplt]

The fact that she left you is your closure.

That should be everything you need to know. What do you want from someone, who doesn't want you in their life anymore? That's the only question you need to ask yourself to get closure.

 

[NSX-R]

I feel you but immature people will never change. Only solution for your problem is to block her everywhere . Only then at least you’ll know that she will never bother you again snd time will help you forget about her .

 

[dude99]

So there's a woman that I know I'm better off without... so this isn't about getting her back.

However, she left in such a horrible fashion that it's always left me wanting some sort of closure.

It's been years since all this happened and just when I think we've both moved on and I won't hear from her again... I get the random IMY e-mail or something of that nature. If I respond and say "hey how have you been"... she won't respond. Then I won't hear from her again for 4-6 months. This has been going on for 5 years. So it's not that this woman is any major part of my life... but she refuses to ever engage in any actual conversation.

Obviously she's just dangling the hook to see if I'm still there and if I'll bite. I've tried saying anything and everything just to experiment... and see if I can get her to engage.... but she won't. I can yell at her and tell her off... no response.... I can say "let's run away and get married" and no response... I can say... "I've got a hotel room tonight and I'm all alone" and no response.... it has actually become quite comical.

So I guess my question is... with a woman that just likes to dangle the carrot but never actually wants to engage... have any of you ever had any luck having any sort of real conversation?

The IMY but I won't talk to you act makes no sense to me.....

She obviously doesn't appreciate you as a human being. She sees you as something to keep her entertained. Ask yourself this, why try to to give someone more of what they don't appreciate already. It is counter productive and has no positive effect for you.

Ignore. Delete. Block.

Problem solved.

 

[RangerMIke]

There really is nothing you can do to get women to do anything. If she is feeling it then she'll act on that, if she is not, then she won't.

You can not illicit any positive emotion remotely so texting... email... social media... none of that really matters because she isn't putting any real effort in you. It take less than a minute to respond to a message, she can do that when she's sitting on the john, so the fact she is 'responding' doesn't really mean anything. However, if she doesn't respond at all... well you know she places almost no value in you at all.

Today women are glued to their cell phones, so she got your message, and she won't take 15 seconds to respond then you know where you stand.

The only thing you can do is if she reaches out to you, try to make a date, if she won't meet you then anything else is a waste of time.

Nothing else matters accept her willingness to spend time with you face to face. Don't get sucked into playing footsie via smart phone.

This sort of thing happens to me all the time... it happens to all of us. Heck, it just happened to me today. Made plans with a woman to meet for brunch, tried to call last night to change locations because I learned the place were were going had take-out only. She didn't answer, just left her a message to call back, she never did. At that point I KNEW she was going to flake so I just made other plans. Got text this morning saying her sister is sick and she didn't want to risk it. My response was "okay"... but I already knew what was going to happen.

I'm not ticked off by this, she's just a chick behaving like a chick... nothing was going to happen, so I'm not going to waste my time and will just forget about her. If she doesn't reach out to re-schedule then we'll never communicate again. The point here is that if she won't meet you in person then she isn't really interested. If this chick was really interested she would have crawled over broken glass to meet up.

 

[bat soup]

So there's a woman that I know I'm better off without... so this isn't about getting her back.

However, she left in such a horrible fashion that it's always left me wanting some sort of closure.

It's been years since all this happened and just when I think we've both moved on and I won't hear from her again... I get the random IMY e-mail or something of that nature. If I respond and say "hey how have you been"... she won't respond. Then I won't hear from her again for 4-6 months. This has been going on for 5 years. So it's not that this woman is any major part of my life... but she refuses to ever engage in any actual conversation.

Obviously she's just dangling the hook to see if I'm still there and if I'll bite. I've tried saying anything and everything just to experiment... and see if I can get her to engage.... but she won't. I can yell at her and tell her off... no response.... I can say "let's run away and get married" and no response... I can say... "I've got a hotel room tonight and I'm all alone" and no response.... it has actually become quite comical.

So I guess my question is... with a woman that just likes to dangle the carrot but never actually wants to engage... have any of you ever had any luck having any sort of real conversation?

The IMY but I won't talk to you act makes no sense to me.....

You have to learn to control yourself and stop caring. If she writes again reply "f off"

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

So there's a woman that I know I'm better off without... so this isn't about getting her back.

However, she left in such a horrible fashion that it's always left me wanting some sort of closure.

It's been years since all this happened and just when I think we've both moved on and I won't hear from her again... I get the random IMY e-mail or something of that nature. If I respond and say "hey how have you been"... she won't respond. Then I won't hear from her again for 4-6 months. This has been going on for 5 years. So it's not that this woman is any major part of my life... but she refuses to ever engage in any actual conversation.

Obviously she's just dangling the hook to see if I'm still there and if I'll bite. I've tried saying anything and everything just to experiment... and see if I can get her to engage.... but she won't. I can yell at her and tell her off... no response.... I can say "let's run away and get married" and no response... I can say... "I've got a hotel room tonight and I'm all alone" and no response.... it has actually become quite comical.

So I guess my question is... with a woman that just likes to dangle the carrot but never actually wants to engage... have any of you ever had any luck having any sort of real conversation?

The IMY but I won't talk to you act makes no sense to me.....

Gauge her, see if she'll double text or ask a question. Stop trying to initiate a conversation, let her do that. Let her do 100% of the initiating, give her flat responses, as if your message is the last one of the convo.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Your problem is that you still care too much - about her and getting her to engage. You can say you've moved on all you want, but your actions prove otherwise.

A high value male stops caring and moves on if it doesn't work out with a girl. It's a mindset you have to get into. The problem with most guys is that they're secretly hoping that chicks it hasn't worked out with will one day contact them again and change their mind. But the true high value male doesn't care if this happens, and if she does contact him again he is indifferent to her and does not engage with her.

So you need to get yourself to that place mentally. How do you do that? By focusing on yourself, your goals, passions etc and becoming the best version of yourself. By pursuing tons of other women. By having high standards and not allowing women to treat you disrespectfully. You'll soon get into the mindset where you don't care if a chick reinitiates contact with you, and you won't feel all excited or want to get back with her if she does because you simply won't care.

In practical terms, the solution is NOT to try and get her to engage. You're asking the wrong question. The solution is to ignore messages and don't respond. Better still, block her so she can't message you again. Whenever it doesn't work out with a girl, for whatever reason, I delete her number and all contact details so I cannot reinitiate contact.