Girl on Facebook - cold approach, kind of

[MoMoses]

Ok. Normally when I meet a woman in a club or even in the super market I make my intentions clear very quickly, get her number and try to get her on a date. I'm not the smoothest, best looking MF you'll ever meet but I've gotten pretty good over the years.

But now this happened and I need some advice. Here's my story:

I live in a big house with three other people. It's an amazing way to save money and there's always someone around to talk to. It's a pretty common thing where I live because rent is sky high. Now one housemate is moving in with her boyfriend so we were looking for a new habitant and placed an ad. Lots of people came by and most were interested in joining our cohousing. And then she came along... Lucy.

Lucy send me an e-mail one day asking if she could come by and introduce herself and take a look around the house. It was a good e-mail. She gave me a lot of info about herself and her dog and told me she recently broke up with her bf after 5 years and she needed a place to stay. I replied that she could come over and made some jokes. Something I do with every guy or girl who send us an e-mail. It's a way of knowing of this person would fit in or not.

Oh boy. I knew I was in trouble the minute I read her response. Not only did this girl have a sense of humor, she was also very witty and verbal. She countered my jokes and turned them around on me. I was... speechless. This doesn't happen to me very often. We e-mailed a bit back and forth and she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. After 3 e-mails we had already given eachother nicknames.. there was chemistry and I didn't even know how she looked like. Tried to find her on Facebook but there were dozens of girls with her name and surname.

A few days later she came over and I remember it well.. I opened the door and lo and behold.. the most beautiful girl next door kinda girl I had ever seen in my life stood there in the pouring rain. I just stood there.. barely able to say hello. She then said: "Are you gonna invite me in or are you going to wait until I drown at here?" We laughed.

She came inside and met the other housemates (a guy and a girl) and everybody loved her. But the first thing she told us was that she had just visited another cohousing and that she liked it there a lot, so basicly her mind was already made up. She had told those people that she would move in there. However, because she got such a good vibe from talking to me over mail, she wanted to check our place out aswell.

The day after her visit she send me an e-mail confirming that she chose the other cohousing because it was so close to her job, but she was happy meeting us and she could see herself living with us aswell. "You win some you lose some" she said, in the end logistics were way better with the other house, plus it was cheaper and she knows one of the people there since kindergarden.

Bummer. I was looking forward to seeing her every day, but then it hit me... never piss where you eat.. it's actually better if she didn't become my housemate! This doesn't mean I have to stop seeing her? Right?

So I looked for her on Facebook again and because I now knew how she looks like I actually found her. So I added her and shoot her a message, telling her I liked our vibe and that she could come over anytime to watch the new season of a popular TV-show in my country (we talked about that TV-show when she was here. Turns out she was as big of a fan as the rest of us).

She accepted the friendship request and replied to my message. Lots of replies I might even add. Lots of smileys and LOL's and she said "this seems like a good idea haha". She was also giving me longer replies than my message and ended it with saying she will keep me posted about a promotion she is about to get at her job (another thing we talked about). As in.. I will DM you again in the future. And she also asked me to let her know which new housemate we will pick.

I didn't reply. Didn't wanna look too thirsty and I already took a big step in adding her on Facebook out of the blue. This is more or less a cold approach because my interaction with her had been friendly to that point, seeing she was a potential housemate and not a potential girlfriend. I would have interacted completely different if I had met her on the streets or in a bar or whatever. I would have shown intent from the first second. Now I didn't do that and I kinda regret it. I just didn't know how she looked like and how she interacted in real life. It was all just.. e-mail. You know?

I need advice though. I have zero experience with wooing a girl on Facebook. My game is better on a date or when I see a girl. I know how to talk to a girl in order to try and get her on a date, but this is different. I am just a facebook friend at this point and chances are pretty low I'll run into her, so Facebook is all I have to try and create a spark.

How would you guys handle this?

Mind you, she just broke up with her boyfriend after 5-6 years. She's been single for only a few weeks now. I know from experience that girls that come out of long term relationships aren't always ready to date again this soon. She's still living with her ex at this moment and is moving out at the end of this month.

