Girl who had a boyfriend over a year ago now hits me up.

firstbornunicorn

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Over a year ago I hit on this girl pretty hard and kinda smoothly at a bar. It was a get together of a local youth "outdoors" club, and I was talking about my van that I had converted into a camper, and she joined the conversation. I asked her if she was into the #vanlife thing, and she said yes, to which I replied "nice, I was looking for an excuse to make the bed bigger". We added eachother on fb but when asking her out for a drink she mentioned a boyfriend. I asked if she wanted to upgrade to a man friend, and mentioned that she would get 50% off if she ordered immediately. We laughed it off.

Now, over a year since that conversation and no other contact since, she asked if I wanted to join her on a weekend ski trip. Is she signalling being free? Is such a long time normal for this? I'm kinda new to this game stuff, and am simply not used to the feedback loops and how long they take.

Thanks.
 

Robert28

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She wants you to pay for the trip. As in pay for her. I can smell it coming a mile away.
 

Lookatu

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Now, over a year since that conversation and no other contact since, she asked if I wanted to join her on a weekend ski trip. Is she signalling being free? Is such a long time normal for this?
Just ask her. Simple as that.

Yes it can be normal for girls to reach out after a long time if you left a favorable impression on her but she had other things going on at the time.
 

firstbornunicorn

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Just ask her. Simple as that.

Yes it can be normal for girls to reach out after a long time if you left a favorable impression on her but she had other things going on at the time.
Yeah I sadly have 0 to gain because I'm a 7 hour drive away from her since moving away from that city. Planted the seeds but no reaping I guess.
 

2Rocky

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Why the hell not go do the ski trip? Any hookup that happens is just icing on the cake. She invited you right?

Never say whoa in a horse race.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Why the hell not go do the ski trip? Any hookup that happens is just icing on the cake. She invited you right?

Never say whoa in a horse race.
He is 7 hours away after moving out of the area is probably the main reason.
 

2Rocky

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With a 3 day weekend a seven hour drive is not a big deal. But I'm a guy that likes windshield time.

I'll be driving a 5 hours to go ski for the day this weekend.
 

cola

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Honestly, it’s probably an easy lay if you feel like driving/flying. Could be a group of her friends are coupled up and she doesn’t wanna be the 5th or 7th wheel. If you literally have nothing better to do that weekend, I say f*ck it.. go ski and have a multi-night stand.

Worst case scenario, you could get a great picture of you all decked out on skis for tinder.
 

firstbornunicorn

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The thing is I have planned that 7 hour trip in early March already to go see another girl :rofl:

I'll hit this one up too when I'm there.

It's not the typical skiing with lifts that you're used to over there. Here in Norway we do a lot of randonée. (you put something like sandpaper at the bottom of the skis, which allows you to also walk up with them, then you take it off and ski down!).
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

RangerMIke

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She wants you to pay for the trip. As in pay for her. I can smell it coming a mile away.
Yep... She's trying to see just how 'useful' you might be to her. This happens to me on occasion. I could be wrong, but the best way to find out for sure is to say you're busy when she wants to go and offer to take her away to something else you want to do... camping... fishing, whatever and see if she bites. If she goes along with YOUR plans, then you will know she is really interested.

it's about a 50-50 chance that if you go on this ski trip and pay for it, that anything is going to happen.

You really shouldn't be going on any trips with a chick you aren't sleeping with.
 

RangerMIke

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Honestly, it’s probably an easy lay if you feel like driving/flying. Could be a group of her friends are coupled up and she doesn’t wanna be the 5th or 7th wheel. If you literally have nothing better to do that weekend, I say f*ck it.. go ski and have a multi-night stand.

Worst case scenario, you could get a great picture of you all decked out on skis for tinder.
I agree... as long it's something you want to do anyway. Go because you want to ski... don't go if the only reason is hooking up, but there is a good chance that isn't happening.
 

EyeBRollin

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Yep... She's trying to see just how 'useful' you might be to her. This happens to me on occasion. I could be wrong, but the best way to find out for sure is to say you're busy when she wants to go and offer to take her away to something else you want to do... camping... fishing, whatever and see if she bites. If she goes along with YOUR plans, then you will know she is really interested.

it's about a 50-50 chance that if you go on this ski trip and pay for it, that anything is going to happen.