And on top of it all.. my country's in a very strict lockdown because of that frickin virus. All bars, clubs, etc are closed and there's a night curfew from 10pm to 6 am so even if I get her on a date.. there's nowhere to go to and we have to get back home before 10pm. Like come on... 10pm? Really? So these are the worst possible times to go on a date with someone and I know that if I want something to happen I should probably act fast. She might forget all about me in a few months or even if she remembers me, it'll be harder to get her interested because so much time has passed. Quite the dilemma.

Thanks to anyone who gives me advice. How do you pull off a semi-cold Facebook flirt during covid times?

 

[bat soup]

Ok. Normally when I meet a woman in a club or even in the super market I make my intentions clear very quickly, get her number and try to get her on a date. I'm not the smoothest, best looking MF you'll ever meet but I've gotten pretty good over the years.

But now this happened and I need some advice. Here's my story:

I live in a big house with three other people. It's an amazing way to save money and there's always someone around to talk to. It's a pretty common thing where I live because rent is sky high. Now one housemate is moving in with her boyfriend so we were looking for a new habitant and placed an ad. Lots of people came by and most were interested in joining our cohousing. And then she came along... Lucy.

Lucy send me an e-mail one day asking if she could come by and introduce herself and take a look around the house. It was a good e-mail. She gave me a lot of info about herself and her dog and told me she recently broke up with her bf after 5 years and she needed a place to stay. I replied that she could come over and made some jokes. Something I do with every guy or girl who send us an e-mail. It's a way of knowing of this person would fit in or not.

Oh boy. I knew I was in trouble the minute I read her response. Not only did this girl have a sense of humor, she was also very witty and verbal. She countered my jokes and turned them around on me. I was... speechless. This doesn't happen to me very often. We e-mailed a bit back and forth and she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. After 3 e-mails we had already given eachother nicknames.. there was chemistry and I didn't even know how she looked like. Tried to find her on Facebook but there were dozens of girls with her name and surname.

A few days later she came over and I remember it well.. I opened the door and lo and behold.. the most beautiful girl next door kinda girl I had ever seen in my life stood there in the pouring rain. I just stood there.. barely able to say hello. She then said: "Are you gonna invite me in or are you going to wait until I drown at here?" We laughed.

She came inside and met the other housemates (a guy and a girl) and everybody loved her. But the first thing she told us was that she had just visited another cohousing and that she liked it there a lot, so basicly her mind was already made up. She had told those people that she would move in there. However, because she got such a good vibe from talking to me over mail, she wanted to check our place out aswell.

The day after her visit she send me an e-mail confirming that she chose the other cohousing because it was so close to her job, but she was happy meeting us and she could see herself living with us aswell. "You win some you lose some" she said, in the end logistics were way better with the other house, plus it was cheaper and she knows one of the people there since kindergarden.

Bummer. I was looking forward to seeing her every day, but then it hit me... never piss where you eat.. it's actually better if she didn't become my housemate! This doesn't mean I have to stop seeing her? Right?

So I looked for her on Facebook again and because I now knew how she looks like I actually found her. So I added her and shoot her a message, telling her I liked our vibe and that she could come over anytime to watch the new season of a popular TV-show in my country (we talked about that TV-show when she was here. Turns out she was as big of a fan as the rest of us).

She accepted the friendship request and replied to my message. Lots of replies I might even add. Lots of smileys and LOL's and she "will consider" coming over to watch that show. I know.. "will consider" is politely saying not really, but I'm not entirely dead in the water yet because she was giving me longer replies than my message and ended it with saying she will keep me posted about a promotion she is about to get at her job (another thing we talked about). As in.. I will DM you again in the future. And she also asked me to let her know which new housemate we will pick.

I didn't reply. Didn't wanna look too thirsty and I already took a big step in adding her on Facebook out of the blue. This is more or less a cold approach because my interaction with her had been friendly to that point, seeing she was a potential housemate and not a potential girlfriend. I would have interacted completely different if I had met her on the streets or in a bar or whatever. I would have shown intent from the first second. Now I didn't do that and I kinda regret it. I just didn't know how she looked like and how she interacted in real life. It was all just.. e-mail. You know?

I need advice though. I have zero experience with wooing a girl on Facebook. My game is better on a date or when I see a girl. I know how to talk to a girl in order to try and get her on a date, but this is different. I am just a facebook friend at this point and chances are pretty low I'll run into her, so Facebook is all I have to try and create a spark.

How would you guys handle this?

Mind you, she just broke up with her boyfriend after 5-6 years. She's been single for only a few weeks now. I know from experience that girls that come out of long term relationships aren't always ready to date again this soon. She's still living with her ex at this moment and is moving out at the end of this month.

And on top of it all.. my country's in a very strict lockdown because of that frickin virus. All bars, clubs, etc are closed and there's a night curfew from 10pm to 6 am so even if I get her on a date.. there's nowhere to go to and we have to get back home before 10pm. Like come on... 10pm? Really? So these are the worst possible times to go on a date with someone and I know that if I want something to happen I should probably act fast. She might forget all about me in a few months or even if she remembers me, it'll be harder to get her interested because so much time has passed. Quite the dilemma.

Thanks to anyone who gives me advice. How do you pull off a semi-cold Facebook flirt?

You've fallen in love with her and she's said she "will consider" meeting up with you. Which means she has zero interest in ever seeing you again.

Next time, wait for a woman to prove that she actually has genuine interest in you before falling in love. This girl could be lesbian for all you know.

 

[MoMoses]

You've fallen in love with her and she's said she "will consider" meeting up with you. Which means she has zero interest in ever seeing you again.

Next time, wait for a woman to prove that she actually has genuine interest in you before falling in love. This girl could be lesbian for all you know.

I'm not in love. I wanna get to know her and I'm asking you guys for advice on how to procede.

edit: I checked her message again (it's been a few days).. I was wrong. She didn't say "I will consider it". Her exact words were "this sounds like a good idea haha". I wrote she'd consider it but that sounded too negative in English.

 

[derby1]

Its not to hard brother, keep comms light and low through DM, you will only message your way out of the Golden gates, never into them.

However I am going to prewarn you, I was also in your predicament recently, Literally a girl who i vibed with like no other. her social skills were spectacular like i was the man of her dreams, she held my face when we kissed as if wed known each other years....I even had to tell her to slam the brakes on a little

then out the blue, she literally vanished half way through our mid day convo, A convo she initiated.

2 days later the ex boyf retagged her in a relationship. He had obviously pulled off some super AFC move to get her back, as she was the one who dumped him......you will never beat emotional investment though.

the audacity of her to lovebomb me, then vanish, as if im the over eager one lol

 

[MoMoses]

.you will never beat emotional investment though.

True!

That's why I mentioned her just getting out of a LTR. I know these girls aren't the best picks to have a relationship with. Sex yes, but a relationship always seems to open a can of worms if you know what I mean. One of the girls I'm seeing atm got dumped by her man after 10 years (she's 31 now). At first I wanted a relationship with her. Now I just keep her in rotation. She's not over her ex and I'm not willing to wait for that to happen. We hook up every few of days or so. I like it like it is.

 

[derby1]

youve got the right idea, just presume her mind is elsewhere, even if she gives you huge speeches about what a great G/f she will be..or how great you are......its nice to hear, and obviously the effort must mean they like you somewhat, but they can vanish as quick as an ex - girlfriend whos checking shes still desired

 

[MoMoses]

youve got the right idea, just presume her mind is elsewhere, even if she gives you huge speeches about what a great G/f she will be..or how great you are......its nice to hear, and obviously the effort must mean they like you somewhat, but they can vanish as quick as an ex - girlfriend whos checking shes still desired

Solid advice. Thanks

 

[jimwho]

I'd message her "Are you going to come over here or not"? "Don't make me threaten you with my home made burgers".
She has a great sense of humor. You might rattle her with that one!

 

[2Rocky]

Yeah, Invite her to your house. Minimize chit chat on FB.

I'm worried that you have set up too much of a friendly vibe, rather than sexual tension.

 

[MoMoses]

Yeah, Invite her to your house. Minimize chit chat on FB.

I'm worried that you have set up too much of a friendly vibe, rather than sexual tension.

I'm worried about that too so I wanna act fast. She just liked my profile picture on FB.. time to act.

Thing is.. I am not used to flirting over Facebook messenger. This is uncharted territory for me. I know how to text girls after I get their number or (in the past) when I matched with them on Tinder, but this is different. I have to raise attraction without her seeing my body language, eye contact and intonation when I talk/joke around. Luckely she did see me in real life before.

So basicly, I should talk to her on FB the way I would talk to her if I'd gotten her number after a night out?