You really shouldn't be going on any trips with a chick you aren't sleeping with.
The expectation is that because she invited you, she is paying. I’d make that clear before going
 

firstbornunicorn

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There's nothing to pay for, you hike up the mountain on day 1, stay the night on some $20/night offgrid cabin and then ski down the next day.
 

RangerMIke

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There's nothing to pay for, you hike up the mountain on day 1, stay the night on some $20/night offgrid cabin and then ski down the next day.
Okay, well then no problem. Go if you want to ski, but don't go if the only reason you are is to nail this chick or make her happy.
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Dust 2 Dust

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My 2 cents.
I never travel to meet women for a 1st meeting. I always make them come to me for the first meeting. Traveling to her=entering her frame.
 

firstbornunicorn

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Update: I went to that city to get some stuff from storage and suggested going for a hike with her. She suggested just meeting at her place. Watched rocketman, made out, went down to business, and then she baked freshly made scones in the morning and played the guitar for me totally naked. 10/10

Lesson here I guess: when she says she has a boyfriend, maybe she does. Leave a good impression and wait for her to come to you, she'll remember.
 

bat soup

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Over a year ago I hit on this girl pretty hard and kinda smoothly at a bar. It was a get together of a local youth "outdoors" club, and I was talking about my van that I had converted into a camper, and she joined the conversation. I asked her if she was into the #vanlife thing, and she said yes, to which I replied "nice, I was looking for an excuse to make the bed bigger". We added eachother on fb but when asking her out for a drink she mentioned a boyfriend. I asked if she wanted to upgrade to a man friend, and mentioned that she would get 50% off if she ordered immediately. We laughed it off.

Now, over a year since that conversation and no other contact since, she asked if I wanted to join her on a weekend ski trip. Is she signalling being free? Is such a long time normal for this? I'm kinda new to this game stuff, and am simply not used to the feedback loops and how long they take.

Thanks.
Sounds like some kind of female bullshiiiiiiit. She fobs you off with excuses, avoids you for a year and now instead of meeting up for a drink she's talking about skiing trips.

Here's what I'd do. Tell her "Sounds nice. Let's meet up for a drink and talk about it". Her reaction to this will tell you what you need to know:

Excuses = not interested (probably just wanted a free trip)
Meets, but brings along kochblokkers or avoids getting close to you and just wants to talk about the trip = wants to take advantage of you
Meets, sits close to you, doesn't protest when you start touching her leg = maybe worthwhile, but don't go on any trips with her until after you've had sex
 

Modern Man Advice

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Over a year ago I hit on this girl pretty hard and kinda smoothly at a bar. It was a get together of a local youth "outdoors" club, and I was talking about my van that I had converted into a camper, and she joined the conversation. I asked her if she was into the #vanlife thing, and she said yes, to which I replied "nice, I was looking for an excuse to make the bed bigger". We added eachother on fb but when asking her out for a drink she mentioned a boyfriend. I asked if she wanted to upgrade to a man friend, and mentioned that she would get 50% off if she ordered immediately. We laughed it off.

Now, over a year since that conversation and no other contact since, she asked if I wanted to join her on a weekend ski trip. Is she signalling being free? Is such a long time normal for this? I'm kinda new to this game stuff, and am simply not used to the feedback loops and how long they take.

Thanks.
Do some digging (directly or indirectly) is if she is single or not. If she is not, and unless she is bringing her hot-single friends then you might be in for a long and awkward weekend trip. But if she is inviting you, most likely she is single and she wants to find out more about you.

Although, we must say, after a year and a short conversation at a bar, inviting someone to a weekend ski trip is a bit sketchy. But once you know the details and as long as you're not paying for the trip, you should go and have a blast. And focus on your fun and experience regardless.

Just play it cool, and try to find out details and honestly, just straight up ask her what the deal is after a year of no contact.

And please, report back to the forum haha. We want to know what happens.


Modern Man Advice
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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