 

[2Rocky]

1)She has comfort since you met her FtF.
2) Flirt when you can do something about it. When you are physically with her.
3) Don't give her the attention she craves when she is not in your presence. IE FB, Insta TIkky tok, etc...Make your company the attention she wants.
4)Social Media interactions are mental masturbation. Use them accordingly...

My limited online interactions with women have been flirty without being explicit...

She opened me on Tinder with "Hi!" and a couple smilies, a wink and a kiss.

I replied at noon with a "Hi Cutie"

After we switched to text I told her I could use a drink tonight. We settled on a 7 pm meet up at one of her favorite places.


She sent me a picture of herself from Saturday night since she said she was cleaning out her car on her day off.

So I sent her one of me in a sport coat and collared shirt with my bald head shining in the light.
with the caption "Me Sans Chapeau".

She responds with "what does that mean? I don't talk that fancy talk."

Me: "well it is French for "without hat". I figured I could either talk fancy to you or dirty. Now I know which one you prefer."
Her: "Oooh you are BAAADDD"

More banter throughout the afternoon. She was already trying to set up the idea future bbq dates, and proposed dinner. She asked me to pick her up in my vehicle in front of a wine tasting room.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Ok. Normally when I meet a woman in a club or even in the super market I make my intentions clear very quickly, get her number and try to get her on a date. I'm not the smoothest, best looking MF you'll ever meet but I've gotten pretty good over the years.

But now this happened and I need some advice. Here's my story:

I live in a big house with three other people. It's an amazing way to save money and there's always someone around to talk to. It's a pretty common thing where I live because rent is sky high. Now one housemate is moving in with her boyfriend so we were looking for a new habitant and placed an ad. Lots of people came by and most were interested in joining our cohousing. And then she came along... Lucy.

Lucy send me an e-mail one day asking if she could come by and introduce herself and take a look around the house. It was a good e-mail. She gave me a lot of info about herself and her dog and told me she recently broke up with her bf after 5 years and she needed a place to stay. I replied that she could come over and made some jokes. Something I do with every guy or girl who send us an e-mail. It's a way of knowing of this person would fit in or not.

Oh boy. I knew I was in trouble the minute I read her response. Not only did this girl have a sense of humor, she was also very witty and verbal. She countered my jokes and turned them around on me. I was... speechless. This doesn't happen to me very often. We e-mailed a bit back and forth and she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. After 3 e-mails we had already given eachother nicknames.. there was chemistry and I didn't even know how she looked like. Tried to find her on Facebook but there were dozens of girls with her name and surname.

A few days later she came over and I remember it well.. I opened the door and lo and behold.. the most beautiful girl next door kinda girl I had ever seen in my life stood there in the pouring rain. I just stood there.. barely able to say hello. She then said: "Are you gonna invite me in or are you going to wait until I drown at here?" We laughed.

She came inside and met the other housemates (a guy and a girl) and everybody loved her. But the first thing she told us was that she had just visited another cohousing and that she liked it there a lot, so basicly her mind was already made up. She had told those people that she would move in there. However, because she got such a good vibe from talking to me over mail, she wanted to check our place out aswell.

The day after her visit she send me an e-mail confirming that she chose the other cohousing because it was so close to her job, but she was happy meeting us and she could see herself living with us aswell. "You win some you lose some" she said, in the end logistics were way better with the other house, plus it was cheaper and she knows one of the people there since kindergarden.

Bummer. I was looking forward to seeing her every day, but then it hit me... never piss where you eat.. it's actually better if she didn't become my housemate! This doesn't mean I have to stop seeing her? Right?

So I looked for her on Facebook again and because I now knew how she looks like I actually found her. So I added her and shoot her a message, telling her I liked our vibe and that she could come over anytime to watch the new season of a popular TV-show in my country (we talked about that TV-show when she was here. Turns out she was as big of a fan as the rest of us).

She accepted the friendship request and replied to my message. Lots of replies I might even add. Lots of smileys and LOL's and she said "this seems like a good idea haha". She was also giving me longer replies than my message and ended it with saying she will keep me posted about a promotion she is about to get at her job (another thing we talked about). As in.. I will DM you again in the future. And she also asked me to let her know which new housemate we will pick.

I didn't reply. Didn't wanna look too thirsty and I already took a big step in adding her on Facebook out of the blue. This is more or less a cold approach because my interaction with her had been friendly to that point, seeing she was a potential housemate and not a potential girlfriend. I would have interacted completely different if I had met her on the streets or in a bar or whatever. I would have shown intent from the first second. Now I didn't do that and I kinda regret it. I just didn't know how she looked like and how she interacted in real life. It was all just.. e-mail. You know?

I need advice though. I have zero experience with wooing a girl on Facebook. My game is better on a date or when I see a girl. I know how to talk to a girl in order to try and get her on a date, but this is different. I am just a facebook friend at this point and chances are pretty low I'll run into her, so Facebook is all I have to try and create a spark.

How would you guys handle this?

Mind you, she just broke up with her boyfriend after 5-6 years. She's been single for only a few weeks now. I know from experience that girls that come out of long term relationships aren't always ready to date again this soon. She's still living with her ex at this moment and is moving out at the end of this month.

And on top of it all.. my country's in a very strict lockdown because of that frickin virus. All bars, clubs, etc are closed and there's a night curfew from 10pm to 6 am so even if I get her on a date.. there's nowhere to go to and we have to get back home before 10pm. Like come on... 10pm? Really? So these are the worst possible times to go on a date with someone and I know that if I want something to happen I should probably act fast. She might forget all about me in a few months or even if she remembers me, it'll be harder to get her interested because so much time has passed. Quite the dilemma.

Thanks to anyone who gives me advice. How do you pull off a semi-cold Facebook flirt during covid times?

This is a fascinating story. We were kinda hoping it would be like one of those penthouse stories when she came over and you guys were alone. Haha just messing with you. We are against porn or anything of that nature.

However, your questions and concerns are valid. What we do sense is that covid-19 has made a lot of guys thirsty, whether we want to accept it or not, that's a different story. But with fewer social spaces or scenarios for men to meet women, social media, and really just about any chance we get, we tend to overthink it.

A few things to consider:

1) While she might have been authentic and really hit it off with you, please remember she was putting her "best foot" forward. Therefore, she could have been extra nice, likable, and relatable to get the room at your place.

2) She broke up with her bf, do you really wanna date someone that is going through a messy situation? Especially since they are still living together? Now if it's just sex then make a move and make it clear. Fast. Time is of the essence.

3) Lookin for her and connecting with her on FB, cannot possibly go unnoticed to her. If she is smart enough, which sounds like she is, she already knows what's up and has already made her mind about you. If she is not truly giving you a runway to land your plane she probably won't.

Having said all that, you have nothing to lose by straight saying something like "Hey [insert nickname], I'm gonna go to [insert place], and [insert activity], on [insert date] feel free to join me" so basically invite her to you rad life without giving her the chance to reject you. Meaning, don't just ask "Hey do you wanna hang out?". That's stupid.

Then gauge her response, if she says yes then you better bring your A-game to that date. If she says no, wait for her to give you a second date option if she is unavailable. If she does not give you an alternative date where she is available, then move on. Don't even bother.

Hope this helps and let us know if you have any questions or how we can help.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

 

[MoMoses]

1)She has comfort since you met her FtF.

I hope so. And I do feel that she likes me as a person. Whenever I get this vibe from a girl I assume she's interested in me. Sounds ****y, I know, but this sends the right vibe back.

3) Don't give her the attention she craves when she is not in your presence. IE FB, Insta TIkky tok, etc...Make your company the attention she wants.

I know, but it's good to be reminded of that so thanks

4)Social Media interactions are mental masturbation. Use them accordingly...

Love this metaphor!

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Ok. Normally when I meet a woman in a club or even in the super market I make my intentions clear very quickly, get her number and try to get her on a date. I'm not the smoothest, best looking MF you'll ever meet but I've gotten pretty good over the years.

But now this happened and I need some advice. Here's my story:

I live in a big house with three other people. It's an amazing way to save money and there's always someone around to talk to. It's a pretty common thing where I live because rent is sky high. Now one housemate is moving in with her boyfriend so we were looking for a new habitant and placed an ad. Lots of people came by and most were interested in joining our cohousing. And then she came along... Lucy.

Lucy send me an e-mail one day asking if she could come by and introduce herself and take a look around the house. It was a good e-mail. She gave me a lot of info about herself and her dog and told me she recently broke up with her bf after 5 years and she needed a place to stay. I replied that she could come over and made some jokes. Something I do with every guy or girl who send us an e-mail. It's a way of knowing of this person would fit in or not.

Oh boy. I knew I was in trouble the minute I read her response. Not only did this girl have a sense of humor, she was also very witty and verbal. She countered my jokes and turned them around on me. I was... speechless. This doesn't happen to me very often. We e-mailed a bit back and forth and she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. After 3 e-mails we had already given eachother nicknames.. there was chemistry and I didn't even know how she looked like. Tried to find her on Facebook but there were dozens of girls with her name and surname.

A few days later she came over and I remember it well.. I opened the door and lo and behold.. the most beautiful girl next door kinda girl I had ever seen in my life stood there in the pouring rain. I just stood there.. barely able to say hello. She then said: "Are you gonna invite me in or are you going to wait until I drown at here?" We laughed.

She came inside and met the other housemates (a guy and a girl) and everybody loved her. But the first thing she told us was that she had just visited another cohousing and that she liked it there a lot, so basicly her mind was already made up. She had told those people that she would move in there. However, because she got such a good vibe from talking to me over mail, she wanted to check our place out aswell.

The day after her visit she send me an e-mail confirming that she chose the other cohousing because it was so close to her job, but she was happy meeting us and she could see herself living with us aswell. "You win some you lose some" she said, in the end logistics were way better with the other house, plus it was cheaper and she knows one of the people there since kindergarden.

Bummer. I was looking forward to seeing her every day, but then it hit me... never piss where you eat.. it's actually better if she didn't become my housemate! This doesn't mean I have to stop seeing her? Right?

So I looked for her on Facebook again and because I now knew how she looks like I actually found her. So I added her and shoot her a message, telling her I liked our vibe and that she could come over anytime to watch the new season of a popular TV-show in my country (we talked about that TV-show when she was here. Turns out she was as big of a fan as the rest of us).

She accepted the friendship request and replied to my message. Lots of replies I might even add. Lots of smileys and LOL's and she said "this seems like a good idea haha". She was also giving me longer replies than my message and ended it with saying she will keep me posted about a promotion she is about to get at her job (another thing we talked about). As in.. I will DM you again in the future. And she also asked me to let her know which new housemate we will pick.

I didn't reply. Didn't wanna look too thirsty and I already took a big step in adding her on Facebook out of the blue. This is more or less a cold approach because my interaction with her had been friendly to that point, seeing she was a potential housemate and not a potential girlfriend. I would have interacted completely different if I had met her on the streets or in a bar or whatever. I would have shown intent from the first second. Now I didn't do that and I kinda regret it. I just didn't know how she looked like and how she interacted in real life. It was all just.. e-mail. You know?

I need advice though. I have zero experience with wooing a girl on Facebook. My game is better on a date or when I see a girl. I know how to talk to a girl in order to try and get her on a date, but this is different. I am just a facebook friend at this point and chances are pretty low I'll run into her, so Facebook is all I have to try and create a spark.

How would you guys handle this?

Mind you, she just broke up with her boyfriend after 5-6 years. She's been single for only a few weeks now. I know from experience that girls that come out of long term relationships aren't always ready to date again this soon. She's still living with her ex at this moment and is moving out at the end of this month.

And on top of it all.. my country's in a very strict lockdown because of that frickin virus. All bars, clubs, etc are closed and there's a night curfew from 10pm to 6 am so even if I get her on a date.. there's nowhere to go to and we have to get back home before 10pm. Like come on... 10pm? Really? So these are the worst possible times to go on a date with someone and I know that if I want something to happen I should probably act fast. She might forget all about me in a few months or even if she remembers me, it'll be harder to get her interested because so much time has passed. Quite the dilemma.

Thanks to anyone who gives me advice. How do you pull off a semi-cold Facebook flirt during covid times?

Don't worry so much about being witty or wooing her over facebook. You guys have already met in person. Keep the DM'ing to a minimum and get her to come to your place to hang out. I would argue that the 10PM curfew is actually a GOOD thing. I have been using this to my advantage. I will meet up with a girl at a local spot that is a 4 min drive from my place. When it gets close to closing I ask her if she wants to have another drink at my place since it is only 4 min away. This has only failed once so far!

You could grab a drink with her at a place close by then invite her back for drinks, to watch a movie, hang out, whatever. Or skip right to inviting her to your place and make some food and have HER bring over some alcohol. You have the added bonus of already having met her in person. Good luck man, let us know!

 

[MoMoses]

What we do sense is that covid-19 has made a lot of guys thirsty, whether we want to accept it or not, that's a different story. But with fewer social spaces or scenarios for men to meet women, social media, and really just about any chance we get, we tend to overthink it.

Well, I'm seeing a girl but it will never get serious and I'm texting with another girl I've met in the super market. So, I'm not that thirsty but I get what you mean. This new girl is something else, hence my posts here.

1) While she might have been authentic and really hit it off with you, please remember she was putting her "best foot" forward. Therefore, she could have been extra nice, likable, and relatable to get the room at your place.

Interesting theory and worth considering

2) She broke up with her bf, do you really wanna date someone that is going through a messy situation? Especially since they are still living together? Now if it's just sex then make a move and make it clear. Fast. Time is of the essence.

It's even worse. He dumped her. She's still living with him until the end of next week, but sleeps at her sister's place until then. I've noticed they aren't even facebookfriends anymore. But again.. valid comment and I need to take this into consideration because you are right. It's easy to be blind to certain things. That's why I love it when people like you put things back into perspective. I mean.. if this would have happened to a friend I would give the exact same advice. Yet when it happens to yourself you tend to sugarcoat everything to yourself. You know what I mean, right?

3) Lookin for her and connecting with her on FB, cannot possibly go unnoticed to her. If she is smart enough, which sounds like she is, she already knows what's up and has already made her mind about you. If she is not truly giving you a runway to land your plane she probably won't.

Haven't thought about it like that. I was too worried about sending out too much "friendly" vibes so she would think of me as "ow what a nice guy". That is not what I want ofcourse. Haven't been friendzoned in ages because I always walk away when girls don't reciprocate, but when you start off in a wrong way..

IF she knows what's up her liking my picture, sending me long texts and her alluding at DM's in the future (her promotion and our new housemate) can only mean two things: she either just likes the validation after being dumped (high possibility) or she's curious and likes me to some degree and I can work with that. Or even both combined..We'll see..

Having said all that, you have nothing to lose by straight saying something like "Hey [insert nickname], I'm gonna go to [insert place], and [insert activity], on [insert date] feel free to join me" so basically invite her to you rad life without giving her the chance to reject you. Meaning, don't just ask "Hey do you wanna hang out?". That's stupid.

Excellent proposal. a "hey, wanna hang out" is something I never send a girl btw.. for obvious reasons, after trial and error. This seems to end in errors rather than success most of the times I tried something like this. Again, I never need to send something like this because when I get someone's number they already know I'm interested so I text them to go for drinks or an activity and they always know I like them as more than a friend. I like your take on things man.

Hope this helps and let us know if you have any questions or how we can help.

Sure thing man! Thanks for your help. It really helped me out.

And yes, you are right.. I am overthinking things. We'll see where it goes from here. If it's a no I'll move on and won't even bother anymore.

I send her a facebook message yesterday evening. She hasn't opened it yet and thus hasn't responded but she's a girl.. mobile phones are glued to their hands. She got my message already. We'll see when or if she responds and what she responds. If she doesn't even bother to answer anymore I'll have my answer.

Knowing girls her letting me wait can only mean two things:
1) She isn't interested and she wants me to get the clue (75% chance)
2) She starts to get interested and she wants to see how I react (25% chance)

See? I'm overthinking again. I guess I'll never change

 

[MoMoses]

Don't worry so much about being witty or wooing her over facebook. You guys have already met in person. Keep the DM'ing to a minimum and get her to come to your place to hang out. I would argue that the 10PM curfew is actually a GOOD thing. I have been using this to my advantage. I will meet up with a girl at a local spot that is a 4 min drive from my place. When it gets close to closing I ask her if she wants to have another drink at my place since it is only 4 min away. This has only failed once so far!

You could grab a drink with her at a place close by then invite her back for drinks, to watch a movie, hang out, whatever. Or skip right to inviting her to your place and make some food and have HER bring over some alcohol. You have the added bonus of already having met her in person. Good luck man, let us know!

I get a lot of "invite her over" advice. I'll make sure to do that if she shows some interest. Thanks!

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I get a lot of "invite her over" advice. I'll make sure to do that if she shows some interest. Thanks!

Definitely man! As you're saying - you need to see the 'interest'.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Well, I'm seeing a girl but it will never get serious and I'm texting with another girl I've met in the super market. So, I'm not that thirsty but I get what you mean. This new girl is something else, hence my posts here.




Interesting theory and worth considering



It's even worse. He dumped her. She's still living with him until the end of next week, but sleeps at her sister's place until then. I've noticed they aren't even facebookfriends anymore. But again.. valid comment and I need to take this into consideration because you are right. It's easy to be blind to certain things. That's why I love it when people like you put things back into perspective. I mean.. if this would have happened to a friend I would give the exact same advice. Yet when it happens to yourself you tend to sugarcoat everything to yourself. You know what I mean, right?



Haven't thought about it like that. I was too worried about sending out too much "friendly" vibes so she would think of me as "ow what a nice guy". That is not what I want ofcourse. Haven't been friendzoned in ages because I always walk away when girls don't reciprocate, but when you start off in a wrong way..

IF she knows what's up her liking my picture, sending me long texts and her alluding at DM's in the future (her promotion and our new housemate) can only mean two things: she either just likes the validation after being dumped (high possibility) or she's curious and likes me to some degree and I can work with that. Or even both combined..We'll see..



Excellent proposal. a "hey, wanna hang out" is something I never send a girl btw.. for obvious reasons, after trial and error. This seems to end in errors rather than success most of the times I tried something like this. Again, I never need to send something like this because when I get someone's number they already know I'm interested so I text them to go for drinks or an activity and they always know I like them as more than a friend. I like your take on things man.



Sure thing man! Thanks for your help. It really helped me out.

And yes, you are right.. I am overthinking things. We'll see where it goes from here. If it's a no I'll move on and won't even bother anymore.

I send her a facebook message yesterday evening. She hasn't opened it yet and thus hasn't responded but she's a girl.. mobile phones are glued to their hands. She got my message already. We'll see when or if she responds and what she responds. If she doesn't even bother to answer anymore I'll have my answer.

Knowing girls her letting me wait can only mean two things:
1) She isn't interested and she wants me to get the clue (75% chance)
2) She starts to get interested and she wants to see how I react (25% chance)

See? I'm overthinking again. I guess I'll never change

Haha we get it bro, we are men after all. It is in our nature to figure things out and solve problems so don't blame yourself for being what comes naturally to you. But yes, you are in control to have that in check at any given time so do so. You will live a more stressless life.

Remember, thoughts become perception and perception makes reality. So watch your thought life, don't say you will never change. Because in fact, you are always evolving. Some of it you are aware of and is intentional (personal growth) and some of it's unconsciously but you are always changing. But the more of it that is intentional the better.

And please do keep us informed, this is a fascinating scenario and we would like to know what happens.

Cheers,
Jim

 

[MoMoses]

And please do keep us informed, this is a fascinating scenario and we would like to know what happens.

Well we talked a bit last friday and she laughed and joked around. I ended it after 10 minutes or so.
6 days later I messaged her again (she asked me to keep her posted about something and I had some news). She replied, some hahaha's and smileys and she liked my profile picture. I messaged her again 15 minutes later by asking a question and she left that one unread for 4-5 days now. She got that message and either choose not to answer it, or she forgot because it wasn't all that important to her.

Don't care which of the two it is because the outcome is the same: little interest

Like some of the guys above have pointed out: do I really wanna get involved with a girl who just broke up after a LTR and who's in the middle of moving out of her bf's house?

This isn't the time to flirt with her. Technically she didn't reject me, but she send a clear signal and I understand.

Gonna try again in a couple of months, we'll see if the opportunity presents itself then. Not gonna bother by sending a follow up message at this point. It's useless and will only hurt my chances. We'll see. Her mindset can be different after being single for a month or 3-4.

Gonna focus on other women now

 

[MoMoses]

And please do keep us informed, this is a fascinating scenario and we would like to know what happens.

Update: I'm going on a date with her next saturday and she's blowing up my phone.

To answer the question I myself asked when starting this thread: You message a girl on Facebook like you would text her after you got her number when you approached her.

I kept it light, kept it fun, did a lot of push pull by making her laugh and then disappearing on her for a few days. I was hoping she'd reach out and would start chasing me a bit and she did. It took her a week or two but she initiated contact after I pulled back again and I immediately asked her out.

Excited about this one